slay your way

Why Fit In When You Were Meant To Stand Out

When I was younger, all I wanted was to blend in. To disappear into the background, unnoticed, safe from prying eyes. The thought of standing out filled me with anxiety. What if people saw what I saw? What if they really saw me? I spent years hiding behind a mask, trying to fit into roles that made me feel acceptable. Even as an actor, I found comfort in playing characters—if someone disliked them, at least it wasn’t the real me.

But the real transformation happened when I stripped away those layers and stood there with nothing to hide behind. Vulnerable. Exposed. For a long time, I felt like there was nothing there but a gaping void.

The work of discovering and embracing my true self wasn’t easy. It took courage to not just like the real me, but to love and celebrate her. And it all began with saying yes—to experiences, to challenges, and to moments that stretched me outside of my comfort zone.

Embracing the Weird and Wonderful

As I started saying yes more often, my quirks surfaced. The playful, silly side I’d suppressed began to shine. I realized that being called “weird” was actually a compliment. Weird meant I was no longer trying to mold myself into what others expected. I was me—unapologetically.

Now, I seek out the other “weirdos” on my path. They inspire me, because they’re living authentically, just like I strive to do. Their light is a reminder that authenticity is beautiful and magnetic.

Think about it: why settle for being a copy of someone else? When we dim our true selves to fit in, we lose trust—not just in others, but in ourselves. Trust grows when we embrace our truth, when we stand confidently in who we are.

The Power of Authenticity

When we live authentically, we will stand out. Our light shines brighter. It attracts others who are also ready to step into their truth. It gives them permission to do the same.

Authenticity creates connection. It breaks down barriers. And it gives us a sense of belonging—not because we’re fitting into someone else’s mold, but because we’ve finally found our people.

You have something special to offer the world. Don’t hide it. Step out of the shadows. Let us see you—the real you. Because when you do, you’ll inspire others to do the same. And that’s how we all rise together.

SLAY Reflection

Here’s your chance to reflect and take action, SLAYER:

  • S: What masks are you wearing to fit in?

  • L: How would it feel to let those masks go and embrace your true self?

  • A: What’s one small step you can take today to let your light shine?

  • Y: Who inspires you with their authenticity, and how can you draw from their courage?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re hiding that you’re ready to embrace?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to show up as their true self, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Ignoring The Facts Doesn’t Make Them Go Away

You can’t pretend the facts don’t exist.
You may ignore them, twist them, or bury them deep—but they don’t vanish.

When we avoid truth—because it’s too painful, too inconvenient, or too scary—we don’t protect ourselves. We injure ourselves.

Truth, no matter how sharp, is the foundation for growth. Without grounding in what is, we drift into fiction, stories, and confusion.

The Temptation to Deny

Feelings are persuasive. Our minds can convince us “this isn’t happening,” “that person didn’t mean it,” or “I’ll worry tomorrow.”

I used to be a master at it. I saw only what I wanted to see to preserve my story. Over time, I blurred the line between fact and fantasy until I couldn’t tell the difference.

But ignoring the truth doesn’t erase it—it delays the consequences. The costs only build: regret, confusion, broken relationships, self-betrayal.

Avoidance is a short-term refuge with long-term bankruptcy.

When Facts Feel Too Heavy to Hold

Sometimes the facts we need to face are terrifying.

  • “This relationship is toxic.”

  • “I’m not being honest with myself.”

  • “I’ve been settling.”

The pull to deny them is real. It’s easier to live in a comfortable lie than wrestle with the weight of truth.

But the irony is this: truth brings liberation. Even when it hurts, it frees you from the prison of your own illusions.

What the Facts Give You

When you embrace reality—even the parts you don’t like—you gain:

  • Clarity. You see what’s actually happening, not what you fear is happening.

  • Authority. You can act from truth, not fear.

  • Power. You no longer cede control to illusions or assumptions.

  • Growth. You move forward with integrity instead of spinning in confusion.

Facts aren’t magic. They don’t always heal instantly. But they give you the platform to heal intentionally.

How to Face the Facts

It takes courage—and consistency. But here’s how you begin:

  1. Ask yourself: What do I know to be true?
    In moments of chaos, pause. What fact can you anchor to—no matter how small?

  2. Stop arguing with evidence.
    When you catch yourself resisting what’s clear, name it: “I’m fighting the facts because I’m scared.”

  3. Document what you see.
    Journaling, voice notes, voice memos—let the truth come out in the light.

  4. Let the facts guide action.
    Knowing something is true isn’t passive. Use it to make decisions, to set boundaries, to course-correct.

  5. Practice radical acceptance.
    Acceptance doesn’t mean liking what is. It means not wasting your energy resisting it. Use your focus for forward motion.

Truth in the Toolbox

I now carry “facts” in my SLAY toolbox—tools I use daily.
They help me discern between inner drama and real problems.
They help me take responsibility where I need it, and release what isn’t mine.
They help me walk confidently in my life, not guided by fear.

Yes, sometimes facts will cut deep. But you’re meant to walk through the fire—not be burned by it.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What facts in your life are you avoiding or denying?

  2. How has ignoring them hurt you—emotionally, mentally, relationally?

  3. What’s one small truth you can own today (even if it feels scary)?

  4. How might your life shift if you stopped arguing with evidence?

  5. What action can you take now based on what is, not what you wish it were?

S – Stop ignoring what you already know
L – Let truth, not fear, be your guide
A – Act from what you see, not what you imagine
Y – Yield to integrity—let your life be shaped by real facts

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one fact you’ve been avoiding—and how could facing it change your life?
Share your reflection in the comments. Let’s grow together in honesty.

And if you know someone who’s trapped by denial or stories, send this to them.
Sometimes, truth is the first arrow we need to slay illusions.

Keeping Your Side Of The Street Clean

It’s easy to look at someone else’s mess and call it out. But here’s the truth: we all have our own mess to manage. And if we’re being honest? It’s usually easier to spot someone else’s than to deal with our own.

Lately, I’ve been navigating a major life transition—a season full of change, compromise, and triggers. Most days, I can catch myself before reacting in old ways. But sometimes? I slip. I say or do something that’s not aligned with who I’m becoming. It doesn’t feel great. But I’ve learned something powerful: mistakes don’t define me—how I clean them up does.

Look Inward First

When you’ve made a mess, the first step is owning it. That means pausing long enough to acknowledge where you went wrong—not where someone else did.

Open, honest communication is essential. Admit your part without excuses. I’ve carried the weight of unacknowledged mistakes before, and it’s heavy. You end up walking through life with a dark cloud following you—not because of what someone else did, but because you haven’t owned your part.

Here’s what I’ve learned: most problems can be worked through with a sincere conversation. People are far more forgiving when they sense you’re being real with them.

Apologize. Make It Right.

Humility is not weakness—it’s wisdom.

If you’ve wronged someone, apologize clearly and directly. Skip the over-explaining or blame-shifting. They don’t need to hear all your reasons. They need to feel your sincerity.

Sometimes a heartfelt “I’m sorry” is enough. Other times, you may need to ask how to make it right. Be open to what they say. And remember, making things right isn’t about winning—it’s about restoring trust.

And if your instinct is to defend, justify, or co-blame? Pause. That’s not the work. Your side of the street is yours to clean. Period.

Make the Mess a Message

Mistakes are not dead ends—they’re spotlights on where we need to grow.

Rather than beating yourself up, get curious. What triggered that reaction? What could you do differently next time? Every misstep is a chance to shift your path.

I now try to see these moments not as failures but as feedback. They shine a light on areas I still need to work on, and that’s a gift. It helps me become more self-aware, more emotionally grounded, and more intentional in my relationships.

The goal isn’t to be perfect. It’s to be accountable. Honest. Clean.

Being a SLAYER Means Owning Your Part

At the end of the day, keeping your side of the street clean means taking responsibility for your actions, no matter what someone else does. It means not letting your ego steer the ship. It means choosing peace over pride.

We can’t control others. But we can control how we show up. And when we lead with integrity? That ripple changes everything.

Let your integrity speak louder than your mistakes. That’s how we Slay.

SLAY Reflection

  1. When was the last time you had to own a mistake?
  2. Did you take action to make it right—or avoid it?
  3. How do you typically react when you’ve messed up?
  4. Is there something on your side of the street that needs cleaning?
  5. What could change in your life if you started showing up with more ownership?

S-L-A-Y:

  • See your part clearly
  • Let go of blame and excuses
  • Act with humility and integrity
  • You’re responsible for your energy and actions

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What does keeping your side of the street clean look like for you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone working on showing up better, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Breathe Louder Than Your Thoughts

Breath is the one thing we all have access to—and yet, it’s the first thing we forget when life gets loud. But here’s the truth: your breath is more powerful than your panic. More steady than your stress. More faithful than your fear.

It was yoga that first taught me to really breathe. To use my inhale as an anchor and my exhale as a release. Over time, I realized something deeper: the sound of my breath could drown out the noise in my head.

Silence Isn’t Empty—It’s Full of Truth

I used to run from silence. I filled every quiet space with background noise—TV, music, podcasts—because when things got quiet, my thoughts got louder. And let me tell you, those thoughts weren’t kind.

But here’s what I didn’t know back then: avoiding the silence meant avoiding myself. I couldn’t hear my needs, my pain, or my intuition because I was drowning them out. It took time, intention, and practice to sit in silence and just breathe.

Now? Silence is my sanctuary. It reminds me I’m here. I’m alive. I’m present. My breath is the proof.

Shallow Breath, Shaky Ground

When I’m stressed, scared, or angry, I don’t always notice my breath at first. But then the chaos comes rushing in—racing thoughts, old triggers, worst-case scenarios. Shallow breathing invites old versions of me back in: the reactive one, the revengeful one, the version I’ve worked hard to outgrow.

That woman lives in my short breath. So I take a deep inhale and send her packing. I breathe in the present. I exhale the past. Because the woman I am today lives in my deep breath.

Let Breath Lead the Way

When things feel hard, when fear gets loud, when you’re tempted to run or lash out—pause. Breathe.

Your thoughts may scream. Your fears may shout. But your breath? Your breath will always whisper, “You’re safe. You’re here. You’ve got this.”

As SLAYERS, we don’t run. We breathe. We root down. We move forward with intention. Even when we’re scared. Especially when we’re scared.

Breath Is Power. Use It.

Next time you find yourself spiraling, check in with your breath. Are you breathing shallow and fast? If so, pause. Place your hand on your belly. Breathe in for four counts. Hold for two. Breathe out for four.

Do it again.

And again.

Let your breath get louder than your thoughts. Let it lead you back to the truth. You are not your fear. You are not your panic. You are not your past.

You are here. You are present. And you are powerful.

So breathe in, power up, and SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you notice your breath change when you’re stressed or overwhelmed?
  2. What happens to your thoughts when you take deep, intentional breaths?
  3. How do you typically react when fear gets loud?
  4. What calming practices help bring you back to yourself?
  5. What would it look like to let your breath guide your next step?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Stop and notice your breath.
  • Listen to what it’s telling you.
  • Act with intention from a grounded place.
  • You hold the power to shift your state with a single inhale.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you breathe through the noise when life gets loud?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been feeling overwhelmed lately, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a breath—and a reminder.