Self Love

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! 97% of what you worry about never happens.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Anxiety Figure Out

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Don’t overthink or overtalk your way out of happiness.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Overthinking

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Decisions become easier when you no longer aim to please the world.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Hold You Back

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What’s behind your walls?

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Confined By The Walls

Do You Build Up Walls To Protect Your Disease?

When I was living in my disease I built up walls. I thought I was building them up to protect me from all of you. From the big bad cruel world that was out to get me. But what I was really doing was building walls to protect my disease so I could stay sick. I didn’t want to stay sick, but that’s what’s tricky about mental illness, it controls our thoughts and actions without us even knowing it, making us think what we’re doing is our idea, when it’s really not, or in our best interest. Those walls that I built to protect me, only protected me from getting well, and behind those walls I kept getting sicker.

When I think back to those years I struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and bad habits and decisions that did harm to my overall mental, spiritual and physical health, my decline was so seamless I didn’t even notice it until I felt overwhelmed by it. I had been setting up my own decent into darkness for years and years, and as each year passed, I built up more and more walls to keep me from connecting from those people, places and things that could have had a positive influence on me. I didn’t want a positive anything in my life, even though I thought I did, but truthfully as the years went on I didn’t feel I deserved it, so I set myself up to fail, to fall deeper and deeper into the dark until I almost wasn’t able to find my way out. I would have been offended back then if someone had said I had disease, much less that I had been protecting it, but that is the truth of what was going on, and I am responsible for my part and acknowledging my disease was the first step in taking my life back.

We all can build walls to protect us from things we think are there to harm us. But how many of us have built them to protect us from getting help, or better, and we’re actually protecting our disease and keeping ourselves sick because that is what we know and think where we’re supposed to be? What are our walls protecting exactly? Only we can be rigorously honest and ask ourselves that truth.

For some of us, our sicknesses have become our identity, it’s what connects us to others who will not judge us, because those we spend our time with our just as sick, or perhaps sicker. We keep ourselves tethered to people and things that keep us just out of reach of the help we may need, or even a positive voice that may shed some light on our path. For me, I had been doing that for so long, it was absolutely terrifying to step out into the light, to feel exposed and unsure of the next step, but it also felt liberating to no longer feel tied down and ashamed the place I found myself, and, in doing so, I found a little bit of hope that I could move forward from that place and it wasn’t my destiny to stay stuck there. The truth is, we are never stuck, unless we allow ourselves to be, there is always hope, there is always help, and there is always a way out, but we’ll never find those things hiding behind our walls all by ourselves.

Tear down those walls you may have built, or, at least look around them, to find the light you need to light your path. Stop protecting what harms you and start fighting for yourself and where you are supposed to be, a place that allows you to be your best self, reaching your full potential and your dreams of what you could become. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you build walls to protect yourself? From what? From whom? Is it possible you are protecting your disease, or sickness, bad habits or fears that keep you away from connecting with people who may love and support you? Why do you think you do this? When did you start doing this? What can you do to stop doing this? How does it harm you to do this? Find the courage SLAYER, to reach out, to connect with those like yourself, with those who have overcome obstacles of their own and who may offer you a hand to pull you out from behind those walls you’ve built for yourself.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Today is full of possible.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Mad Hatter

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is a place inside you where anything is possible.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Belief and Action

Leave Room For Possibility

My brain tends to straddle between the practical and the magical. But when I get overwhelmed, tired, or stressed out, it typically defaults to the practical, which, can be helpful in walking through things, but it can also close my peripheral vision and the place where the magic happens. I consciously work every day to keep the channels of possibility open in my mind, to leave room for the unknown and channel my positive energy to that place, because the truth is, I don’t know everything, no one does, or can, but believing I do, or that I know what the outcome will be, closes the door of possibility of anything different than what I’ve already predetermined will be. I’ve learned, from the many years of living in the dark, that, not only I am grateful that I left the door of possibility open just a crack on a day when it mattered most, but that me thinking I know everything can lead me to a place of utter despair and a state of emergency. So, every day, I keep that door open, even when it feels safer to slam it shut, for possibility to come in.

When I was struggling to find the light in my life if felt safer to close off the world around me. I tend to, when I feel like things are out of control in my life, try to tighten the reigns and control things more, at least what is within my control, but in doing that I only see what I want to see, and I’m only thinking of safety, or what I perceive as safety, instead of really seeing all of the possibilities of what’s out there. During those times of fear, the “what’s out there” is what scares me, but, what’s out there isn’t always something I should be fearful of, because it can bring many beautiful gifts. In my journey today it is important to keep my heart open, that is the place where possibility is born, which is why, at times, it can be scary to leave room for it, because I feel vulnerable. But it is within that vulnerability that I have received so many incredible gifts, and why I work, each day, to live within it.

I do believe we are meant to share ourselves with others, to share those vulnerabilities, be mindful of what we do, but allow people to see who we are and where we’ve been, to feel compassion for those around us, and to be open to new things, thoughts, people and challenges. I have found that my vulnerabilities, those things I used to work so hard to hide, are what connects me to those people I cherish most, it allows me to share my light with others who may need it, just as someone else’s vulnerability lit my path almost 14 years ago. Our vulnerability is a powerful thing, which is probably why it can be so scary to show it to the world, but it is our soft gooey center that is our sweetest part.

As I am thinking about the year ahead, I remind myself to leave room for possibility, and that may be easy as we look forward to a fresh start, but it’s important to leave that room every day, especially when things gets tough or we get bruised by disappointment, it’s during those times that we need to push that door open a little more. We don’t know everything, and even though things may look like all is lost, there may be a reason for it all happening the way it has, and by leaving room for possibility we allow ourselves to be open to a positive result. For me, I had to trudge through a lot of difficult roads to find myself on the road I am now, and I can see how all of the roads I traveled on, even the most treacherous, had to be traveled on to bring me to this road where the possibilities are endless. Open your heart and let the possibilities in. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you leave room for possibility, or close yourself off thinking you already know the outcome? Does living closed-minded leave any room for the unexpected, or possibility of a different outcome? When have you been surprised in my life when something turned out differently than you expected. Write down an example. What did you do differently then that you may not do ever day? What stops you from doing that every day? Look at possibility like leaving room for dessert, I know I never have a problem doing that, so do what needs to be done each day, make sound, clear choices, but leave a little extra room for something sweet, you may be surprised what comes your way.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Don’t let yourself be trapped by people who doubt you.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

state-of-slay Underestimated

Dark Horse Wins The Race

It’s always great when we have the support of your friends and family when we set out to accomplish a goal. It doesn’t always work out that way, and many times we can get derailed in our efforts because we let those around us influence our confidence or thinking that we may not be capable of reaching our potential or get to where we want to be. I have a great support group, but there have been times in my life where some around me have not understood or fully supported me in my efforts. It has hurt, and there were times when I was younger that I let that doubt creep in and turn into my own self-doubt and I became fearful and unsure if I could actually do what I wanted to do. As I got older the fear of not trying outweighed the fear of failure so I would move forward anyway, but there was always that bit of self-doubt weighing in the back of my mind. That little bit of negativity often prevented me from giving whatever I was working on my complete all, which always effected the results. I did reach many goals back then, but not always to my full potential.

As I made a commitment to learn to love myself, and honor who I am, I learned, and began to believe, that, not only, was a capable of doing whatever I set my mind on, but that I deserved it. That second part was the missing part that had eluded me earlier in my life. As much as I could dig my heals in and push forward anyway, I never truly believed I deserved what I was working to accomplish, and when I did accomplish it, I would look at that accomplishment as luck or a fluke that I had actually gotten to the finish line, taking away that accomplishment from myself. But once I believed that I deserved those things I was working so hard for, that changed everything. It no longer became as important to me that everyone thought I could do something, it is certainly nice to have a cheering section to encourage me, but it’s not a necessity, in fact, when I did meet resistance, armed with self-love and self-worth, I surged ahead anyway, knowing that, at times, someone thinking I couldn’t accomplish something may work to my advantage of completing that goal. When your not expected to win, you can make a lot of headway without anyone noticing how fast you’re moving forward. And in doing so, I have converted a few doubters into believers when I crossed that finish line that they didn’t think I could cross. As I’ve said many times before, we have the power to take something negative and turn it into a positive, or in this case, fuel or positive energy to give us a turbo boost to our goal.

Don’t let someone else’s doubt cast a shadow on the work you are doing to reach your goal, let it give you that extra spark you need to light that fire within and allow you to burn bright as you move forward. Surround yourself with those who do believe, who support you and encourage you to be your best self, and find those who understand your drive to go after what you want. Be that dark horse, when the shadow of doubt is cast upon you, and convert that negative energy to positive to reach your goal, besides the pressure is off the dark horse when everyone is looking elsewhere, so pull forward, believe in yourself and take the win! SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Have their been people in your who have doubted that you are capable of accomplishing what you have set out to do? How does that make you feel? Do you let that keep you from accomplishing or going after your goals? List an example when you let others derail you from your goal? How can you prevent this from happening in the future? What can you do to moving forward to use someone’s doubt into positive energy? Never let anyone talk you out of what you want in life, it is up to you to go after what you want and if someone else isn’t able to support you in that, look to those who do, and if you feel you don’t have support at all, use all of that to fuel your victory for yourself and cross that finish line. You deserve it, and, are already a winner.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you