Good morning SLAYER! Your day is not ruined. Your world is not over. Take a deep breath and start over.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
perspective
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! People are often not disturbed by what they see, but by how they see it.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! If you don’t like something change it, if you can’t change it change the way you think about it.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Our job is to keep our side of the street clean, not to point out the trash on the other side.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Never let yourself get in the way of seeing things as they truly are.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYERS! When we change the way we look at things, the things we see change.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Everything we see is our perspective, not necessarily the truth.
SLAY on!
Perspective: It’s Not All About You
We don’t typically see things how they are, we see things as we are, and we all have a different perspective depending on what we want or were expecting to happen. Ask a group of people to recount witnessing the same incident and you’ll get as many versions as there are people. We tend to look at things through our own lens and that can cause conflict with those around us.
When I was living in the dark everything was all about me. Even when I was doing something for someone else, it was still all about me. I always wanted something in return, even if it was just the recognition for doing it. In my own perspective back then, that wasn’t true, but when I was able to look back with honesty, I had to admit that all of my motivations for doing anything back then were self-centered and self-seeking. I also walked into many situations with the intention, whether intentional or not, and making that situation about me. Even when I would say or think that the last thing I wanted was to stand out or be the center of attention, I would still manipulate the situation so that it became about me, even quietly behind the scenes. And, in those occasions when I knowingly was walking in and wanting it to be all about me and I didn’t get what I wanted, it typically resulted in some bad behavior on my part. And, even in those situations, I could always justify that bad behavior in my mind, or stuff it down like it didn’t happen, or I was deserving of it. Well, it did happen, and I wasn’t deserving.
As I got better that behavior stopped, and because of the tools I was learning to use I was able to spot my old behavior as it was rearing it’s ugly head, and spotting it in myself also gave me the perspective to see it in others and have a better understanding of why things can get derailed into different directions. The holidays is the perfect example. So many times it becomes about everyone else’s expectations or agendas that we lose the true meaning of the holidays, and instead of it being a time of good cheer, of celebrating with friends and family, it becomes about other things that are selfishly motivated. It’s important to remember what the point of each gathering or event is, and work to keep yourself in line with that, to share in the joy of the purpose of why you are there without trying to steer that event or gathering into a purpose that suits your own needs or fits your expectations. You’re purpose is to add to the purpose of the gathering or event and put your own needs and wants aside. A quick way to get out of your own motives is to ask yourself how you can be of service where you are. How can you help or make, wherever you are, better and more enjoyable, what can you add to a situation and not take away from it? Take a step back, remove yourself from what you see and see it for what it is. When we are able to take ourselves out of the equation the perspective becomes clearer and then when we step back in we are better able to be a part of something, and it’s intended purpose, without pulling the focus to us.
It’s easy to get caught up in the drama, office politics or family dynamics of a situation, but it’s important for your own peace of mind and overall mental health to not involve ourselves in situations that we shouldn’t, or not step on someone else’s toes to look better in the eyes of those around you. Keep yourself right-sized and a part of the solution, not the one causing the chaos. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you find it difficult to see things from a different perspective other than your own? How has this gotten you into trouble in the past? Do you find you are able to look at things through an objective perspective or can you only see things through your own point of view or intentions? Do you, whether intentionally or not, attempt to make situations about your and your objectives? Give an example. When we are able to let go of ego and look at every situation as one where we can be of service, many times it puts us in the right frame of mind and gets us out of self. It is important to keep our own expectations and agenda out of the mix when there is generally a greater purpose, and if we are able to stay out of the way of that purpose and even help with it, we are in the right place using the right perspective.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Either you run your day, or you day runs you.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!
Don’t Count The Days, Make The Days Count
When I was living in the dark I would look for outside things to try to create some light. Whether it was buying something new, planning a trip or finding something, anything, to escape the daily mental turmoil I was going through, I was constantly trying to find a quick outside fix to solve an internal problem. I would be heard saying often that I needed to find something to look forward to, never wanting to live in the moment of where I was because it was easier to try to distract myself than deal with the problem itself, but, and each time I did that, the problem just got stronger. Being in denial and fear of what I might have face if I stayed present and in the current moment, or day, I kept placing things ahead of me to look forward to and then would count down the days to that thing or event. It wasn’t until I finally found myself in paralyzing fear of where my denial and distractions had taken me that I finally stopped and humbly asked for help.
Even in my recovery it became all about looking forward to milestones, and as it was great to have goals to work toward, I had to make a conscious effort to stay present and make better choices for myself one moment at a time. Each day was important to my daily recovery, and I had to use each day to it’s fullest and learn healthy ways to mark increments of time, and, stay present, even if it was uncomfortable to do so. When I felt lost, or overwhelmed, I was encouraged to reach out to someone else and ask them about themselves. At first I didn’t really understand why it was suggested I do that, but when uncomfortableness got to be too much I picked up the phone to give it a try, and, lo and behold, it worked! Reaching out to someone else got me out of my own head and gave me an opportunity to find compassion for someone else and form a connection, and it did each time I did it had the same result. From there I was encouraged to help others, to share my story and to support others on their journey, which helped me on mine. As I began to do that more often my days began to count more, and the more I focused on how I could be of service to others my days counted even more, it gave my days value that they had never had, and it them a purpose. Instead of living a life in isolation, as I used to, I was living a life, actually living it, engaging with others, trying new things, and, getting better, and before I knew it, those days turned into months, and then years, but each one of the days in between have counted and brought me right to where I am today.
It’s easy to surf off into the future in our minds and wish for what we don’t have, or wait for something that’s coming, but when we do we miss out on what’s right here and now, and even though we may not place much value on what we have, it’s value becomes apparent when we focus on making each day count. How can you make your day count today? SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often look to get out of the present day by looking at the days ahead? Why do you do this? How do you do this? How does this help you? How does this hurt you? How have you, or do you, try to escape the day ahead? What do you use to get out, or stay out, of the present? What can you do to get yourself back to the present? How can you make today count? What do you have to offer that may make someone else’s day better or brighter? What if you just made a phone call to ask someone how their day was going without starting the conversation by unloading yours? Just the act of taking interest in someone else other than yourself gives your day for meaning, and, can bring some perspective of what may be weighing you down or troubling you. Everyone we encounter can bring us insight into our own lives as we may do the same for them. We are all connected and walk through each individual journey with many alongside us, so why not invite them in and share what you have and allow them to do the same. You’ll be amazed how each day begins to count and you stop counting those days when each day is filled with value.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
