Good morning SLAYER! The closer we get to get to being who we are meant to be…the brighter we shine.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Love
Shine Bright
I was touched yesterday when a friend reached out to me with a hand drawn picture and a message of hope. She said her son had drawn it as a response to my involvement with a Valentine’s Day campaign from IMALIVE to send out a message of love to those who are struggling. I got involved initially to do just that, send out the message that you, or anyone, are not alone, that you matter, that your voice deserves to be heard, and I didn’t expect the young voice of my friend’s son to be inspired to take action. It reminds me that when we put out a message of hope, when we take action, when we open our own hearts, we may touch someone else’s, and that may inspire them to share their heart with others. I’ve written before about how we may touch people’s lives without realizing it, people we may not know, or may never have a conversation with, it’s about putting our best selves out to the world, showing the world, and people around us, who we are and what we stand for, letting our hearts shine bright, and when we do that that light may reach someone who is sitting in the dark.
When I stepped on this path, I was in a very dark place, so dark that there was only one tiny speck of light, like a penlight, off in the distance, but it was that light that I kept walking toward, even when I would lose sight of it, my life depended on it, so I kept trudging forward. It was during that time that it was pointed out to me that our light can get brighter when we help someone light theirs. No matter how low or dark we may be, there is always someone who is lower, or darker, or maybe they’re in the same place, but when we reach out to offer support, to lend a hand, or to just let them know we’re there, that dim light gets brighter, for both of us, and so as suggested, I worked to share that little bit of light I had, not really trusting it was enough to help anyone on their path, and as I did my light did get brighter, and as it got brighter I found the confidence to reach out to more people and eventually found my calling to be of service to those who may be struggling in the dark.
The best cure for any day when we get stuck in our heads, or in the “poor me’s” is to do something for someone else, it will get you out of self every time, and no matter how low you may feel, you always have something to offer someone who may be feeling lower. Or, at the very least, band together to give each other strength. It always seems, especially on social media, that the negative voices out there are the loudest, but we have the power to change that. Let’s make some positive noise out in the world, let’s love and support one another because when we do, we all rise. What can you do today to give back? What can you do to make someone’s day brighter? How can you spread love instead of hate? We never know how our actions can create a chain reaction of good, how what we do may inspire someone else to take action, and so on. We are all in this together, no one should walk alone, and here at STATE OF SLAY no one does, we all walk together on this path, we light the way for those who need it, we burn bright, and, we burn brighter together. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Have there been times in your life that someone’s light helped you walk through a dark place? Have you been that light for someone else? How did that make you feel? Have there been times when you felt you were in the darkness and by sharing the light you did have, your light got brighter? How can you spread more light in your life? What can you do to take action? All we can do is put our true selves out there, to shine bright, to offer the best of who we are with the best of intentions, how that is received is completely out of our hands, but in the end, light always beats out the dark. Let your light shine SLAYERS.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes the only way to win is to walk away, that doesn’t mean you’re giving up, it just means that you accept that some things can’t be solved at this moment and time, and the best solution, is to not engage.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Live your life, and ignore the negativity.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Join our Valentine’s Campaign!
Hey there SLAYER! Valentine’s Day can be a difficult time for many who suffer from depression or are feeling alone. Myself, along a group of wonderful people, have contributed to the IMALIVE Valentine’s Day Campaign to send messages of love and encouragement those who may need it.
You can also send out your own message by posting with the hashtage #ThereIsAlwaysMe and IMALIVE with share you post.
We all matter, you matter, you are not alone.
SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! We will find what you look for, so look for something wonderful.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You have a choice each and every day. Choose to feel blessed. Choose to feel grateful. Choose to be excited. Choose to be thankful. Choose to be happy.
SLAY on!
We Find What We’re Looking For
I was trying to help someone yesterday with putting on a bracelet, this person immediately started complaining that I was putting it on too tight, the bracelet wasn’t tight, to make sure of it I had placed my finger between the bracelet and her wrist to make sure I wasn’t fastening it too tight, and as I tried to adjust it anyway, she kept complaining, so much so that I finally opened my hands letting the bracelet go and said, “OK, why don’t you do it.” She immediately jumped on me verbally and said that I had thrown it at her. I hadn’t, I just opened my hands and let the bracelet fall to the table, which was right below my hand. She looked at me with such anger, right away, and it was in that moment I realized, she was looking to be upset, so she was upset. There was no reason for her to be upset, but that’s what she had decided to be, long before we crossed paths, so that’s what she was. It reminded of a few things I’ve talked about before at STATE OF SLAY, about when we expect the good, good often comes, well, when we expect the bad, it can come, and if it doesn’t, we can manifest it on our own, like this lady yesterday. But it got me thinking, how often do we go into a situation with dread, or worry, or doubt, or, anger, only to find that’s exactly the outcome? But, were we right in expecting that? Or, did we manipulate the situation to fit the narrative we wanted to tell?
It’s important to walk into every situation with an open mind. To do your homework, prepare where you can, know your true intentions, but then let go of the outcome, and, if you can, try to make the situation a pleasant one, for all parties. We all can carry extra baggage into our days. Something is weighing on our minds, or has pissed us off, or is causing us anxiety, but it’s important not to drag that baggage around with us into the other events and situations that have nothing to do with where we currently are. I know, it can be hard to shake certain things, but it’s about keep things in perspective, and checking in with ourselves to find the source of how we’re feeling at any given moment, so we don’t take things out on people who have nothing to do with the reason you’re upset.
And, just as when we expect the good the good often comes, so does the bad when we expect it. If you’re anticipating something is going to be difficult, or frustrating, or infuriating, it probably will, because you’ve set yourself up to have that experience. Again, if you are feeling a certain way, even before you’ve gotten into the situation, find out why you’re feeling that way. Ask yourself what the real issue is, and try to let that go before stepping into something new and bringing that baggage with you. If the situation is one that you often find to be a negative one, ask yourself how you can turn it around, or, how you can make it a better experience. Many times, even in times when there isn’t much that can be done to make something better I just try to bring in a positive attitude, or bring in some humor, or, maybe compliment someone on something they’re doing right, or well. It’s about changing the energy around something, and, we’re not successful every single time, but many times it does make things smoother, or more pleasant.
When we look for the bad, the bad is what we’re going to find, and who wants to look for that all the time? Well, I used to, but it was a very unhappy place to live. Be mindful of how you’re feeling, and find out why, and, don’t take that out on someone else who has nothing to do with what’s bothering you in the first place. Be honest with your feelings, and be responsible about how you share them. It just takes a little effort to take responsibility for how you interact with others but that interaction can make a huge impact on those you interact with. Always try to leave someone in the situation the way you would want to be left, maybe even better than that, you choose. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: When you are about to start something new, or start a new task, do you assume the worst or look for the bad? If you look for the bad, why do you do you? Do you think it benefits you to look for the bad? How do you think it hurts you? What can you do to start looking for the good? Do you often carry bad feelings from past experiences into your current experiences? What is the result of that? Do you see how expecting the worst, or carrying feelings from your past, can influence how things go in your present? How can you let go of your past, or expectations, and walk into each situation or task with an open mind? How do you think that will help you? Work on that SLAYER, don’t let your past dictate your future.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Do Your Best And Forget The Rest
We tend to be a very results oriented culture. We often equate whether we did a good job with if we won, or how we placed, or, if anyone noticed. But really we win every time if we’ve just done our best, regardless of the result or if anyone noticed. And, our best changes every day, sometimes within a day, what our best was yesterday might not be our best today, because we might not be the same as we were yesterday. It’s about doing what we can in each moment, and allowing ourselves to be less than our best yesterday because it is our best today. Allow ourselves to be human. Allowing ourselves to honor who we are at any given moment, and taking the pressure off ourselves to be perfect, or always at a heightened level of execution or achievement, allowing ourselves to just be, and know that just because our best today didn’t match our best yesterday, it might tomorrow, or tomorrow might be our best!
I used to put a lot of pressure on myself to be ‘the best,’ and when I didn’t win or get the recognition I was looking for I considered myself a loser. I was a loser, I had lost the point. Trying to be number one all the time is exhausting, it’s good to have goals, to set standards for yourself, but to make that the only reason to do something is empty, and, ultimately, unattainable all the time, and for some, never attainable. Each of us have our own best, our personal best, and really that’s the only marker we should be looking at, but we should also acknowledge and honor where we are at each day, and love ourselves even when we are not able to perform at a level that we would like, our best changes as we do, and some days, just getting out of bed may be our best, and, that’s OK. So, how do we have a healthier relationship with our best?
1) Live One Day At A Time – Take stock each day of where you’re at, mentally and physically, and let that guide you as to how hard you should push yourself, or how hard you should be on yourself, really, you should never be hard on yourself, but we do tend to be at times. Be kind and let yourself move at a pace that is comfortable for you, that includes self-care, and that allows you to progress at a speed that helps you to keep moving forward. Each day starts with a different you, so check in and see where you’re at before throwing out your list of demands.
2) Acceptance – Acknowledging yourself and where you are on any given day is one thing, the next step is accepting it. If you’re feeling tired, or emotional, or your head feels scattered, take note of that, and adjust your day to work within the parameters of who you are. Beating yourself up for being something you’re not, or for not being able to do what you want to do isn’t going to help you reach your goal, it’s only going to set you back. When you accept your situation it allows you to formulate a new plan and maybe a different approach, which in the end, maybe be the better way in the first place. Accept and move on.
3) Practice – Like with everything else it’s about practice. No one gets it right every single time, allow yourself to make mistakes and be gentle with yourself when you do. Anything new takes time to get right so if you fall back into old behaviors, acknowledge it, ask yourself what you can do differently the next time, and then move on. Life is all about learning, so let yourself learn.
4) Good Results Come From Good Work – Like everything else in life, to get the results we want, we have to do the work. Just wishing something to be, or wanting it to be, isn’t going to make it happen. How can you take action in your life to get the results you would like to have, while taking into consideration of who you are on that day? You’ve got to put in the work to get the results.
All any of us can do ever day is to do our best, if we’ve done that, and we’ve done it for the right reasons, meaning because we’ve wanted to, or it’s what’s best for us, then we should be happy with that. Our best is our best. It changes every day, it changes moment to moment, and that is OK, accept who you are and what you have to offer, leave everything else behind, thinking about what we could have done, or would have liked to have done only adds to self-loathing, anxiety and depression, life is about taking action, if you took the best action you could, you did your best, and the next time something comes around, maybe you top your best, maybe you don’t, but by continuing to strive to do your best you are planting the seeds for the future, and your best will get you to a place that you want to go. SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you put a lot of pressure on yourself to do your best? Is your best ever good enough? If not, why? What do you think makes it not good enough? How can you change your attitude around it? What if you stopped judging yourself and just did your best? What can you do to have a healthier attitude around what your best is? I challenge you SLAYER, to keep an open dialogue with yourself, to check in and see how you are before jumping into a new task or project, if you feel like you need to slow down, do it, and if you think you have the energy to speed things up then give it a boost, it’s all about doing what’s best for you, and knowing that whatever you do, you did your best.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! When we know the facts we are safe.
SLAY on!
