We Find What We’re Looking For

I was trying to help someone yesterday with putting on a bracelet, this person immediately started complaining that I was putting it on too tight, the bracelet wasn’t tight, to make sure of it I had placed my finger between the bracelet and her wrist to make sure I wasn’t fastening it too tight, and as I tried to adjust it anyway, she kept complaining, so much so that I finally opened my hands letting the bracelet go and said, “OK, why don’t you do it.” She immediately jumped on me verbally and said that I had thrown it at her. I hadn’t, I just opened my hands and let the bracelet fall to the table, which was right below my hand. She looked at me with such anger, right away, and it was in that moment I realized, she was looking to be upset, so she was upset. There was no reason for her to be upset, but that’s what she had decided to be, long before we crossed paths, so that’s what she was. It reminded of a few things I’ve talked about before at STATE OF SLAY, about when we expect the good, good often comes, well, when we expect the bad, it can come, and if it doesn’t, we can manifest it on our own, like this lady yesterday. But it got me thinking, how often do we go into a situation with dread, or worry, or doubt, or, anger, only to find that’s exactly the outcome? But, were we right in expecting that? Or, did we manipulate the situation to fit the narrative we wanted to tell?

It’s important to walk into every situation with an open mind. To do your homework, prepare where you can, know your true intentions, but then let go of the outcome, and, if you can, try to make the situation a pleasant one, for all parties. We all can carry extra baggage into our days. Something is weighing on our minds, or has pissed us off, or is causing us anxiety, but it’s important not to drag that baggage around with us into the other events and situations that have nothing to do with where we currently are. I know, it can be hard to shake certain things, but it’s about keep things in perspective, and checking in with ourselves to find the source of how we’re feeling at any given moment, so we don’t take things out on people who have nothing to do with the reason you’re upset.

And, just as when we expect the good the good often comes, so does the bad when we expect it. If you’re anticipating something is going to be difficult, or frustrating, or infuriating, it probably will, because you’ve set yourself up to have that experience. Again, if you are feeling a certain way, even before you’ve gotten into the situation, find out why you’re feeling that way. Ask yourself what the real issue is, and try to let that go before stepping into something new and bringing that baggage with you. If the situation is one that you often find to be a negative one, ask yourself how you can turn it around, or, how you can make it a better experience. Many times, even in times when there isn’t much that can be done to make something better I just try to bring in a positive attitude, or bring in some humor, or, maybe compliment someone on something they’re doing right, or well. It’s about changing the energy around something, and, we’re not successful every single time, but many times it does make things smoother, or more pleasant.

When we look for the bad, the bad is what we’re going to find, and who wants to look for that all the time? Well, I used to, but it was a very unhappy place to live.  Be mindful of how you’re feeling, and find out why, and, don’t take that out on someone else who has nothing to do with what’s bothering you in the first place. Be honest with your feelings, and be responsible about how you share them. It just takes a little effort to take responsibility for how you interact with others but that interaction can make a huge impact on those you interact with. Always try to leave someone in the situation the way you would want to be left, maybe even better than that, you choose. SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: When you are about to start something new, or start a new task, do you assume the worst or look for the bad? If you look for the bad, why do you do you? Do you think it benefits you to look for the bad? How do you think it hurts you? What can you do to start looking for the good? Do you often carry bad feelings from past experiences into your current experiences? What is the result of that? Do you see how expecting the worst, or carrying feelings from your past, can influence how things go in your present? How can you let go of your past, or expectations, and walk into each situation or task with an open mind? How do you think that will help you? Work on that SLAYER, don’t let your past dictate your future.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

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