emotional healing

You Have To Be At Your Strongest When You Are At Your Weakest

It may sound impossible at times, but in those moments when we feel our weakest, we must dig deep and find our strength.

There have been countless times in my life where I’ve had to rely on an inner strength I didn’t even realize I had. Somehow, just enough rose to the surface to help me push through.

We are all stronger than we think.
And when I take a moment to reflect on everything I’ve overcome, I’m reminded of the strength and courage that carried me.
It helps me in the present.
It prepares me for the future.
Because true strength often reveals itself when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

The Sword May Feel Heavy—But It’s Still There

Looking back on my lowest points, I can admit—I didn’t always use my strength.

There were times I believed I was weak.
Times I gave in to the idea that I was broken or not worth saving.
I had flickers of power, brief moments of energy and clarity, but they’d fade. And that negative voice in my head? It would rush in, louder than ever.

That inner strength—the warrior in me—it was there.
But some days, that sword felt too heavy to lift.

There was one day in particular when I came dangerously close to surrendering.
I was at my lowest. But even then, there was a whisper of strength left inside me.
It wasn’t loud.
It wasn’t flashy.
But it was just strong enough to reach out, to ask for help, to cry for help.
And that moment changed everything.

That quiet strength was enough to rally.
Enough to begin my fight back.

What Strength Really Looks Like

For me, strength isn’t about pushing through everything without feeling.
It’s about showing up—even when it’s hard.

My strength lives in the inner warrior that walks beside me.
It’s the part of me that shields the most vulnerable parts inside.

My strength is spiritual.
It’s rooted in a connection to something greater than myself—a belief that I’m held, even when I’m hurting.

It’s also built from experience:

  • Everything I’ve survived
  • Every fight I’ve fought
  • Every story I’ve shared and heard from others walking similar paths

I also surround myself with people who reflect that strength back to me.
People who remind me who I am when I forget.
And I do the same for them.

Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s light until we remember our own.

Strength Is a Practice

I’ve learned that strength isn’t something you “find” once and then never lose.
It’s a practice. A choice. A mindset.

I know now that:

  • When I feel weak, I need to seek strength—not hide from it
  • I can’t afford to tell myself I’m powerless, even when I feel that way
  • My strength grows the more I use it, trust it, and share it

And there’s always a small spark inside me—a flame that never goes out, no matter how dark it gets.

That’s what carries me.
That’s what keeps me standing.
And that’s what I want to help you find too.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

We all have strength.
Even if it feels buried. Even if it’s been challenged.
Even if it’s quiet.

If this past year has shown us anything, it’s that we’re still here.
We’ve survived more than we thought we could.
We’ve made it through dark seasons, tough days, and hard truths.
And we’re still standing.

That is strength.

Now is the time to pick up your sword.
To fight for someone who matters—you.
Me. Us.

Dig deep.
Find your strength.
And use it to keep moving forward.

SLAY Reflection: Where Does Your Strength Live?

  1. Can you find your strength even when you feel weak?
    What helps you tap into it?
  2. Have you ever doubted your ability to push through?
    What got you through anyway?
  3. What are some moments in your life when your strength surprised you?
    How did they change you?
  4. Do you remember your past victories when facing something hard?
    How can those reminders serve you now?
  5. Who in your life needs a reminder of their strength?
    Can you share yours with them today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment when you found strength you didn’t know you had?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel strong right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Just Because You Make Mistakes Doesn’t Mean You Are A Mistake

We all make mistakes.
It’s how we grow. It’s how we learn.
Sometimes we learn to do things differently, and sometimes we simply learn that mistakes are just part of the process—an oops, not an identity.

But there’s a dangerous turning point many of us reach:
When we start to believe that we are the mistake.

That’s when mistakes stop being lessons and start becoming labels.
And when we internalize our failures, we block our own growth.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

The Trap of Perfectionism

When I was living in the dark, I believed I was a mistake.
Every time I messed up—even just a little—I used it as proof that I was broken, unworthy, or incapable.

I set impossibly high standards for myself, and when I didn’t meet them, I punished myself emotionally.

  • I beat myself up.
  • I questioned my worth.
  • I kept mental score of every misstep.

Perfection wasn’t just the goal—it was the requirement.
And every time I fell short, I used it as another reason to feel like I had failed at life.

The Permission to Mess Up

Everything changed when I got help.
I was told something I had never even considered:
It’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, it’s encouraged.

Mistakes meant I was trying.
Mistakes meant I was doing something new.
Mistakes meant I was taking action—even if the outcome didn’t go as planned.

That shift in thinking opened the door to something I hadn’t felt in a long time: freedom.

I stopped needing to be perfect and started focusing on being present.
I learned to ask, What can this mistake teach me? instead of, What does this say about me?

Listening to the Signs

Another thing I began to notice?
I made more mistakes when I wasn’t taking care of myself.

If I was tired, overwhelmed, underfed, or overworked—my errors increased.
And instead of blaming myself, I started seeing those slip-ups as signals.

  • Maybe I needed rest.
  • Maybe I needed better boundaries.
  • Maybe I needed to slow down.

Mistakes became more than just missteps—they became a check-in.
An opportunity to notice where I might be neglecting my own needs.

Mistakes That Lead to Magic

Here’s the other thing:
Some of my biggest mistakes?
They’ve led me to some of the most beautiful parts of my life.

If I hadn’t taken the wrong turn, I wouldn’t have found the right path.
If I hadn’t said yes when I probably should have said no, I wouldn’t have learned what a real yes feels like.

We don’t always know in the moment, but sometimes what we call a mistake is actually just a redirection.
A plot twist with a purpose.

The Only Real Mistake?

The only mistake you can make is not taking action because you’re afraid of failing.
Playing it safe. Holding back. Staying small. That’s where real regret grows.

Life isn’t about getting it right all the time.
It’s about trying.
Learning.
Adjusting.
And trying again.

Mistakes are just part of the road.
They’re not roadblocks. They’re guides.

And they are never who you are.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Learning?

  1. Do you tend to beat yourself up when you make a mistake?
    What does your inner voice sound like in those moments?
  2. Have any of your past mistakes led to something unexpectedly positive?
    What did you learn?
  3. What can you do to be more forgiving of yourself when you mess up?
    What would you say to a friend in your position?
  4. Are you holding back from taking action out of fear of making a mistake?
    What might shift if you gave yourself permission to just try?
  5. How can you begin turning your mistakes into tools for learning instead of weapons for self-punishment?
    What would change if you saw them as stepping stones instead of stop signs?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one mistake you’ve learned from—and how did it help you grow?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s being too hard on themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Become The Fears You Dwell On

Most of us have fears.
It’s part of being human.
But when we give too much focus and energy to fear, we risk becoming exactly what we fear most.

Fear can be sneaky like that. It creeps in, takes root, and grows stronger the more we feed it. Eventually, it can start to shape how we think, how we act, and even how we show up in the world—often without us even realizing it.

Fear can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What we focus on, we feed.
And what we feed, grows.

Fear Is an Invitation

I’ve written before about attracting the kind of energy we want in our lives.
When we live in fear—or negativity—that’s often what ends up circling back to us.

It’s not magic. It’s not instant karma.
It’s energy.
It’s focus.
It’s the silent agreement we make with our fears every time we let them lead.

When I was living in my illness, I was consumed by fear.
It was everywhere—under the surface of every thought, every decision.
And the more I ignored it, the more power it had.
I didn’t want to face it, so I tried to numb it, outrun it, distract myself from it.

But fear doesn’t disappear just because we look away.
It waits. It grows. And eventually, I started to become what I feared most.

When Fear Becomes Identity

I was aware of what was happening.
And still, I didn’t stop it.

I fed my fears with avoidance, with negative thinking, with silence.
And my fear evolved into a kind of paralysis—I couldn’t see a way out, and I wasn’t asking for one.

But then a different kind of fear showed up—the kind that keeps us safe.
The kind that whispers, “You can’t keep going like this.”
The kind that leads to action.

I was terrified of being judged, of being labeled “crazy,” of being too far gone to help.
But I was also terrified of where my life was headed if I didn’t get help.

And that good fear? It won.
I reached out.
I asked for help.
And for the first time, I found a door out.

Reclaiming Power Over Fear

I’ve learned that I don’t have to live in fear.
I still feel it, yes—because again, I’m human.
But I don’t live there anymore.

I’ve learned to acknowledge it when it shows up and then move through it.

Today, I focus on:

  • What I want to see in my life
  • What I hope for
  • What positive energy I can put into the world

I’ve built a spiritual connection that guides me and keeps me grounded.
I stay open to signs and nudges from the universe.
And I trust that fear is not something I have to surrender to.
It’s something I can listen to—but not let lead.

Use Fear as a Signal—Not a Sentence

Fear can be a compass.
Sometimes it points to the exact place where we need to do the most work.

Ask yourself:

  • What am I really afraid of?
  • What small action could I take to begin facing that fear?
  • What would it feel like to stop giving that fear so much power?

This is a challenging time.
But it’s also the perfect time to focus on the good you want to create—for yourself, for your family, for your life.

You don’t have to become what you fear.
You can choose something different.

You can choose to SLAY.

SLAY Reflection: How Are You Using Your Fear?

  1. Do you tend to live in fear or let fear guide your decisions?
    What are you most afraid of right now?
  2. Do you notice yourself becoming what you fear?
    What behaviors or beliefs might be feeding that?
  3. What action could you take today to work through your fear—just one small step?
    What would shift if you took it?
  4. How does fear affect your energy and mindset?
    What happens when you redirect your focus?
  5. How can you bring more positive action into your life today?
    Where can you reclaim your power?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one fear you’re ready to stop feeding, and what action can you take today to move through it?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in fear or letting it lead their life, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Live Between Always and Never

We often live life on autopilot.
We repeat the same routines, stick to the same beliefs, and follow the same patterns—not because they’re working, but because they’re familiar.

We tell ourselves this is just how we are.
We find comfort in the certainty of always and never.
But here’s the thing—certainty doesn’t always lead to progress.

I’ve written before about living in the gray, the in-between.
It’s in that space where change actually happens.
Where new ideas take root.
Where we make space for growth and possibility.

The middle is where transformation begins.

The Trap of Always and Never

Before I walked the path I’m on now, I was all about the extremes.
Always. Never.
I thought I knew what was best for me and I wasn’t interested in hearing otherwise.

I wasn’t happy—but I also wasn’t willing to change.

I stayed stuck. I stayed sick.
And I kept doing the same things over and over, expecting different results.

That wasn’t just frustrating—it was exhausting.
But it was also a product of my mindset.
I was clinging to always and never like a shield, and it was keeping me from moving forward.

The Power of Maybe

Everything began to shift when I allowed just a little room for maybe.

Maybe there’s another way.
Maybe I don’t know everything.
Maybe if I try something different, I’ll get a different result.

Recovery taught me that change only comes when you’re open to it.
I had to let go of the way I had always done things and be willing to try something new.

Was it uncomfortable? Yes.
Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Not everything I tried worked.
But trying was the point.
There were lessons in the failure—and confidence in the attempt.

Even now, I catch myself falling into that never mindset.
But I’ve learned to challenge it.
Because the best things in my life today?
They came from saying yes to something new.
From living in the middle.
From staying open.

Let Go of What’s Holding You Back

Stubbornness might feel like safety, but it often blocks growth.
It keeps us locked in patterns that no longer serve us.
It makes life smaller.

Living between always and never invites in the unknown—and yes, that can be scary.
But it also makes space for beauty, surprise, connection, and healing.

There’s a whole world you haven’t tried yet.
New waters to wade into.
New experiences that could change everything.

You’ll never know how warm the water is unless you take the first step in.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Open to the Middle?

  1. Do you tend to stick to the way you’ve always done things?
    What impact has that had on your life?
  2. Have you ever said no to something new—and later regretted it?
    What was the opportunity, and what did you learn?
  3. What parts of your life would you like to see change?
    Are you willing to try something different to make that happen?
  4. What are some small ways you could move away from always and never?
    How could you make room for maybe or I’ll try?
  5. What’s one thing you can say yes to today that pushes you out of your comfort zone?
    What could open up if you did?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment in your life when saying “maybe” instead of “never” led to something unexpected—or even life-changing?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in patterns that aren’t serving them, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Attract What You Are, Not What You Want

How many times have you asked yourself,
Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people?
Why do the same patterns keep showing up in my life?
Why does it feel like I’m stuck in a loop?

It’s easy to think we’re just unlucky—or cursed with bad timing or bad energy.
But the truth is often more revealing: we attract what we put out.

And sometimes, what we think we’re putting out…
isn’t what we’re actually radiating at all.

What You Are Speaks Louder Than What You Want

We might see ourselves as kind, supportive, open-hearted people.
We might aspire to positivity, confidence, love, and light.
But if our actions and mindset don’t align with that energy…
we’ll keep attracting something very different.

What shows up in your life isn’t a reflection of your intentions.
It’s a reflection of your state of being.

That’s the hard truth. And also the empowering one.

My Experience: Living in the Dark

When I was deep in my illness, I often wondered why negativity seemed to follow me.
I’d joke that I must’ve done something awful in a past life.

But it wasn’t the universe punishing me—it was me.
It was my thoughts.
My energy.
My expectations.
And my refusal to face how much negativity I was quietly living in.

I tried to be a good person.
I wanted good things.
But my inner dialogue was toxic.
Even when something good would happen, I’d sabotage it with fear, doubt, or shame.

I didn’t feel like a negative person.
But I was living like one.
And the results matched that energy.

You Can’t Fool the Energy Around You

When I began my recovery, I started to see the pattern clearly.

If I expected the worst—I got it.
If I looked for the bad—I found it.
If I pretended to be positive—but was silently drowning in self-judgment—it didn’t matter.
Because energy doesn’t lie.

It wasn’t enough to want better.
I had to become better.

When I did the work—honest, vulnerable, sometimes painful work—things began to shift.

More light came into my life.
More supportive people.
More peace.

Did negativity disappear? Of course not.
But I stopped being drawn to it—and it stopped being drawn to me.

Live It to Attract It

We don’t attract what we hope for.
We attract who we are.

So if the patterns in your life aren’t what you want, don’t just ask, “Why does this keep happening?”
Ask:
“What energy am I really putting into the world?”
“Am I living the way I want to be loved, supported, and respected?”

Because life doesn’t respond to who you say you are.
It responds to how you live.

When you align your heart, mind, and actions with who you want to become—
That’s when the shift happens.
That’s when the energy changes.
And that’s when the right people and opportunities begin to show up.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Attracting?

  1. Are you attracting people or situations that leave you feeling drained or dissatisfied?
    What patterns do you notice?
  2. What don’t you like about what’s showing up—and could it reflect something within you?
    How might your mindset or habits be contributing?
  3. Are you being honest with yourself about the energy you’re giving off?
    What might need to shift?
  4. What would it look like to live as the version of you you want to attract?
    What’s one step toward that today?
  5. How would your life change if you aligned your energy with your true values?
    What would start showing up?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you’ve made that changed what you were attracting into your life—and how did it impact you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who keeps wondering why the same patterns keep repeating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Reality Has Two Sides: The Grim and The Pleasant

Reality isn’t just one thing.
It’s not all light. It’s not all dark.
It lives in the in-between—where truth, growth, and resilience are found.

Sometimes, especially when the world feels heavy, we lean into one side more than the other.
We might cling to the positive and avoid anything unpleasant.
Or we might become so focused on the negative that we lose sight of anything good at all.

But true clarity comes from being able to hold both sides—
To acknowledge what’s difficult while still seeking what’s beautiful.

When Reality Felt Like a Trap

When I was deep in my illness, the word “reality” felt like a punishment.
I wanted to escape it as much as possible.
So I did—by distraction, by denial, by diving into anything that gave me a quick fix of false peace.

Substances, shopping, friendships, exercise—whatever would pull me away from the darkness I was living in.
But the darkness always found its way back in.
Because I wasn’t looking at life clearly.
I was stuck in a one-lens view of the world—and that view was grim.

Even when something good happened, I didn’t trust it.
I expected it to be taken away.
And in that fear, I would sabotage the very light I craved.

I thought life was cruel.
But in truth, I was stuck in a loop of my own perspective.

The Shift Begins with Perspective

When I made the commitment to seek help, one of the biggest lessons I had to learn was this:

Life is both beautiful and brutal.
It contains joy and pain.
Peace and discomfort.
Light and shadow.

If I wanted to heal, I couldn’t keep turning away from the parts I didn’t want to see.
I had to look at life for what it was—and stop trying to control it through avoidance or fantasy.

One of my mentors compared life to the ocean—always ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes calm, sometimes crashing, but never still.
Even the moments that feel still are part of the movement.

That metaphor saved me.
Because it reminded me that hard times do pass.
And the good times don’t need to be clung to—they’re part of a rhythm.

I didn’t need to hide from reality.
I needed to learn how to ride the waves.

Balance is Where Power Lives

It’s easy to fall into extremes.
To live in denial and pretend everything is fine.
Or to spiral into the darkness and believe everything is falling apart.

But when we live in one extreme, we lose our power.
We stop making intentional choices.
We stop growing.

Reality, in its most honest form, gives us space to do something.
To help others.
To show up for ourselves.
To feel our feelings, without letting them control us.
To face what’s hard and still reach for what’s good.

It’s not about pretending everything is fine.
And it’s not about assuming it never will be.

It’s about finding the balance between the grim and the pleasant—
and choosing to live with eyes open and a heart that stays willing.

SLAY Reflection: How Do You See the World?

  1. Do you tend to view life through only one lens—either the positive or the negative?
    Which one do you default to?
  2. How has that perspective affected your emotional or spiritual well-being?
    What have you gained—or lost—by living that way?
  3. What makes it uncomfortable to see both sides of reality?
    Where do you feel resistance?
  4. What would it look like to live in the in-between more often?
    How could that help you make more grounded decisions?
  5. How can you honor both your challenges and your joy this week?
    What small shift could move you toward balance?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve learned to live in the balance between the difficult and the beautiful—and how has it changed your relationship with reality?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to stay centered in uncertain times, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Take Yourself Off The Wheel

Nothing changes if nothing changes.
For years, I did the same things over and over again, expecting different results.
I thought if I kept applying the same approach—harder, louder, longer—somehow life would finally cooperate.

It didn’t.

Every time I repeated the same behavior, I got the same result.
The only thing that changed was how frustrated and exhausted I became.
And when I hit that familiar wall of fear, frustration, and anxiety, the noise in my head got louder—until it drowned out everything else.
I felt stuck. Paralyzed. Powerless.

But the truth?
I had the power all along.
It started with one bold choice: stepping off the wheel I’d been running on for years.

Change Is Uncomfortable—And That’s Okay

Change can feel scary.
Unfamiliar.
Uncomfortable.

Sometimes that discomfort makes us hesitate.
Other times, it’s self-sabotage in disguise—we tell ourselves it’s safer to stay where we are.
That we’re not capable of change.
That we don’t deserve it.
That nothing will really be different anyway.

But that’s a lie.
There is always a way out—or at least a better way forward.
We just have to be willing to take it.

Discomfort Means You’re Growing

If it feels uncomfortable, that’s probably a sign you’re doing the right thing.
It means you’re stepping into new territory.
It means you’re trying something different.
It means you’re finally breaking the cycle.

Change is rarely easy.
But staying stuck is harder.

What helped me most was shifting how I thought about change—not as something to fear, but as something that could bring growth, healing, and expansion.

We aren’t meant to stay where we are forever.
We’re meant to evolve.
To move forward.
To learn and grow.

And that means we have to be willing to do things differently, even when it feels awkward, messy, or uncertain.

The Power of a Single Step

Stepping off the wheel doesn’t require a perfect plan.
It just requires a step.

Even if the first thing you try doesn’t work, you’ll learn something.
That one step might be what sets everything else in motion.
The journey is the point—not just the outcome.

We are not victims of our circumstances.
We may not control every situation, but we can always control how we show up, how we respond, and what we’re willing to change.

Without that inner work, even if we move into new circumstances, we may find ourselves facing the same old patterns in a new setting.

Real change starts from the inside.

It’s Time to Get Off the Wheel

Change takes effort.
But that effort is an investment in you.
In your dreams.
In the life you want.
In the person you’re becoming.

Be willing.
Be curious.
Be brave enough to say yes to what’s new, even if it feels a little scary at first.

You’ve been running in circles long enough.
It’s time to stop the spin.
Jump off the wheel.
And walk forward—with purpose.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Ready to Do Things Differently?

  1. Do you find yourself resisting change?
    What feels uncomfortable or threatening about it?
  2. Are you happy with where you are in life?
    If not, what steps have you taken—or avoided—to shift it?
  3. What patterns have you repeated that no longer serve you?
    Why do you think you’ve stayed in them?
  4. What is one small change you can make today that would move you forward?
    What would it feel like to say yes to that?
  5. What truth are you avoiding because it would require change?
    And what freedom might be waiting on the other side?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve made—or know you need to make—to get off the wheel and create real momentum in your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a cycle they’re ready to break, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Examine What You Tolerate

I used to tolerate a lot.
From other people.
From myself.

I let things slide to avoid conflict.
I ignored red flags because I didn’t want to make waves—or because I was too emotionally and mentally exhausted to face the truth.
And so I allowed bad behavior to take up space in my life, even when it was actively hurting me.

But life isn’t meant to be tolerated.
It’s meant to be lived.
To be enjoyed.
To challenge us, to teach us, and to help us grow.

When we start making excuses for the people, places, and patterns in our lives just so we can “get through” them, we’re not being brave—we’re betraying ourselves.

Tolerating the Things That Keep Us Down

When I was living in the dark, I let most things go—unless I was looking for a fight.
And on the days I was angry at myself, I was often searching for someone else to blame.

I played the victim like it was my role in life.
I pointed fingers outward instead of inward.
And I tolerated behaviors in myself I knew deep down were harmful.

That was the first place I had to start when I began my recovery:
What was I tolerating in myself that was keeping me sick?

Justifying What Needs to Go

I had made excuse after excuse for the choices I was making.
One bad decision would snowball into another, and I would justify every one of them.

I ignored warning signs.
I surrounded myself with people and situations that reinforced my belief that I wasn’t worthy of more.
And I used those experiences as proof that I was a victim of life, rather than someone who had the power to change.

Even when good people showed up in my life, I didn’t know how to let them in.
I had grown more comfortable with pain than with peace.
And that realization was sobering.

From Tolerating to Choosing

As I got honest with myself, I began to see just how much of my pain I had been allowing.
And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

So I took a stand.

First with myself—by refusing to continue the behaviors that hurt me.
Then outward—by looking at every person, place, and pattern through the lens of self-love.

If it wasn’t helping me grow…
If it wasn’t rooted in respect, support, or truth…
It had to go.

Letting go wasn’t always easy.
But every goodbye made more space for peace.

The Practice of Daily Self-Respect

Even now, as life moves fast and new challenges arise, I have to keep checking in.
When I start tolerating things that don’t serve me, I feel it.
The darkness creeps back in.
The negative voices get louder.
And I know—it’s time to realign.

Self-love isn’t a one-time decision.
It’s a daily practice.
And part of that practice is examining what you’re tolerating—and having the courage to release what no longer honors you.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Still Tolerating?

  1. What have you been tolerating in your life that feels heavy, harmful, or out of alignment?
    Why are you still holding onto it?
  2. How have your own actions contributed to the pain or frustration you feel?
    What patterns need to be disrupted?
  3. Are there people or relationships in your life that take more than they give?
    What would it feel like to set boundaries—or let them go?
  4. What excuses have you made for staying in situations that don’t serve you?
    Where did those excuses come from?
  5. What would change if you stopped tolerating what hurts you—and started choosing what heals you?
    What’s the first step?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve tolerated for too long—and how are you ready to honor yourself by letting it go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s carrying things they no longer have to, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

When Nothing Goes Right, Go Left

We’ve all been there.
Those seasons when it feels like nothing is working.
Every door feels closed, every step feels heavy, and no matter how hard we try, it all seems to fall apart.

We hit wall after wall.
We get frustrated.
We start to wonder if it’s even worth the fight.

But maybe—just maybe—those walls are redirections.
Maybe those detours are trying to protect us, shift us, or move us toward something better.
Sometimes, when nothing is going right, it’s not about giving up… it’s about going left.

When I Refused to Pivot

Before I began walking the path I’m on now, I was stubborn.
I didn’t believe I deserved good things, so when something didn’t go as planned, it only reinforced the belief that I was a failure.
A part of me almost wanted things to go wrong—because that matched the internal narrative I had created.

I worked hard, but the second I met resistance, I would retreat.
I’d give up.
And then I’d use that failure as proof that life was against me.

I didn’t see roadblocks as opportunities to pivot.
I saw them as confirmation that I was doomed to fail.
I was stuck in a cycle of all-or-nothing thinking, ruled by ego, fear, and a refusal to try things a new way.

Recovery Taught Me to Turn

Recovery didn’t just teach me how to live—it taught me how to redirect.

I’ve learned that just because a path is blocked doesn’t mean the dream is wrong.
Sometimes we’re meant to pursue it another way.
Sometimes we’re meant to walk away.
And sometimes, we’re simply being taught patience and trust.

What changed for me was the realization that I don’t know everything.
There is a whole world of wisdom, experience, and guidance that exists beyond what I’ve lived or read.
And when I stopped trying to force life to bend to my will—and instead became open to its direction—everything started to shift.

Those dead ends?
They were saving me.
Those “no’s”?
They were leading me to something even better.

Redirection Isn’t Rejection

When we cling to one way, one plan, or one outcome, we miss out on the magic of life’s detours.
The universe might have something better in store—something we never could have imagined.
But to receive it, we have to be willing to loosen our grip.
To trust.
To be humbled.
And to follow the signs when they point in a new direction.

Today, when I hit a wall, I don’t panic.
I pause.
I regroup.
And I look for a new opening.

The goal might still be the same—but the route can change.

Don’t Stop—Just Shift

If you’re feeling discouraged, if you’re facing what feels like a dead end, don’t give up.
Go left.

Try a new approach.
Ask for help.
Take a risk.
Open your mind to the possibility that there’s another way—maybe even a better way.

You’re not being punished.
You’re being redirected.
And that redirection just might lead you to everything you’ve been working for… and more.

SLAY Reflection: How Do You Respond to Redirection?

  1. Do you tend to feel defeated when things don’t go your way?
    What’s your default reaction when you hit a wall?

  2. Can you think of a time when a dead end led you to something even better?
    What did that teach you?

  3. Are there goals you’ve abandoned that might just need a new approach?
    What could you try differently?

  4. How often does your ego get in the way of your progress?
    Where could you surrender a little more?

  5. What would it look like to trust life’s redirections instead of resisting them?
    Where is life possibly nudging you now?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one detour in your life that ended up being a blessing in disguise?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck or defeated, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

What You Do When No One Is Watching

We all have moments where we wear different masks. There’s the version of us the world sees—and then there’s the version that shows up when no one else is around. Ideally, these two should be one and the same. We should move through life with consistency, acting with honor and integrity whether eyes are on us or not. But let’s be honest: that’s not always what happens.

For many years, I was someone who acted differently when I thought I could get away with it. I wore my victimhood like armor, and when life didn’t go my way, I convinced myself it owed me something in return.

I remember being at the grocery store once when the cashier forgot to ring up an item in my cart. I noticed—but I said nothing. Instead, I walked out with it and told myself it was a win. A moment of justice. But deep down, I knew better. I was raised to know right from wrong. And I knew I’d crossed a line.

That item may have been free, but the guilt wasn’t. I carried it around, letting it reinforce the story that I was a bad person. And the more I let myself slide in little ways when no one was watching, the harder it became to hold onto any sense of self-worth.

We think we’re slick. We think we’re getting away with something. But we’re not. Because even if no one else sees it, we do.

A Shift in Integrity

When I committed to recovery and started learning to love myself, I had to reckon with the person I was when no one was watching. I had to confront the choices I’d made in secret and the ways I’d let myself down. And I had to stop.

I made a promise to myself: I would always act as if someone was watching.

Because someone was. Me.

And that meant doing the right thing—even when it was hard, even when it was inconvenient, and even when no one would ever know. Especially then.

Today, doing the right thing fills me with peace. It lifts me up. It affirms the person I’m becoming. I no longer carry the weight of guilt for the sake of a cheap win. Instead, I carry the quiet confidence that comes from living in alignment with my values.

I was once told: if you do something kind and the person finds out, it doesn’t count. Because the good deed isn’t about credit. It’s about character.

The Power of Quiet Character

In a world that rewards appearances, doing the right thing quietly, consistently, and without applause is an act of rebellion. It’s also an act of self-love.

Every time you choose honesty over deception, compassion over ego, and integrity over the easy way out—you build a life rooted in trust.

The next time you find yourself in a moment of choice, ask: What would I do if someone I deeply respect were watching me right now?

Then act from that place.

Because the truth is, the person who matters most is watching. And they live inside of you.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Who Are You When It’s Just You?

  • Do you behave the same way when no one is watching? If not, why?
  • What’s the cost of getting away with something? How does it sit with you later?
  • What values matter most to you? Are you living in alignment with them?
  • What’s one recent moment where you could’ve acted differently—and chose integrity instead?
  • How do you feel when you do the right thing, even if no one notices? What does that say about the person you’re becoming?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What does integrity look like in your everyday life—especially when no one else is watching?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s trying to realign with their values, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a quiet reminder of who we really are.