HEALING DOESN’T ALWAYS LOOK LIKE HARMONY
It can feel like you’re turning your back on everything familiar—but what if you’re turning the page instead?
Growth isn’t always gentle. Sometimes it’s loud. Sometimes it’s lonely. But choosing a new direction doesn’t mean rejecting your roots—it means rising from them.
You’re not abandoning your story.
You’re rewriting the ending.
SLAY on!
We spend so much of our lives chasing happiness, love, and the so-called “good vibes.” But what if the real key to alignment isn’t about always being joyful or even feeling loved? What if the most powerful shift we can make is to be authentic?
Because here’s the truth: authenticity is a higher vibration than joy and love.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
Energy doesn’t lie. And when you’re pretending, pleasing, or performing, your vibration lowers—even if you’re smiling through it.
Joy without truth is performative. Love without boundaries is self-abandonment.
Authenticity, however, is rooted in truth. It’s grounded in presence. It’s the real you. And when we operate from that space, we emit the clearest, most powerful frequency we have. We show up aligned—and everything around us responds to that.
There was a time when I thought I had to look happy to be happy. Smile through the pain. Be grateful when I was struggling. Be kind even when I was breaking.
But fake it ‘til you make it can only take you so far.
The day I stopped trying to be perfect and started being real—everything changed. People connected more deeply with me. My relationships became healthier. I became healthier. Because I wasn’t trying to stay high-vibe. I was trying to stay real.
And that is the vibe the universe actually responds to.
When we give ourselves permission to be real, we invite others to do the same. We create safety. We foster trust. We show others what it looks like to live in truth, not performance.
Authenticity says:
And that is where true love and joy can actually take root. Not in the performance of being okay—but in the truth of being whole.
Being authentic doesn’t mean sharing everything or letting your emotions run unchecked. It means showing up honestly.
It means:
It means being clear about who you are—and being okay with the fact that not everyone will get it. Because your alignment matters more than approval.
Your truth has its own frequency. When you live it, you attract what’s meant for you. You repel what isn’t. You stop chasing and start receiving.
Authenticity isn’t a trend. It’s a vibration.
And the more you live it, the more powerful you become. Not because you’re trying to be powerful—but because there’s nothing stronger than someone who is fully themselves.
SLAY Reflection
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Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Where in your life are you ready to get real?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s stuck in performance mode, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.
Let’s be honest: some days happiness wraps around you like a warm blanket. Other days, it’s a threadbare flag you have to raise yourself, even when the wind isn’t blowing.
Sometimes, happy arrives uninvited. A smile you didn’t expect. A moment of peace. Laughter that catches you by surprise. These are the days when joy feels natural. Effortless. When your heart feels light and your worries take a back seat. These are the days you wish you could bottle.
But what about the other days? The days when you wake up heavy, when your body aches with exhaustion, when your mind is cluttered and your heart is a storm cloud? What then?
That’s when happy becomes a choice. And yes, sometimes, it’s the hardest choice you can make.
We all have seasons where happiness seems to bloom everywhere—inside us and around us. These are the easy days. The ones where gratitude feels automatic, and your smile is real. And when those moments show up?
Let them.
Don’t question the joy. Don’t wait for the other shoe to drop. Let yourself feel good without guilt. You don’t have to earn happiness for it to be valid. It’s not a reward, it’s a gift. And you are allowed to receive it, just because you exist.
Too many of us hesitate to feel joy because we’re afraid it won’t last. But here’s the truth: happiness isn’t permanent, but it is powerful. And when it comes naturally, lean in. Let it soak into your skin.
And then there are the other days.
The days when happy feels like a stranger.
That’s when you make the choice to reach for it anyway. You choose to smile. To take a walk. To text a friend. To wash your hair. To play a song that makes you sway just a little. To say thank you, even when you’re not quite feeling it.
This isn’t toxic positivity. This is resilience. This is saying, “I know I feel low, but I’m going to plant the seeds of joy anyway.” And over time, those seeds bloom.
Happiness isn’t about denying what hurts. It’s about refusing to let the hurt define the whole day.
Here’s a powerful truth: you don’t have to settle. Not for a life that keeps you stuck. Not for a mindset that keeps you small. You are allowed to chase joy. To design a life that feels good on the inside, not just one that looks good from the outside.
And when you can’t find it? You can choose it. You can create it.
Even if that looks like a slow morning with coffee and quiet.
You are not failing if you have to fight for your happiness. That’s not weakness. That’s strength.
Sometimes happy is a breeze. Sometimes it’s a battle.
And sometimes, it’s a little bit of both.
Either way, you have the power to feel it, create it, or reach for it. You don’t have to wait for life to feel perfect before you allow yourself to be happy. Let it show up in small ways. Invite it in. And when it comes, don’t push it away.
You are allowed to feel good. You are allowed to choose good. You are allowed to live a life that includes joy.
Even on the hard days.
SLAY Reflection
S-L-A-Y:
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What does choosing happiness look like for you right now?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel joy, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.
For much of my life, I tried to be who they told me to be.
The “they” was everywhere—teachers, parents, partners, bosses, social media, society. Each one had a version of me they preferred. I wore those versions like outfits, hoping one of them would finally feel like me. But deep down, I always knew: I was playing a part written by someone else.
Every time I molded myself to fit their expectations, I lost another piece of who I was. I became quieter when they said I was too much. I smiled when I wanted to cry. I said yes when everything inside me screamed no.
I wanted to be accepted so badly, I started rejecting myself.
Eventually, I reached a breaking point. I was exhausted. Not from being myself, but from not being myself. I had no idea who I was anymore—but I knew I couldn’t keep pretending. That was the first step.
To find my true self, I had to unlearn the lies I’d been told:
None of that was me. It was who they needed me to be so they could be comfortable.
But I wasn’t born to make other people comfortable.
So I started letting go. I peeled back the layers of conditioning, people-pleasing, and perfectionism—and underneath, I found someone real. Someone strong. Someone worth knowing.
Choosing to be yourself—your real self—isn’t always easy. It might upset people. It might confuse them. It might even mean walking away from relationships or roles that no longer fit.
But becoming who you truly are is the most powerful act of self-love there is.
Every time you choose authenticity over approval, you build a life that actually feels like yours. And trust me, there is nothing more freeing than that.
You don’t have to be who they told you to be. You get to decide who you are.
SLAY Reflection
S-L-A-Y:
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What part of yourself are you reclaiming today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s stuck in a role they never chose, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Truth Without Testing
We often accept the thoughts we think every day as truth—without ever asking where they came from or if they’re even real.
But your dominant assumptions are more than thoughts.
They’re blueprints, quietly sculpting how you see yourself… and how you show up in the world.
If you never stop to question the story, you might keep building a life on someone else’s beliefs.
This is your reminder to pause, get curious, and challenge what you’ve been living on autopilot.
Your mind is listening.
Make sure it’s following a truth that’s actually yours.
SLAY on!
Some days the light feels far away. You’re tired, uncertain, questioning whether you have it in you to keep going. But this is when the shift begins—not by chasing the light, but by standing still in the dark and facing what’s there.
Healing doesn’t just happen in the light—it begins the moment you stop running from your shadows and decide to meet yourself in the dark.
You won’t find the light by avoiding the dark. You’ll find it by healing your way through it. The light isn’t the starting point—it’s the result. It’s the reward. The proof that you met yourself, did the work, and rose from what tried to hold you down.
This is your reminder to meet yourself where you are—your healing is the key to the light.
True healing doesn’t come from the people who caused the pain.
It comes when you stop looking for closure, validation, or understanding from those who never had the capacity to give it.
Let this be a reminder to reclaim your power—and choose peace on your own terms.
Why are we always so hard on ourselves?
We hold ourselves to impossible standards, judge our every move, and then wonder why we feel stuck, small, and not good enough.
We speak to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to someone else—calling ourselves idiots, failures, brain-dead, or worse.
And we may not even realize we’re doing it.
That inner dialogue becomes so automatic, so embedded in our thinking, that the jabs feel normal.
But they’re not.
And worse—they’re harmful.
Those words don’t just disappear.
They settle into our energy, into our nervous system, into the way we show up in the world.
And over time, they become the very thing that holds us back from becoming who we are meant to be.
Before I began my journey in recovery, I judged myself constantly.
Nothing I did was ever “good enough.”
Even when I succeeded, I’d discredit it—call it luck, minimize the achievement, or immediately nitpick what wasn’t perfect.
My expectations were so high, they were built to break me.
And they did. Over and over.
The voice in my head wasn’t just critical—it was cruel.
It kept me sick. It convinced me I’d never be enough. It told me to give up before I even tried.
And I believed it.
I lived inside that mental prison for years.
I’d get these little bursts of self-confidence, moments where I felt like maybe I could do something great.
But the voice always returned—louder, meaner, and more persuasive.
It was a cycle that drained me and kept me from healing.
When I finally made the decision to seek help, one of the first things I had to face was my own thinking.
I had to get honest about the way I spoke to myself.
And what I discovered?
I had become my own worst bully.
If anyone else had said the things I said to myself, I never would have stood for it.
So why was I allowing it to happen in my own mind?
That realization changed everything.
I began to:
And slowly, something started to shift.
The voice got quieter.
The harsh words faded.
And I started to celebrate myself—for real.
No one gets it right all the time.
We all make mistakes.
We all fall short sometimes.
But that doesn’t mean we’re failures.
It means we’re human.
Mistakes are how we grow.
They help us refine our goals, improve our preparation, and get clearer on what we really want.
And when you set realistic goals—ones that allow for learning, flexibility, and growth—you give yourself a chance to succeed.
Even the smallest win becomes a reason to celebrate.
You are not the voice in your head that tells you you’re not enough.
You are not your mistakes.
You are not your worst day.
You are a work in progress—a beautiful, evolving human being.
And your job is not to be perfect.
Your job is to keep going.
So speak to yourself with kindness.
Encourage yourself like you would a best friend.
Celebrate every step, every shift, every bit of progress.
You’re doing better than you think.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one negative thing you’ve told yourself that you’re ready to replace with kindness?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling with self-judgment, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
For most of us, there’s been a time when we’ve hit bottom.
And for many of us, there have been many.
But just because you find yourself at a bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.
In fact, sometimes hitting bottom can be the very thing that propels you upward—it can be a turning point, a wake-up call, a catalyst for change.
What matters most is that you recognize it as a bottom.
And then decide you’re not going to live there.
Looking back, I had many bottoms before I hit the one that finally brought me to my knees.
There were so many moments I should have asked for help…
So many warning signs I ignored…
So many nights I let myself spiral deeper into darkness.
But the truth is: we’re ready when we’re ready.
And if we’re lucky, we get that one moment—the one where something shifts, where the fear becomes too loud to ignore, and we finally ask for help.
For me, that moment came from fear.
Fear of where my mental illness had taken me.
Fear of where it might take me next.
I don’t know why that particular night was different.
There were many terrifying nights before it.
But that night, I got scared enough to pick up the phone.
And in doing so, I opened the door to my own recovery.
There’s a saying I love:
“You don’t have to ride the truck all the way to the dump.”
You can get off at any time.
Even in the darkest place, even at your lowest, you have a choice.
You always have the option to get off the path that’s dragging you down.
But you have to believe that it’s possible.
And you have to take action.
When I was deep in my illness, I felt powerless.
Like I was strapped to a runaway train.
But that wasn’t true.
I always had a ticket off that train.
And the moment I picked up the phone and asked for help, I used it.
That one action—speaking my truth—shifted everything.
I didn’t have all the answers yet.
I still had work to do.
But the secret I had been carrying was out.
The weight I had been holding got lighter.
And for the first time, I realized I was in control of my recovery.
It’s so important to notice your bottoms.
To recognize when you’ve fallen harder than usual.
To acknowledge when you’re staying down longer than you want to.
Because that moment of awareness?
That’s the moment you can begin to rise.
We all fall.
We all struggle.
But no one has to stay in the pit.
Freedom starts with acceptance.
The willingness to see where you are—and the courage to choose something better.
A bottom doesn’t have to be the end of your story.
It can be the beginning of your comeback.
A bottom might just be the biggest blessing in disguise.
It might be the one thing that finally gets your attention.
The one thing that cracks you open.
The one thing that forces you to stop, reflect, and change direction.
You don’t have to stay down.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone by suffering longer.
Your story is still being written.
And a bottom can be the moment you choose a new chapter.
Use it to rise. Use it to SLAY.
Has a past bottom ever helped you grow or pivot in a new direction?
How can you use that lesson now?
Have you ever hit a bottom in your life?
What were the signs? What did it feel like?
Have you hit multiple bottoms?
What made the most recent one different?
Are you currently in a bottom?
If so, what are you doing about it—or avoiding?
What’s holding you back from asking for help or making a change?
What could shift if you took just one small step?
I’d love to hear from you.
What helped you recognize a bottom in your life—and what did you do to rise from it?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling to climb out of a hard place, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
It may sound impossible at times, but in those moments when we feel our weakest, we must dig deep and find our strength.
There have been countless times in my life where I’ve had to rely on an inner strength I didn’t even realize I had. Somehow, just enough rose to the surface to help me push through.
We are all stronger than we think.
And when I take a moment to reflect on everything I’ve overcome, I’m reminded of the strength and courage that carried me.
It helps me in the present.
It prepares me for the future.
Because true strength often reveals itself when everything feels like it’s falling apart.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
Looking back on my lowest points, I can admit—I didn’t always use my strength.
There were times I believed I was weak.
Times I gave in to the idea that I was broken or not worth saving.
I had flickers of power, brief moments of energy and clarity, but they’d fade. And that negative voice in my head? It would rush in, louder than ever.
That inner strength—the warrior in me—it was there.
But some days, that sword felt too heavy to lift.
There was one day in particular when I came dangerously close to surrendering.
I was at my lowest. But even then, there was a whisper of strength left inside me.
It wasn’t loud.
It wasn’t flashy.
But it was just strong enough to reach out, to ask for help, to cry for help.
And that moment changed everything.
That quiet strength was enough to rally.
Enough to begin my fight back.
For me, strength isn’t about pushing through everything without feeling.
It’s about showing up—even when it’s hard.
My strength lives in the inner warrior that walks beside me.
It’s the part of me that shields the most vulnerable parts inside.
My strength is spiritual.
It’s rooted in a connection to something greater than myself—a belief that I’m held, even when I’m hurting.
It’s also built from experience:
I also surround myself with people who reflect that strength back to me.
People who remind me who I am when I forget.
And I do the same for them.
Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s light until we remember our own.
I’ve learned that strength isn’t something you “find” once and then never lose.
It’s a practice. A choice. A mindset.
I know now that:
And there’s always a small spark inside me—a flame that never goes out, no matter how dark it gets.
That’s what carries me.
That’s what keeps me standing.
And that’s what I want to help you find too.
We all have strength.
Even if it feels buried. Even if it’s been challenged.
Even if it’s quiet.
If this past year has shown us anything, it’s that we’re still here.
We’ve survived more than we thought we could.
We’ve made it through dark seasons, tough days, and hard truths.
And we’re still standing.
That is strength.
Now is the time to pick up your sword.
To fight for someone who matters—you.
Me. Us.
Dig deep.
Find your strength.
And use it to keep moving forward.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment when you found strength you didn’t know you had?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel strong right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
