Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it, keep fighting, always.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Wounds And Wisdom

Freedom Fighter

When we’re sitting in the dark we may dream of a hero swooping in to save us, a superhero, of sorts, who understands us and shows us the way out. Someone who can fix things and make everything better. Someone who will bring light into our darkness and use that light to show us the way. What we don’t understand when we’re in the darkness is that we are that hero, we have the power to save ourselves and we are our own superhero, we need to fight for our freedom and be a freedom fighter!

When I was living in the darkness I thought my life was hopeless. I didn’t see a way out and my head told me everyday that there was only one way out, to end my suffering. Because I wasn’t sharing those thoughts with anyone I believed what my head told me, I thought it was the truth. It wasn’t. I was blessed with another freedom fighter coming into my life who shared his truth with me, and the story of his fight into the light. It seemed like an incredible story, and it remained just that for months as I continued my downward spiral into my deep pit of darkness. On a particularly dark night that story suddenly rang true for me. For the first time I identified with the before part of the story, what it had been like for my friend, I saw myself in that story and that was the tiny bit of hope I needed to pick up my sword and start my journey as a freedom fighter, a fighter who was fighting for my own freedom.

You see, no one else can truly save us if we aren’t willing to save ourselves. Now, I’ve had a lot of help along with the way from some very amazing freedom fighters who have shown me the way, and I still have many in my life, and it’s important to me to light the way for others so that they might find the freedom fighter in themselves.

My sword, when I started, wasn’t nearly as mighty, in fact, many days I questioned whether I could pick it up at all, but I did, I used all my strength, even if I could only get it an inch off the ground, but I did it, and each day that sword got a little easier to carry, and then some days it got heavy again, and still does from time to time, but now I’ve got many years of carrying that sword under my belt, and I know, no matter how heavy it feels, it’s there, and I have the strength to pick it up, and if I still doubt that, I have many other freedom fighters around me to remind me, or, if I need it, to help me lift that sword.

We have the power to save ourselves at any given time. We may not know how, or why, or if we really can, but if we believe, even a little, that tiny bit of light may cause us to reach out for help, and that tiny bit of light may give us hope, and that hope may propel us to take action, any action, that will set us on a trajectory of blinding light. We just need to pick up our sword, even if we have to drag it at first, and find the other freedom fighters in our lives who lend us their strength as we fight the most important battle of our lives, the fight for our own freedom. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you know that you have the power to save yourself from the darkness? You do SLAYER. Even if that power is picking up a phone, or sending a message, or chatting with someone, you have the power to let some light in and possibly some hope. You have that light inside of you. You may have buried it under a lot of darkness, but it’s still there if you dig deep down and find it. I know because if it wasn’t there you wouldn’t be reading this right now. You wouldn’t be open to finding your own freedom fighter within. You wouldn’t be standing next to me in this path, and yet, here you are. You have it in you SLAYER, I don’t doubt you, even if you doubt yourself, know that I believe in you and until you can pick up your sword yourself, know that there are many of us here who will help you hold it high, until one day you can use it to tear down your darkness and let the light in.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You don’t have to fight every battle. You don’t have to respond to every critic.. You don’t have to be offended by what others say. You can simply walk away.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Argument

Let Your Heart Shine

We lost a bright star yesterday. As I was in the air, traveling, my Uncle passed away. I’ve spoken about him before, on SLAY TALK LIVE, he had been battling cancer for the past 9 years, and yesterday he found his rest from that battle. What I will carry with me moving forward, and forever in my heart, is how he changed when he was first diagnosed. I imagine a cancer diagnoses must feel like a death sentence, that immediate shock and the reality setting in, although there are many survivors, some of whom I count as friends, but it would be easy to feel defeated, or to retreat from life when you feel like perhaps you don’t have much of it left to live. My Uncle Mel, was not one of those people.

He didn’t have an easy life, and he wasn’t always the man I came to know during his fight, that is the miraculous thing about Uncle Mel, he allowed something that could easily perceived as negative and let it turn him into someone so full of light, so full of love, and he let it fill him with such a desire and drive to make other people’s days brighter, that I believe, it kept him going, for years, as he continued to fight various forms of cancer. I always called him a superhero, and he would laugh, he would say, “I’m just doing what the good Lord shows me to do.” He had a strong faith, and it was that faith that he relied on as his journey was coming to an end. He found a peace with it, and made the most of his time here with us all.

He said this to me a number of times, but the last time we spoke he said that I had permission to tell his story, to share who we was, because it might help someone else. So, today, as I write this with tears in my eyes, I know it’s important to do just that, for me, for anyone who may need it, and for him.

I look at his journey and it reminds me that even in the face of adversity we can still share our light and our heart. We always have something to offer to someone who may be sicker, or feeling even lower than we do, or who just might need a friend. No matter where we are, we always have value, and have the ability to share our best selves. My Uncle never became his best self, I believe, until he started to share it, until he started to give away the light he had to give and was able to light the way for many others as they walked in their own struggle, or darkness. I believe that fire, that light, is what kept him going the past 9 years, and it lit the way for many others.

I talk a lot here at STATE OF SLAY of holding a torch for one another, so when we may find ourselves in the dark, there is always a light to find your way home. I believe that because Uncle Mel held his torch for so many, that yesterday, he saw that light and made his way home.

We have a choice, each day, to live our lives in the darkness, or to shine bright, and it may feel safer in the dark, especially if that is all we’ve known, or we feel we don’t deserve the light, but we are meant to be in the light, not only for ourselves, but so we can share it with others, and when we do not only do we bring light to those around us, but our light gets brighter. I know there will be a bright star shining in the night sky tonight, and that star is my Uncle, his star will continue to shine from above, lighting the way for us here, and as a reminder when we look up, that there is something beautiful up there, watching over us in the darkness of the night. Shine on my SLAYERS!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you allow yourself to shine or do you dim that shine? If you do dim your shine, why do you do that? How does it help you? How does it hurt you? How can you share that light with someone in your life who may need it? Write down a time when you may have felt you had nothing to offer, but were able to make someone’s day brighter. How did that make you feel? Did you feel brighter? You did, didn’t you SLAYER? Always let your light shine, even if it’s just a small flicker of a flame, when you share that flame with someone else, that flame starts a fire, and warms all who are within it’s reach. SLAY on!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Never Give Up

I’m spending the weekend with two beautiful souls and have gotten into some lengthy conversations about our stories, our journeys and what has brought us to where we are. Each of us has had a bumpy road, some of the bumps unique to each of us, but many we share in the commonality of having overcome them. As we’ve talked and shared it has brought up emotions, memories, parts of our lives, ourselves, we haven’t thought of for a while, or perhaps buried deep, but as we share from the places we are today, the other side of that turmoil, those challenges, the struggles, it is a reminder to never give up.

I almost did. I thought giving up was the only way to make the pain stop. To end my suffering. I let the darkness wash over me, consume me, and once I had let it take control, that was all I could see. I was a fighter, I was proud of what I had overcome in my life, I thought of myself as a warrior, but at some point my sword just got to heavy, and because I was not sharing my battles with anyone else, it ultimately was a fight I couldn’t fight alone, it was too powerful and the fight too long. I hated the idea of giving up and fought with every last bit of energy I had left before realizing that the one thing I was afraid to do, share my truth, was what was going to save me.

No one can do this alone. We’re not meant to. We each bring strength where others are weak, we each bring knowledge where others may lack it, together we are stronger. We  hold each other up when one of us has fallen, we lift each other up when we don’t have the strength to do it ourselves, and we remind each other to, above all else, never give up, because we are right there fighting with them.

There are so many warriors out there, more than you know, our heads will tell us no one cares, that everyone is to busy, that we don’t matter, but that’s a lie, we are all out here waiting to take action, we just don’t know we’re needed many times unless we are asked to. Sure, we can see when a soldier is down, but we can’t pick them up if they’re not wanting to get up, or don’t tell us that can’t do it on their own. It is up to each and every one of us to ask, to reach out, to take the action necessary to trigger us into action, because we will come, we will come in droves.

Every life is worth fighting for. Every person, every soul is special. Each of us has special gifts we can share and contribute, and if you don’t know what yours are, we’ll tell you. We know. We can see them, and appreciate them, we appreciate you.

Having walked through the darkness, having fought my way out of the pit of despair, I can tell you, it can be done, it wasn’t easy, it took a lot of work, and I didn’t do it alone. When I reached out for help, when I spoke my truth, there was an abundance of help around me, and more support than I could have imagined. The trick is to ask. To walk through the fear of sharing my story, my truth. To not listen to the voices that told me  not to.

Own who are you in this moment, and know that that is not who you have to be, you have the power to change your story, right here, right now. Never give up, always keep fighting, there is something great waiting on the other side of that battle. How do I know? I’m writing this from that side. Please, come and join me. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you suffer in silence? Why do you do that? Why don’t you reach out? Is your answer based in fact or the story you’ve been told or have crafted? Have you chosen the right people to surround yourself with? If not, find those people, look for people who are walking the path you want to be on. Find the people who are willing to help. They are out there. Sometimes it takes more than one try, don’t let that one no keep you in the dark. Keep looking, searching, they’re there, we’re here. Are you afraid of getting better? Do you think you deserve to get better? If not, why not? You do. You deserve to be your best you, to shine bright, to live in the light, don’t listen to people, or you if you’re telling yourself that. Fight. Find the light, even if it’s just a little spec on the ground, go to it, find it, hold on to it, that is enough to start. Share your truth, let the darkness out, and the light in, we’re all here to light the way.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Not every battle can be won. Not every battle is your battle to fight. The only battle that is worth fighting is the battle in your mind that tells you it’s your right to be right, even when the battle has nothing to do with you.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Distraction

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Don’t throw yourself into someone else’s battle, all you do is catch their bullets while they enjoy the scenery.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Battle

A Special Anniversary

Good morning SLAYER! Today is a special day. Today is the day 12 years ago I picked up the phone and reached out for help. Today is a Birthday of sorts. The first day I started living my life for me, the first day I starting fighting for me, and not against me. Today is the anniversary of the day I decided to live, that I decided I was going to change my story, that I was going to pick up my sword and SLAY, and even though my sword was wobbling, and it’s heaviness took all my strength, I stood up and carried it forward, so that I could show myself my strength, and to show all of you it can be done.  You too can pick up your sword and fight for yourself. You are worth it, as am I, and together we walk this path together, ready to battle anything. SLAY on!

I am really proud to share my story and to be a part of Kaaran Singh’s project PEOPLE – Every Portrait Tells A Story. A project about sharing our true selves, and, what we are most grateful for. This seemed like the perfect day to share this with all of you.  http://www.kaaransingh.com/people/

Carrie Genzel — Kaaran Singh

Photography: Kaaran Singh