Solidarity In Solitude

There was a time when solitude wasn’t something I chose—it was something I used to survive.
Before recovery, I isolated myself because I was afraid of being seen. Not seen in the beautiful, vulnerable, soul-baring way—but seen in the truth-revealing way. I was scared someone would notice the mess I had become.

So, I disappeared. I self-quarantined long before the world made it a shared experience. I believed I was safer alone, but really, I was hiding—from you, from judgment, and mostly, from myself.

It’s been over 14 years since I spoke my truth and reached for help, but during global moments of isolation—when the world closes its doors—I can still feel echoes of those darker days. I remember what it was like to live in solitude and mistake it for safety.


When Solitude Turns to Isolation

Solitude can be healing. But left unchecked, it can slip into something more dangerous: isolation.
When routines fall away, when connection fades, and when fear rises—our minds can convince us we’re better off alone. That no one wants to hear from us. That we’re too much, or not enough.

Sound familiar?

In times like these, it’s easy to slide down the emotional spiral. To disconnect. To feel like you’re the only one struggling. But that’s a lie the darkness tells us. Because you are not alone. And you are not the only one who feels this way.

We’ve all lost something—our routines, our rhythm, sometimes even loved ones. We’re all navigating this new version of life with uncertainty in our hearts. And yet, in the stillness, there’s a new kind of connection forming. One that doesn’t require proximity—but vulnerability.


The Power of Reaching Out

Connection doesn’t always have to look big. Sometimes, it’s a text. A check-in. A voice memo that simply says, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you.”

For me, reaching out is part of my daily practice. It’s tied to my recovery and to my ability to stay grounded. On days when I’m struggling, being of service—asking someone else how they’re doing—pulls me out of my head and into something greater than myself.

When we shift our attention from our own anxiety to someone else’s experience, we gain clarity. We create space for compassion. And we remember: we’re never really alone.

You don’t need a grand gesture to make a difference. Sometimes just asking “How are you really?” is enough to change someone’s day. And, maybe, your own.


Solitude as a Shared Experience

Something beautiful has happened during times of collective pause: we’ve reached for one another. We’ve shared our fears, our frustrations, our funny moments. We’ve created art, music, stories—and sent them out like lifeboats into the unknown.

We’ve remembered what matters most: people. Connection. Empathy. And in this shared stillness, we’ve found solidarity.

We’re walking forward—not hand in hand, but heart to heart. And though we may be separated by space, our spirits remain side by side.

We were never meant to do this alone. Not healing. Not grieving. Not growing.


We Are Stronger Together

When we choose to stay connected—even in the smallest ways—we create a safety net. We tether ourselves to something real. And if one of us starts to drift, there’s someone who will notice. Someone who will reach back and say, “You’ve been quiet. Are you okay?”

That’s the power of community. That’s the gift of solidarity.

So, if you’ve been isolating—whether out of fear, shame, exhaustion, or uncertainty—I want to remind you that connection is still available. Right now. Today.

Open a window. Wave at your neighbor. Call a friend. Join an online support group. Say hi in the comments. Let someone know you’re here.

Because when we reach for one another, solitude becomes strength. And our solitude becomes solidarity.


SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect, SLAYER:

  • S: Have you been staying connected or isolating lately? What do you notice about that?

  • L: What fears come up for you when you think about reaching out?

  • A: Who could you check in on today, even just with a short message or call?

  • Y: What does community mean to you, and how can you stay more present in it—even from a distance?


Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How are you staying connected, or where are you struggling to reach out?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s isolating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Balance is the key to everything. What we think, do, say, eat, feel, they require awareness, and through this awareness we can grow.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Who You Are

Be Informed, Not Consumed

When the world feels uncertain, it’s natural to search for answers. We scroll, click, refresh—hoping that one more headline will bring us peace. But more often than not, the opposite happens. We become consumed.

In times of crisis, fear drives us to seek control. And in today’s world, control often looks like consuming as much information as possible. With news available 24/7, alerts pinging constantly, and social media spinning every story into a wildfire—it’s easy to lose ourselves in the noise.

Staying informed is important. But there’s a difference between being informed and being overwhelmed. There’s a line where knowledge becomes anxiety, and awareness turns into obsession. If we want to stay grounded, present, and well—we have to learn how to navigate that line.


When the Need to Know Becomes Too Much

Before I began this journey of healing and self-awareness, I didn’t know where that line was. When national tragedies or global emergencies happened, I’d get hooked. I’d sit in front of the news for hours, scroll endlessly, and tell myself, “I just need to stay updated.”

But the more I consumed, the more I spiraled. I wasn’t calming my fear—I was feeding it.

And here’s what I’ve learned: when I don’t check in with myself, when I don’t have balance in my day, my mind will find the darkness. If I give my energy to fear-based media or worst-case-scenario stories, that part of my brain that wants to spiral takes over—and fast.


We See What We Seek

It’s true: we find what we’re looking for.

If we’re looking for fear, we’ll find fear. If we’re looking for anger, grief, chaos—we’ll find it, and then some. But if we make the choice to seek calm, hope, and positivity, we’ll start to notice those stories too.

Our perception is shaped by what we consume and who we surround ourselves with. The news we follow, the conversations we engage in, the content we share—it all matters. It all shapes our internal world.

That’s why I’ve learned to set boundaries. I limit the content I consume. I check my sources. And then, I require balance: something that feeds my mind, something that fuels my body, and something that lifts my spirit.

When I follow that formula, I feel grounded. I feel like me.


Information Is a Tool—Not a Lifestyle

In this 24-hour news cycle, information never stops. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep consuming it nonstop.

Just because it’s available doesn’t mean it’s healthy. We don’t need to know everything in real-time. We don’t have to refresh the feed to feel in control. Sometimes, turning the news off is the healthiest decision we can make.

Information should support you—not suffocate you. It’s meant to help you make informed decisions for your life and your family. But it should never be the thing that consumes your energy, time, or peace.


Take the Break You Deserve

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or hopeless—it might be time to check in.

Ask yourself:

  • How much news have I consumed today?

  • Have I moved my body?

  • Have I taken a deep breath?

  • Have I laughed, reached out to someone, or stepped outside?

The news will still be there when you get back. But your peace needs to be protected now.

Take the break. Put the phone down. Fold up the paper. Let your mind rest. Engage with your life—your real, tangible, beautiful life.


SLAY Reflection

Let’s check in together, SLAYER:

  • S: Do you find yourself consumed by news or social media during difficult times?

  • L: How does this impact your mental, emotional, and physical health?

  • A: What’s one boundary you can set today to create more balance?

  • Y: What can you add into your daily routine to feed your spirit and shift your focus back to the present?


Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How are you protecting your peace while staying informed?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling overwhelmed by the noise, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

SLAY TALK LIVE Video

Hey SLAYER! Thank you to those who joined me today for an hour of SLAY TALK LIVE, for those who couldn’t join us, here’s what you missed!

SLAY on!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The waters may be rough, but it’s our choice whether we succumb to the waves or learn to surf.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Calm Sea

How Does This Make Us Better?

Every challenge carries a choice. It can break us—or it can shape us.

Some of the hardest moments in my life are also the ones that changed me the most. Even the night I nearly lost my life—by all accounts, a night I shouldn’t have survived—eventually became a turning point. That experience didn’t just shake me, it redefined me. Not instantly, and not without pain, but over time, it became the spark for something more.

At first, I didn’t feel lucky to be alive. I felt guilty. I questioned whether my life was worth saving. What had I done to deserve another chance? Was I doing enough with the life I had?

But as I worked through the survivor’s guilt, something shifted. I began to see the opportunity in front of me—not just to live, but to give back. To take stock of my life. To use my pain for purpose.

And that’s what ultimately inspired me to create this blog—to take the hardest parts of my journey and turn them into a light for someone else.


The Darkness Doesn’t Last Forever

When you’re in the middle of it—whatever it is—it’s hard to imagine things getting better.

I remember thinking the darkness was permanent. That I’d never see light again. I hid. I shut down. I told myself if I admitted how bad things were, people would think I was broken.

But that wasn’t true.

The truth is, it took someone else shining their light to help me find my own. One person shared their story. One person reached out. And that small gesture gave me just enough hope to believe that maybe—just maybe—things could change.

Fighting my way out took honesty, stamina, and support. And I didn’t do it alone. I still don’t. Fourteen years later, I still lean on the people in my corner. Because healing isn’t a one-time event—it’s a daily choice.


Turn the Pain Into Purpose

As I began to untangle my past, I started to see how it could be used for good.

The darkness I had once resented became a foundation for something bigger. A way to connect with others. A way to offer hope. A way to create change.

The truth is, we don’t just “get through” hard things. We grow through them.

Every difficult season gave me a tool—resilience, compassion, boundaries, forgiveness. And with each tool, life became a little more manageable.

I’ve learned to ask for help. I’ve learned how to stay in the light. And I’ve learned that even when I don’t have the answers, I can reach out to someone who does.

None of this happened in isolation. And it wasn’t meant to. We’re not built to walk this path alone.


We’re Always in This Together

There’s a hashtag I see a lot: #WereInThisTogether. And while it’s been used to describe difficult global seasons, the truth is—it applies to all of life.

We are always in this together.
It’s easy to forget that when things are going well. But in moments of pain, we remember: we need each other.

And when we remember that, we grow stronger—not just as individuals, but as a collective.

When we rise, we lift others with us.
When we heal, we make space for others to do the same.


Choosing to Come Out Better

Right now, we all have a little more time to think. Life has slowed down, and in the pause, there’s a chance to reflect.

So here’s a question worth asking: How does this make me better?

Not how does this break me—but how can I use this to grow?
How can I take this struggle, this shift, this pause—and turn it into purpose?

That’s where real transformation happens. In the questions. In the actions. In the moments we choose light over darkness, connection over isolation, growth over fear.

We all have room to grow. We all have ways to get better. The choice is ours—every single day.

So what will you choose today?


SLAY Reflection

Take a moment, SLAYER, and reflect:

  • S: Have difficult times in your life led to personal growth? What did you learn?

  • L: Are there past challenges you now see as defining moments? What shifted?

  • A: What can you take from your current season and use to grow or help someone else?

  • Y: What’s one positive change you can commit to today that will lead you closer to your best self?


Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What lessons have you taken from your darkest moments, and how did they shape who you are today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s still in the dark, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! One reason people resist pain is because they focus on what they have to give up, not what they’re going to gain.
New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!
State Of Slay HOPE, Pain Ends

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Pain is real, but so is hope.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Pain Power

Is The Pain Of Change Greater Than The Pain Of Staying The Same?

Lately, with more free time at home, many of us are noticing those areas of our lives that might need some attention. With fewer distractions from the outside world, those lingering issues—things we were able to push aside before—are now front and center. It’s like life has paused just long enough for us to see what we’ve been avoiding.

For so long, I was a master at avoiding change. I could dig my heels in so deeply that I almost got stuck in place. Fear, low self-esteem, and shame had me convinced that if I ignored the signs, they would just fade away. But of course, they didn’t.
The more I resisted, the more pain I created for myself.

Looking back, I see that most of that pain was self-inflicted. I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—recognize my part in the situation. I told myself that everyone else needed to change, not me. That mindset kept me in the dark and let me play the victim. But what I didn’t realize was that by doing this, I was giving away my power. I was letting my pain control me instead of facing it head-on.

It wasn’t until the pain became unbearable that I finally surrendered. I had to get to that breaking point to become willing to change. And even then, change didn’t come all at once.
It was a slow, sometimes painful process, where I learned to let go of behaviors and patterns that no longer served me.


The Truth About Change

Here’s the thing:
Change is rarely easy, but it’s worth it.
Even now, with over 14 years on this path, I still find myself faced with the need for change. Sometimes it sneaks up on me. Behaviors I thought I had conquered creep back in. It’s humbling to admit that I need to deal with them again.

But the difference today is that I catch them sooner. I’ve learned to set aside my ego and get honest with myself. Change doesn’t have to mean chaos—it can mean growth. It can mean stepping into a stronger, more authentic version of myself.


The Choice is Yours

We have a choice:

  • Stay stuck in the familiar discomfort.

  • Or face the temporary discomfort of change.

Yes, change can be scary. It can be painful. But staying the same—living in patterns that no longer serve us—often hurts more. It’s the slow, grinding kind of pain that wears us down day after day.

This time in the world is an opportunity. We’re all experiencing shifts and uncertainty. Why not use this moment to make the changes we know we need to make? Why not come through this better, stronger, and more aligned with who we want to be?


SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you wait for the pain to become unbearable before you change?
Why do you wait?
Do you believe you deserve to suffer? Why?
What scares you about change? What do you think you need to change right now?
What small step can you take today to create a lasting positive impact?
There has never been a better time to break free from old patterns and choose a path that leads to your best self.


Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve been putting off that could bring more light into your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other in breaking free from the past and embracing the changes we need.
And if you know someone who needs this message—share it with them.
Together, we rise.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What is meant to be will always find it’s way.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Blast Off