When I was living in the dark I spent a lot of time in solitude. As my disease got worse, I isolated more, out of fear you would notice and judge me, and also because my head told me that I was better off alone. It’s been over 14 years ago since I found the courage to speak my truth and seek help, but as we all spend this time at home, it brings back those memories of the years I self-quarantined, to keep myself safe from you emotionally, and, to hide in shame.
For many people this has been a difficult time. The loss of freedom, letting go of our routines, friends and colleagues we typically see, and possibly saying goodbye to some of those same people who have passed away during this pandemic. It’s easy to feel alone, to retreat in fear and to allow ourselves to slip down into an emotional bottom. I’ve talked a lot here at State Of Slay™ about balance, and it’s during this time that finding a balance that works for you is essential to riding out this storm. When we sway too far one way or the other we invite dysfunction in, and with perhaps no one, are few people in our personal space to call us out on our slip we can continue to fall down and not notice until we find ourselves in a place that feels overwhelming, that is why, during this time, it is important to stay connected with people and stay accountable to yourself when checking in on your own mental health.
For me, I do this every day, it is a part of my recovery, to reach out, to give back, to be of service in some way. When I practice those things in my daily life it takes me out of my head and points my attention to those around me, and by shifting the focus I’m able to gain perspective and I’m able to find relief on those particular days when I may find things more challenging. There are so many options available to us to reach out right from our own homes, or hey, even hang your head out of a window or door and say hello to a neighbor, but make the extra effort to not only connect with someone else, but ask them how they are doing and if they might need help with anything. When we all work together we don’t feel alone, and something that may feel insurmountable becomes doable when we feel we have the strength of those around us. We are all in this together and we can walk through this, or anything, as one, but it does take a little effort to stay in the fold, even though when one of us does fall behind, there’s usually someone there to go looking and to bring them back. We do all care, we do love you, and we don’t want anyone to fall behind. We are stronger together and we remind each other of the humanity of this world, of what’s really important in life, people, relationships, sharing a commonality or just the shared experience, it’s what connects us to each other, and keeps us tethered to the rest of the world.
I am loving that during this time we all have been reaching out more, communicating, sharing our struggles, the heartbreak, the humor and our creative talents to lift each other up and to emphasize that we are not alone, we all, worldwide, are having to navigate through this new world, with very little certainty of when it will end and what the outcome will be for ourselves, but we continue to walk forward, connecting our hearts instead of our hands, moving as one, each of us, individually from our own homes.
We share our solidarity in solitude and our solitude becomes solidarity. Walk with us and stand tall knowing that you do not walk alone, we are all standing there with you. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Have you been keeping yourself connected to those around you or have you been isolating? What haven’t you stay connected? What have you found challenging about staying connected? Do you have fears about doing so? If so, what are they? When you do connect with someone, how does that make you feel? Do you feel better? When you are feeling isolated or alone do you reach out to others? If not, why not? How can you improve your efforts to reach out? When you are having a challenging day, are you able to get out of your own head and offer help or an ear to someone else? How does that make you feel? How come you don’t do it more often? You are not alone, unless you choose to be, but life is a lot more manageable when we all walk it together. We are all feeling uncertain, scared, and, let’s face it, annoyed by the current circumstances, but why not make it better by sharing it with others and making the best out of an uncomfortable and troubling situation, you never know, you may just find something within those connects you like.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
2 thoughts on “Solidarity In Solitude”
“…to keep myself safe from you emotionally, and, to hide in shame.” (C.G.)
Wellp, I’m in it now. This blog post is going to cut me open, in the best possible way.
“…by shifting the focus I’m able to gain perspective and I’m able to find relief on those particular days when I may find things more challenging.” (C.G.)
Firstly, my sincerest empathies to one of your losses recently. Biggest of virtual hugs. Secondly, thank you always for reaching out. Through your words, I’ve been able to gain perspective and relief myself. Your posts that espouse kindness, forgiveness and self-care are so important to my recovery. A cheerleader in the darkest of times.
“… we all have been reaching out more, communicating, sharing our struggles, the heartbreak, the humor and our creative talents to lift each other up and to emphasize that we are not alone…” (C.G.)
I have done maybe one out of the five of these things. I don’t think I’ve really communicated, shared my struggles or hearbreak recently. I’ve just been trying to mask all of the pain with humour and creative endeavours so as not to face myself, to be frank.
“…but we continue to walk forward, connecting our hearts instead of our hands, moving as one, each of us, individually from our own homes.” (C.G.)
Thank you Carrie, I feel less alone now. I’ve been just feeling so disconnected from everyone and everything. Mostly because of my own doing. I’ve been struggling to redefine and rebuild my personal inner foundations. However, like you said also in this post, “we are all in this together and we can walk through this”. It takes so much time and effort! However, great monuments and legacies don’t get built in a day. I feel like we’re going through a global tower moment and it just all takes time.
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Thank you for reaching out, and thank you for your condolences.
It does take effort on our part to stay connected, and sometimes we tell ourseleves it’s too much work, or not worth the effort, yet when we do it, we feel better. Sometimes it’s about practicing contrary action (I have a blogged titled that you can search on the site) and doing the opposite of what our brain tells us to do because it is what is best for us.
Find our place and what this new “normal” is for now and find your rhythm here, we are all just doing the same, and always happy to have another drummer join the band.
Be well my friend, and, stay connected.