Most of us have a lot more free time these days. Time at home alone, or with family and time away from our usual routines, and with that extra time comes more time to pay attention to those areas in our lives that could use change and more time for them to come forward and to our attention. So many of those things we typically are able to push away because of time, distractions we place in front of ourselves to mask those areas of our lives where some change would do some good, or just total denial we need to change anything, have become more obvious in this current climate, there’s nothing like everyone’s lives becoming almost paralyzed to show us exactly the change that should be happening, and yet, we still pause.
For many of us, myself included, will put up with great amounts of excruciating pain before we change. Thankfully my threshold for such pain has lessened over the years, but back when I was living my life on fear, low self-esteem and shame, I dug my heels as far into the ground as I could when it meant making some changes. That stubbornness kept me sick and kept me in the dark until I was almost unable to get out. Looking back, most of the pain I had suffered back then was at my own hand, because I wasn’t willing to look at my part, or couldn’t even recognize it, and I wanted to play the victim and point my finger at everyone else. It wasn’t I that needed to change I thought, it was all of you. By living in that mindset I was a victim because I was giving all of my power to you even though I could have taken it back at any time. It took as much pain as it did to finally surrender to change and let go, to be willing to work on making changes in my life that were healthy and placing me in a direction of recovery, and once I was able to start making small changes, and feeling the positive result of that, I became more willing to tackle the big ones. Now, don’t get me wrong, I just didn’t clean house all at once, it was a process, and some were harder to make than others, as I had convinced myself that some of the things I hadn’t been changing were actually good for me, protecting me, but they all had to go eventually if I was ever going to have the life I wanted for myself.
My life today is constantly full of change, and as my life has grown and gotten bigger over the past 14 plus years I’ve had to make changes I never would have imagined I would have had to, and even though, sometimes, even with the knowledge I have after all those years, I still can be reluctant to change and need to check my ego at the door. When a change comes to my attention that I think I’ve already dealt with, but has slowly crept back into my life, it can be a blow to my ego that I need to address it again, but our behaviors and habits can be quite cunning and sneak back in when we’re not looking, the trick is to notice them when they do and set aside our ego long enough to take them on, as it can be easy for many of us to fall back into our old ways if unchecked.
Change can be difficult for any of us, but it’s a good time to take stock of the changes we may need, or should make, while we have this time to reflect on our true state of being. As we watch the world change around us, why not change ourselves to come through this better than how we went in, and sure, that may be painful for some, but in my experience pain is no match for the power of giving myself the opportunity to be my best self. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to make changes in your life our wait for the pain to get to be unbearable before you do? Why do you wait? Do you think you deserve to suffer? Why? What scares you about change? What don’t you like about change? What do you think you need to change? What can you do to change something today to make a lasting positive impact? What has stopped you from making that change in the past? There has never been a better time to change the things in your life that stand in your way of being your best self.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you