Good morning SLAYER! Nothing lasts forever, the good, and the bad, so enjoy the good when it happens, and know, the bad will pass, especially when you focus on the good.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
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This Too Shall Pass
Nothing lasts forever, but when I’m sitting in the muck of my mind it seems I’m doomed for all eternity, my mind likes to tell me that anyway, and I used to believe it. When we seem to be living under a dark cloud it’s like time slows down, and the crap just keeps piling on, our legs get heavy, and so does our head and our heart, and it’s hard to move. But let me tell you a secret, you can move, you can move from all of that, you just have to…well move! We have the power to make a dark day turn bright and to walk away from the crap that’s holding us down, keeping us back, telling us that we’re meant to drown in the muck we find ourselves in. We fight, we scream, we stand up and know this place, this darkness, will not last forever, it never does, unless we let it, but like a thunderstorm it rolls through, reeking havoc, and then passes on it’s way, our personal storms are no different.
The trick is to remember that when you’re in it. Sometimes that can be hard, because the darkness is so deceptive, so relentless we see no end in sight, but it’s there, it’s always there, and just knowing it’s there can help us navigate through the dark until we find our way out. Our thoughts can lie to us, they can lead us to dark places and keep us there. Mine did for much of my life, and I believed the lies it told me, the lies that said that I wasn’t good enough, that people wouldn’t like me, that it was better, and safer, to isolate and stay alone, and the longer I listened, the louder the thoughts got. It took a lot of fight to quiet them down, but I did, and so can you.
This goes back to a lot of what I’ve talked about already, it goes back to self love, self forgiveness, and self care, that’s a lot of self, but, we need to take care of our own needs to make sure we’re in tip top SLAYER condition when things come our way, if we are it’s much easier to navigate through those murky waters, and to not believe those negative thoughts when they come up. When we think back to the dark times in our lives, they always passed, or at the very least, got brighter, life ebbs and flows, and there are always going be times when we’re riding high or clawing our way back, the trick is to remember, and believe, that you will be back on top, and that you deserve it! Don’t believe the negative hype! It won’t always be like this, it won’t, the sun will come back out and shine bright, as will we. It’s easier to weather the storm when you can stand up against it with a brightness from within, light your own way on your own path and find your way out. Sometimes it can be just as simple as laughing it all off, not taking it seriously and walking away, waiting out the storm, but some in cases it’s more serious than that, so, we trudge our way forward, doing the necessary footwork that may be needed to resolve what we can resolve, and then smile, oh yes smile, and let it pass, it will pass, the sun is just on the horizon.
Even though you may feel beaten down, in the darkness, alone, and tired, you have the strength SLAYER to get up and fight, you have it within you to walk through the darkness and find the light by using your own unique beautiful light to light your way, and use all of ours if it’s still too dark, we’re all with you on the same path shining bright. Don’t be afraid, don’t despair, don’t let it tell you it’s won, it hasn’t, unless you let it, and you’re a SLAYER, so look it right in the eye, pick up your mighty sword, smile, and say to yourself, this too shall pass and I will win, and so it will, and you will win.
SLAY OF THE DAY: When in your life have you gone through dark times only to see them pass over time? When have you managed to work your way out of a dark time? How did you do it? When you are in a dark place, is it hard for you to see or find the light? Does it seem like it’ll last forever? Does it? If you are in a dark place now SLAYER sit quietly and envision yourself surrounded by white light, a light so bright it lights up the room and all around you, take that light with you to shine in the dark areas of your life, let the light in and the darkness will fade away.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slayer Say
Good morning SLAYER! It’s important to celebrate each win, no matter how small, if it’s a step in the right direction, that’s a step that needs celebration! Be loud and proud, you are on the winning team SLAYER!
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Celebrate Your Wins
I never used to allow myself to celebrate my wins, either I felt I didn’t deserve them, or worried that others would feel I was bragging, or I thought if I talked about being excited or proud about something that it would be taken away. It took a lot of work to even accept a compliment and not try to make up a reason to explain it away, which I have since learned on this path that it’s actually an insult to the person paying you the compliment to not to accept it, you’re basically telling them they’re wrong. They weren’t wrong, and aren’t wrong, I was wrong to not allow myself to celebrate the good, the wins and victories in my life.
So many times we worry about what others might think that we gloss over the things we’ve worked so hard for, or the changes we’re making, but here’s the deal, if anyone in your life doesn’t celebrate along with you, they probably shouldn’t be in your life…or at the very least, if you don’t have a choice, kept at a distance and not be privy to the ups and downs of your daily life. Anyone who truly loves and accepts you is right there celebrating with you, even for the smallest thing, and, you are also there for theirs, see, that’s how it works. I love it when people around me are succeeding now, I used to sit in jealousy and harbor a resentment, that their life was going better than mine, but when I took my power back and learned to love myself, I started to realize that other people’s victories in my life we also my victories, when one of us rises, we all rise.
Like attracts like, so when the positive energy is flowing, it surrounds all of us in that circle, just so when someone in your circle is struggling, we all surround them to lift them up and support them through their dark days, and it’s important to celebrate the good days, even if you’re celebrating it wasn’t as dark as yesterday. Victory! Time for a celebration! Just having that attitude and the practice of allowing yourself to celebrate you is a victory, celebrate that! Allowing ourselves to be proud and sharing it with others also shows others, who may be struggling, that it can be done, that the dark days do pass, so, when you keep those things to yourself, just like how not accepting a compliment is doing the other person a disservice, so is not celebrating your wins, the others around aren’t seeing your progress, you’re hard work paying off, you making the decision to look for the good, to be positive and to move forward in the light. Keeping the good to yourself, well, it’s really kind of selfish.
So, get out there, tell the world and celebrate your wins, share, connect, and spread that positivity with those around you, that excitement and love for yourself is contagious and will spill out to those around you, and, perhaps even inspire others to get to work for their own wins, or, maybe see that they have a few of their own they should be celebrating. Don’t be afraid to shine bright, your light has the power to heal, not only yourself, but others, and the more you celebrate and work to live in the light, the brighter it gets, and the more powerful the light is all around us. You deserve to celebrate you, life has it’s challenges and each victory, no matter how small, is a huge victory for you, and a huge victory for us all.
SLAY OF THE DAY: How does the idea of celebrating your wins make you feel? Does it make you feel uncomfortable? Why? How are you doing on forgiving yourself SLAYER? Have you been feeling love for yourself? If not, why? What’s holding you back? We here all love you and want to celebrate with you, what’s one thing that you can celebrate today? Write it down, put it in your pocket and carry it with you throughout your day. Tell someone about it, and ask them to tell you one of theirs. Stay bright, and pass it on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slayer Say
Good morning SLAYER! What’s preventing you from letting go? Don’t drown in the past, let go and free yourself from people, places and things that no longer serve you, letting go is a far more powerful act than defending and holding on.
SLAY on!
Slayer Say
Good morning SLAYER! We alone build the walls and fences shutting us off from the world around us, and we alone can take those down. Let go of the fear of letting the outside world in, be true to yourself, stand tall, and set yourself free.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
SLAY TALK LIVE Video
For you SLAYERS who weren’t able to join us for SLAY TALK LIVE tonight, here’s what you missed!
SLAY on!
Slayer Say
Good Morning SLAYER! When our intentions are in the right place, and we know what other people’s intentions are, we are less likely to cause or run into problems because of miscommunication or lack thereof. Make sure you let your intentions be known and don’t be afraid to ask what someone else’s are. Everyone has their own reasons for getting involved and when you know the facts, you are safe.
New blog goes up Sunday…until then, SLAY on!
Intentions: The Truthseeker
Oh yeah, there’s no hiding from this one. Intentions. Just as important as it is to know someone else’s intentions it is also important to know our own, and to own it! Before stepping foot on this journey my intentions were always self seeking, they were, looking back it was always all about me because I was the victim, I was the one wronged who was owed something from life, and even though I would twist my intentions in my mind and always have a favorable answer to make myself look better, the truth of the matter was, my intentions were always self motivated, whether to try to manipulate the outcome or to tear someone else down to make myself look and feel better. Yup. Pretty huh? But, that’s the honest truth. The good news is I’m not that person anymore, and neither or you. When we decided to walk on a path of self love and living as our authentic selves we left our old selves behind, and even though they may run up behind us sometimes wanting in on the action, and sometimes might even get in on the action, we now have the power to tell them to take off, we don’t need them anymore, and quite frankly, they’re dimming our light!
Intentions can be tricky, especially when the heart or ego get involved, we may tell ourselves we have the best of intentions but we have to look at the cold hard facts. I’ve mentioned before that feelings aren’t facts, feelings like to come in and muddy up our thinking, and they’re really convincing at times and talk a good game, but what we need to do is ask them to step aside, they’ll probably get their feelings hurt, they’re feelings, that’s what they do, but what we need to to do is look at the facts of the situation. Whenever we are in doubt, we need to ask ourselves, what are my intentions in wanting to do this, or for doing it? If they are self-seeking, manipulative, or damaging to us or anyone else, stop, do not proceed, step back and take a breath. You should not be doing what you are doing. If you are doing something only to get a response, stop. Do not proceed. Step back and take a breath. You should not be doing what you are doing. For example, if you are telling someone you love them just because you want or expect them to say it back, your intentions are off, you should only be telling someone you love them because, well you love them, and you want them to know it, regardless of how it’s received or if it’s returned or not. Those are the right intentions. On this path we should only be doing things we want to do, because we want to do them, OK, there are some things we don’t want to do, taxes being one of them, but that’s something we are required to do by law, so do that, but I’m talking about the choices we make every day to engage with other people, who we engage with, what we decide to get involved with, those acts, acts of “charity,” friendship, love, encouragement, etc, all of those things that can be disguised as good things, but can have ulterior motives. Be honest with yourself. Why do you want to do those things? Why do you want to get involved with that person or group? Why are you volunteering? If your intent is because you want to do it and not because of the result or how you could benefit, then you have the right intention. Anything else, abandon ship. Living as our authentic selves we want to keep “our side of the street clean,” to be honest and transparent with those people in our lives, it’s how we cultivate trust, and if we can trust ourselves with our intentions, we can start to trust others, and trust that we are also picking the right people and situations in our lives. A part of that, and the second part to intentions, is knowing, or asking what the other persons intentions are. I know, scary right? But, here’s what we’ve already talked about, when we know the facts, we are safe.
If we are clear on someone else’s intentions then we know why the other person is involved with us or the situation, and what they are willing to contribute, and if that isn’t in line with what our intentions are, then a conversation needs to happen, and perhaps, things shouldn’t move forward from there. I, myself, used to get into many awkward, or angry, situations because I would “assume” that everybody had the same intentions that I did, or knew mine, without ever asking or expressing them. As much as we are not mind readers, neither is anyone else. Speak your truth! You may not always hear what you want to hear, but at least you know the truth, then you can make the best decision for yourself. You are safe.
Intentions can be difficult, cunning at times, but if we are honest about why we’re doing something, and have the courage and self respect to ask others what their intentions are, we don’t run the risk of problems or disappointments down the road. We also don’t carry around guilt or are deceiving others about why we are really there. What are your intentions?
SLAY OF THE DAY: Before you agree to do something or take on a new project, do you ask yourself what your intentions are? Are they self-seeking or manipulative? Are you hoping to get something out of it? Are you afraid to ask others what their intentions are? Why? Do you do things to look good to others? Why do you do that? My challenge to you SLAYER, is to do something nice for someone today without them knowing about it, or telling anyone else what you’ve done, if they find out, or you tell it doesn’t count and you have to try again. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Self Care: H.A.L.T.
Self care, I had no idea what that meant before I started this journey. What the heck was self care? Dodging those people I didn’t want to see, or had skipped out on? Sleeping off the night before? Yelling at someone so they would leave me alone and stop asking so many questions? That was my kind of self care before I started to love myself. Every day we wear a lot of hats, and it’s easy to put other people’s needs ahead of our own, and, it is nice to give back or do something for someone else, but we can’t forget to do something nice for ourselves, or even better, make it more than one thing, and a priority.
When I first set out on this path I hated myself, so the thought of being loving and kind to myself was a little tough to swallow, and having lived most of my life pretending to be who I thought you wanted me to be, I didn’t really know what to do to be kind and loving to myself and to give back to myself. Who was I? What did like? But I found as I started walking a path of learning who my authentic self was and learning to love that person I started to figure out what to do to show myself the love and respect that I would want from others, and to nurture the person inside of me who still believed she was less than.
That’s what it really is. It’s showing yourself that you matter, that your needs should also be met, and that with everything that we do every day, we need time to do something nice for ourselves and show ourselves we care, we need to recharge our batteries and put more fuel in the “I love myself” tank. We all run around with these ‘to-do’ lists, but we never seem to put ourselves on that list, we need to make sure, somewhere on that list, we write our own name down and make time to do something nice for ourselves, even on the busiest of days, even if it’s just singing out loud in your car to our favourite song, let your authentic self shine and show yourself love.
As I got more clarity, and found more self-love, I found ways to give back to myself, and I now make it a priority every day, and this also includes the things I’ve talked about before, making sure I’m eating properly, getting enough sleep, doing the things I need to do to give myself the best chance at success for my day, maybe sitting in silence to calm my nerves or thoughts, or reading something that helps me put things in perspective, lighting a candle, it’s about making sure I am doing what I can to put my best foot forward, all of that is also self-care, and self-love. When I find that my mind is racing and I’m feeling overwhelmed that is the first question I ask myself is, how am I doing in the self-care department, am I in H.A.L.T? I’ve mentioned H.A.L.T before, H.A.L.T stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. If I am any of those things I’m not in self care, I have neglected to do the things I need to do to face the day with a clear mind and the energy the I need to tackle my day.
Let’s get into H.A.L.T. Hungry, well, that is simple, if I’m hungry I need to eat, no excuses, I need to do it. My head turns to mud when I’m hungry, I can’t make decisions, and I become overly sensitive. Angry, well, I usually get angry at myself for not eating and for not being able to make decisions because I’m hungry, and then I overreact to things and get angry. Lonely, this will pop up if I have been isolating, not reaching out to friends and family and letting them know what’s going on for me, so I’m feeling shut off and distanced from those I love. Tired, did I go to bed early enough, did I get enough rest for the day ahead, if I didn’t, I am grumpy. H.A.L.T. keeps things simple, it’s the basics, but we all have needs we need to take care of to make sure we are giving ourselves the self care we need.
If these simple things are met I am usually pretty good to go through my day, and then adding a little something that’s just for me is a nice way to celebrate myself and let myself know that I’m cared for and loved, you should also do this, because, you are worth it and deserve things in your life that make you feel good, and nourishes that part of you inside who may have felt beat down, discouraged, who may not have had a voice, or had been feeling lost and alone, do it for that person, love that person and treat that person with the care and love they may not have gotten, give it to them now, give it to yourself now, give yourself what you need, give yourself self love, and self care.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you always put everyone else’s needs before yours? Do you take time out of your day just for yourself? If not, why? Do you think you’re worth taking some time for yourself? If not, why? You are SLAYER! Work on building self-care into your days and see how that changes your perspective on yourself, and the world around you. What’s one thing you can do today for your own self care? SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
