blessing

Time Takes Time

We often hear when we’re going through a difficult time, to give it time. And many times, my thought has been, well, how much time!? When is this going to feel better? And the answer is, when it’s time. I know that time does some amazing things. It can heal. It can give us perspective. It can give us strength, love, and it can give us what we need to move on, or start over. Time, as it turns out, is the answer to a lot of things, but it takes time to get time.

When I was new in my journey time was all I thought about. I could see others who had started before me, who had more time, and I wanted to be there, to jump ahead to that time, and already feel better, or feel how I thought those people were feeling, but since I had already gotten myself to an emotional and spiritual bottom by not wanting or allowing myself to feel my feelings, I was told I needed to learn to feel them right where I was, and that takes, you guessed it, time. I also had to accept that my time wasn’t anyone else’s time. We all heal, grow, learn on our own time, and it wasn’t my place to judge others time, nor was it there’s to judge mine, and I had to abide by that same rule with myself, I could not judge my own time, only live each moment to the best of my ability.

Time can seem infinite, daunting and empty, especially when we’re waiting to have it, so for me, on those days when I wanted to jump ahead, I had to focus on what was in front of me, do what was in front of my hands and take it moment by moment, minute by minute so I could keep moving forward with time, even if it was slower than I would have liked, but the key to being present for each moment of time was that I was actually living each moment, no matter how uncomfortable it was, I was there, feeling it and learning to make better choices for myself. And when I focused on each moment, I was able to start looking at larger increments of time, minutes, to hours, to days to months, to years. Each moment of time has added up to almost 14 years now, and yet still, like today, I sometimes have to dial it back to just this moment and keep it simple for myself so I don’t run away from time.

With time I do have the privilege to look back at my journey, so see how far I’ve come, and to notice what I still struggle with. Time shows me my patterns, my highs and my lows, and as it shows me that it also let’s me see that all of it, the good and bad, passes, because time never stops moving, even if we get stuck in it, stuck somewhere, time doesn’t stop, it moves past us until we catch up. Time is a blessing that way, it walks with us, and shows us our past, and it offers us the hope of the future, but that hope isn’t an invite to get ahead of it, just some light to look for as we keep moving forward in time.

We all love time when it’s working in our favor, the trick is to realize that it may always be, even when it’s adding stress or moving too slowly, there’s always a reason for time moving just as it is, and even when it doesn’t seem so, it may always be on our side, even when it seems like it’s working against us. Time, like everything in life, is going to tick along at it’s own pace, so why not learn to dance in it’s rhythm and trust that it’s moving at just the right speed to allow us to get what we need out of our time each day. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you make the most of your time? Do you live in the moment or do you find yourself looking into your past or surfing into the future? Why do you think you do that? What stops you from living in the moment? What are you afraid of? Why are you not comfortable just where you are? What can you do in this moment to accept where you are? There is nothing we can do to slow down or speed up time, so why not appreciate it and learn to make the most out of the time we have.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you’re living in harmony with yourself, you’re living in harmony with the universe.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay universe

How Do I Know I’m In The Flow?

Someone recently asked me how I know when I’m in the will of the universe or my own will. For me, I can typically tell because when I’m not trying to force my will things go smoothly, it’s like being in the express lane on the freeway.

Looking back, before stepping on this path, I only wanted things my way. Nothing went smoothly because I was trying to force things into happening the way I wanted them and when I wanted them. There was no waiting or investigating to find the right way, or the right time, I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now! As a result I wasted a lot of time and energy on things I had no business being a part of, and would often get involved with people I shouldn’t have, or get involved with them for the wrong reasons. Nothing just flowed into the right direction because I was trying to override that direction with the direction I was trying to make happen, which led me into dishonesty and manipulation. It was all a slippery slope with me, and when I’m in a mode of trying to force my will I’ll go to almost any length to make that happen, ignoring the signs around me that I’m heading in the wrong direction.

The Universe, God, Higher Power, whatever makes sense for you, does send us guidance and signs if we ask for them, and, we are looking for them. Sometimes those signs do come like a slap in the face when we’ve been ignoring them, and there may be something that comes that is even bigger than a sign and just stops you dead in your tracks, but when we are open to working with a force that is bigger than ourselves, and look for direction, I have found it is there, and if it’s not in that moment I know that I am not supposed to do anything at that moment, to keep doing the work, keep investigating, keep asking for direction, but stay right where I am until I feel confident about the next move. It is during those times, when I am in alignment with where I am supposed to be that I feel at peace, that things do fall into place, many times, quite miraculously, and I feel grounded and centered on my path. Now that may sound like some mumbo jumbo if you don’t have a belief or understanding in something greater than yourself, but I am a firm believer in a higher power and I know, from plenty of experiences in my life, that there is something out there that watches over me, and I also know that when I connect with it, it has my back, in fact it’s even had my back when I haven’t connected with it, but it works better when I do, and I certainly feel better.

There are signs and direction everywhere if we choose to see them and take the direction. We can try to run the show and steer the ship ourselves, but we’re likely going to hit solid ground at some point steering it alone, now that’s not to say that hitting bottom isn’t a part of your journey, and, could possibly be a blessing to get you where you need to be, but why cause more chaos than you really need to, life is meant to be enjoyed, we’re not meant to suffer at your own hand. Find your flow, be open to new ideas or directions, and look for the signs, they’re there and they’re there to show us the way. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe that there is something greater than yourself that guides you and looks after you? If not, why not? If you do, what is your understanding or belief in what that is? How has it guided you in the past? When have you seen the guidance and chosen not to take it? What was the result? What signs have you seen in your life that there seems to be some guidance from that source? How do you connect with it? How can you connect with it more? It comes down to having faith SLAYER, faith in something you cannot see but can feel, if you consciously work on forming a relationship with it, and allow yourself to loosen the reigns and let something else show you the way, that connection, or bond, will get stronger, and that direction clearer. There is a lot out there we don’t know, so why not let yourself believe and trust that you may have more on your side than you thought?

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Say Thank You, Even If You Don’t Like It

I know what you’re thinking, why would I say thank you for something I don’t like? We should always say thank you, because we are grateful or appreciative for the good, and because we are grateful and appreciative for the not so good because we will learn from it.

We label things as good or bad. We assign value to things. But really nothing has more or less value unless we give it that value. So the idea of saying thank you to something you don’t like is a way to level the playing field. To make everything a positive experience. Some things, because they favor us, or are what we want, most definitely fall into a positive experience, and others take a different perspective to look for the positive. But, it’s always there.

When I look at things, or situations, that did not go my way, I can choose to think of those as negative, but really they weren’t. I always learned something from them. I learned about myself and I learned about the other people involved. I might learn that I needed to prepare more, or ask more questions, or maybe I needed to make my expectations known, perhaps I set my expectations so high no one could have met them, or maybe my lesson is to learn to be graceful and humble when things don’t go my way. No matter what, I look at what I could have done better and what I could learn for the next time. That’s the positive way to look at a negative situation. It’s also about living in a place of gratitude.

It’s easy to be angry or bitter that when we don’t get our way, and it’s easy to get into a negative pattern of thinking that tells us we never get in our way, which likely isn’t true, we just might not be getting our own way as much as we’d like, so, the question is, how can we change that? And, is our own way really the best way for us? There might be a reason we’re not getting our own way. It may not be what’s best for us after all. And, when we’re open to not just labeling something as bad, we can be open to seeing what we can take away from those situations. Being grateful for whatever comes is living in a state of grace, and living in a STATE OF SLAY. Trusting that what comes your way is what is best for you and, even if someone reacts to you in a negative way, be grateful for what that might teach you, and, how you may have handled it. What you might learn from that. What you can take away. Look for the lesson, or, just be grateful, regardless. I know that might seem foreign, but trust me, once you practice it, it really is a happier place to live. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know no one can do this all the time, we’re not perfect, but if we land here most of the time that is enough to make a seismic shift, propelling us from a place of poor me to fortunate me. I always say, look for the good and you will find the good, and this is a perfect example.

Say thank you whether you like it or not. Be grateful. Learn. Grow from the experiences that are put in front of you, find the good, create the good, be the good.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you let seemingly bad situations get your down? Do you blame yourself? Do you blame others? Do you carry that around and let it ruin your day, week, month, year? How does that help you? How does it hurt you? How does being grateful for things you don’t like feel to you? If it’s negative, why do you feel negatively about it? What do you get out of holding on to the bad? SLAYER, try saying thank you, even just in your own head, no matter what the outcome, and find a way to be grateful for all experiences, sometimes it’s the ones we label as bad that we learn from the most, so find some gratitude in that.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you