Mental Health

You Have To Be At Your Strongest When You Are At Your Weakest

It may sound impossible at times, but in those moments when we feel our weakest, we must dig deep and find our strength.

There have been countless times in my life where I’ve had to rely on an inner strength I didn’t even realize I had. Somehow, just enough rose to the surface to help me push through.

We are all stronger than we think.
And when I take a moment to reflect on everything I’ve overcome, I’m reminded of the strength and courage that carried me.
It helps me in the present.
It prepares me for the future.
Because true strength often reveals itself when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

The Sword May Feel Heavy—But It’s Still There

Looking back on my lowest points, I can admit—I didn’t always use my strength.

There were times I believed I was weak.
Times I gave in to the idea that I was broken or not worth saving.
I had flickers of power, brief moments of energy and clarity, but they’d fade. And that negative voice in my head? It would rush in, louder than ever.

That inner strength—the warrior in me—it was there.
But some days, that sword felt too heavy to lift.

There was one day in particular when I came dangerously close to surrendering.
I was at my lowest. But even then, there was a whisper of strength left inside me.
It wasn’t loud.
It wasn’t flashy.
But it was just strong enough to reach out, to ask for help, to cry for help.
And that moment changed everything.

That quiet strength was enough to rally.
Enough to begin my fight back.

What Strength Really Looks Like

For me, strength isn’t about pushing through everything without feeling.
It’s about showing up—even when it’s hard.

My strength lives in the inner warrior that walks beside me.
It’s the part of me that shields the most vulnerable parts inside.

My strength is spiritual.
It’s rooted in a connection to something greater than myself—a belief that I’m held, even when I’m hurting.

It’s also built from experience:

  • Everything I’ve survived
  • Every fight I’ve fought
  • Every story I’ve shared and heard from others walking similar paths

I also surround myself with people who reflect that strength back to me.
People who remind me who I am when I forget.
And I do the same for them.

Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s light until we remember our own.

Strength Is a Practice

I’ve learned that strength isn’t something you “find” once and then never lose.
It’s a practice. A choice. A mindset.

I know now that:

  • When I feel weak, I need to seek strength—not hide from it
  • I can’t afford to tell myself I’m powerless, even when I feel that way
  • My strength grows the more I use it, trust it, and share it

And there’s always a small spark inside me—a flame that never goes out, no matter how dark it gets.

That’s what carries me.
That’s what keeps me standing.
And that’s what I want to help you find too.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

We all have strength.
Even if it feels buried. Even if it’s been challenged.
Even if it’s quiet.

If this past year has shown us anything, it’s that we’re still here.
We’ve survived more than we thought we could.
We’ve made it through dark seasons, tough days, and hard truths.
And we’re still standing.

That is strength.

Now is the time to pick up your sword.
To fight for someone who matters—you.
Me. Us.

Dig deep.
Find your strength.
And use it to keep moving forward.

SLAY Reflection: Where Does Your Strength Live?

  1. Can you find your strength even when you feel weak?
    What helps you tap into it?
  2. Have you ever doubted your ability to push through?
    What got you through anyway?
  3. What are some moments in your life when your strength surprised you?
    How did they change you?
  4. Do you remember your past victories when facing something hard?
    How can those reminders serve you now?
  5. Who in your life needs a reminder of their strength?
    Can you share yours with them today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment when you found strength you didn’t know you had?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel strong right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Making mistakes is better than faking perfections. 

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

Just Because You Make Mistakes Doesn’t Mean You Are A Mistake

We all make mistakes.
It’s how we grow. It’s how we learn.
Sometimes we learn to do things differently, and sometimes we simply learn that mistakes are just part of the process—an oops, not an identity.

But there’s a dangerous turning point many of us reach:
When we start to believe that we are the mistake.

That’s when mistakes stop being lessons and start becoming labels.
And when we internalize our failures, we block our own growth.

The Trap of Perfectionism

When I was living in the dark, I believed I was a mistake.
Every time I messed up—even just a little—I used it as proof that I was broken, unworthy, or incapable.

I set impossibly high standards for myself, and when I didn’t meet them, I punished myself emotionally.

  • I beat myself up.
  • I questioned my worth.
  • I kept mental score of every misstep.

Perfection wasn’t just the goal—it was the requirement.
And every time I fell short, I used it as another reason to feel like I had failed at life.

The Permission to Mess Up

Everything changed when I got help.
I was told something I had never even considered:
It’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, it’s encouraged.

Mistakes meant I was trying.
Mistakes meant I was doing something new.
Mistakes meant I was taking action—even if the outcome didn’t go as planned.

That shift in thinking opened the door to something I hadn’t felt in a long time: freedom.

I stopped needing to be perfect and started focusing on being present.
I learned to ask, What can this mistake teach me? instead of, What does this say about me?

Listening to the Signs

Another thing I began to notice?
I made more mistakes when I wasn’t taking care of myself.

If I was tired, overwhelmed, underfed, or overworked—my errors increased.
And instead of blaming myself, I started seeing those slip-ups as signals.

  • Maybe I needed rest.
  • Maybe I needed better boundaries.
  • Maybe I needed to slow down.

Mistakes became more than just missteps—they became a check-in.
An opportunity to notice where I might be neglecting my own needs.

Mistakes That Lead to Magic

Here’s the other thing:
Some of my biggest mistakes?
They’ve led me to some of the most beautiful parts of my life.

If I hadn’t taken the wrong turn, I wouldn’t have found the right path.
If I hadn’t said yes when I probably should have said no, I wouldn’t have learned what a real yes feels like.

We don’t always know in the moment, but sometimes what we call a mistake is actually just a redirection.
A plot twist with a purpose.

The Only Real Mistake?

The only mistake you can make is not taking action because you’re afraid of failing.
Playing it safe. Holding back. Staying small. That’s where real regret grows.

Life isn’t about getting it right all the time.
It’s about trying.
Learning.
Adjusting.
And trying again.

Mistakes are just part of the road.
They’re not roadblocks. They’re guides.

And they are never who you are.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Learning?

  1. Do you tend to beat yourself up when you make a mistake?
    What does your inner voice sound like in those moments?
  2. Have any of your past mistakes led to something unexpectedly positive?
    What did you learn?
  3. What can you do to be more forgiving of yourself when you mess up?
    What would you say to a friend in your position?
  4. Are you holding back from taking action out of fear of making a mistake?
    What might shift if you gave yourself permission to just try?
  5. How can you begin turning your mistakes into tools for learning instead of weapons for self-punishment?
    What would change if you saw them as stepping stones instead of stop signs?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one mistake you’ve learned from—and how did it help you grow?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s being too hard on themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Overcoming one fear, gives you the courage to overcome the next. 

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

You Become The Fears You Dwell On

Most of us have fears.
It’s part of being human.
But when we give too much focus and energy to fear, we risk becoming exactly what we fear most.

Fear can be sneaky like that. It creeps in, takes root, and grows stronger the more we feed it. Eventually, it can start to shape how we think, how we act, and even how we show up in the world—often without us even realizing it.

Fear can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What we focus on, we feed.
And what we feed, grows.

Fear Is an Invitation

I’ve written before about attracting the kind of energy we want in our lives.
When we live in fear—or negativity—that’s often what ends up circling back to us.

It’s not magic. It’s not instant karma.
It’s energy.
It’s focus.
It’s the silent agreement we make with our fears every time we let them lead.

When I was living in my illness, I was consumed by fear.
It was everywhere—under the surface of every thought, every decision.
And the more I ignored it, the more power it had.
I didn’t want to face it, so I tried to numb it, outrun it, distract myself from it.

But fear doesn’t disappear just because we look away.
It waits. It grows. And eventually, I started to become what I feared most.

When Fear Becomes Identity

I was aware of what was happening.
And still, I didn’t stop it.

I fed my fears with avoidance, with negative thinking, with silence.
And my fear evolved into a kind of paralysis—I couldn’t see a way out, and I wasn’t asking for one.

But then a different kind of fear showed up—the kind that keeps us safe.
The kind that whispers, “You can’t keep going like this.”
The kind that leads to action.

I was terrified of being judged, of being labeled “crazy,” of being too far gone to help.
But I was also terrified of where my life was headed if I didn’t get help.

And that good fear? It won.
I reached out.
I asked for help.
And for the first time, I found a door out.

Reclaiming Power Over Fear

I’ve learned that I don’t have to live in fear.
I still feel it, yes—because again, I’m human.
But I don’t live there anymore.

I’ve learned to acknowledge it when it shows up and then move through it.

Today, I focus on:

  • What I want to see in my life
  • What I hope for
  • What positive energy I can put into the world

I’ve built a spiritual connection that guides me and keeps me grounded.
I stay open to signs and nudges from the universe.
And I trust that fear is not something I have to surrender to.
It’s something I can listen to—but not let lead.

Use Fear as a Signal—Not a Sentence

Fear can be a compass.
Sometimes it points to the exact place where we need to do the most work.

Ask yourself:

  • What am I really afraid of?
  • What small action could I take to begin facing that fear?
  • What would it feel like to stop giving that fear so much power?

This is a challenging time.
But it’s also the perfect time to focus on the good you want to create—for yourself, for your family, for your life.

You don’t have to become what you fear.
You can choose something different.

You can choose to SLAY.

SLAY Reflection: How Are You Using Your Fear?

  1. Do you tend to live in fear or let fear guide your decisions?
    What are you most afraid of right now?
  2. Do you notice yourself becoming what you fear?
    What behaviors or beliefs might be feeding that?
  3. What action could you take today to work through your fear—just one small step?
    What would shift if you took it?
  4. How does fear affect your energy and mindset?
    What happens when you redirect your focus?
  5. How can you bring more positive action into your life today?
    Where can you reclaim your power?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one fear you’re ready to stop feeding, and what action can you take today to move through it?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in fear or letting it lead their life, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Keep an open mind and a compassionate heart. 

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! It’s what we think we know that keeps us from learning. 

SLAY on!

Live Between Always and Never

We often live life on autopilot.
We repeat the same routines, stick to the same beliefs, and follow the same patterns—not because they’re working, but because they’re familiar.

We tell ourselves this is just how we are.
We find comfort in the certainty of always and never.
But here’s the thing—certainty doesn’t always lead to progress.

I’ve written before about living in the gray, the in-between.
It’s in that space where change actually happens.
Where new ideas take root.
Where we make space for growth and possibility.

The middle is where transformation begins.

The Trap of Always and Never

Before I walked the path I’m on now, I was all about the extremes.
Always. Never.
I thought I knew what was best for me and I wasn’t interested in hearing otherwise.

I wasn’t happy—but I also wasn’t willing to change.

I stayed stuck. I stayed sick.
And I kept doing the same things over and over, expecting different results.

That wasn’t just frustrating—it was exhausting.
But it was also a product of my mindset.
I was clinging to always and never like a shield, and it was keeping me from moving forward.

The Power of Maybe

Everything began to shift when I allowed just a little room for maybe.

Maybe there’s another way.
Maybe I don’t know everything.
Maybe if I try something different, I’ll get a different result.

Recovery taught me that change only comes when you’re open to it.
I had to let go of the way I had always done things and be willing to try something new.

Was it uncomfortable? Yes.
Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Not everything I tried worked.
But trying was the point.
There were lessons in the failure—and confidence in the attempt.

Even now, I catch myself falling into that never mindset.
But I’ve learned to challenge it.
Because the best things in my life today?
They came from saying yes to something new.
From living in the middle.
From staying open.

Let Go of What’s Holding You Back

Stubbornness might feel like safety, but it often blocks growth.
It keeps us locked in patterns that no longer serve us.
It makes life smaller.

Living between always and never invites in the unknown—and yes, that can be scary.
But it also makes space for beauty, surprise, connection, and healing.

There’s a whole world you haven’t tried yet.
New waters to wade into.
New experiences that could change everything.

You’ll never know how warm the water is unless you take the first step in.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Open to the Middle?

  1. Do you tend to stick to the way you’ve always done things?
    What impact has that had on your life?
  2. Have you ever said no to something new—and later regretted it?
    What was the opportunity, and what did you learn?
  3. What parts of your life would you like to see change?
    Are you willing to try something different to make that happen?
  4. What are some small ways you could move away from always and never?
    How could you make room for maybe or I’ll try?
  5. What’s one thing you can say yes to today that pushes you out of your comfort zone?
    What could open up if you did?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment in your life when saying “maybe” instead of “never” led to something unexpected—or even life-changing?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in patterns that aren’t serving them, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Plant the seeds you want to see grow. 

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

You Attract What You Are, Not What You Want

How many times have you asked yourself,
Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people?
Why do the same patterns keep showing up in my life?
Why does it feel like I’m stuck in a loop?

It’s easy to think we’re just unlucky—or cursed with bad timing or bad energy.
But the truth is often more revealing: we attract what we put out.

And sometimes, what we think we’re putting out…
isn’t what we’re actually radiating at all.

What You Are Speaks Louder Than What You Want

We might see ourselves as kind, supportive, open-hearted people.
We might aspire to positivity, confidence, love, and light.
But if our actions and mindset don’t align with that energy…
we’ll keep attracting something very different.

What shows up in your life isn’t a reflection of your intentions.
It’s a reflection of your state of being.

That’s the hard truth. And also the empowering one.

My Experience: Living in the Dark

When I was deep in my illness, I often wondered why negativity seemed to follow me.
I’d joke that I must’ve done something awful in a past life.

But it wasn’t the universe punishing me—it was me.
It was my thoughts.
My energy.
My expectations.
And my refusal to face how much negativity I was quietly living in.

I tried to be a good person.
I wanted good things.
But my inner dialogue was toxic.
Even when something good would happen, I’d sabotage it with fear, doubt, or shame.

I didn’t feel like a negative person.
But I was living like one.
And the results matched that energy.

You Can’t Fool the Energy Around You

When I began my recovery, I started to see the pattern clearly.

If I expected the worst—I got it.
If I looked for the bad—I found it.
If I pretended to be positive—but was silently drowning in self-judgment—it didn’t matter.
Because energy doesn’t lie.

It wasn’t enough to want better.
I had to become better.

When I did the work—honest, vulnerable, sometimes painful work—things began to shift.

More light came into my life.
More supportive people.
More peace.

Did negativity disappear? Of course not.
But I stopped being drawn to it—and it stopped being drawn to me.

Live It to Attract It

We don’t attract what we hope for.
We attract who we are.

So if the patterns in your life aren’t what you want, don’t just ask, “Why does this keep happening?”
Ask:
“What energy am I really putting into the world?”
“Am I living the way I want to be loved, supported, and respected?”

Because life doesn’t respond to who you say you are.
It responds to how you live.

When you align your heart, mind, and actions with who you want to become—
That’s when the shift happens.
That’s when the energy changes.
And that’s when the right people and opportunities begin to show up.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Attracting?

  1. Are you attracting people or situations that leave you feeling drained or dissatisfied?
    What patterns do you notice?
  2. What don’t you like about what’s showing up—and could it reflect something within you?
    How might your mindset or habits be contributing?
  3. Are you being honest with yourself about the energy you’re giving off?
    What might need to shift?
  4. What would it look like to live as the version of you you want to attract?
    What’s one step toward that today?
  5. How would your life change if you aligned your energy with your true values?
    What would start showing up?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you’ve made that changed what you were attracting into your life—and how did it impact you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who keeps wondering why the same patterns keep repeating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.