Good morning SLAYER! Every life has purpose, and every story may help someone change theirs.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Inspiration
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Sometimes the only way to protect your heart is to share it with others.
SLAY on!
If You Share Your Heart, You Give Someone Else Permission To Share Theirs
I was talking with a friend the night who had expressed some concern for someone in her life who was going through a rough time but wouldn’t open up, she asked for my advice to try to get through to him. I told her to share her heart and her story with him.
I have always found that when we are open and honest, and yes, vulnerable, with someone it gives them permission to do the same. It was someone doing that with me that gave me the courage to reach out to them for help when I just couldn’t take it anymore. I have always remembered that moment, and how I felt, and have continued to do the same when I come across someone who is too afraid to open up.
When we share our truth, we connect our story to the other person’s, we show them that we are just like they are, that we aren’t going to judge them or lecture them, but we will understand, that we can be trusted because we’ve been where they are, or someplace similar. Who we are and what we’ve been through has a lot of value to someone who is still suffering and feeling lost, our truth can be a beacon of hope to them, to hear where we were and to show them where we are now. That truth might just be the little ray of hope they need, even if it doesn’t shine it’s light for them right away and only plants a seed of hope, that hope has been planted.
For me it actually took months before that hope resonated with me, but that seed was planted the night my friend shared that story, I just didn’t know it yet. Sometimes it takes time. Sometimes it takes them getting knocked down one more time. Sometimes it’s just about the right moment, when they suddenly find that courage to share their truth with you, as you did with them.
I’ve said this before, each of our stories matter, they all carry weight, and all of them can save lives if we just open up and share them with those who need to hear them. For me, that story did save my life because I knew I could trust that person with my truth, that was the beginning of living in the light for me, of not hiding, of being accountable for my actions, but then I needed to do the work to get better, that story alone wasn’t going to take me to where I needed to go, but it was the key I needed to unlock the door to my survival, and to living a life I could be proud of, without the shame and fear I had let rule my life up until that point.
We all hate to see people we love suffer, but when someone is in that place that last thing they want is to have someone come in and try to fix them, save them, or tell them what to do, when we open up and talk honestly about where we’ve come from, we take the spotlight off of them, and let them observe and listen, and when they don’t feel like they’re being attacked, or your target, they are more open to hearing what you have to say, of connecting to what you have to say, and of relating to what you have to say. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll open up and tell you their story, maybe not in that moment, but one day, when their life may depend on them telling it and they know they can trust you to listen.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you see how your openness and honesty can help someone else who may be reluctant to open up? Have you experienced an exchange with someone where you’ve opened up and that gave them permission to do so as well? Write about that experience. How did you feel sharing your truth? How did it feel when the other person shared theirs with you? Sharing our truth is a two-way street, it not only helps the other person, it also helps us as well because we connect to another human being, and we may just learn something new about how we feel when we say things out loud. It is never a coincidence when we are drawn to someone, or feel compelled to share, trust that, trust that both of you are meant to be open and honest, and that you both will share in the rewards. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Use your strength of good.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
If You’re Strong Enough To Destroy Something, You’re Strong Enough To Repair It
There was a time when I believed strength meant walking away.
Ending things.
Burning it all down before anyone could get too close.
And I had a lot of strength.
But I didn’t always use it for good.
Especially toward the end of certain chapters in my life, I used my strength to destroy:
Relationships. Opportunities. Myself.
Sometimes intentionally.
Other times, impulsively.
But almost always out of fear.
Fear of being exposed.
Fear of being seen as damaged.
Fear of being me.
So I built walls. I pushed people out. I burned bridges and convinced myself I didn’t have the strength to fix any of it.
But that wasn’t true.
What I didn’t have was the humility to try.
I had the strength all along. I just didn’t yet understand what real strength looked like.
Because real strength doesn’t lie in the destruction.
It lives in the repair.
It’s easy to tear something down.
It’s much harder to own your part and build something better in its place.
But that’s where we grow.
That’s where healing happens.
When I began to get better, I slowly learned how to channel that strength in a new direction.
One that looked more like forgiveness.
Like compassion.
Like showing up for myself and the people I loved.
I stopped using my strength to protect the wound and started using it to heal.
Here’s what else I learned:
That voice in your head—the one that says you’re “stronger alone” or that you’re “cutting off what doesn’t serve you”—sometimes it’s not wisdom.
Sometimes it’s fear talking.
Sometimes it’s pain pretending to be power.
There’s a difference between walking away to honor yourself and walking away to avoid yourself.
I’ve done both.
I’ve ended relationships and convinced myself I was doing the strong thing… when really, I was just afraid to look at the part I played in their breakdown.
It’s easier to point the finger.
It’s harder to say, “I chose this dynamic.”
“I allowed this behavior.”
“I contributed to the pain.”
But that’s the work.
That’s the kind of strength that transforms everything.
And here’s the beautiful part:
The more we practice using our strength to build, the more of it we gain.
Just like self-esteem comes from estimable acts, our inner strength multiplies when we use it for repair, growth, and truth.
We become stronger when we’re brave enough to face ourselves.
To say the hard thing.
To make the amends.
To walk toward the mess instead of away from it.
Because if you’re strong enough to destroy something…
You’re strong enough to repair it.
SLAY Reflection
S – SHOW UP: Are you using your strength to avoid, escape, or destroy? Or to face, heal, and rebuild?
L – LEARN: What’s one moment where your strength showed up in a way that surprised you?
A – ACCEPT: Can you accept that real strength might look like softness, honesty, or vulnerability?
Y – YOU MATTER: What’s something broken that you still have the power to repair?
BONUS: What could change if you used your strength for good—starting today?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever used your strength to heal something you once damaged?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling with what it means to be strong, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Not every battle can be won. Not every battle is your battle to fight. The only battle that is worth fighting is the battle in your mind that tells you it’s your right to be right, even when the battle has nothing to do with you.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Talk Live Video
Hey SLAYER! We had an amazing SLAY TALK LIVE today, if you missed us, here’s all the SLAYtastic action.
SLAY on!
Just Part Of The Passing Parade
I used to engage with everything that I came my way. I would get into pointless arguments, make sure my opinion was known, explain to someone the ‘right’ way to do something, basically insert myself into each situation that crossed my path. I felt I had to. It was what was right. What I didn’t realize until I got healthier was that the reasons I was doing it was to feed my sickness, whether to make myself superior, to feel anger, to prove that all people were ‘idiots’ so I didn’t feel so bad when I lied to them, manipulated them, or even stole from them. I was never engaging with anyone to be helpful, or to be of service, well, if I was it was to get something in return. But most of the time it was to feed my ego because I felt less-than. Those little altercations where like a hit of a drug, for a moment, right after, I would get a high…and then it would wear off and I’d go looking for the next hit. It wasn’t until I made a commitment to let go of those old behaviors that I realized what those behaviors where doing to me.
Everyday we cross paths with a lot of people. And we cross paths with them for many different reasons. Nothing happens by chance. And there are those out there that seek out trouble, they were like me, and they’re looking for a fight, or a moment to feel better than whomever they encounter. I know now that they are just part of the passing parade. I don’t have to engage with each float, clown, and marching band that comes my way. I can stay on the sidewalk and just watch them go by. Because today I have nothing to prove. Today my mental health is what is my priority, and engaging with the passing parade is not good for my mind. Sure, if someone needs help I will jump in to be of service, and I will initiate a conversation with someone to hopefully brighten their day, but the rest of those hooligans, they can keep marching on by. Don’t get my wrong, sometimes it is tempting, they always make it look so enticing, and, on a bad day, I may even start to dip my toe in those murky waters, but it never feels good, I don’t get that hit or high anymore like I did, if I do, it’s very fast, and the awful feelings are quick to rush in and wash that high away. And, I’m glad they do, I’ve worked very hard to find my serenity, or peace of mind, because where I came from was so far off from that place, so far, I didn’t even know it was possible to find it. But trust me, it is. Just stay off that parade route.
I also use the parade analogy for the thoughts in my head. That negative self-talk, or bullshit committee as I like to call them, love to chime in, especially when I’m in H.A.L.T., hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, boy their voices get loud, but instead of engaging with them, I let them pass, sometimes I’ll even catch myself saying, “thank you for sharing, but you can take that someplace else.” Because the truth is, they are like a passing parade, they will just pass by if you let them, they might try to come back, but as long as you don’t acknowledge them, they keep walking.
As we navigate through each day, we have a choice, we can do what’s best for our own peace of mind, or we can try to win every battle that comes our way that we actually can’t win. Because we lose each time we engage in something we are not meant to be engaging with. Each of those battles chips away at our self-love, and it keeps us in a cycle of being sick. When we are well, loving and honoring ourselves, we don’t feel the need to engage with the passing parade, we notice it, and then let it pass on by, so if that parade passing in front of you is too hard to let go, that’s a sign of some work to be done SLAYER, and time to put on that investigative hat and find out why you feel so compelled to fight a battle you cannot win, a battle that is really with yourself, and not the people in that parade, because the only battle you can win, is the battle that goes on within yourself, and once you know the facts of why you feel you need to go to battle, you’ve found your armor, and that armor will protect you from anything that crosses your path. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel compelled to interact with anyone and everyone that crosses your path? Why? What if you didn’t? What do you think will happen? Do you get caught up in other people’s drama, and fights, at the detriment of your own mental health? Why do you think you do this? When you feel compelled to do this, are these times when you may be in H.A.L.T.? Are you looking to make yourself feel better? Are you looking to make yourself feel bad? What are you looking for? Why do you think you’re looking for it? What if you stopped? What if you didn’t engage with these people? What if you took a deep breath and walked away. Took your power back and did what was right for you. Noticed when these fights were fights that cannot be won, or, the expense was too great to your own person. What if you chose to not get involved unless it directly affected you? What if you chose to look for ways to give back and be of service instead of engaging with those who only want to inflict pain, or put you down? Why don’t you do that SLAYER. Let the passing parade go by and focus on those people who may need your help, need a hand, or just might need a smile. You’ll see how that affects those distractions that pass you by, they become much less distracting, and much more of just some noise in the distance.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You become what you hide.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! You are enough. Let your true self shine and others will find you with the same light.
SLAY on!
