try

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! The one who falls and gets up is a lot stronger than the one who never fell.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

state-of-slay-Push Past

 

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.

SLAY on!

state-of-slay-Never Try

When Was The Last Time You Did Something For The First Time?

Good question. Today. The answer for me was today. But before stepping on this path, I probably had to think about it for a while, and if I was able to come up with an answer, it probably would have been a long time ago. I got stuck in a cycle of darkness and despair. I would wake up angry I woke up, having wished the night before that I would just die in my sleep, I would tell myself that the day ahead was going to be different, but it never was, and I went to bed angry that I had just repeated the same day over yet again. But, I wasn’t doing anything different, so how could I expect anything different than what I had been getting? My head wanted me to relive the same day over and over because it wanted to keep me sick. It wanted me to say right where I was until I couldn’t take it anymore. And I got to that point. The point of not being able to take it anymore, and then I was at a crossroads, do I do something different, something for the first time, or let the same things take me out? I chose to do something for the first time, and I reached out for help. That saved my life.

Now, doing something for the first time might not be as dire as that, but it might be. The decisions we make every day effect how we see ourselves, our lives, those around us, and the trajectory where we’re going and who we come into contact with. While I was on my road to recovery I was encouraged to say yes to things, to try new things and to break out of the routine I had been in. Saying yes to new things was a bit scary at first. As much I didn’t like the way things were, I knew what the result was going to be, there were no surprises, as sick as I was, there was comfort in that place I knew, trying new things felt scary, like falling from the sky without a parachute or net, but I had to jump if I wanted to learn to fly.

I tried to look at new things as something exciting, that perspective helped those three letters come out of my mouth, y-e-s. I said yes to pretty much everything, as long as it was moving me forward and helping me in my recovery. And you know what? The more I did it, the less scary it became, and, I learned a lot about myself in the process. I had never asked myself what I liked or wanted, outside of career, I just tried to blend in, and did what I thought you wanted me to do so you wouldn’t ask a lot of questions. This was now my time! My time to discovery who I really was, and what I really liked. I also met a lot of cool people along the way, people I never would have met if I had kept saying no and isolated in my apartment. Saying yes to me meant saying yes to life, and I was determined to live.

Today I still say yes to new things. In fact, I look for new things to say yes to. I continue to learn about myself because I continue to grow and explore, and saying yes to new things is a key ingredient to that. There is so much out there that I haven’t done, or even know about, saying no and only sticking with what I know is doing myself a huge disservice, I’ve come this far, why would I stop now? Are you getting in the way of your own growth or health by saying no to new things?

SLAY OF THE DAY: Are you open trying new things? If not, why not? When was the last time you said yes to something new? What was it? What was the result? Do you typically say yes to new things? What positive things has saying yes brought to your life? What has it taught you? How has it helped you grow? If you haven’t been saying yes, how do you think it may be hurting you? Are you currently happy where you are? Is there something you could say yes to that might move you forward, away from the place you currently find yourself? Where would you like to find yourself? How can you get there? Life presents us with many choices every day, if we don’t say yes to new things we stay stuck where we are, and, we may be missing out on where we should be.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you are still trying, you have not failed.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Stumble (1)

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is no failure, only learning experiences.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Flat

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Old ways won’t open new doors. The doors we decide to open and close each day, determine the life we lead.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Meant To Be

Optical Delusion

We’ve all heard the saying “looking at the world through rose-colored glasses,” and I was certainly guilty of that, and I say guilty because I believe that although sometimes it is nice to see the world with a positive, or pretty perspective, when we purposely ignore the truth, ignore our responsibilities, and ignore ourselves and choose to see only what we want to see, that’s where we can fall into bad behaviors. Each one of us has our own perspective, no two people see everything exactly the same, and take our experiences, beliefs, and projected expectations into each situation, and those things can twist reality into something very different.

Our own Optical Delusions aren’t always rose-colored. They can also hold us back. I was reading a story recently about some trainers in India working with baby elephants. When they began they would firmly chain them to a tree so they can’t break free. Over time, after many attempts to break free, the elephants stop trying, and slowly the trainers reduces the size of the chain until they no longer use one at all, but the elephant, still believing it’s there, because it had been many times in the past, no longer tries to see if it can get away. We as people do the same thing. Our field of vision can get so small based on our past experiences that we stop trying, we just sit there, and our Optical Delusion tells us that there is no hope, no use in trying, because we are doomed to the existence we currently find ourselves in, not true. Try. Just try something different, take contrary action and just try. Circumstances can change, we change, but we’ll never know unless we try. Sometimes the only thing that is currently holding us back is us, there is no chain, only the one we imagine in our mind.

On the flip side, there are those who live life like they’re in their own fairy tale. Floating through life doing what they want, not a care in the world, or if they do, quickly brushing it off, or stuffing it down with outside things, thinking if they can keep floating above the mayhem, or the reality of their actual lives, they will always be OK. Well, at some point the balloon bursts and they come crashing down to earth, sometimes with a lot of mess and financial damage to clean up. As you know, I’m always an advocate of looking for the good, the positive in the world and our lives, but not so much that we are ignoring what is really going on around us.

So, how do we know if we are seeing the truth around us, or our own Optical Delusion? We stop, really look around. We ask ourselves if what is happening, truly happening, lines up with our core beliefs of who we are and how we want to live our lives. We ask ourselves if we are shirking our responsibilities to go off and play, ignoring our own needs and those around us. We ask ourselves if the story we’re seeing in front of us is true. What are the facts? Or have we slipped into a place of repression, or irresponsibility, which is holding us back? Listen, it’s always nice to treat ourselves and do something we love, enjoy, or feel a part of, but not if we’re using those things to run away from ourselves and our lives, or, holding ourselves back and telling ourselves we can’t do the things we love, or try for something better because of our own negative self-talk. It’s about getting honest with ourselves. We can do anything SLAYERS, we have the power, but sometimes we get in our own way, or let the voices of others stop us from trying. Ask yourself if what you’re seeing in your life is true, the facts, or are you looking at it through an Optical Delusion?

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you think you look at your life with a clear perspective? Or do you think you give it a darker view, or to much of a rosey one? Why do you think you do that? What do you think you can do to change that? What do you think will happen if you do? Write down how you feel about yourself and your life. Now, ask yourself which of those things are facts, and which ones are fears or feelings that no longer pertain to your life or situation. What can you do to change the facts that you don’t like? And, how can you accept the ones that you cannot change? It’s about finding a balance SLAYER, living our lives for us, finding joy for ourselves, but not putting joy above the basic things we need to do to be active in our own lives and taking responsibility for our own actions. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! It’s up to us to get ourselves out of the shoulds and to take action, get out your SLAY sword and go into battle for you, you’re worth it.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay I Did

Slay Say

 

Good morning SLAYER! Be firm in your goals, but flexible in your methods. There may be a way to get what you want just by being open to alternative route.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Fierce

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! We have to admit, our best ideas haven’t always gotten us the best results. We can tell ourselves we’re sticking it out, but are we, or is our stubbornness holding us back? Sometimes we have to learn to let go, trust the process, and bend.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Stuck