Good morning SLAYER! No one can go back and make a brand new start, but you can start now and make a brand new ending.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!
start
If You Don’t Accept It, What Else Are You Going To Do?
When I first stepped on this path I was told that acceptance was the key to all my problems. Well, that’s going to be a problem I thought. How was I going to find acceptance to everything I labeled a problem in my life? I was one stubborn gal back then, I would fight even when I knew I was wrong, so finding acceptance seemed like a tall order, there had to be some other solution where I didn’t have to accept the things I didn’t want to. Well, there wasn’t. It turns out those who had walked before knew what they were talking about. Now, don’t get my wrong, acceptance isn’t about turning over and letting everyone walk over you, but it’s about letting go of the things you can’t change, or have no control over. I know, that still seems like a lot to ask, but it can be done, you’ll have to trust that coming from this reformed stubborn gal.
The reality is, acceptance is the easier of the two options, I know you’re thinking hell no it’s not, but really it is, because when you really break it down, if you don’t accept the things you cannot change you end up spending a lot of useless energy holding resentments or anger towards something that isn’t going to budge just because you won’t accept it. When I think back I wasted so much energy not accepting things. I let it sidetrack me. Distract me. Keep me from being productive and keep me from moving forward. And that was my big revelation when I was finally able to find acceptance, I realized that my inability to accept kept me living in the past, and I was the one holding myself there.
Breaking things down into what I can change and what I cannot keeps things simple for me, especially when I find I am pushing back with some resistance. Also, accepting whatever had happened in the past, that was a big category to start with, but none of us can change the past, so I had to accept it, or find a way, because the alternative was literally killing me. It also helped me to think of those things, in the past, as learning experiences, situations that I could now use to teach me moving forward, and that allowed me to look at those things as positive experiences, even though they may have hurt or been frustrating, or downright infuriating, I could make the choice to look at them as lessons for the future, and when I was able to do that I was able to find acceptance around them.
Really, in a lot of cases, we don’t have much of a choice except to accept. Well, we do have a choice, but the other choice is one were by not accepting things we continually hurt ourselves over something that has already happened. We hold the key to setting ourselves free, that key is acceptance and the trick to unlock the door is humility. When we can set our ego aside or our need to be right, we can find the road to acceptance, and that road is one with fast lane to our own peace of mind and happiness. Vroom vroom SLAYER!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a hard to finding acceptance around things you cannot change? Why is that? What holds you back? What have you not been able to find acceptance around in your life? How has that held you back? How has it gotten in the way of relationships in your life? How can you find a way to accept that situation? How can you work on finding acceptance in your life moving forward? What are the hardest things for you to accept? What are the easiest? What makes the hard ones so hard? Work to find acceptance in your life and cut the cord with your past and those things you cannot change, your life will thank you for it!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! Self confidence is a super power, once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts to happen.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! 80% of success is just showing up.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Just Show Up
There were so many times in my life, before stepping on this path, when I never started things. When I meant to make better choices, different choices, healthier choices, but didn’t feel like I had enough information to start, or it wasn’t the right time, or I thought I should wait for a bigger sign, when really all I had to do was just show up. There are always excuses or reasons not to start something, or show up for someone or yourself, but all that is required is to show up, to do the best you can and figure it out as you go. No one has all the answers. No one. There isn’t some magical guide out there with the right way to do everything. Well, I guess there is, but it’s not something you can hold in your hand, it’s inside of us. Each an every one of us has that magical guide, it burns inside of us and when we connect with it, and listen to it, it shows us, not only by the way we feel, but it will show us in ways we can see, hear and touch. We just have to be open to it.
When I was living in the dark I had turned off that inner guide. My mental illness told me I knew better. that I didn’t need to listen to it, or that it wasn’t actually there at all, but it was, I had just stuffed it down, piled a bunch of stuff on top of it and had numbed myself so much I couldn’t hear it anymore, or feel that it was there. That’s exactly where my disease wanted me, so it could tell me things that weren’t true. It told me that there was no use in starting something new because it wouldn’t work, or I wouldn’t be good at it, or no one would accept me. And since I had turned off my inner guide and wasn’t sharing these thoughts with anyone, I believed it. I watched opportunity after opportunity pass me by and each time I did, I sank deeper in the darkness. The only opportunities not taking those opportunities gave me was the ability to continue to knock myself down and tell myself I wasn’t good enough, that I was too much of a coward to start something new or try to live a better life, or that I wasn’t worth showing up for. It seems so simple, looking back, that each time an opportunity did come up all I had to do was show up to make a difference, to change the pattern I was in, but I stayed where it felt safe, where my disease wanted me, until I had to make a change to save my life.
I can’t say what exactly happened to make me finally show up for myself, I just knew that I had to or I would no longer have a choice. That little bit of light inside of me shined that night as bright as it could, but it was enough, it was enough to ask for help and to finally show up. When I did, I had no idea what to do next, or how things were going to go, but I was there, I was present for me, and I asked for direction from those who had stood where I was, and I kept just showing up, each day, and each day I got stronger, I got better, I started to shine brighter.
You don’t have to know all the answers, or the path you need to be on to change your life. Just show up. Be willing. Be open. Just be. One of my favorite quotes is by Zig Ziglar, it goes “You don’t have to be great to start, but you do have to start to be great.” Just start, because that in itself is great, and if you show up each day ready to start and take on whatever may come, one day you may just realize how great you really are. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you stop yourself from starting something new or something you know is good for you? Why? What’s stops you? What do you tell yourself that stops you? How can you get around this? What should you be starting that you haven’t? What can you do to start? How will starting help you? Focus on the good SLAYER, focus on how showing up can help you grow, help you to move on, and help you to move forward to where you are meant to be. I know that can be scary, walking on a path you’ve never walked, but trust that you are there for a reason, and know that there are many of us walking that same path who will walk with you. You are not alone. Just show up. You’ll see us there.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Say
Good morning SLAYER! When you stop doing nothing and just start to do something, it starts to change everything.
New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!
Slay Slay
Good morning SLAYER! You are enough and you have enough to get started, even if you only have a maybe in your heart, maybe is enough. Start now.
SLAY on!
Maybe Is Enough
Sometimes setting out to start on a new path can seem daunting. The hills you have to climb seem insurmountable, and you can feel defeated long before you even begin. Your mind will tell you you will fail, it will site all the times you’ve let yourself, and others, down, it will tell you you can’t do it, even when you can, but even if all you can muster is maybe I can, that is enough to get you started, to put one foot in front of the other, to take that leap of faith and jump. Maybe is enough. Maybe is the crack of the door being open, maybe is that little bit of light that you need to stay focused, to motivate you to work and maybe give you a place to work to, because if maybe gets you started, maybe can get you to believe that you can.
We all can make excuses for not starting something, we all can procrastinate, we place expectations on ourselves of where we’re supposed to be to get started, or what head-space we’re supposed to have, that we lose sight of the fact that we can just start, any time, any place, we can just choose to start. Nothing has to look any way other than the way it looks. We get to decide when the right time is, we get to decide when we’re ready, what we need to do, the steps we need to take, no one else gets to decide that for us, and when the road gets tough, remember what you’re fighting for, remember why it’s worth it, remember it’s for you. The best time to start may just be right now.
You also don’t have to know all the steps you have you need to get where you want to be, or even have everything in place, all you have to do is start. There have been many times I have started something new not knowing exactly how I was going to get to the finish line, but trusted that if I started that the next piece I needed to reach my goal would come if I just started doing the work, and, it has, every time. It’s about taking action, letting people know what you are trying to accomplish, and being accountable to that goal. When we do those things, magic happens, something shifts and the missing pieces we need seem to come together and help us reach the finish line. Too many times we think we have to have all the pieces before we start, we don’t, all you need is a desire to do something and a belief you can, and you’ve got all the pieces you need to get started.
Don’t let negative self-talk get in the way of going after your dreams, or goals, or starting something new, dig deep and go after what you want, talk about what you want, and do the work to get what you want. No one can tell you what is right or wrong, except you, we make our own rules and we get to decide what is right and wrong for us. Use your strength, your drive, your stamina to go after the life you want to have SLAYER, and when the path seems dark and a little too steep of a hill to climb, remember that maybe is enough to get started, find your light and never lose sight of it, it will always bring you home.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you talk yourself out of things before you’ve even started? Why do you do that? How do you do that? What do you say to yourself? Where does this negative self-talk come from? What do you say to yourself? Would you allow anyone else in your life to speak to yourself like that? So why do you allow yourself? What is a kinder and gentler way to speak to yourself? How can you use words to encourage yourself? When you’ve attempted to start something in past and weren’t able to reach your goal, what stopped you? How can you overcome this for the next time? SLAYER, you have it in to reach your goals, your dreams, that life you want, the time to start is now, even if you don’t know where to begin, begin by taking action, any action, that will get you on the path to victory, trust that when you are doing the footwork the answers will come and you will be shown the next step, the people you will need to help you along the way will come, and what once seemed impossible, in reality, when you just try you may realize that you’ve been enough this whole time. SLAY on!
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
