mindset shift

Release The Need To Judge Yourself Negatively

Why are we always so hard on ourselves?

We hold ourselves to impossible standards, judge our every move, and then wonder why we feel stuck, small, and not good enough.
We speak to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to someone else—calling ourselves idiots, failures, brain-dead, or worse.

And we may not even realize we’re doing it.
That inner dialogue becomes so automatic, so embedded in our thinking, that the jabs feel normal.
But they’re not.
And worse—they’re harmful.

Those words don’t just disappear.
They settle into our energy, into our nervous system, into the way we show up in the world.
And over time, they become the very thing that holds us back from becoming who we are meant to be.

The Judgments That Keep Us Stuck

Before I began my journey in recovery, I judged myself constantly.

Nothing I did was ever “good enough.”
Even when I succeeded, I’d discredit it—call it luck, minimize the achievement, or immediately nitpick what wasn’t perfect.

My expectations were so high, they were built to break me.
And they did. Over and over.

The voice in my head wasn’t just critical—it was cruel.
It kept me sick. It convinced me I’d never be enough. It told me to give up before I even tried.
And I believed it.
I lived inside that mental prison for years.

I’d get these little bursts of self-confidence, moments where I felt like maybe I could do something great.
But the voice always returned—louder, meaner, and more persuasive.
It was a cycle that drained me and kept me from healing.

The Turning Point: Choosing to Get Better

When I finally made the decision to seek help, one of the first things I had to face was my own thinking.

I had to get honest about the way I spoke to myself.
And what I discovered?
I had become my own worst bully.

If anyone else had said the things I said to myself, I never would have stood for it.
So why was I allowing it to happen in my own mind?

That realization changed everything.

I began to:

  • Forgive myself for the judgment
  • Unlearn the habit of self-abuse
  • Practice self-compassion, even when it felt unfamiliar
  • Focus on progress, not perfection

And slowly, something started to shift.
The voice got quieter.
The harsh words faded.
And I started to celebrate myself—for real.

Make Room for Grace

No one gets it right all the time.
We all make mistakes.
We all fall short sometimes.

But that doesn’t mean we’re failures.
It means we’re human.

Mistakes are how we grow.
They help us refine our goals, improve our preparation, and get clearer on what we really want.

And when you set realistic goals—ones that allow for learning, flexibility, and growth—you give yourself a chance to succeed.
Even the smallest win becomes a reason to celebrate.

You Are a Work in Progress (And That’s a Good Thing)

You are not the voice in your head that tells you you’re not enough.
You are not your mistakes.
You are not your worst day.

You are a work in progress—a beautiful, evolving human being.
And your job is not to be perfect.
Your job is to keep going.

So speak to yourself with kindness.
Encourage yourself like you would a best friend.
Celebrate every step, every shift, every bit of progress.

You’re doing better than you think.

SLAY Reflection: How Do You Speak to You?

  1. Do you judge yourself harshly?
    How does that show up in your thoughts or self-talk?
  2. What do you tell yourself when you make a mistake or fall short?
    Would you say the same to someone you love?
  3. How has your inner critic held you back?
    Where would you be if that voice got quieter?
  4. What daily habit could help you be kinder to yourself?
    Affirmations, journaling, gratitude?
  5. What can you do today to encourage and celebrate yourself?
    Start now—pick one thing you’re proud of and name it out loud.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one negative thing you’ve told yourself that you’re ready to replace with kindness?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling with self-judgment, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Just Because You Hit A Bottom Doesn’t Mean You Have To Stay There

For most of us, there’s been a time when we’ve hit bottom.
And for many of us, there have been many.

But just because you find yourself at a bottom doesn’t mean you have to stay there.
In fact, sometimes hitting bottom can be the very thing that propels you upward—it can be a turning point, a wake-up call, a catalyst for change.

What matters most is that you recognize it as a bottom.
And then decide you’re not going to live there.

You Don’t Have to Ride It All the Way to the Dump

Looking back, I had many bottoms before I hit the one that finally brought me to my knees.

There were so many moments I should have asked for help…
So many warning signs I ignored…
So many nights I let myself spiral deeper into darkness.

But the truth is: we’re ready when we’re ready.

And if we’re lucky, we get that one moment—the one where something shifts, where the fear becomes too loud to ignore, and we finally ask for help.

For me, that moment came from fear.
Fear of where my mental illness had taken me.
Fear of where it might take me next.

I don’t know why that particular night was different.
There were many terrifying nights before it.
But that night, I got scared enough to pick up the phone.

And in doing so, I opened the door to my own recovery.

The Power of Saying “Enough”

There’s a saying I love:
“You don’t have to ride the truck all the way to the dump.”

You can get off at any time.

Even in the darkest place, even at your lowest, you have a choice.
You always have the option to get off the path that’s dragging you down.
But you have to believe that it’s possible.
And you have to take action.

When I was deep in my illness, I felt powerless.
Like I was strapped to a runaway train.
But that wasn’t true.

I always had a ticket off that train.
And the moment I picked up the phone and asked for help, I used it.

That one action—speaking my truth—shifted everything.

I didn’t have all the answers yet.
I still had work to do.
But the secret I had been carrying was out.
The weight I had been holding got lighter.
And for the first time, I realized I was in control of my recovery.

Recognizing the Bottom for What It Is

It’s so important to notice your bottoms.
To recognize when you’ve fallen harder than usual.
To acknowledge when you’re staying down longer than you want to.

Because that moment of awareness?
That’s the moment you can begin to rise.

We all fall.
We all struggle.
But no one has to stay in the pit.

Freedom starts with acceptance.
The willingness to see where you are—and the courage to choose something better.

A bottom doesn’t have to be the end of your story.
It can be the beginning of your comeback.

From Rock Bottom to Rise

A bottom might just be the biggest blessing in disguise.

It might be the one thing that finally gets your attention.
The one thing that cracks you open.
The one thing that forces you to stop, reflect, and change direction.

You don’t have to stay down.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone by suffering longer.

Your story is still being written.
And a bottom can be the moment you choose a new chapter.

Use it to rise. Use it to SLAY.

SLAY Reflection: What Is Your Bottom Telling You?

Has a past bottom ever helped you grow or pivot in a new direction?
How can you use that lesson now?

Have you ever hit a bottom in your life?
What were the signs? What did it feel like?

Have you hit multiple bottoms?
What made the most recent one different?

Are you currently in a bottom?
If so, what are you doing about it—or avoiding?

What’s holding you back from asking for help or making a change?
What could shift if you took just one small step?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What helped you recognize a bottom in your life—and what did you do to rise from it?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to climb out of a hard place, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Have To Be At Your Strongest When You Are At Your Weakest

It may sound impossible at times, but in those moments when we feel our weakest, we must dig deep and find our strength.

There have been countless times in my life where I’ve had to rely on an inner strength I didn’t even realize I had. Somehow, just enough rose to the surface to help me push through.

We are all stronger than we think.
And when I take a moment to reflect on everything I’ve overcome, I’m reminded of the strength and courage that carried me.
It helps me in the present.
It prepares me for the future.
Because true strength often reveals itself when everything feels like it’s falling apart.

The Sword May Feel Heavy—But It’s Still There

Looking back on my lowest points, I can admit—I didn’t always use my strength.

There were times I believed I was weak.
Times I gave in to the idea that I was broken or not worth saving.
I had flickers of power, brief moments of energy and clarity, but they’d fade. And that negative voice in my head? It would rush in, louder than ever.

That inner strength—the warrior in me—it was there.
But some days, that sword felt too heavy to lift.

There was one day in particular when I came dangerously close to surrendering.
I was at my lowest. But even then, there was a whisper of strength left inside me.
It wasn’t loud.
It wasn’t flashy.
But it was just strong enough to reach out, to ask for help, to cry for help.
And that moment changed everything.

That quiet strength was enough to rally.
Enough to begin my fight back.

What Strength Really Looks Like

For me, strength isn’t about pushing through everything without feeling.
It’s about showing up—even when it’s hard.

My strength lives in the inner warrior that walks beside me.
It’s the part of me that shields the most vulnerable parts inside.

My strength is spiritual.
It’s rooted in a connection to something greater than myself—a belief that I’m held, even when I’m hurting.

It’s also built from experience:

  • Everything I’ve survived
  • Every fight I’ve fought
  • Every story I’ve shared and heard from others walking similar paths

I also surround myself with people who reflect that strength back to me.
People who remind me who I am when I forget.
And I do the same for them.

Sometimes we need to borrow someone else’s light until we remember our own.

Strength Is a Practice

I’ve learned that strength isn’t something you “find” once and then never lose.
It’s a practice. A choice. A mindset.

I know now that:

  • When I feel weak, I need to seek strength—not hide from it
  • I can’t afford to tell myself I’m powerless, even when I feel that way
  • My strength grows the more I use it, trust it, and share it

And there’s always a small spark inside me—a flame that never goes out, no matter how dark it gets.

That’s what carries me.
That’s what keeps me standing.
And that’s what I want to help you find too.

You Are Stronger Than You Think

We all have strength.
Even if it feels buried. Even if it’s been challenged.
Even if it’s quiet.

If this past year has shown us anything, it’s that we’re still here.
We’ve survived more than we thought we could.
We’ve made it through dark seasons, tough days, and hard truths.
And we’re still standing.

That is strength.

Now is the time to pick up your sword.
To fight for someone who matters—you.
Me. Us.

Dig deep.
Find your strength.
And use it to keep moving forward.

SLAY Reflection: Where Does Your Strength Live?

  1. Can you find your strength even when you feel weak?
    What helps you tap into it?
  2. Have you ever doubted your ability to push through?
    What got you through anyway?
  3. What are some moments in your life when your strength surprised you?
    How did they change you?
  4. Do you remember your past victories when facing something hard?
    How can those reminders serve you now?
  5. Who in your life needs a reminder of their strength?
    Can you share yours with them today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment when you found strength you didn’t know you had?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel strong right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Become The Fears You Dwell On

Most of us have fears.
It’s part of being human.
But when we give too much focus and energy to fear, we risk becoming exactly what we fear most.

Fear can be sneaky like that. It creeps in, takes root, and grows stronger the more we feed it. Eventually, it can start to shape how we think, how we act, and even how we show up in the world—often without us even realizing it.

Fear can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
What we focus on, we feed.
And what we feed, grows.

Fear Is an Invitation

I’ve written before about attracting the kind of energy we want in our lives.
When we live in fear—or negativity—that’s often what ends up circling back to us.

It’s not magic. It’s not instant karma.
It’s energy.
It’s focus.
It’s the silent agreement we make with our fears every time we let them lead.

When I was living in my illness, I was consumed by fear.
It was everywhere—under the surface of every thought, every decision.
And the more I ignored it, the more power it had.
I didn’t want to face it, so I tried to numb it, outrun it, distract myself from it.

But fear doesn’t disappear just because we look away.
It waits. It grows. And eventually, I started to become what I feared most.

When Fear Becomes Identity

I was aware of what was happening.
And still, I didn’t stop it.

I fed my fears with avoidance, with negative thinking, with silence.
And my fear evolved into a kind of paralysis—I couldn’t see a way out, and I wasn’t asking for one.

But then a different kind of fear showed up—the kind that keeps us safe.
The kind that whispers, “You can’t keep going like this.”
The kind that leads to action.

I was terrified of being judged, of being labeled “crazy,” of being too far gone to help.
But I was also terrified of where my life was headed if I didn’t get help.

And that good fear? It won.
I reached out.
I asked for help.
And for the first time, I found a door out.

Reclaiming Power Over Fear

I’ve learned that I don’t have to live in fear.
I still feel it, yes—because again, I’m human.
But I don’t live there anymore.

I’ve learned to acknowledge it when it shows up and then move through it.

Today, I focus on:

  • What I want to see in my life
  • What I hope for
  • What positive energy I can put into the world

I’ve built a spiritual connection that guides me and keeps me grounded.
I stay open to signs and nudges from the universe.
And I trust that fear is not something I have to surrender to.
It’s something I can listen to—but not let lead.

Use Fear as a Signal—Not a Sentence

Fear can be a compass.
Sometimes it points to the exact place where we need to do the most work.

Ask yourself:

  • What am I really afraid of?
  • What small action could I take to begin facing that fear?
  • What would it feel like to stop giving that fear so much power?

This is a challenging time.
But it’s also the perfect time to focus on the good you want to create—for yourself, for your family, for your life.

You don’t have to become what you fear.
You can choose something different.

You can choose to SLAY.

SLAY Reflection: How Are You Using Your Fear?

  1. Do you tend to live in fear or let fear guide your decisions?
    What are you most afraid of right now?
  2. Do you notice yourself becoming what you fear?
    What behaviors or beliefs might be feeding that?
  3. What action could you take today to work through your fear—just one small step?
    What would shift if you took it?
  4. How does fear affect your energy and mindset?
    What happens when you redirect your focus?
  5. How can you bring more positive action into your life today?
    Where can you reclaim your power?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one fear you’re ready to stop feeding, and what action can you take today to move through it?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in fear or letting it lead their life, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Live Between Always and Never

We often live life on autopilot.
We repeat the same routines, stick to the same beliefs, and follow the same patterns—not because they’re working, but because they’re familiar.

We tell ourselves this is just how we are.
We find comfort in the certainty of always and never.
But here’s the thing—certainty doesn’t always lead to progress.

I’ve written before about living in the gray, the in-between.
It’s in that space where change actually happens.
Where new ideas take root.
Where we make space for growth and possibility.

The middle is where transformation begins.

The Trap of Always and Never

Before I walked the path I’m on now, I was all about the extremes.
Always. Never.
I thought I knew what was best for me and I wasn’t interested in hearing otherwise.

I wasn’t happy—but I also wasn’t willing to change.

I stayed stuck. I stayed sick.
And I kept doing the same things over and over, expecting different results.

That wasn’t just frustrating—it was exhausting.
But it was also a product of my mindset.
I was clinging to always and never like a shield, and it was keeping me from moving forward.

The Power of Maybe

Everything began to shift when I allowed just a little room for maybe.

Maybe there’s another way.
Maybe I don’t know everything.
Maybe if I try something different, I’ll get a different result.

Recovery taught me that change only comes when you’re open to it.
I had to let go of the way I had always done things and be willing to try something new.

Was it uncomfortable? Yes.
Was it worth it? Absolutely.

Not everything I tried worked.
But trying was the point.
There were lessons in the failure—and confidence in the attempt.

Even now, I catch myself falling into that never mindset.
But I’ve learned to challenge it.
Because the best things in my life today?
They came from saying yes to something new.
From living in the middle.
From staying open.

Let Go of What’s Holding You Back

Stubbornness might feel like safety, but it often blocks growth.
It keeps us locked in patterns that no longer serve us.
It makes life smaller.

Living between always and never invites in the unknown—and yes, that can be scary.
But it also makes space for beauty, surprise, connection, and healing.

There’s a whole world you haven’t tried yet.
New waters to wade into.
New experiences that could change everything.

You’ll never know how warm the water is unless you take the first step in.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Open to the Middle?

  1. Do you tend to stick to the way you’ve always done things?
    What impact has that had on your life?
  2. Have you ever said no to something new—and later regretted it?
    What was the opportunity, and what did you learn?
  3. What parts of your life would you like to see change?
    Are you willing to try something different to make that happen?
  4. What are some small ways you could move away from always and never?
    How could you make room for maybe or I’ll try?
  5. What’s one thing you can say yes to today that pushes you out of your comfort zone?
    What could open up if you did?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment in your life when saying “maybe” instead of “never” led to something unexpected—or even life-changing?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in patterns that aren’t serving them, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Attract What You Are, Not What You Want

How many times have you asked yourself,
Why do I keep attracting the same kinds of people?
Why do the same patterns keep showing up in my life?
Why does it feel like I’m stuck in a loop?

It’s easy to think we’re just unlucky—or cursed with bad timing or bad energy.
But the truth is often more revealing: we attract what we put out.

And sometimes, what we think we’re putting out…
isn’t what we’re actually radiating at all.

What You Are Speaks Louder Than What You Want

We might see ourselves as kind, supportive, open-hearted people.
We might aspire to positivity, confidence, love, and light.
But if our actions and mindset don’t align with that energy…
we’ll keep attracting something very different.

What shows up in your life isn’t a reflection of your intentions.
It’s a reflection of your state of being.

That’s the hard truth. And also the empowering one.

My Experience: Living in the Dark

When I was deep in my illness, I often wondered why negativity seemed to follow me.
I’d joke that I must’ve done something awful in a past life.

But it wasn’t the universe punishing me—it was me.
It was my thoughts.
My energy.
My expectations.
And my refusal to face how much negativity I was quietly living in.

I tried to be a good person.
I wanted good things.
But my inner dialogue was toxic.
Even when something good would happen, I’d sabotage it with fear, doubt, or shame.

I didn’t feel like a negative person.
But I was living like one.
And the results matched that energy.

You Can’t Fool the Energy Around You

When I began my recovery, I started to see the pattern clearly.

If I expected the worst—I got it.
If I looked for the bad—I found it.
If I pretended to be positive—but was silently drowning in self-judgment—it didn’t matter.
Because energy doesn’t lie.

It wasn’t enough to want better.
I had to become better.

When I did the work—honest, vulnerable, sometimes painful work—things began to shift.

More light came into my life.
More supportive people.
More peace.

Did negativity disappear? Of course not.
But I stopped being drawn to it—and it stopped being drawn to me.

Live It to Attract It

We don’t attract what we hope for.
We attract who we are.

So if the patterns in your life aren’t what you want, don’t just ask, “Why does this keep happening?”
Ask:
“What energy am I really putting into the world?”
“Am I living the way I want to be loved, supported, and respected?”

Because life doesn’t respond to who you say you are.
It responds to how you live.

When you align your heart, mind, and actions with who you want to become—
That’s when the shift happens.
That’s when the energy changes.
And that’s when the right people and opportunities begin to show up.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Attracting?

  1. Are you attracting people or situations that leave you feeling drained or dissatisfied?
    What patterns do you notice?
  2. What don’t you like about what’s showing up—and could it reflect something within you?
    How might your mindset or habits be contributing?
  3. Are you being honest with yourself about the energy you’re giving off?
    What might need to shift?
  4. What would it look like to live as the version of you you want to attract?
    What’s one step toward that today?
  5. How would your life change if you aligned your energy with your true values?
    What would start showing up?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you’ve made that changed what you were attracting into your life—and how did it impact you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who keeps wondering why the same patterns keep repeating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Take Yourself Off The Wheel

Nothing changes if nothing changes.
For years, I did the same things over and over again, expecting different results.
I thought if I kept applying the same approach—harder, louder, longer—somehow life would finally cooperate.

It didn’t.

Every time I repeated the same behavior, I got the same result.
The only thing that changed was how frustrated and exhausted I became.
And when I hit that familiar wall of fear, frustration, and anxiety, the noise in my head got louder—until it drowned out everything else.
I felt stuck. Paralyzed. Powerless.

But the truth?
I had the power all along.
It started with one bold choice: stepping off the wheel I’d been running on for years.

Change Is Uncomfortable—And That’s Okay

Change can feel scary.
Unfamiliar.
Uncomfortable.

Sometimes that discomfort makes us hesitate.
Other times, it’s self-sabotage in disguise—we tell ourselves it’s safer to stay where we are.
That we’re not capable of change.
That we don’t deserve it.
That nothing will really be different anyway.

But that’s a lie.
There is always a way out—or at least a better way forward.
We just have to be willing to take it.

Discomfort Means You’re Growing

If it feels uncomfortable, that’s probably a sign you’re doing the right thing.
It means you’re stepping into new territory.
It means you’re trying something different.
It means you’re finally breaking the cycle.

Change is rarely easy.
But staying stuck is harder.

What helped me most was shifting how I thought about change—not as something to fear, but as something that could bring growth, healing, and expansion.

We aren’t meant to stay where we are forever.
We’re meant to evolve.
To move forward.
To learn and grow.

And that means we have to be willing to do things differently, even when it feels awkward, messy, or uncertain.

The Power of a Single Step

Stepping off the wheel doesn’t require a perfect plan.
It just requires a step.

Even if the first thing you try doesn’t work, you’ll learn something.
That one step might be what sets everything else in motion.
The journey is the point—not just the outcome.

We are not victims of our circumstances.
We may not control every situation, but we can always control how we show up, how we respond, and what we’re willing to change.

Without that inner work, even if we move into new circumstances, we may find ourselves facing the same old patterns in a new setting.

Real change starts from the inside.

It’s Time to Get Off the Wheel

Change takes effort.
But that effort is an investment in you.
In your dreams.
In the life you want.
In the person you’re becoming.

Be willing.
Be curious.
Be brave enough to say yes to what’s new, even if it feels a little scary at first.

You’ve been running in circles long enough.
It’s time to stop the spin.
Jump off the wheel.
And walk forward—with purpose.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Ready to Do Things Differently?

  1. Do you find yourself resisting change?
    What feels uncomfortable or threatening about it?
  2. Are you happy with where you are in life?
    If not, what steps have you taken—or avoided—to shift it?
  3. What patterns have you repeated that no longer serve you?
    Why do you think you’ve stayed in them?
  4. What is one small change you can make today that would move you forward?
    What would it feel like to say yes to that?
  5. What truth are you avoiding because it would require change?
    And what freedom might be waiting on the other side?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve made—or know you need to make—to get off the wheel and create real momentum in your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a cycle they’re ready to break, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Examine What You Tolerate

I used to tolerate a lot.
From other people.
From myself.

I let things slide to avoid conflict.
I ignored red flags because I didn’t want to make waves—or because I was too emotionally and mentally exhausted to face the truth.
And so I allowed bad behavior to take up space in my life, even when it was actively hurting me.

But life isn’t meant to be tolerated.
It’s meant to be lived.
To be enjoyed.
To challenge us, to teach us, and to help us grow.

When we start making excuses for the people, places, and patterns in our lives just so we can “get through” them, we’re not being brave—we’re betraying ourselves.

Tolerating the Things That Keep Us Down

When I was living in the dark, I let most things go—unless I was looking for a fight.
And on the days I was angry at myself, I was often searching for someone else to blame.

I played the victim like it was my role in life.
I pointed fingers outward instead of inward.
And I tolerated behaviors in myself I knew deep down were harmful.

That was the first place I had to start when I began my recovery:
What was I tolerating in myself that was keeping me sick?

Justifying What Needs to Go

I had made excuse after excuse for the choices I was making.
One bad decision would snowball into another, and I would justify every one of them.

I ignored warning signs.
I surrounded myself with people and situations that reinforced my belief that I wasn’t worthy of more.
And I used those experiences as proof that I was a victim of life, rather than someone who had the power to change.

Even when good people showed up in my life, I didn’t know how to let them in.
I had grown more comfortable with pain than with peace.
And that realization was sobering.

From Tolerating to Choosing

As I got honest with myself, I began to see just how much of my pain I had been allowing.
And once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

So I took a stand.

First with myself—by refusing to continue the behaviors that hurt me.
Then outward—by looking at every person, place, and pattern through the lens of self-love.

If it wasn’t helping me grow…
If it wasn’t rooted in respect, support, or truth…
It had to go.

Letting go wasn’t always easy.
But every goodbye made more space for peace.

The Practice of Daily Self-Respect

Even now, as life moves fast and new challenges arise, I have to keep checking in.
When I start tolerating things that don’t serve me, I feel it.
The darkness creeps back in.
The negative voices get louder.
And I know—it’s time to realign.

Self-love isn’t a one-time decision.
It’s a daily practice.
And part of that practice is examining what you’re tolerating—and having the courage to release what no longer honors you.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Still Tolerating?

  1. What have you been tolerating in your life that feels heavy, harmful, or out of alignment?
    Why are you still holding onto it?
  2. How have your own actions contributed to the pain or frustration you feel?
    What patterns need to be disrupted?
  3. Are there people or relationships in your life that take more than they give?
    What would it feel like to set boundaries—or let them go?
  4. What excuses have you made for staying in situations that don’t serve you?
    Where did those excuses come from?
  5. What would change if you stopped tolerating what hurts you—and started choosing what heals you?
    What’s the first step?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve tolerated for too long—and how are you ready to honor yourself by letting it go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s carrying things they no longer have to, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Today I Will Not Stress Over Things I Cannot Control

Easier said than done, right?
Especially now.
It feels like everything—from the world at large to our daily lives—is spiraling beyond our control.

And it’s true: most of life really is outside of our hands.
No matter how hard we try to will something into existence or change an outcome, some things just are.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to live by:
I may not be able to control what happens around me—but I can control how I respond to it.
And that’s where the power is.

The Illusion of Control

When I was living in the dark, I was consumed by control.
Trying to manage everything and everyone.
Manipulating, bargaining, obsessing—believing that if I could just control the situation, I could finally feel safe.

But no matter how hard I tried, life had other plans.
It didn’t care how hard I worked to bend it to my will.
And I exhausted myself trying.

The more I tried to control, the more unmanageable everything became.
It didn’t just wear me out—it wore me down.
My mental health suffered.
My self-worth took a hit.
And I lost myself in the process.

Letting Go Was the Turning Point

When I finally made the decision to change my life, I was told something that made me flinch:
“You have to accept that you can’t control everything.”

That one sentence lit up every fear I had.
I didn’t want to hear it.
But I needed to.

Because as terrifying as letting go felt, holding on was doing more damage.

So I started small.
I worked on myself.
I practiced gratitude.
I focused on the good.
And I gave back where I could.

Slowly, the need to control started to loosen its grip.
And I began to feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time: peace.

The Freedom in Acceptance

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up.
It means accepting reality as it is—and choosing to move forward anyway.
It means doing what you can, where you are, with what you have.

It means focusing on your choices, your behavior, your energy—not the chaos around you.

And when you feel that old need for control creeping in?
Put the focus back on yourself.
Or do something kind for someone else.
It’s a powerful reset.

Because the truth is, trying to control what’s out of your hands only ends up controlling you.

What I Can Do Today

There are still plenty of things I can’t control—and many of them deeply disturb me.
But I’ve learned that obsessing over what I can’t change doesn’t help.

What does help?
Doing what I can.

I show up for myself.
I show up for others.
I make better choices.
And I leave the rest.

Because acceptance isn’t giving up—it’s breaking free.

SLAY Reflection: Where Are You Holding On Too Tight?

  1. Do you stress over things that are out of your control?
    What are they—and how do they affect your peace?

  2. How has your need for control shaped your relationships, habits, or mental health?
    What patterns do you see?

  3. What’s one area of your life where you could let go a little more today?
    How would that feel?

  4. What are you really afraid of when you try to control everything?
    Is it fear of failure? Rejection? Uncertainty?

  5. What would shift if you focused on your response, rather than the outcome?
    Where can you put your energy to use in a healthier way?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re ready to stop stressing over because you’ve realized it’s out of your control?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the loop of control and frustration, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Faith Is Hope With A Track Record

Some days, it’s harder to write than others.
Especially on the days when my light feels dim, when I’m tired, and when the fire that usually fuels me flickers a bit lower.

Today is one of those days.
And yet—these are often the days I most need to write.
To remind myself of what I know deep down:
This moment will pass.
This weight I’m feeling isn’t forever.
And no matter how disconnected or overwhelmed I feel, I’ve made it through harder days than this.
Faith reminds me of that.

Life may feel uncertain and unsteady at times, but faith is what brings me back to center.
Because faith isn’t just a feeling—it’s a belief rooted in evidence.
It’s hope that’s been tested. And proven.

From Hopelessness to Hope

Before I began this journey, I didn’t have much faith.
In fact, I didn’t even have much hope.
My mind always defaulted to the worst-case scenario.
And on the rare occasion I dared to hope, I quickly snuffed it out with a familiar voice in my head that told me I didn’t deserve good things.

But then someone shared their story with me.
Where they had been.
What they had come through.
And where they were now.

That single story sparked something.
A flicker of hope.
It was small, but it was enough to help me pick up the phone and ask for help.
And that call changed everything.

How Faith Is Built

Hope came first.
Faith came later.

Because faith doesn’t magically show up—it builds over time.
It’s earned through experience, through consistent effort, and through the proof that change is possible when we do the work.

As I began taking positive steps in my recovery, I started to notice shifts in my life.
Support showed up.
Healing began.
My mental health improved.
And slowly, I started to believe that I could feel better.
That I could build a different kind of life.

That belief—backed by action—became my faith.

Faith Isn’t Passive. It’s a Practice.

Faith isn’t just sitting back and hoping things will change.
It’s rolling up your sleeves and doing the work because you believe change is possible.

Faith can be rooted in something greater than ourselves.
In a higher power.
In the belief that we’re being guided or protected.

But it’s also in the way we show up every day—especially on the hard days.
When we take small, positive actions even when we don’t feel like it.
When we keep moving forward, even if we’re unsure of the destination.
That’s faith in motion.

Share the Flame

Today, if you’re in a low place, remind yourself of what you’ve already overcome.
Look back at the track record of your survival, your growth, your strength.

Faith is built on the moments you didn’t think you’d get through—but did.

And if you’re struggling to find your faith today, start with hope.
Hold onto that spark and trust that it will grow.

If your flame feels dim, share it anyway.
Because when we pass our light to someone else, it only gets brighter.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Holding Onto Faith or Reaching for Hope?

  1. Do you feel connected to your faith today?
    If yes, how does it support you? If not, what’s made you feel disconnected?

  2. Did you always have faith—or did you find it later in life?
    What helped you begin to believe again?

  3. When you think about hope, what comes up for you?
    Are you nurturing it—or avoiding it?

  4. What action helped you move from hope into faith?
    What did you do that built trust in your own journey?

  5. Who in your life might need a reminder that faith is possible?
    How can you be the light that helps spark theirs?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one moment in your life where hope turned into faith—and how did that change your path?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s searching for that spark, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.