We’ve all had those moments—when someone gets under our skin, disrupts our peace, and throws our entire day off course. Sometimes, it’s a conversation. Other times, it’s a repeated behavior. And before we know it, we’re consumed—playing it over and over in our minds, stewing in frustration, resentment, or defeat.
But here’s the truth:
They only have that power if we hand them the keys.
For a long time, I didn’t see that.
I thought I was just a victim of circumstance, or worse—other people.
But what I was really doing was giving away control.
Letting someone else take the wheel.
And then wondering why I kept crashing.
The Cost of Handing Over the Wheel
In my past, I gave away the keys to my peace all the time.
Sometimes it was people-pleasing—I didn’t want anyone to be upset with me, so I’d go along with something even when it didn’t feel right.
Other times, I hoped that if I just tolerated enough, something good would eventually come of it.
And then there were times I gave away control so I could keep telling the same story: that I was the victim.
That life happened to me.
That I had no power.
It kept me sick.
It kept me stuck.
And it kept me in relationships, situations, and patterns that were not good for me.
Recovery Handed Me Back the Keys
When I began my recovery journey, one of the first things I had to do was take radical responsibility for my own life.
That meant owning my choices.
Being honest with myself about my part.
And realizing that I could no longer blame other people for how I felt, what I did, or what direction my life was going in.
It was sobering at first.
But also liberating.
Because if I had the power to give the keys away…
I also had the power to take them back.
Who’s Driving?
Here’s what I’ve learned:
You can’t complain about where your life is going if you’ve let someone else steer.
Yes—people may have opinions.
Yes—they might try to sway you.
But at the end of the day, you are the one in the driver’s seat.
You decide what’s best for you.
You set the course.
And if someone keeps reaching for the wheel?
It might be time to rethink whether they belong in your vehicle at all.
Emotional Hijacking
Letting someone else “drive” doesn’t always look like direct control.
Sometimes, it’s letting a comment ruin your whole day.
Or replaying an argument in your mind on loop.
Or getting pulled into drama that has nothing to do with you.
These are all ways we give our power away.
All ways we hand over the keys—without even realizing it.
Today, I choose to drive.
Even when the road gets bumpy.
Even when I make a wrong turn.
Because it’s my journey, and I’d rather learn from my own mistakes than crash because someone else took the wheel.
SLAY Reflection: Who’s Driving Your Life?
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Do you let others emotionally hijack your peace?
What triggers this—and how often does it happen?
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Have you given someone the power to influence your thoughts, decisions, or direction?
How does that make you feel?
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Are you holding onto resentment or trying to control situations that no longer involve you?
What would happen if you let that go?
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Is there someone in your life who repeatedly tries to take the wheel?
Is that a healthy relationship—or something that needs to shift?
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What can you do today to take your power back and stay in the driver’s seat?
What boundary needs to be drawn—or reinforced?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever handed someone else the keys to your peace—and what did it take to take them back?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s giving away their power, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
