Author: Carrie Genzel

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Pain is real, but so is hope.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Pain Power

Is The Pain Of Change Greater Than The Pain Of Staying The Same?

Lately, with more free time at home, many of us are noticing those areas of our lives that might need some attention. With fewer distractions from the outside world, those lingering issues—things we were able to push aside before—are now front and center. It’s like life has paused just long enough for us to see what we’ve been avoiding.

For so long, I was a master at avoiding change. I could dig my heels in so deeply that I almost got stuck in place. Fear, low self-esteem, and shame had me convinced that if I ignored the signs, they would just fade away. But of course, they didn’t.
The more I resisted, the more pain I created for myself.

Looking back, I see that most of that pain was self-inflicted. I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—recognize my part in the situation. I told myself that everyone else needed to change, not me. That mindset kept me in the dark and let me play the victim. But what I didn’t realize was that by doing this, I was giving away my power. I was letting my pain control me instead of facing it head-on.

It wasn’t until the pain became unbearable that I finally surrendered. I had to get to that breaking point to become willing to change. And even then, change didn’t come all at once.
It was a slow, sometimes painful process, where I learned to let go of behaviors and patterns that no longer served me.

The Truth About Change

Here’s the thing:
Change is rarely easy, but it’s worth it.
Even now, with over 14 years on this path, I still find myself faced with the need for change. Sometimes it sneaks up on me. Behaviors I thought I had conquered creep back in. It’s humbling to admit that I need to deal with them again.

But the difference today is that I catch them sooner. I’ve learned to set aside my ego and get honest with myself. Change doesn’t have to mean chaos—it can mean growth. It can mean stepping into a stronger, more authentic version of myself.

The Choice is Yours

We have a choice:

  • Stay stuck in the familiar discomfort.

  • Or face the temporary discomfort of change.

Yes, change can be scary. It can be painful. But staying the same—living in patterns that no longer serve us—often hurts more. It’s the slow, grinding kind of pain that wears us down day after day.

This time in the world is an opportunity. We’re all experiencing shifts and uncertainty. Why not use this moment to make the changes we know we need to make? Why not come through this better, stronger, and more aligned with who we want to be?

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you wait for the pain to become unbearable before you change?
Why do you wait?
Do you believe you deserve to suffer? Why?
What scares you about change? What do you think you need to change right now?
What small step can you take today to create a lasting positive impact?
There has never been a better time to break free from old patterns and choose a path that leads to your best self.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve been putting off that could bring more light into your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other in breaking free from the past and embracing the changes we need.
And if you know someone who needs this message—share it with them.
Together, we rise.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! What is meant to be will always find it’s way.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Blast Off

You Can’t Open A Flower With A Sledgehammer

I mean, technically you can—but it won’t be pretty.

That’s true for life too. We can force things, try to speed them up, or push them into place. But more often than not, we end up destroying what could have been something beautiful by trying to control everything.

I spent so much of my life doing just that. Forcing. Pushing. Demanding. Always expecting a different result. That’s the very definition of insanity, right? It wasn’t until I learned to let go, to stop trying to force life to move on my schedule, that I started to see things bloom naturally.

Letting Go of Control

Learning to let things unfold in their own time was not easy. Just thinking about letting go of control used to make my anxiety spike. But here’s the truth: I was never really in control. I only thought I was. And realizing that—finally—was liberating.

I had always been a bit of a bull in a china shop, diving into situations without a plan and then trying to figure it all out on the fly. If I thought of life as a delicate flower, it reminded me to be gentle, to pause, and to let it open on its own.

It’s not about doing nothing—it’s about doing the footwork and then stepping back. My old fear-based thinking had me believing that I needed to control everything to keep the fear at bay. But in reality, trying to control made the fear grow stronger. Letting go, breathing, and trusting the process helped ease the anxiety and made space for the right things to happen.

The Sledgehammer Mentality

We all have wants, desires, and goals. But coming at them swinging a sledgehammer won’t get us any closer. It usually pushes them further away.

It’s easy to forget that everyone else has their own wants and needs too. And maybe, just maybe, what we think we want isn’t what’s actually best for us. Sometimes, when we loosen our grip a little, life brings us something even better than what we were trying to force into place.

So the next time you feel yourself reaching for the metaphorical sledgehammer, take a breath. Step back. Let life unfold. You might just be surprised at what blossoms.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you tend to force things to happen or do you let things unfold as they will?
Do you come at life like a bull or do you take the time to investigate and thoughtfully move through life?
If not, what can you do to slow down and look at things instead of just charging for the finish line?
Give an example when you used a sledgehammer in a situation and it backfired.
Give an example when you backed off a little and things went smoothly.
What was different about the time you backed off over the time you used a sledgehammer?
Why do you sometimes take out a sledgehammer instead of letting things unfold in their own time?
Forcing our way usually doesn’t give us the results we want, and even if we do get them, often we stomp on someone else to make it happen.
So why not put the sledgehammer down, do what you can, and stay out of the way of the results? You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens next.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
When was the last time you tried to force something and it backfired? When did you let go, and it worked out beautifully?
Share your stories in the comments. Let’s support each other in learning to put down the sledgehammer.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share it with them.
We grow by learning—and letting go—together.

SLAY TALK LIVE Video

Hey SLAYERS! Sorry for those of you who were confused as to where to find us, we had to move to Facebook LIVE, and, for those who didn’t join us, here’s what you missed!

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Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Our greatest ability is to learn and adapt.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Just Flow With It

Go With The Flow

I’m the kind of person who usually has everything organized: calendars filled with appointments and reminders, lists of tasks, and a clear schedule for the days ahead. I like to be prepared and avoid surprises. But in these unpredictable times, when plans keep shifting moment by moment, I’m learning a crucial lesson—to go with the flow.

Just yesterday, I found myself overwhelmed as I tried to stick to my day’s schedule. With appointments canceled and plans reshuffled, I was racing down the street, rambling on the phone, heart racing, temperature rising—until I caught myself. I realized I wasn’t going to force things into being normal. The only way forward was to let go of what I thought should happen, and reassess what could happen with the tools and resources I had right then.

Not everything would get done neatly or on time—and that’s okay. The most important thing isn’t my checklist or calendar. It’s my mental health, my availability to support my family and friends, and my ability to be of service.

Letting Go of Control

Before walking this path, I was constantly forcing my will on everything and everyone. I had a clear vision of how things should go, and I fought hard to make them happen. That created tension, anxiety, and frustration—not just for me, but for the people around me.

When I finally surrendered to a healthier way of living, I learned to release my grip on control. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t plan or set goals—but we need to let go of rigid expectations and outcomes. Accepting things as they are brought me a sense of peace I’d never experienced before.

The truth is, we don’t control most things in life. The only things we can truly control are our actions and reactions. The more I learned to let go, the more peace I found.

Finding a New Rhythm

In these times of constant change, it’s important to embrace the reality of the moment. Think of yourself as a surfer riding the waves—adjusting, adapting, and finding balance as the waves come.

This is a perfect time to slow down, take care of ourselves and our loved ones, and refocus on what truly matters. Instead of stressing over to-do lists or canceled plans, let’s prioritize our physical and mental well-being.

When things shift unexpectedly, take a deep breath. Slow down. Go with the flow. We’re all figuring out a new rhythm, and instead of forcing the old one, why not embrace a healthier, more flexible beat?

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you find yourself stressing out when your plans change or cancel?
How does that stress make you feel?
Does it help or harm you?
What can you do to release stress when it creeps in?
How can you practice letting go of expectations when things don’t turn out the way you planned?
Can you find a new rhythm, one that supports your mental and physical health instead of fueling stress?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve embraced a “go with the flow” mindset recently? How did it help?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s lift each other up as we learn to navigate life’s unpredictability.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share this blog with them.
We’re all in this together.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Your day is not ruined. Your world is not over. Take a deep breath and start over.

New blog goes up Friday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Creating Better

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Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Reset. Readjust. Restart. Refocus. As many times as you need to.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Another Chance

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You Can Start Your Day Over At Any Time

Even when we wake up with the best intentions—determined not to let the world, our own mood, or the actions of others throw us off course—things can still derail. Maybe a negative thought creeps in, or an unexpected challenge throws us for a loop, and just like that, our good day starts spiraling. It’s easy to let it snowball into frustration or defeat.

But here’s the thing: we always have the power to reset.
No matter how far off track things feel, we can hit pause, regroup, and start fresh.

I like to joke that when technology stops working, my go-to solution is to “plug it out.” Unplugging and reconnecting works wonders for electronics—and it works for us too. When in doubt, take a deep breath, step back, and give yourself a fresh start.

From All or Nothing to Progress Over Perfection

When I was living in the dark, I was trapped by an all-or-nothing mindset. I’d start my day determined to be positive, but as soon as something went wrong—or as soon as negative thoughts piled up—I’d throw in the towel. One setback, and I’d tell myself the whole day was ruined.

What I didn’t realize was that I was giving away my power. My day didn’t have to be derailed just because I’d made a mistake or things weren’t perfect. When I began to embrace this path of growth and self-love, I learned to see each setback as an opportunity to learn.

Instead of beating myself up, I’d ask: What can I do differently next time?
I practiced gratitude, wrote down positive affirmations, and even carried a list of things I was thankful for in my pocket to remind me that I could always choose to see things differently. And when all else failed, I’d reach out to help someone else—because getting out of my own head and being of service always helped me reset.

A Reset is Always Within Reach

It’s easy to let a bad moment hijack our whole day. But we don’t have to let it.
We have the power to stop, breathe, and start over at any moment.

You are not a victim of your thoughts or circumstances.
You are not bound by your old patterns.
You can choose—again and again—to turn things around.

Remember, every day is a new chance, and every moment is an opportunity to begin again.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you give yourself a restart when your day takes you off course?
Or do you let it pull you down?
How long do you stay stuck? Why?
What stories do you tell yourself about deserving to stay down?
Have you found ways to restart your day? What are they?
When you hit the restart button, what message are you sending yourself?
It’s okay to mess up or feel frustrated—but what matters is what you choose to do next.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
When was the last time you gave yourself permission to restart your day? How did it feel?
Share your experience in the comments below. Let’s lift each other up with stories of resilience and reset.
And if you know someone who could use this reminder, send this blog their way.
We rise by lifting each other.