slay on

Dress Up To Feel Up

For most of us right now, we spend most—if not all—of our time at home. With work shifts, working from home, or simply staying in, our biggest decision on wardrobe might be which pair of stretchy or sweatpants to throw on. And while that feels good for a while, it can also start to weigh us down emotionally, whether we realize it or not.

It’s amazing how dressing up—or even just getting dressed—can shift our mindset and spark a little lightness in our day.

The Power of Expression

For anyone who knows me, you know I love my fashion. I love to dress up, to express myself through what I’m wearing, and to share whatever side of my personality feels right that day. I’ve always lived by the motto that it’s better to be overdressed than underdressed.

But during these days, weeks, and dare I say months, where events, gatherings, and date nights out have disappeared, my closet isn’t seeing much use. Sure, I walk in there, take a look around, and think about what I might wear if I had somewhere to go. In the early days, I still dressed up for grocery runs or errands. But as time went on, I found myself dressing down to blend in—for safety and comfort.

That doesn’t mean, though, that I can’t throw on a cute outfit while I’m at home.

A Boost of Confidence

We take pride in looking good. Looking good often leads to feeling good. And at a time when we might feel uncertain, fearful, or just plain bored by the sameness of days at home, dressing up can give us a much-needed boost.

I’ve spoken with friends who still dress for work, even though their “office” is now their living room. They say it puts them in a professional mindset, helps them get more done, and lifts their self-esteem when they catch a glimpse of themselves looking put-together in the mirror.

For those who think that might be a bit much, or whose jobs don’t typically require dressing up, why not pick a night—maybe a Friday or Saturday—and dress up anyway? People are hosting virtual parties, dressing up for dinners or drinks with friends, or celebrating birthdays and milestones.

But why wait for an occasion? Why not celebrate yourself, just as you are?

You Deserve It

Pick out something that makes you feel good. It could be your favorite pair of jeans, a statement piece from your closet, or even a touch of sparkle. It may just be the mood boost you need during a time when your social calendar is empty.

Make the effort: do your hair, plan an outfit, put on something special—just for yourself. Because you’re worth it. You deserve to look your best.

I know I have a few sparkly things in my closet calling my name—long overdue for a spin around the house.

Create Your Own Occasion

Even if there’s no event on the calendar, create one. Make the occasion you. See how it lifts your mood, and maybe even inspires others to do the same.

Maybe tonight is the night. A Fancy Friday party. A night to remind yourself of who you are and what you love. Put on a special outfit that reminds you of a moment you felt radiant and strong.

Plan a date night at home—even if it’s a date with yourself. Show yourself appreciation, love, and respect. Let your best, beautiful self shine.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Have you been getting up and dressing for the day, or slipping into the most comfortable clothes from the day before?

  • How does it make you feel when you dress up?

  • How does it make you feel when you don’t?

  • Do you typically enjoy dressing up?

  • Have you been dressing to work from home? If yes, how does it make you feel? If not, why not?

  • How do you think dressing up at home might affect your mood?

  • Find a day or night to dress your best, and see if it lifts your spirits during these days at home.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
When was the last time you dressed up for yourself, and how did it make you feel?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been feeling stuck in a routine, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little sparkle to remind us who we are.

Accept The Gifts

For many of us, it isn’t easy asking for help or accepting it. During this time, it’s near impossible to do everything on our own. Life, very often, presents opportunities for us to not only humble ourselves and ask for what we need but also offers a chance for someone else to step up and be of service.

I’ve written before that it’s okay to ask for help. In fact, when we do, most of the time, it not only helps us but also helps the person we ask. It’s funny how that works. Just like when we need to talk to someone about what we’re going through—the person we open up to usually gets just as much out of the conversation as we do.

Releasing the Armor

When I was living in the dark, it was very difficult for me to ask for help. I thought it was a sign of weakness. I was proud to push through on my own, no matter what the collateral damage was. There were times when I’d gotten myself into situations I couldn’t get out of and was forced to ask for help, and I’d beat myself up for doing it. Or, in my twisted thinking, I’d justify it—I thought the help was owed to me because of past grievances, some imagined, some real.

Eventually, I realized that asking for help was not only necessary but an act of courage. That first reach-out was terrifying, but it was also a huge relief. It was the moment I took my power back.

Practicing the Art of Acceptance

Learning to continue asking for help and accepting the gifts that came my way was its own journey. For me, finding acceptance in myself and learning to love myself was the key to accepting gifts from others—and from life. I’m not just talking about physical gifts. Gifts come in many forms: a smile, a warm hug, a kind word.

I had to learn to believe I was worthy of receiving these gifts. I had to trust there wasn’t an ulterior motive and that these gestures were given from the heart. It took time, but the more I learned to simply say thank you and accept them, the easier it became. And the more I gave of myself—my time, my kindness—the more I understood the power of these simple gestures.

Don’t Steal the Gift

When we refuse a gift or brush off a compliment, we’re telling the giver they’re wrong. That doesn’t feel good to anyone. To simply say thank you and leave it at that is a practice of grace. It allows us to learn to accept good things and allows the other person the experience of giving.

Right now, we can all benefit from both giving and receiving. But it’s essential for our spirit and self-worth to practice receiving with gratitude. When we do, it fills our hearts, shows us we’re worthy of kindness, and reminds us we deserve good things.

Don’t let pride or discomfort block these moments. Nothing happens by mistake. There’s a reason for the giver and the receiver, and it may be bigger than either of you can imagine. If you feel compelled to give, do it. If you’re the lucky recipient, smile, say thank you, and know you were chosen for a reason.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you have a hard time accepting gifts? Why do you think that is?

  • What was the last gift you accepted? How did it make you feel?

  • What was the last gift you gave? How did that make you feel?

  • Can you see how important it is to accept the gifts that come your way?

  • Why do you feel others deserve gifts more than you do? Why do you think you’re not worthy?

You are worthy, SLAYER. Gifts come into our lives to show us something, to lift our spirits, or to bring us closer together. Trust that the gifts coming your way are there for a reason. Say thank you, and feel it in your heart.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one gift—big or small—you’ve accepted lately, and how did it make you feel?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other.

And if you know someone who needs this reminder, send this to them.
Sometimes, a simple gesture says: “You’re worthy of good things, too.”

It’s OK To Feel Out Loud

I used to believe that showing my feelings meant weakness.
For most of my adult life, I stuffed down every emotion I thought was “bad,” “embarrassing,” or would put a negative light on me.

When those feelings bubbled up, I’d shame myself. I told myself I was stronger for not showing them. And I looked down on others who wore their emotions on their sleeves.

I thought I was in control.
But the truth was, I was being controlled—by fear, by self-judgment, by the belief that emotions were dangerous.

And it worked… until it didn’t.

The Truth About Suppressed Emotions

Eventually, I couldn’t hold it all in anymore.
Those feelings I refused to acknowledge started eating me up inside. They fueled the negative self-talk that looped in my mind, telling me I was “less than,” “unworthy,” and “weak.”

I had to learn—slowly, painfully—that feeling my feelings wasn’t dangerous.
Trying to keep them hidden was.

When I finally reached out for help, I stripped away the distractions and coping mechanisms that kept me from facing how I truly felt.

It was terrifying. I felt exposed, raw, and fragile.
At first, I thought I couldn’t handle it. The emotions overwhelmed me, and my anxiety spiked. But I was encouraged to breathe through them, to sit with them, and to talk with others who understood.

Even then, I tried to keep up appearances.
I remember sitting in a support group, listening to another woman share her truth, and recognizing my own story in hers. My eyes filled with tears, but I fought to keep them hidden.

A friend noticed. She placed a gentle hand on my knee and said, “It’s OK to be sad.”
It was the first time anyone had given me permission to just… feel.

So I let go. And I cried.

The Power of Feeling Out Loud

That moment changed me.
I realized that suppressing my feelings wasn’t strength—it was isolation.

Over time, I learned that sharing my feelings—when safe and appropriate—allowed me to connect with others. It helped me release the weight I carried alone.

I gave others permission to feel their feelings, too.
I discovered that when we let ourselves feel out loud, we remind others that they’re not alone.

Your Feelings Deserve Space

There’s nothing wrong with having feelings—sadness, fear, anger, joy, love.
But there’s something deeply harmful in denying them.

When we stuff them down, they don’t disappear.
They fester, attaching themselves to other experiences, or exploding when we least expect it.

Letting your feelings out is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of honesty. It’s a way of staying connected to your truth.

Feel your feelings. Feel them out loud. Let them move through you, and then let them go.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you share your feelings, or do you keep them bottled up?

  • If you don’t, what holds you back?

  • If you do, how does it feel afterward?

  • Have you always been open with your feelings, or was there a time you hid them?

  • What changed?

  • What feelings do you still struggle to show?

  • What might happen if you let them out today?

Find the courage to feel, SLAYER.
Let your feelings out. Let them go.
Free yourself from the weight you’ve been carrying.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What feelings do you find hardest to express, and what’s one small step you can take today to give those feelings space?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other in honoring our emotions.

And if you know someone who might need a reminder that it’s OK to feel out loud, send this to them.
Sometimes, a gentle nudge is all we need to step into our truth.

Smize, It Might Just Change Your Life

For most of my adult life, I believed that strength meant hiding my feelings. But during these times, when our faces are hidden behind masks, I’ve realized just how much we rely on simple gestures to connect. I used to share smiles freely, but now, I’ve had to get creative.

It reminded me of Tyra Banks and her famous “smize”—smiling with your eyes. I chuckled, thinking how those skills could come in handy today. While it might seem silly, that little spark of connection through our eyes can make a big difference, especially when we feel disconnected from one another.

Small Gestures, Big Impact
I’ve always believed in the power of simple acts—saying thank you, sharing a smile, letting someone know they’re seen. But with masks and distancing, it takes extra effort. And that effort makes it even more meaningful.

Now, I find myself waving, giving a thumbs-up, or sharing a kind word. These small acts might seem insignificant, but they create a ripple effect of compassion. When we step out of our own discomfort to connect with others, it not only lifts their spirits but ours too.

From Isolation to Connection
When I was living in the dark, I wanted to hide from the world. I didn’t want anyone to see my pain. I avoided interaction, kept my head down, and hurried through my days. But on my path to healing, I was encouraged to do the opposite—to look up, to smile, to reach out.

At first, it felt forced and uncomfortable. My anxiety spiked. I thought I had nothing to offer. But I was told to “act as if” I believed I did. And slowly, as I made the effort to smile, to thank someone, to ask how their day was, something shifted. People responded with warmth and gratitude. I began to feel connected, and my anxiety eased.

A Simple Connection Matters
The truth is, we don’t always know what others are going through. A smile, a kind word, or even a “smize” might be the only positive interaction someone has that day. It might be the thing that lifts their spirits or reminds them they’re not alone.

Especially now, when the world feels uncertain and heavy, these small acts of kindness carry weight. They remind us that we’re in this together. Even a simple acknowledgment—a wave, a nod, a smile through the eyes—can be a beacon of light in someone’s day.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you go out of your way to let people know they matter while you’re out?

  • How do you do that?

  • What can you do to do more?

  • How have people done that with you? Have you appreciated it?

  • How did that make you feel?

  • What can you do today to let someone know they matter?

  • How is that different than how you would usually do it?

We all have the power to make someone’s day brighter. And by doing so, we make our own days a little brighter too. Smize on, SLAYER.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one small act of kindness you’ll try today to brighten someone’s day?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s inspire each other with simple ways to stay connected.

And if you know someone who needs a little light today, send this to them.
Sometimes, a simple gesture reminds us we’re not alone.

Adversity Shows Us Who We Are

In my journey, I’ve been through deep adversity before, and it has always shown me who I am. I haven’t always liked what I’ve seen, but I’ve come to understand that I have the power to change it.

Facing Ourselves

In our daily lives, we often fill our days with busyness—things that distract us from what we may not want to face about ourselves: our behaviors, our patterns, and the places we choose to live emotionally day after day. It’s easy to focus on other people, on places and things, and avoid the inner work that requires honesty. For much of my adult life, I did exactly that. I numbed, distracted, and ran from myself until I hit an emotional and spiritual bottom. Suddenly, I had no choice but to face who I truly was.

It wasn’t easy. I had spent so long running from my feelings and stuffing down the emotions I didn’t want to admit even existed. Looking at myself felt nearly impossible. But adversity leaves us with two choices: give up and sink deeper or choose to fight for our lives.

Surrender Is Strength

The adversity I faced with my mental health forced me into a corner. To survive, I had to surrender and ask for help. The word surrender used to feel like weakness to me. I thought it was something only people who weren’t strong did. But the moment I let go, the moment I admitted I couldn’t do it alone, was the strongest decision I ever made.

That act of surrender allowed me to take my power back. It was only the start—I had to continue to be honest about myself and my past. That honesty wasn’t always easy, but if I was ever going to build a life worth living, I had to stop hiding behind lies and half-truths. I had to commit to showing up for myself fully.

Looking in the Mirror

When the curtain is pulled back and all you’re left with is a mirror, there is no moment more humbling. I stood there and saw hate, sadness, and defeat staring back at me. But I was encouraged to find even one small good thing, one spark of light. It was hard at first, but even the smallest bit of goodness was a starting point. From there, I could begin to rebuild.

The journey from self-hatred to self-love wasn’t easy, but every step, every tear, and every hard truth was worth it. Today, I can look in the mirror with compassion and gratitude for how far I’ve come.

Adversity in the Present

Today, we face a new kind of adversity. It’s one that isn’t of our own making, but it affects every part of our lives. As we’re forced to slow down, to pause the busyness we’ve come to rely on, this adversity is holding up a mirror once again.

This time offers us the opportunity to see who we truly are. If we don’t like what we see, life is giving us a chance to change. Maybe that’s one of the greatest lessons from this pause: a reset, an opportunity to return to ourselves and realign with what really matters.

This is a time to shine—not only for ourselves but for those who need our light. It’s an invitation to reflect, to reset, and to emerge stronger and more grounded.

Are you liking what adversity is showing you? If not, it’s time to get to work.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

  • Have there been times in your life where adversity has shown you who you are?

  • Did you like what you saw?

  • What did you do to change that?

  • During this time of adversity, are you liking what you’re seeing?

  • What don’t you like? What can you do to change it?

  • Reflect and make some changes. Love yourself through them, and remember: we’re all walking through this together.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What has adversity shown you about yourself, and how are you working to change or embrace that?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s navigating their own adversity, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Solidarity In Solitude

There was a time when solitude wasn’t something I chose—it was something I used to survive.
Before recovery, I isolated myself because I was afraid of being seen. Not seen in the beautiful, vulnerable, soul-baring way—but seen in the truth-revealing way. I was scared someone would notice the mess I had become.

So, I disappeared. I self-quarantined long before the world made it a shared experience. I believed I was safer alone, but really, I was hiding—from you, from judgment, and mostly, from myself.

It’s been over 14 years since I spoke my truth and reached for help, but during global moments of isolation—when the world closes its doors—I can still feel echoes of those darker days. I remember what it was like to live in solitude and mistake it for safety.

When Solitude Turns to Isolation

Solitude can be healing. But left unchecked, it can slip into something more dangerous: isolation.
When routines fall away, when connection fades, and when fear rises—our minds can convince us we’re better off alone. That no one wants to hear from us. That we’re too much, or not enough.

Sound familiar?

In times like these, it’s easy to slide down the emotional spiral. To disconnect. To feel like you’re the only one struggling. But that’s a lie the darkness tells us. Because you are not alone. And you are not the only one who feels this way.

We’ve all lost something—our routines, our rhythm, sometimes even loved ones. We’re all navigating this new version of life with uncertainty in our hearts. And yet, in the stillness, there’s a new kind of connection forming. One that doesn’t require proximity—but vulnerability.

The Power of Reaching Out

Connection doesn’t always have to look big. Sometimes, it’s a text. A check-in. A voice memo that simply says, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you.”

For me, reaching out is part of my daily practice. It’s tied to my recovery and to my ability to stay grounded. On days when I’m struggling, being of service—asking someone else how they’re doing—pulls me out of my head and into something greater than myself.

When we shift our attention from our own anxiety to someone else’s experience, we gain clarity. We create space for compassion. And we remember: we’re never really alone.

You don’t need a grand gesture to make a difference. Sometimes just asking “How are you really?” is enough to change someone’s day. And, maybe, your own.

Solitude as a Shared Experience

Something beautiful has happened during times of collective pause: we’ve reached for one another. We’ve shared our fears, our frustrations, our funny moments. We’ve created art, music, stories—and sent them out like lifeboats into the unknown.

We’ve remembered what matters most: people. Connection. Empathy. And in this shared stillness, we’ve found solidarity.

We’re walking forward—not hand in hand, but heart to heart. And though we may be separated by space, our spirits remain side by side.

We were never meant to do this alone. Not healing. Not grieving. Not growing.

We Are Stronger Together

When we choose to stay connected—even in the smallest ways—we create a safety net. We tether ourselves to something real. And if one of us starts to drift, there’s someone who will notice. Someone who will reach back and say, “You’ve been quiet. Are you okay?”

That’s the power of community. That’s the gift of solidarity.

So, if you’ve been isolating—whether out of fear, shame, exhaustion, or uncertainty—I want to remind you that connection is still available. Right now. Today.

Open a window. Wave at your neighbor. Call a friend. Join an online support group. Say hi in the comments. Let someone know you’re here.

Because when we reach for one another, solitude becomes strength. And our solitude becomes solidarity.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect, SLAYER:

  • S: Have you been staying connected or isolating lately? What do you notice about that?

  • L: What fears come up for you when you think about reaching out?

  • A: Who could you check in on today, even just with a short message or call?

  • Y: What does community mean to you, and how can you stay more present in it—even from a distance?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How are you staying connected, or where are you struggling to reach out?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s isolating, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Be Informed, Not Consumed

When the world feels uncertain, it’s natural to search for answers. We scroll, click, refresh—hoping that one more headline will bring us peace. But more often than not, the opposite happens. We become consumed.

In times of crisis, fear drives us to seek control. And in today’s world, control often looks like consuming as much information as possible. With news available 24/7, alerts pinging constantly, and social media spinning every story into a wildfire—it’s easy to lose ourselves in the noise.

Staying informed is important. But there’s a difference between being informed and being overwhelmed. There’s a line where knowledge becomes anxiety, and awareness turns into obsession. If we want to stay grounded, present, and well—we have to learn how to navigate that line.

When the Need to Know Becomes Too Much

Before I began this journey of healing and self-awareness, I didn’t know where that line was. When national tragedies or global emergencies happened, I’d get hooked. I’d sit in front of the news for hours, scroll endlessly, and tell myself, “I just need to stay updated.”

But the more I consumed, the more I spiraled. I wasn’t calming my fear—I was feeding it.

And here’s what I’ve learned: when I don’t check in with myself, when I don’t have balance in my day, my mind will find the darkness. If I give my energy to fear-based media or worst-case-scenario stories, that part of my brain that wants to spiral takes over—and fast.

We See What We Seek

It’s true: we find what we’re looking for.

If we’re looking for fear, we’ll find fear. If we’re looking for anger, grief, chaos—we’ll find it, and then some. But if we make the choice to seek calm, hope, and positivity, we’ll start to notice those stories too.

Our perception is shaped by what we consume and who we surround ourselves with. The news we follow, the conversations we engage in, the content we share—it all matters. It all shapes our internal world.

That’s why I’ve learned to set boundaries. I limit the content I consume. I check my sources. And then, I require balance: something that feeds my mind, something that fuels my body, and something that lifts my spirit.

When I follow that formula, I feel grounded. I feel like me.

Information Is a Tool—Not a Lifestyle

In this 24-hour news cycle, information never stops. But that doesn’t mean you have to keep consuming it nonstop.

Just because it’s available doesn’t mean it’s healthy. We don’t need to know everything in real-time. We don’t have to refresh the feed to feel in control. Sometimes, turning the news off is the healthiest decision we can make.

Information should support you—not suffocate you. It’s meant to help you make informed decisions for your life and your family. But it should never be the thing that consumes your energy, time, or peace.

Take the Break You Deserve

If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or hopeless—it might be time to check in.

Ask yourself:

  • How much news have I consumed today?

  • Have I moved my body?

  • Have I taken a deep breath?

  • Have I laughed, reached out to someone, or stepped outside?

The news will still be there when you get back. But your peace needs to be protected now.

Take the break. Put the phone down. Fold up the paper. Let your mind rest. Engage with your life—your real, tangible, beautiful life.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s check in together, SLAYER:

  • S: Do you find yourself consumed by news or social media during difficult times?

  • L: How does this impact your mental, emotional, and physical health?

  • A: What’s one boundary you can set today to create more balance?

  • Y: What can you add into your daily routine to feed your spirit and shift your focus back to the present?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How are you protecting your peace while staying informed?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling overwhelmed by the noise, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Is The Pain Of Change Greater Than The Pain Of Staying The Same?

Lately, with more free time at home, many of us are noticing those areas of our lives that might need some attention. With fewer distractions from the outside world, those lingering issues—things we were able to push aside before—are now front and center. It’s like life has paused just long enough for us to see what we’ve been avoiding.

For so long, I was a master at avoiding change. I could dig my heels in so deeply that I almost got stuck in place. Fear, low self-esteem, and shame had me convinced that if I ignored the signs, they would just fade away. But of course, they didn’t.
The more I resisted, the more pain I created for myself.

Looking back, I see that most of that pain was self-inflicted. I couldn’t—or wouldn’t—recognize my part in the situation. I told myself that everyone else needed to change, not me. That mindset kept me in the dark and let me play the victim. But what I didn’t realize was that by doing this, I was giving away my power. I was letting my pain control me instead of facing it head-on.

It wasn’t until the pain became unbearable that I finally surrendered. I had to get to that breaking point to become willing to change. And even then, change didn’t come all at once.
It was a slow, sometimes painful process, where I learned to let go of behaviors and patterns that no longer served me.

The Truth About Change

Here’s the thing:
Change is rarely easy, but it’s worth it.
Even now, with over 14 years on this path, I still find myself faced with the need for change. Sometimes it sneaks up on me. Behaviors I thought I had conquered creep back in. It’s humbling to admit that I need to deal with them again.

But the difference today is that I catch them sooner. I’ve learned to set aside my ego and get honest with myself. Change doesn’t have to mean chaos—it can mean growth. It can mean stepping into a stronger, more authentic version of myself.

The Choice is Yours

We have a choice:

  • Stay stuck in the familiar discomfort.

  • Or face the temporary discomfort of change.

Yes, change can be scary. It can be painful. But staying the same—living in patterns that no longer serve us—often hurts more. It’s the slow, grinding kind of pain that wears us down day after day.

This time in the world is an opportunity. We’re all experiencing shifts and uncertainty. Why not use this moment to make the changes we know we need to make? Why not come through this better, stronger, and more aligned with who we want to be?

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you wait for the pain to become unbearable before you change?
Why do you wait?
Do you believe you deserve to suffer? Why?
What scares you about change? What do you think you need to change right now?
What small step can you take today to create a lasting positive impact?
There has never been a better time to break free from old patterns and choose a path that leads to your best self.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one change you’ve been putting off that could bring more light into your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s support each other in breaking free from the past and embracing the changes we need.
And if you know someone who needs this message—share it with them.
Together, we rise.

You Can’t Open A Flower With A Sledgehammer

I mean, technically you can—but it won’t be pretty.

That’s true for life too. We can force things, try to speed them up, or push them into place. But more often than not, we end up destroying what could have been something beautiful by trying to control everything.

I spent so much of my life doing just that. Forcing. Pushing. Demanding. Always expecting a different result. That’s the very definition of insanity, right? It wasn’t until I learned to let go, to stop trying to force life to move on my schedule, that I started to see things bloom naturally.

Letting Go of Control

Learning to let things unfold in their own time was not easy. Just thinking about letting go of control used to make my anxiety spike. But here’s the truth: I was never really in control. I only thought I was. And realizing that—finally—was liberating.

I had always been a bit of a bull in a china shop, diving into situations without a plan and then trying to figure it all out on the fly. If I thought of life as a delicate flower, it reminded me to be gentle, to pause, and to let it open on its own.

It’s not about doing nothing—it’s about doing the footwork and then stepping back. My old fear-based thinking had me believing that I needed to control everything to keep the fear at bay. But in reality, trying to control made the fear grow stronger. Letting go, breathing, and trusting the process helped ease the anxiety and made space for the right things to happen.

The Sledgehammer Mentality

We all have wants, desires, and goals. But coming at them swinging a sledgehammer won’t get us any closer. It usually pushes them further away.

It’s easy to forget that everyone else has their own wants and needs too. And maybe, just maybe, what we think we want isn’t what’s actually best for us. Sometimes, when we loosen our grip a little, life brings us something even better than what we were trying to force into place.

So the next time you feel yourself reaching for the metaphorical sledgehammer, take a breath. Step back. Let life unfold. You might just be surprised at what blossoms.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you tend to force things to happen or do you let things unfold as they will?
Do you come at life like a bull or do you take the time to investigate and thoughtfully move through life?
If not, what can you do to slow down and look at things instead of just charging for the finish line?
Give an example when you used a sledgehammer in a situation and it backfired.
Give an example when you backed off a little and things went smoothly.
What was different about the time you backed off over the time you used a sledgehammer?
Why do you sometimes take out a sledgehammer instead of letting things unfold in their own time?
Forcing our way usually doesn’t give us the results we want, and even if we do get them, often we stomp on someone else to make it happen.
So why not put the sledgehammer down, do what you can, and stay out of the way of the results? You may be pleasantly surprised at what happens next.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear your thoughts.
When was the last time you tried to force something and it backfired? When did you let go, and it worked out beautifully?
Share your stories in the comments. Let’s support each other in learning to put down the sledgehammer.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share it with them.
We grow by learning—and letting go—together.

Go With The Flow

I’m the kind of person who usually has everything organized: calendars filled with appointments and reminders, lists of tasks, and a clear schedule for the days ahead. I like to be prepared and avoid surprises. But in these unpredictable times, when plans keep shifting moment by moment, I’m learning a crucial lesson—to go with the flow.

Just yesterday, I found myself overwhelmed as I tried to stick to my day’s schedule. With appointments canceled and plans reshuffled, I was racing down the street, rambling on the phone, heart racing, temperature rising—until I caught myself. I realized I wasn’t going to force things into being normal. The only way forward was to let go of what I thought should happen, and reassess what could happen with the tools and resources I had right then.

Not everything would get done neatly or on time—and that’s okay. The most important thing isn’t my checklist or calendar. It’s my mental health, my availability to support my family and friends, and my ability to be of service.

Letting Go of Control

Before walking this path, I was constantly forcing my will on everything and everyone. I had a clear vision of how things should go, and I fought hard to make them happen. That created tension, anxiety, and frustration—not just for me, but for the people around me.

When I finally surrendered to a healthier way of living, I learned to release my grip on control. It doesn’t mean we shouldn’t plan or set goals—but we need to let go of rigid expectations and outcomes. Accepting things as they are brought me a sense of peace I’d never experienced before.

The truth is, we don’t control most things in life. The only things we can truly control are our actions and reactions. The more I learned to let go, the more peace I found.

Finding a New Rhythm

In these times of constant change, it’s important to embrace the reality of the moment. Think of yourself as a surfer riding the waves—adjusting, adapting, and finding balance as the waves come.

This is a perfect time to slow down, take care of ourselves and our loved ones, and refocus on what truly matters. Instead of stressing over to-do lists or canceled plans, let’s prioritize our physical and mental well-being.

When things shift unexpectedly, take a deep breath. Slow down. Go with the flow. We’re all figuring out a new rhythm, and instead of forcing the old one, why not embrace a healthier, more flexible beat?

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY

Do you find yourself stressing out when your plans change or cancel?
How does that stress make you feel?
Does it help or harm you?
What can you do to release stress when it creeps in?
How can you practice letting go of expectations when things don’t turn out the way you planned?
Can you find a new rhythm, one that supports your mental and physical health instead of fueling stress?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve embraced a “go with the flow” mindset recently? How did it help?
Share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s lift each other up as we learn to navigate life’s unpredictability.
And if you know someone who needs this reminder, share this blog with them.
We’re all in this together.