promise

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! You can lie to everyone else but you can never really lie to yourself.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then… SLAY on!

State Of Slay Promise Yourself

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Our challenges don’t define us, our actions do.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Act

Don’t Stop Before The Miracle Happens

I was speaking last night at a rehab center in LA. I enjoy speaking to people who are at a crossroads in their life, it’s something I relate to very much, as I have had many, but one in particular where I chose to step into the light instead of slip into the darkness. We do always have a choice. I never plan what I’m going to say when I go to speak, I trust that the words will come out of my mouth that are meant to and that my story or message will land where it’s supposed to land. I was reminded last night of a miracle I experiences early on in my journey, a milestone that I had placed importance on, and that if I didn’t feel better by that milestone I would set out on my original plan to take my own life. I made a promise to myself three months earlier, that I would work to live in the light, that I would do what was suggested and dive into whatever work I needed to do to get better, and if I didn’t feel better at the end of that three months then I was free to let go. But something miraculous happened. When I hit that three month mark, having worked very hard to change the way I had been living and better myself, I no longer wanted to die. Now, I’m not saying it was all rainbows and unicorns from then on, it certainly was not, and I had a lot more work to do, but I wanted to stay and do it. By changing my actions, by doing what I could to take action in a positive way I had changed the trajectory of my life. It was, by all accounts, a miracle, as I had spent years prior wanting to die, and at that moment, on that milestone, I realized I didn’t. That was the first miracle I’ve received on this 12 year plus journey.

I’m grateful to always remember that. It reminds me that anything is possible. Change makes things possible, it’s not always easy, but when we stick to it, dedicate ourselves to it, miracles happen. They truly do. I am a living example of that, and each of us who has made it back from the depths of darkness and despair are as well.

A big part of that for me is sharing my story with others, because it not only may give someone else the hope they need to start their journey, or continue on their path, but it reminds me that miracles do happen and to keep going. That what I need to focus on is doing what’s best for me and my mental health, and when I do, and am able to be my best self, miraculous things happen. When we are at the depths of our depression, our despair, it doesn’t seem like anything will or can help, it seems hopeless, and it only is if we don’t take positive action to bring some light into our lives. And, believing we deserve to. As I’ve mentioned before, it starts with willingness, if we are willing things start to happen, it may be slow at first, but willingness opens the door, even if just a crack, and the more we take action to live in the light, the more that door opens and the more light comes in. That all may seem really daunting at first, or from where you’re sitting right now, but, you only have to do the next right thing, that’s it, just one thing, and that one thing will lead you to the next, which will lead you to the next and so on. But it starts with one thing. You don’t have to worry where all those things will lead you, just keep doing them and you will be amazed because before you know things will change, shift, get better, just by doing those small things each day. I started over 12 years ago and still do them each day, and each day I am amazed at the beauty that my life has and the many miracles that have happened along the way, but the most important miracle of all is that I am here, and that today I want to spread and share my light with others, rather than die in the dark.

Go find your miracle, stay on the path of light, and watch your life change. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you want things to be better for yourself? What gets in the way? What can you do today to step into the light, to take action and get yourself on a better path? What has stopped you in the past? Is this something real or what you tell yourself to keep yourself in the dark? Is it something someone else tells you? Why do you think they’re telling you that? No one has the right to tell you who you are and what you deserve, only you can do that. So stand up SLAYER, dust yourself off and change your path, step into the light and start the story of the rest of your life.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Rocking Resiliency

How many times have we heard the quote “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s how you get up” by Vince Lombardi? I got knocked down a lot, and I got up a lot, and then I stopped. I just stopped getting up. I let every knock knock me to the ground and I just stayed there. I believed I belonged there, I didn’t want to be there, it didn’t feel good there, but my head told me I was exactly where I was supposed to be. So I stayed. Alone. In the darkness. It wasn’t until my life was literally on the line that that little tiny spec of light and fight in me reached out for help, and that was enough to pull myself up off the floor. It sometimes takes all of our strength to get up, but we do have the power to not give up and continue to go after our dreams and overcome our challenges. And the beauty is, we don’t have to do it alone, I didn’t, I had a lot of hands help me along the way, and still do, and in many ways you all lend me yours every day, even if you don’t realize it, to give me that extra strength when I need it, because sometimes I do need it. Resiliency is the ability to get back up even when things did not go as planned, it’s not dwelling on our perceived failures, it’s about acknowledging our situation, learning from it, and moving on. So, how do we do this?

1) Perspective – resilient people look at obstacles in their way as challenges, they don’t take them personally or let them stop them from moving forward and continuing to work toward their goal. They look at the obstacles as lessons and an opportunity to grow or look at a situation in a new way, or different angle. When we think of our obstacles in these terms it allows us to navigate around, or use this new information to build on what we already know to get the result we’re looking for. Turn these seemingly negative things into something that will make us better, brighter, and faster.

2) Promise – resilient people make a promise to themselves and commit themselves to their goals and to the betterment of their overall being. This pledge gives them a reason to get out of bed every day, to continue to push forward, to grow, to learn, and to live as their true selves. It extends to every area of their life, from work, to friends, to relationships, to their community, they are committed to engaging in these areas and contributing in ways that show their commitment and love for themselves and those around them.

3) Personal Direction – resilient people focus their energy on what is in their control, not wasting their energy on uncontrollable events, which leads to feelings of loss, hopelessness, and powerlessness. They stay on track by sending their energy towards those things they can change, improve on, or learn from in their own lives, and within their community, not getting lost in the chatter of outside things that can take them off course. They stay committed to their own path, and keeping their goals in mind.

These three areas keep things pretty simple. And, life can be simple if we choose to it be, focusing on the things that matter to us and not getting sucked into the vortex of other people’s issues and problems that we have no business getting involved with. It is always nice to lend a hand, or some advice, when asked, or if you think we can be of service, but not so much that it takes us off track and keeps us from living our life and moving us forward. If we are questioning our own resiliency, and perhaps our reasons for it, it is best to stay focused on our own personal direction before jumping into someone else’s.

Resiliency also goes back to self-care, something I’ve talked about quite a bit. But it’s one of those blocks of our foundation that is necessary to be resilient. Are we eating enough, or the right foods, are we getting enough sleep, are we exercising, are we doing things to give back to ourselves, things we love, things that add light to our lives, are we finding time to reflect and listen to ourselves? All of these things contribute to our resiliency. Without self care our resiliency tank will be running on empty. We have the power to come back from insurmountable places, if we can find the fire within to give us the energy to move on, the fire burns in each and everyone one of us, can you find yours? If not, how can you fan the flames so you can burn bright?

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you consider yourself resilient? If not why? If so why? List some examples. What can you do to make sure you have what you need to be more resilient? How has your self-care been? Where can you do better? Where have you done better? What stops you from trying new things, or from moving forward? How can you overcome this? We are capable of anything, it’s all in how we choose to see it, make sure we’re setting ourselves up to rock our resiliency and give ourselves the tools we need to pick ourselves up and get what we want from life. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you