possibilities

Leave Room For Possibility

My brain tends to straddle between the practical and the magical. But when I get overwhelmed, tired, or stressed out, it typically defaults to the practical, which, can be helpful in walking through things, but it can also close my peripheral vision and the place where the magic happens. I consciously work every day to keep the channels of possibility open in my mind, to leave room for the unknown and channel my positive energy to that place, because the truth is, I don’t know everything, no one does, or can, but believing I do, or that I know what the outcome will be, closes the door of possibility of anything different than what I’ve already predetermined will be. I’ve learned, from the many years of living in the dark, that, not only I am grateful that I left the door of possibility open just a crack on a day when it mattered most, but that me thinking I know everything can lead me to a place of utter despair and a state of emergency. So, every day, I keep that door open, even when it feels safer to slam it shut, for possibility to come in.

When I was struggling to find the light in my life if felt safer to close off the world around me. I tend to, when I feel like things are out of control in my life, try to tighten the reigns and control things more, at least what is within my control, but in doing that I only see what I want to see, and I’m only thinking of safety, or what I perceive as safety, instead of really seeing all of the possibilities of what’s out there. During those times of fear, the “what’s out there” is what scares me, but, what’s out there isn’t always something I should be fearful of, because it can bring many beautiful gifts. In my journey today it is important to keep my heart open, that is the place where possibility is born, which is why, at times, it can be scary to leave room for it, because I feel vulnerable. But it is within that vulnerability that I have received so many incredible gifts, and why I work, each day, to live within it.

I do believe we are meant to share ourselves with others, to share those vulnerabilities, be mindful of what we do, but allow people to see who we are and where we’ve been, to feel compassion for those around us, and to be open to new things, thoughts, people and challenges. I have found that my vulnerabilities, those things I used to work so hard to hide, are what connects me to those people I cherish most, it allows me to share my light with others who may need it, just as someone else’s vulnerability lit my path almost 14 years ago. Our vulnerability is a powerful thing, which is probably why it can be so scary to show it to the world, but it is our soft gooey center that is our sweetest part.

As I am thinking about the year ahead, I remind myself to leave room for possibility, and that may be easy as we look forward to a fresh start, but it’s important to leave that room every day, especially when things gets tough or we get bruised by disappointment, it’s during those times that we need to push that door open a little more. We don’t know everything, and even though things may look like all is lost, there may be a reason for it all happening the way it has, and by leaving room for possibility we allow ourselves to be open to a positive result. For me, I had to trudge through a lot of difficult roads to find myself on the road I am now, and I can see how all of the roads I traveled on, even the most treacherous, had to be traveled on to bring me to this road where the possibilities are endless. Open your heart and let the possibilities in. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you leave room for possibility, or close yourself off thinking you already know the outcome? Does living closed-minded leave any room for the unexpected, or possibility of a different outcome? When have you been surprised in my life when something turned out differently than you expected. Write down an example. What did you do differently then that you may not do ever day? What stops you from doing that every day? Look at possibility like leaving room for dessert, I know I never have a problem doing that, so do what needs to be done each day, make sound, clear choices, but leave a little extra room for something sweet, you may be surprised what comes your way.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Never Search In The Branches For What Is Found In The Roots

Before walking my current path, I often would get distracted by shiny sparkly things. I had a constant list of things on my “want” list, and those things, when I did obtain them, became like a drug that I was continuously chasing. The items I was buying were like my armor, or so I thought, I wore each of them like a badge of honor, but that hit I would feel was fleeting, and then I was on the to next item on my list, chasing the same high. I was like that with people too, I didn’t collect them, but I would look for the people who were flashy, who looked good from the outside, and outside I admired or envied, and an outside I compared my insides to.

I always thought everyone else had it easier than did. I watched other people and wanted what they had, but I truly didn’t know what I was asking for, because all I was seeing was what was being presented to the world, and not what was truly going on. I didn’t even consider that there was possibly two different versions, even though I was presenting two myself. I just got caught up on what the outside looked like, thinking if I could make my outside look perfect than maybe I could have a shiny sparkly life too. No such luck. You see, what I was admiring, or attracted to, didn’t really exist a lot of the time, I was fixating on someone else’s seemingly incredible life, not realizing that there could be things I didn’t know. There were also a lot of things I didn’t know about myself, because I hadn’t bothered to ask, or, gotten to know myself, and instead of asking, I just kept trying to cover up those blank spaces with more shiny sparkly things.

When I made the commitment to get well I was told I had learn to love myself. I didn’t even know how to begin, or, if it was even possible. It was. And as I got to know myself for the first time, and, did learn to love myself, that long list of things I had been attracted to didn’t seem to important anymore. What was important was finding forgiveness for myself, and others, and to learn who I was and what was truly important to me. Turns out it was none of those exterior or material things that used dominate my time, and mind, it was finding an inner peace and filling myself with gratitude, love and connection to something bigger than myself. I also learned on my journey to finding those things that most of the people who I had admired, or even envied, for “having it all” or much of what I wanted, also had struggles and challenges of their own that I didn’t see. I realized that my journey and struggles was much like other people, who were also working to do the same as I, and that the solution was not in people, places and things I was trying to obtain or possess. I had to stop worrying about what my branches looked like to everyone else, and start focusing on the health of my roots. That is where my strength, happiness and freedom was, in the roots, if I was to grow and keep myself on solid footing and to keep myself nourished so I could continue to grow, I had to feel like l was on solid ground.

It’s easy to look around and assume that what we see is how it is, but most times it’s not. We, as a society then to put our best foot forward when we are out in the world, we show each other what we want to show, not necessarily the truth of what may be going on, and yet we judge ourselves and how we feel by these outside personas, which could be far removed from the reality of what’s truly going on. Finding a way to connect with your true self and what makes you feel whole is the way to finding peace, there isn’t anything that can be bought or obtained that can do that job or take it’s place, we may try, and it may work for a while, but ultimately the way to our peace is an inside job, one that will take a lot of honesty and courage to work on, but the one that will give you the most rewarding gift you can give yourself, freedom to love who you are and what you are, no matter what your branches may look like today. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to judge your insides to other people’s outsides? Do you realize you are doing this? How does it make you feel? Do you think it’s fare to do this to yourself? Do you present the best of yourself when you are out in the world? Do you think others do the same and do not share their real truth? If yes, then how can you compare how you feel with someone else based on what you see? Do you try to fill those gaps or holes inside with outside things? How do you this? Does it work? For how long? How do you think you can start to fill the gaps yourself, without reaching for something else to try to do the job for you? Work on that SLAYER. The true way, and only way to fill those gaps and feel whole is to love and honor yourself, to do and say those things that make you feel whole. Find what fills you up from the inside, find love for yourself and share that love, as you do those roots beneath your feet will become stronger and give you the foundation you need to shine and share your beautiful branches.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! When you are able to be comfortable in uncertainty, infinite possibilities come into your life.

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Possibilities

Possibility vs. Comfortability

We all love the possibilities of possibilities. Possibilities are new. Fresh. A place we may have never gone before, or a place, we’ve always wanted to go. And as exciting as possibilities are, they can also be scary, because, of all the same reasons. Those reasons can sometimes paralyze us and keep us in a place of being comfortable instead of taking the chance on something new, even if the place we’ve been comfortable is no longer so. We may also believe that what we deserve is what we have, even if it’s not a good place, because it’s what we know, and where we’ve always been. It takes courage to take action on possibilities because possibilities aren’t a sure thing, and they are a new thing we’ve possibly never conquered.

Speaking from my experience of always have a head full of dreams and, yes, courage to reach for them, but, fear I wasn’t good enough to actually accomplish them, or be worthy of them, I know this tug-of-war all too well. I love the idea of new possibilities, but I wasn’t always confident enough in who I was, or believed I could get them. The place I was, I told myself, was comfortable there, but it was a horrible place, it was a horrible place I knew, so it became comfortable, even though I didn’t want to be there, and, the longer I stayed the harder it was to get out. We often stay in situations because we know it, rather than go after something that is better for us, healthier for us, and where we’re supposed to be. Typically those things, those possible things, aren’t the safe choice, or the easy choice, but they are the choices that make our soul smile, they are the choices that will allow us to be our best selves, our authentic selves. And sometimes, that’s what scares us. Especially when we don’t truly know who we are, and what we deserve. That’s the journey that comes before taking action on all those possibilities, self-awareness, and yes, our favorite, self-love.

For me, once I learned who I was, and learned to love that person, I wasn’t OK with staying comfortable. I wanted to test out the new me on all the possibilities I saw in front of me, or had been dreaming of. Being comfortable didn’t feel comfortable anymore, because I knew if I felt comfortable where I was, I wasn’t learning, growing, or challenging myself enough. It was when I felt uncomfortable that I knew I was in the right place. That might sound a little strange to those of you who are sitting pretty where you are, but trust me, we don’t want to be sitting anywhere, we want to be in motion!

When we constantly challenge ourselves, who we are, and what we’re capable of, the possibilities are endless. Anything can happen. And often does. Just by saying yes and jumping into life, so many possibilities have come my way that would have never crossed my path had I stayed safe and where I was comfortable. It’s about getting out there, walking that high-wire, and knowing you’re safe, that there is a net under you. I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? You fall? We’ve all done that before, and we’re all still here to tell the story. It’s in the falling where we learn most, so if you’re falling, you’re doing something right.

Let go of the comfortable and reach for the possibilities, it’s within that journey that we really start to shine, and it’s within that journey that what was once comfortable becomes uncomfortable because we know we deserve more than we have, or something different, because we are now different. Challenge yourself SLAYER, the possibilities are endless.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you tend to stay where you’re comfortable? Why do you do that? How does that help you? How does that hurt you? What possibilities have you not explored because of fear, or not believing you’re worth it? What action can you take this week to go after one of those possibilities? Do it SLAYER. Take some action that makes you feel uncomfortable, but will take you one step closer to the possibilities that you dream about, you just never know, that far out of reach goal, may just be within your grasp.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you