shine bright

Find Your Purpose

It took a major event in my life to find my purpose, and even after that it took some time, and a lot of reflection, to finally land on why I was here, and why I had I survived insurmountable odds to still be here. Before that my purpose had always been self-serving, it was always all about me, what I wanted, what I wanted to achieve, and looking back, with that being my main purpose it doesn’t surprise me that I felt lost, empty, and well, purposeless with that purpose. I realized, after nearly loosing my life on a Malibu beach, that my purpose was to be of service, to give back, and once I figured that out and accepted it, my life became much fuller and richer. That purpose eventually manifested into this blog, and into some incredible new friendships. Everyone has a purpose, sometimes it takes us some time to figure out what it is, but we all have one. We all have something different to offer, we all excel at different things, we all are drawn to specific areas, or perhaps a calling, we are all meant to be shining in our own way. So, if you’re feeling like you haven’t found yours, how do you find it? There is a much easier way than the way I did.

1) Take Action – I know, that again, you know I’m all about taking action, but hear me out, when we take action we get a clearer sense of things, we get first hand knowledge of what we like, who we like, and how to get what we want. We learn from that. I’m also all about trying new things, so when we put ourselves out there and try new things, again, we are learning about ourselves, what we like, what we’re great at, what interests us. The experience of doing is the reward, but we also gain knowledge and through that comes clarity, and with clarity a sense of purpose.

2) Act From You Heart – our head likes to get in the way, it likes to over think and make things difficult, act from your heart, let your heart guide you and show you the way. Don’t question it, just do it. There’s a reason you’re drawn to certain things or people, you are where you are supposed to be, and uncensored by your head telling you differently. When you lead with your heart you are leading with passion, you are leading with love, and through that you will explore and find things that you enjoy and that inspire you. Your heart is your best tool to access your passion and true purpose.

3) Keep An Open Mind – you may have more than one purpose, your life doesn’t have to only have one, there may be a few, don’t let the idea of finding the one big purpose stop you from finding your passions. Maybe your passions and pursuing them are your purpose, maybe you are meant to reach people in a few different ways or areas. Go after your passions, and when you do you’ll be living a full passionate life full of purpose. Many times the feeling of lacking purpose comes from not living a life full of passion, when you add more passion, or things you are passionate about, you are living a purposeful life.

The purpose of all of our lives is to live life to it’s fullest, to embrace it, to experience it, explore it, we are all here to learn and to love, that is the greatest purpose of all, but within that, and while we’re doing that, another purpose may present itself, and if and when it goes, jump in with passion, there is no better life than one you feel connected with and one you feel you have something to offer. Ask yourself deep down what fires you up, what excites you, what motivates you, now get in there and find your purpose.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel a sense of purpose? Do you struggle to find your purpose? What do you think is stopping you? What excites you? What motivates you? What challenges you? What gives you the most back? When you think of a place where you feel whole, where you feel excited and energized, where is that place? Where, in your area or community, can you get involved with something like that? How can you participate and engage? Challenge yourself this week SLAYER to take action, to follow your heart, and find your passion, or, at least try, you never know where an open mind and passion might lead you. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Never apologize for who you are, be strong, be brave, be YOU!

SLAY on.

State Of Slay Bold

Are You A Navel Gazer?

There’s a danger in looking inward too much—when your world becomes a mirror that shows only your problems, your pain, your fears. That’s what it means to be a navel gazer: constantly watching yourself, magnifying your flaws, and forgetting there’s a wider world that offers both perspective and relief.

But when we only gaze inward, we isolate ourselves from life, community, and meaning. We inflate our burdens and lose sight of the beauty around us. The antidote? Turn your gaze outward. Let your life breathe again in connection, contribution, and service.

The Mirage of Self-Focus

When you’re stuck in your head, every error feels fatal. Every criticism feels crushing. Every setback feels permanent. You spin—overthinking, replaying, analyzing—until your problems look like monsters.

I’ve been there. Trying to figure everything out before I moved, second-guessing every emotion, judging myself for what I felt. The more I did that, the more stuck I became.

Here’s what I finally came to see: self-focus without action is just self-absorption. You can think harder, but unless your gaze shifts, nothing changes.

Looking In vs Looking Out

Looking inward has its place—it can deepen self-awareness, healing, and growth. But only when balanced with looking outward.

When we only look in, we:

  • Magnify small issues into crises

  • Drown in self-criticism

  • Lose touch with what really matters

  • Disconnect from community

When we turn outward, we:

  • Remember there are bigger stories than ours

  • Find wisdom in serving, contributing, listening

  • Lighten our own burdens by lifting others

  • Reconnect with purpose beyond ourselves

The world doesn’t need more perfect self-reflection—it needs your presence. Your light. Your gift.

From Inside Spirals to Outside Impact

The shift out of navel-gazing is not denial. It’s not pretending nothing hurts. It’s choosing when to look inward—and when to look outward.

Here’s what it looked like for me:

  • When pain surfaced, I wrote it out. Then I stepped outside my four walls and asked someone else how their day was.

  • When fear whispered, I visited someone I knew needed encouragement—and I encouraged them.

  • When shame rolled in, I shared a fragment of truth with a trusted friend—I turned inward language into outward connection.

I found that the more I did that, the less power my internal spirals had. The more I engaged in life, the smaller my worries seemed in comparison to what we could create together.

Step Outside Your Gaze

You don’t have to live life wrapped up in your own thoughts. Here are ways to shift your gaze outward, even when you feel pulled inward:

  1. Serve Someone Every Day
    Small acts—listening, encouraging, volunteering—remind you that your struggles are not the whole world.

  2. Ask Questions, Then Listen
    Ask someone else’s story, their fears, their joys. Let their story expand your soul.

  3. Join a Cause or Community
    Be part of something bigger than yourself. Let your life connect with people, not isolate.

  4. Practice Gratitude Scans
    Each day, list 3 things you see outside of you that bring joy—sunlight, a smile, a bird’s song.

  5. Pause the Mirror Time
    When your thoughts spiral inward, pause and redirect—with kindness—to what’s outside: a walk, a view, a voice, a touch.

What Happens When You Look Out

When you step out of the spiral of navel gazing, something beautiful begins:

  • Problems shrink. They don’t disappear, but they feel less overwhelming.

  • You find solutions in unexpected places—through others, through service, through connection.

  • You reclaim your place in life’s big story. You aren’t just a spectator—you’re a participant.

  • You step into joy less burdened by the weight of your internal drama.

You begin to see that your life isn’t about solving every internal fault—it’s about living, with heart, with impact, with connection.

SLAY Reflection

  1. How often do you find yourself trapped in your own thoughts or problems?

  2. What costs you when you stay inward too long—peace? energy? relationships?

  3. What is one small act you can do today to shift your gaze outward?

  4. Who in your circle might need your presence, support, or listening?

  5. How might your life change when you stop magnifying your worries and start magnifying your service?

S – Stop spiraling inward without purpose
L – Look outward and engage with the world around you
A – Act small, act kind, act beyond yourself
Y – Yield your focus to meaning beyond your mind

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever caught yourself overthinking or turning inward too much—and what helped you shift your focus outward again?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck in their own head, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder to lift our gaze and reconnect with the world around us.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Give yourself permission to soar!

New blog goes up Tuesday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Braver

Slayer Say

Good morning SLAYERS! Never dull your shine for anyone else. Shine bright without apologies for who are you and what you are. Find people you let you light shine, and make you shine brighter. You are magic!

New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!

State Of Slay Magic

This Too Shall Pass

Nothing lasts forever, but when I’m sitting in the muck of my mind it seems I’m doomed for all eternity, my mind likes to tell me that anyway, and I used to believe it. When we seem to be living under a dark cloud it’s like time slows down, and the crap just keeps piling on, our legs get heavy, and so does our head and our heart, and it’s hard to move. But let me tell you a secret, you can move, you can move from all of that, you just have to…well move! We have the power to make a dark day turn bright and to walk away from the crap that’s holding us down, keeping us back, telling us that we’re meant to drown in the muck we find ourselves in. We fight, we scream, we stand up and know this place, this darkness, will not last forever, it never does, unless we let it, but like a thunderstorm it rolls through, reeking havoc, and then passes on it’s way, our personal storms are no different.

The trick is to remember that when you’re in it. Sometimes that can be hard, because the darkness is so deceptive, so relentless we see no end in sight, but it’s there, it’s always there, and just knowing it’s there can help us navigate through the dark until we find our way out. Our thoughts can lie to us, they can lead us to dark places and keep us there. Mine did for much of my life, and I believed the lies it told me, the lies that said that I wasn’t good enough, that people wouldn’t like me, that it was better, and safer, to isolate and stay alone, and the longer I listened, the louder the thoughts got. It took a lot of fight to quiet them down, but I did, and so can you.

This goes back to a lot of what I’ve talked about already, it goes back to self love, self forgiveness, and self care, that’s a lot of self, but, we need to take care of our own needs to make sure we’re in tip top SLAYER condition when things come our way, if we are it’s much easier to navigate through those murky waters, and to not believe those negative thoughts when they come up. When we think back to the dark times in our lives, they always passed, or at the very least, got brighter, life ebbs and flows, and there are always going be times when we’re riding high or clawing our way back, the trick is to remember, and believe, that you will be back on top, and that you deserve it! Don’t believe the negative hype! It won’t always be like this, it won’t, the sun will come back out and shine bright, as will we. It’s easier to weather the storm when you can stand up against it with a brightness from within, light your own way on your own path and find your way out. Sometimes it can be just as simple as laughing it all off, not taking it seriously and walking away, waiting out the storm, but some in cases it’s more serious than that, so, we trudge our way forward, doing the necessary footwork that may be needed to resolve what we can resolve, and then smile, oh yes smile, and let it pass, it will pass, the sun is just on the horizon.

Even though you may feel beaten down, in the darkness, alone, and tired, you have the strength SLAYER to get up and fight, you have it within you to walk through the darkness and find the light by using your own unique beautiful light to light your way, and use all of ours if it’s still too dark, we’re all with you on the same path shining bright. Don’t be afraid, don’t despair, don’t let it tell you it’s won, it hasn’t, unless you let it, and you’re a SLAYER, so look it right in the eye, pick up your mighty sword, smile, and say to yourself, this too shall pass and I will win, and so it will, and you will win.

SLAY OF THE DAY: When in your life have you gone through dark times only to see them pass over time? When have you managed to work your way out of a dark time? How did you do it? When you are in a dark place, is it hard for you to see or find the light? Does it seem like it’ll last forever? Does it? If you are in a dark place now SLAYER sit quietly and envision yourself surrounded by white light, a light so bright it lights up the room and all around you, take that light with you to shine in the dark areas of your life, let the light in and the darkness will fade away.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you