motivation

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Fear can be a healthy motivator is we choose it to be.

SLAY on!

state-of-slay healthy fear

A Voiceless Child

It’s important we always speak our truth. We can become consumed by fear and keep our truth bottled up inside. We may tell ourselves our truth doesn’t matter. Or, that people won’t understand, or care. But when we don’t express who we are or how we feel we tell ourselves that we don’t matter, that our voice doesn’t matter, that what we’re unworthy, and we sink down into our own darkness, sentencing ourselves to life as if we are a voiceless child without a way to communicate that we need help.

We are not voiceless children, we can get help, but that need for that help has to be bigger than our fear of reaching out for it. At least it had to for me. There were many times, many signs, that I needed help, but fear, shame and pride kept me from doing so. To take the onus off of myself I played the victim, that I wasn’t capable or worthy of getting the help I needed. My disease also told me that I deserved to suffer, deserved to be punished for who I was and what I had been doing to get by. I did feel like a voiceless child, sitting alone in the dark. But none of that was the truth. It was just the story I told myself, the story my disease told me, the story the bullshit committee in my head told me, and the narrative I adopted because it took all the blame off myself and allowed me to keep being sick.

My biggest obstacle was fear. Fear was the motivator for most of my decisions before stepping on this path. Fear was the engine that drove my disease, drove everything negative in my life, fear ran my life. Fear is one powerful enemy when we allow it to be. It keeps us from people who care about us. It keeps us from getting the help we need. It keeps us in the dark. And that darkness can consume us. It almost did me. And my fear was so cunning, it actually had me romanticize it and make it sound inviting. Ultimately it was also fear that got me to reach out. I got myself to a place that I knew was very dangerous, and I knew had one final end, and reaching a place where I no longer cared about myself, I got more frightened than I ever had before. That fear, that new sense of terror, was the push I needed to finally speak my truth. And once I did, that voiceless child started to find her voice.

Finding your voice can be scary, but once you start to exercise your right to be heard, it has an incredibly powerful result. We learn to share who we are, what we need and we are able to reach out for the help we need. We learn that once we overcome that fear, walk though it, we stand taller, we get stronger and our community gets bigger. When I found the courage to reach out and finally speak my truth it was like a damn burst inside of me. It felt so good to let out the secrets I had been carrying around.. To not care about being judged, because I knew my life depended on me letting everything out, I knew the only way I could find a solution to how I was feeling was to share it all, and once I did, I let the some light in, and that light felt good. My head still wanted me to believe it wasn’t going to help, and that people were going to think I was crazy, or, that I didn’t deserve the help, but that little bit of light that crept in when I finally spoke up, that light overpowered those negative thoughts, and I kept running toward that light until I felt I could just sit in it for a while and let it shine on me.

Today I live in the light. The darkness doesn’t feel like home anymore. Sometimes I might dip a toe back in the darkness, my head will get me to just check it out, but I get back out because the light is now home. You can find the light in your own life by speaking your truth, no matter what it is, find someone to tell it to, it’s within that moment that the light will come in, and that voiceless child within you will find their voice and fight for the most important person there is, you. SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you identify with feeling like a voiceless child? How so? Why do you feel you have no voice? Have you allowed yourself to lose your voice? Have you told yourself that your voice doesn’t matter, or that it won’t be accepted? Has someone else told you that? Why do you believe them? I am here to tell you that your voice does matter, YOU matter, and when you speak your truth magical things start to happen, for you, and those around you. You may just learn how much alike you truly are with those around you, that that loneliness you feel can be quashed with your truth. It is our truth, our story, that connects us to those around us, we all have shared experiences and the only way to learn what they are is to share them with others. Find your voice, step out of the darkness and speak your truth.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Why Fit In When You Were Meant To Stand Out

When I was younger, all I wanted was to blend in. To disappear into the background, unnoticed, safe from prying eyes. The thought of standing out filled me with anxiety. What if people saw what I saw? What if they really saw me? I spent years hiding behind a mask, trying to fit into roles that made me feel acceptable. Even as an actor, I found comfort in playing characters—if someone disliked them, at least it wasn’t the real me.

But the real transformation happened when I stripped away those layers and stood there with nothing to hide behind. Vulnerable. Exposed. For a long time, I felt like there was nothing there but a gaping void.

The work of discovering and embracing my true self wasn’t easy. It took courage to not just like the real me, but to love and celebrate her. And it all began with saying yes—to experiences, to challenges, and to moments that stretched me outside of my comfort zone.

Embracing the Weird and Wonderful

As I started saying yes more often, my quirks surfaced. The playful, silly side I’d suppressed began to shine. I realized that being called “weird” was actually a compliment. Weird meant I was no longer trying to mold myself into what others expected. I was me—unapologetically.

Now, I seek out the other “weirdos” on my path. They inspire me, because they’re living authentically, just like I strive to do. Their light is a reminder that authenticity is beautiful and magnetic.

Think about it: why settle for being a copy of someone else? When we dim our true selves to fit in, we lose trust—not just in others, but in ourselves. Trust grows when we embrace our truth, when we stand confidently in who we are.

The Power of Authenticity

When we live authentically, we will stand out. Our light shines brighter. It attracts others who are also ready to step into their truth. It gives them permission to do the same.

Authenticity creates connection. It breaks down barriers. And it gives us a sense of belonging—not because we’re fitting into someone else’s mold, but because we’ve finally found our people.

You have something special to offer the world. Don’t hide it. Step out of the shadows. Let us see you—the real you. Because when you do, you’ll inspire others to do the same. And that’s how we all rise together.

SLAY Reflection

Here’s your chance to reflect and take action, SLAYER:

  • S: What masks are you wearing to fit in?

  • L: How would it feel to let those masks go and embrace your true self?

  • A: What’s one small step you can take today to let your light shine?

  • Y: Who inspires you with their authenticity, and how can you draw from their courage?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re hiding that you’re ready to embrace?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to show up as their true self, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Find Your Purpose

It took a major event in my life to find my purpose, and even after that it took some time, and a lot of reflection, to finally land on why I was here, and why I had I survived insurmountable odds to still be here. Before that my purpose had always been self-serving, it was always all about me, what I wanted, what I wanted to achieve, and looking back, with that being my main purpose it doesn’t surprise me that I felt lost, empty, and well, purposeless with that purpose. I realized, after nearly loosing my life on a Malibu beach, that my purpose was to be of service, to give back, and once I figured that out and accepted it, my life became much fuller and richer. That purpose eventually manifested into this blog, and into some incredible new friendships. Everyone has a purpose, sometimes it takes us some time to figure out what it is, but we all have one. We all have something different to offer, we all excel at different things, we all are drawn to specific areas, or perhaps a calling, we are all meant to be shining in our own way. So, if you’re feeling like you haven’t found yours, how do you find it? There is a much easier way than the way I did.

1) Take Action – I know, that again, you know I’m all about taking action, but hear me out, when we take action we get a clearer sense of things, we get first hand knowledge of what we like, who we like, and how to get what we want. We learn from that. I’m also all about trying new things, so when we put ourselves out there and try new things, again, we are learning about ourselves, what we like, what we’re great at, what interests us. The experience of doing is the reward, but we also gain knowledge and through that comes clarity, and with clarity a sense of purpose.

2) Act From You Heart – our head likes to get in the way, it likes to over think and make things difficult, act from your heart, let your heart guide you and show you the way. Don’t question it, just do it. There’s a reason you’re drawn to certain things or people, you are where you are supposed to be, and uncensored by your head telling you differently. When you lead with your heart you are leading with passion, you are leading with love, and through that you will explore and find things that you enjoy and that inspire you. Your heart is your best tool to access your passion and true purpose.

3) Keep An Open Mind – you may have more than one purpose, your life doesn’t have to only have one, there may be a few, don’t let the idea of finding the one big purpose stop you from finding your passions. Maybe your passions and pursuing them are your purpose, maybe you are meant to reach people in a few different ways or areas. Go after your passions, and when you do you’ll be living a full passionate life full of purpose. Many times the feeling of lacking purpose comes from not living a life full of passion, when you add more passion, or things you are passionate about, you are living a purposeful life.

The purpose of all of our lives is to live life to it’s fullest, to embrace it, to experience it, explore it, we are all here to learn and to love, that is the greatest purpose of all, but within that, and while we’re doing that, another purpose may present itself, and if and when it goes, jump in with passion, there is no better life than one you feel connected with and one you feel you have something to offer. Ask yourself deep down what fires you up, what excites you, what motivates you, now get in there and find your purpose.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel a sense of purpose? Do you struggle to find your purpose? What do you think is stopping you? What excites you? What motivates you? What challenges you? What gives you the most back? When you think of a place where you feel whole, where you feel excited and energized, where is that place? Where, in your area or community, can you get involved with something like that? How can you participate and engage? Challenge yourself this week SLAYER to take action, to follow your heart, and find your passion, or, at least try, you never know where an open mind and passion might lead you. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Just Have To Be

I used to believe I had to be perfect to show up.

Perfect timing. Perfect skills. Perfect hair, even. And if things didn’t line up just right—if I didn’t line up just right—I’d sit it out. I’d pass on the opportunity. I’d talk myself out of the dream. Looking back, I can’t count the chances I missed because I let perfectionism run the show.

But perfection is a lie we tell ourselves when we’re scared.

It gives us a reason to wait, to hide, to stay small. We convince ourselves we’re not ready, not worthy, not enough—so we don’t begin. But here’s the truth: Perfection is not required. Showing up is.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

It’s Never Going to Look Perfect—Do It Anyway

No one has it all figured out. No plan is bulletproof. No path is paved just right. Life is messy, and we’re messy too.

The trick is to move forward anyway.

Start with what you’ve got. Doubt? Bring it. Fear? Take it with you. Confusion? Totally normal. You don’t need to wait for the moment to be perfect—you just need to be brave enough to begin.

It reminds me of being a kid on the playground, standing in front of a merry-go-round already spinning. I’d spot my opening, take a breath, and jump. Was it scary? Sure. But it was also thrilling. I didn’t need a guarantee—I just needed to go for it.

So why do we stop doing that?

Because we’ve fallen. We’ve been judged. We’ve been told to wait until we’re “ready.” But the only way to be ready is to start anyway.

Flaws and All, You’re Already Enough

Let me say this loud for the people in the back:

You are already worthy of showing up.

You don’t have to be “fixed” or “perfect” or polished to begin. The real magic happens when you show up as you are. That’s what makes you relatable. That’s what makes you real.

You are perfect in your imperfection. Unique. Valuable. Needed.

And when you let go of chasing perfect, something incredible happens—you start living. You stop waiting. You begin to believe in what’s possible for you.

So whatever it is you’ve been putting off—start it. Show up. Say yes. Jump in. Your life isn’t waiting for perfect. It’s waiting for you.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What’s one thing you’ve avoided because you were waiting for the “perfect” moment?
  2. How has perfectionism kept you from living fully?
  3. What would it feel like to show up just as you are?
  4. What’s one small step you can take this week toward something you’ve been putting off?
  5. Can you write down 5 things that make you uniquely you—and remind yourself why they matter?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Start without needing it to be perfect.
  • Listen to your inner voice—not your inner critic.
  • Accept yourself as you are, flaws and all.
  • You are the magic you’ve been waiting for.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What have you been putting off because it wasn’t perfect?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck waiting for the “right time,” send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.