Thank you to all of you who joined me tonight for a SLAY TALK LIVE full of love!
For those who weren’t able to join us, here’s what you missed.
community
Join our Valentine’s Campaign!
Hey there SLAYER! Valentine’s Day can be a difficult time for many who suffer from depression or are feeling alone. Myself, along a group of wonderful people, have contributed to the IMALIVE Valentine’s Day Campaign to send messages of love and encouragement those who may need it.
You can also send out your own message by posting with the hashtage #ThereIsAlwaysMe and IMALIVE with share you post.
We all matter, you matter, you are not alone.
SLAY on!
Slay Talk Live Video
Good evening SLAYERS! For those of you who didn’t join us for SLAY TALK LIVE tonight, here’s what you missed! Hopefully you can join us next month, until then…SLAY on.
You Can’t Compare
Even though I am writing each day. talking about loving your authentic self, owning who you are and celebrating that, and I do that, I found myself recently, while I was working out, admiring someone else’s figure and wondering why I don’t look like that. I stopped myself and had to give myself a pep talk. Why do we as human beings compare ourselves with those around us, or those we see in the media, or on social media? Each of us is unique, and in terms of our bodies, we are all built differently, our skeletal systems, muscle mass, metabolisms, it makes no sense to compare ourselves with anyone, we’re not all playing with the same equipment. After my little pep talk mid-workout I had to laugh at myself, thinking, you know better, but we all do it at some point, and the trick is to change our thinking and appreciate who are we, what we’ve been through, how hard we work, and for the many ways we are all blessed. So, how do we do that if we’re stuck in comparison mode? Here are a few ways to get you back on the road of self-appreciation and self-love.
1) Focus on your victories. As much as we live in a culture of always wanting more, and wanting it bigger and faster, we need to focus on our own successes, what we’ve accomplished and overcome to get to where we are today. When we focus on our own personal wins we don’t tend to compare ourselves to the other people around us, we may have people in our lives who inspire us, or push us to the next level of being our best selves, that’s healthy, but you can’t compare apples and oranges, none of us are exactly the same, so focus on you and what others are doing becomes less significant in our lives.
2) Focus on the bigger things in life. It can be easy to caught up in wanting material things, but those things don’t give back to us. When we focus on giving back, on love, on empathy towards others, on humility, and being part of a community we tend to compare ourselves less to those around us. Make sure your time is spent on things that matter most, not just things to puff up your ego or to collect as trophies.
3) Appreciate others instead of competing against them. We live in a competitive world, and a little healthy competition can be good, but not when it becomes the sole purpose for you doing anything, and winning becomes your most important goal. Learn to work with others, compliment them when they do well, and work together as a team, when we build relationships and a community around us we don’t find the need to compete for the spotlight and to always be the best.
4) No one is perfect. I’ve talked about this before. We’re all here to learn. We all make mistakes…that’s how we learn. If we’re not making mistakes we’re not learning, we’re not growing, we’re not pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone to move on to where we’re supposed to be, we’re staying stuck. Every triumph comes with obstacles, so no one is getting a free ride over you. When we look at others through this perspective it helps us find compassion for them, and us, and it helps us connect with them instead of looking at them like they’re our competition.
5) You’re only competing against yourself. Really, at the end of the day, you are your only competition. You are the only one if playing with the exact same circumstances, tools, and parameters as you. Only you can compete against you. Let that be your motivation, your guide, your push, to be a better you than you were yesterday.
When we focus on ourselves, what we can be doing to broaden our world, to challenge ourselves and to give back we lose the need to compare ourselves to others and to put ourselves down for not being something we can never be, someone else. Celebrate who you are and were you’ve come from, and, set some attainable goals to challenge yourself and be your best you.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you constantly compare yourself to others? What about those people do you admire, or envy? Why do you think you can’t have a version of those things for yourself? We can never be someone else or have their exact life, and even if we could we’d probably find it wasn’t as rosy as we made it out to be in our minds, so of those things you admire, what can you do to find those or work on those in your life? How’s that self-love coming along SLAYER? Making progress? Or still struggling? Write down 5 things you admire about yourself, that you cannot buy. Write down 5 things you overcame last year that you are proud of. Now make a list of 5 things you would like to overcome this year. Get to work SLAYER, it’s all within your reach.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Slay Talk Live Video
Hey SLAYERS! Weren’t able to join us tonight for SLAY TALK LIVE, here’s what you missed
Also, for those of you wanting to take a look at or purchase the Christmas ornament inspired by my episodes of SUPERNATURAL by Jodi Zulueta, click the link: Eldwenne’s Fantasy – Christmas Ball
Also, here are a latest “Sleigh Gear” I just added to the SLAY STORE today.
Are You A Navel Gazer?
There’s a danger in looking inward too much—when your world becomes a mirror that shows only your problems, your pain, your fears. That’s what it means to be a navel gazer: constantly watching yourself, magnifying your flaws, and forgetting there’s a wider world that offers both perspective and relief.
But when we only gaze inward, we isolate ourselves from life, community, and meaning. We inflate our burdens and lose sight of the beauty around us. The antidote? Turn your gaze outward. Let your life breathe again in connection, contribution, and service.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
The Mirage of Self-Focus
When you’re stuck in your head, every error feels fatal. Every criticism feels crushing. Every setback feels permanent. You spin—overthinking, replaying, analyzing—until your problems look like monsters.
I’ve been there. Trying to figure everything out before I moved, second-guessing every emotion, judging myself for what I felt. The more I did that, the more stuck I became.
Here’s what I finally came to see: self-focus without action is just self-absorption. You can think harder, but unless your gaze shifts, nothing changes.
Looking In vs Looking Out
Looking inward has its place—it can deepen self-awareness, healing, and growth. But only when balanced with looking outward.
When we only look in, we:
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Magnify small issues into crises
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Drown in self-criticism
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Lose touch with what really matters
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Disconnect from community
When we turn outward, we:
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Remember there are bigger stories than ours
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Find wisdom in serving, contributing, listening
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Lighten our own burdens by lifting others
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Reconnect with purpose beyond ourselves
The world doesn’t need more perfect self-reflection—it needs your presence. Your light. Your gift.
From Inside Spirals to Outside Impact
The shift out of navel-gazing is not denial. It’s not pretending nothing hurts. It’s choosing when to look inward—and when to look outward.
Here’s what it looked like for me:
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When pain surfaced, I wrote it out. Then I stepped outside my four walls and asked someone else how their day was.
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When fear whispered, I visited someone I knew needed encouragement—and I encouraged them.
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When shame rolled in, I shared a fragment of truth with a trusted friend—I turned inward language into outward connection.
I found that the more I did that, the less power my internal spirals had. The more I engaged in life, the smaller my worries seemed in comparison to what we could create together.
Step Outside Your Gaze
You don’t have to live life wrapped up in your own thoughts. Here are ways to shift your gaze outward, even when you feel pulled inward:
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Serve Someone Every Day
Small acts—listening, encouraging, volunteering—remind you that your struggles are not the whole world. -
Ask Questions, Then Listen
Ask someone else’s story, their fears, their joys. Let their story expand your soul. -
Join a Cause or Community
Be part of something bigger than yourself. Let your life connect with people, not isolate. -
Practice Gratitude Scans
Each day, list 3 things you see outside of you that bring joy—sunlight, a smile, a bird’s song. -
Pause the Mirror Time
When your thoughts spiral inward, pause and redirect—with kindness—to what’s outside: a walk, a view, a voice, a touch.
What Happens When You Look Out
When you step out of the spiral of navel gazing, something beautiful begins:
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Problems shrink. They don’t disappear, but they feel less overwhelming.
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You find solutions in unexpected places—through others, through service, through connection.
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You reclaim your place in life’s big story. You aren’t just a spectator—you’re a participant.
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You step into joy less burdened by the weight of your internal drama.
You begin to see that your life isn’t about solving every internal fault—it’s about living, with heart, with impact, with connection.
SLAY Reflection
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How often do you find yourself trapped in your own thoughts or problems?
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What costs you when you stay inward too long—peace? energy? relationships?
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What is one small act you can do today to shift your gaze outward?
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Who in your circle might need your presence, support, or listening?
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How might your life change when you stop magnifying your worries and start magnifying your service?
S – Stop spiraling inward without purpose
L – Look outward and engage with the world around you
A – Act small, act kind, act beyond yourself
Y – Yield your focus to meaning beyond your mind
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever caught yourself overthinking or turning inward too much—and what helped you shift your focus outward again?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck in their own head, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder to lift our gaze and reconnect with the world around us.
