Even though I am writing each day. talking about loving your authentic self, owning who you are and celebrating that, and I do that, I found myself recently, while I was working out, admiring someone else’s figure and wondering why I don’t look like that. I stopped myself and had to give myself a pep talk. Why do we as human beings compare ourselves with those around us, or those we see in the media, or on social media? Each of us is unique, and in terms of our bodies, we are all built differently, our skeletal systems, muscle mass, metabolisms, it makes no sense to compare ourselves with anyone, we’re not all playing with the same equipment. After my little pep talk mid-workout I had to laugh at myself, thinking, you know better, but we all do it at some point, and the trick is to change our thinking and appreciate who are we, what we’ve been through, how hard we work, and for the many ways we are all blessed. So, how do we do that if we’re stuck in comparison mode? Here are a few ways to get you back on the road of self-appreciation and self-love.
1) Focus on your victories. As much as we live in a culture of always wanting more, and wanting it bigger and faster, we need to focus on our own successes, what we’ve accomplished and overcome to get to where we are today. When we focus on our own personal wins we don’t tend to compare ourselves to the other people around us, we may have people in our lives who inspire us, or push us to the next level of being our best selves, that’s healthy, but you can’t compare apples and oranges, none of us are exactly the same, so focus on you and what others are doing becomes less significant in our lives.
2) Focus on the bigger things in life. It can be easy to caught up in wanting material things, but those things don’t give back to us. When we focus on giving back, on love, on empathy towards others, on humility, and being part of a community we tend to compare ourselves less to those around us. Make sure your time is spent on things that matter most, not just things to puff up your ego or to collect as trophies.
3) Appreciate others instead of competing against them. We live in a competitive world, and a little healthy competition can be good, but not when it becomes the sole purpose for you doing anything, and winning becomes your most important goal. Learn to work with others, compliment them when they do well, and work together as a team, when we build relationships and a community around us we don’t find the need to compete for the spotlight and to always be the best.
4) No one is perfect. I’ve talked about this before. We’re all here to learn. We all make mistakes…that’s how we learn. If we’re not making mistakes we’re not learning, we’re not growing, we’re not pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone to move on to where we’re supposed to be, we’re staying stuck. Every triumph comes with obstacles, so no one is getting a free ride over you. When we look at others through this perspective it helps us find compassion for them, and us, and it helps us connect with them instead of looking at them like they’re our competition.
5) You’re only competing against yourself. Really, at the end of the day, you are your only competition. You are the only one if playing with the exact same circumstances, tools, and parameters as you. Only you can compete against you. Let that be your motivation, your guide, your push, to be a better you than you were yesterday.
When we focus on ourselves, what we can be doing to broaden our world, to challenge ourselves and to give back we lose the need to compare ourselves to others and to put ourselves down for not being something we can never be, someone else. Celebrate who you are and were you’ve come from, and, set some attainable goals to challenge yourself and be your best you.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you constantly compare yourself to others? What about those people do you admire, or envy? Why do you think you can’t have a version of those things for yourself? We can never be someone else or have their exact life, and even if we could we’d probably find it wasn’t as rosy as we made it out to be in our minds, so of those things you admire, what can you do to find those or work on those in your life? How’s that self-love coming along SLAYER? Making progress? Or still struggling? Write down 5 things you admire about yourself, that you cannot buy. Write down 5 things you overcame last year that you are proud of. Now make a list of 5 things you would like to overcome this year. Get to work SLAYER, it’s all within your reach.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you