self-care

Empathy Without Boundaries Is Self-Destruction

Empathy is a beautiful gift—it allows us to connect, understand, and hold space for others in ways that make them feel seen and valued. But here’s the hard truth: without boundaries, empathy becomes a weapon turned inward. Instead of healing, it harms. Instead of connecting, it consumes.

Many of us who identify as “empaths” or deeply compassionate people have learned the hard way that pouring ourselves out for everyone else often leaves us running on empty. When we absorb other people’s pain without limit, when we rescue at our own expense, or when we carry burdens that don’t belong to us, we aren’t practicing empathy—we’re practicing self-destruction.

True empathy isn’t about losing yourself in someone else’s storm. It’s about holding space with compassion while knowing where you end and they begin. Boundaries are not walls; they are bridges of clarity that keep you safe while still allowing you to show up with love.

When Empathy Crosses the Line

It starts subtly. You say “yes” when you want to say “no.” You listen to someone’s problems at 2 a.m., even though you have to be up early for work. You absorb the emotions in a room until they feel like your own. And before long, your identity is tangled in other people’s struggles.

This isn’t empathy—it’s overextension. And over time, it erodes your mental health, your relationships, and your sense of self. Without boundaries, empathy mutates into people-pleasing, codependency, and burnout. It may look like kindness, but underneath it’s exhaustion and resentment.

Why Boundaries Save Empathy

Boundaries don’t make you less compassionate—they make your compassion sustainable. They protect your inner world so you can continue to give without losing yourself in the process.

Think of it this way: your empathy is a flame. Without boundaries, that flame burns everything in sight—including you. With boundaries, it becomes a steady light that warms without destroying.

When you set limits—saying no when you need to, protecting your energy, and remembering that someone else’s healing is not your responsibility—you create space for empathy that is genuine, not sacrificial.

My Own Turning Point

For years, I believed that to love meant to absorb. If someone was hurting, I carried it like it was my own. If someone was angry, I tried to fix it. If someone needed rescuing, I was already running into the fire.

But I learned the hard way that empathy without boundaries isn’t noble—it’s self-neglect. I was burning out, resentful, and wondering why I always felt unseen when I gave so much. The truth was, I wasn’t giving from love. I was giving from fear: fear of disappointing others, fear of being unlikable, fear of being seen as selfish.

When I finally learned that empathy needed boundaries, everything changed. I could still care, still show up, still love deeply—but without sacrificing my own well-being. I realized that the most powerful act of empathy sometimes is saying: “I love you, but that’s yours to carry, not mine.”

Choosing Sustainable Love

Empathy should not be self-destruction dressed up as kindness. Empathy with boundaries is love that endures—not just for others, but for yourself.

Boundaries aren’t cold, cruel, or selfish. They’re an act of love. They say: I care enough about myself to stay whole, and I care enough about you to show up from that wholeness instead of from depletion.

Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Protect your flame, and your empathy will continue to shine without burning you out.

SLAY Reflection

Take a moment to pause and reflect:

  • S – Stop: When was the last time your empathy drained you instead of uplifted you?
  • L – Look: Do you confuse empathy with rescuing, fixing, or absorbing other people’s pain?
  • A – Ask: What boundaries do you need to put in place so your empathy feels safe and sustainable?
  • Y – Yield: How can you release the responsibility for someone else’s emotions and return to your own?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever confused empathy with self-sacrifice? What boundary could you set today that would protect your compassion without draining your energy?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who is burning themselves out by carrying everyone else’s pain, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Put Your Own Mask On First

We hear it every time we board a plane: “In the event of a loss in cabin pressure, secure your own mask before assisting others.” It’s one of those instructions that seems counterintuitive—especially for the givers, the fixers, the caretakers among us. But when you stop to really think about it, it’s not just an airline safety rule—it’s a life lesson.

For a long time, I didn’t put on my own mask first. I’d jump in to help anyone else—whether they asked or not—believing it made me strong, loving, dependable. I was the one people could count on. But quietly, I was falling apart. I was suffocating. And I didn’t even realize it until I was gasping for air.

You Can’t Pour From an Empty Cup

We’ve all heard that saying, but how many of us actually live it?

If you’ve been conditioned to believe your worth is tied to your usefulness, rest might feel selfish. Saying no might feel wrong. Asking for space might trigger guilt. But here’s the truth: constantly abandoning yourself to show up for others isn’t noble—it’s a fast track to burnout, resentment, and disconnection.

When you give from depletion, your help comes with a cost. You’re exhausted. You’re short-fused. You’re giving, but secretly hoping for a thank you, some recognition, a return on your emotional investment. And when that doesn’t come? It hurts. Because beneath all that self-sacrifice, you’re still human.

Putting your own mask on first isn’t selfish—it’s survival. It’s sustainability. It’s strength. When you’re nourished, rested, grounded—you give from overflow, not from emptiness. And everyone benefits from that version of you.

Self-Care Isn’t a Luxury—It’s a Responsibility

Somewhere along the way, we started seeing self-care as optional—as a bubble bath or a bonus. But self-care is how you keep yourself whole. It’s how you stay aligned. It’s the system check that makes sure you’re not running on fumes.

It’s not always glamorous. Sometimes, self-care is a boundary. Sometimes it’s canceling plans. Sometimes it’s letting someone else figure it out, even when you could fix it. It’s trusting that people can handle their own discomfort—and that it’s not your job to keep everything calm.

The truth is, constantly putting others first is often rooted in fear: What if they get mad? What if they leave? What if they think I’m selfish?

But ask yourself this: If you keep abandoning yourself to meet everyone else’s needs, what are you teaching them? That your needs don’t matter. That you’ll always sacrifice yourself. That love looks like martyrdom.

It doesn’t.

Show Up for You—First

Putting your own mask on first means taking inventory of your energy. It means asking: Am I okay? What do I need right now? Am I being honest about my limits?

When you start showing up for yourself, everything shifts. Your relationships become more balanced. Your boundaries become clearer. You stop saying yes when you mean no. You stop fixing what isn’t yours. And you start building a life that includes you.

This doesn’t mean you stop helping others. It just means you stop bleeding out for them. You choose to care without collapsing. You choose to support without suffocating. You choose to love from wholeness—not from empty lungs.

You’re not here to save everyone. You’re here to be you. And that’s more than enough.

So the next time you feel that urge to abandon yourself to keep the peace, to overextend just to be liked, or to put everyone ahead of you—pause. Breathe. Reach for your own mask first.

That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you feel guilty putting your needs before others? Why?
  2. What areas of your life have suffered because you’ve neglected yourself?
  3. When was the last time you truly paused and checked in with you?
  4. How would your life change if you consistently put your needs first?
  5. What’s one small act of self-care you can commit to today?

S – Stop and assess what you really need
L – Let go of guilt tied to prioritizing yourself
A – Allow yourself to rest, recharge, and reset
Y – Yield to your own healing so you can truly thrive

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What does putting your own mask on first look like for you—and how has it changed your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who always puts themselves last, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Be Your Own Fairy Godmother

Some of us grew up believing someone would swoop in and fix everything. A magical godmother. A rescuer. A sign from the universe that now is the time, that this is the moment our lives change for the better.

But here’s the truth no one tells you as a kid:

The magic wand is already in your hands.

Waiting for someone else to save you keeps you stuck. Hoping for permission to live fully delays your joy. You don’t need a fairy godmother. You just need to believe in your own power to create change, healing, and magic.

You don’t need a transformation. You need a reminder of who you already are.

I Spent Years Waiting for a Rescue

I thought love would save me. Or success. Or finally being “enough.”

I believed that if I kept trying, kept achieving, kept pleasing, eventually someone would say, “You’ve made it. You’re worthy now.”

But that moment never came—because I was looking outside of myself for something only I could give.

It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I realized no one was coming to save me. I had to be the one to pull myself out. I had to be the one to say, “Enough. I choose me now.”

It wasn’t a grand, glittery moment. It was quiet. Personal. But it changed everything.

When you stop waiting to be chosen, and choose yourself instead, that’s when the real magic begins.

And that decision? It didn’t come from perfection. It came from truth. From realizing that I deserved better—not someday, but right now.

Create Your Own Magic

We’ve been taught that magic looks like glass slippers and pumpkin carriages. But real magic? It’s setting boundaries. It’s speaking your truth. It’s taking the brave next step—even when your voice shakes.

It’s no longer waiting for someone to tell you that you’re ready. You already are.

It’s recognizing that you are worthy of love, rest, joy, peace, and purpose—without having to earn it.

Magic is found in the everyday moments when you show up for yourself. When you advocate for your well-being. When you care for your spirit. When you speak kindly to your reflection.

Magic is deciding not to abandon yourself again.

It’s building a life that honors your truth, your pace, your values. Not the ones someone else handed you.

You don’t need a crown. You don’t need a costume. You don’t need anyone’s permission.

You’ve had the power all along.

Let this be your reminder: You are the magic. You are the moment. You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • Where in your life are you waiting for someone to rescue or choose you?
  • What would it look like to choose yourself instead?
  • What’s one area where you can take your power back today?
  • What belief about worth or magic are you ready to release?
  • How can you show up for yourself like someone who truly has your back?

S – L – A – Y

S: See where you’ve been waiting for permission.
L: Listen to what your inner voice truly wants.
A: Act from a place of self-trust, not self-doubt.
Y: Yield to your own magic—it’s been waiting for you.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever realized you were the one you’ve been waiting for?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck waiting to be saved, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Invest In Yourself

When people talk about investments, they usually mean stocks, property, or retirement accounts. But there’s one investment that’s even more critical: you.

Your well-being—mental, emotional, and physical—is the foundation for everything else in your life. When you prioritize yourself, everything else gets better: your relationships, your career, your creativity, your peace of mind. Yet, so many of us wait until we’re completely burned out, overwhelmed, or spiraling to give ourselves the care we need.

It doesn’t have to be that way. It shouldn’t be that way.

Why Investing in Yourself Matters

The truth is, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you’re constantly giving to others without replenishing yourself, you’re operating from depletion. Eventually, something gives.

Investing in yourself doesn’t mean spa days and bubble baths—though those are lovely. It means making consistent choices that nurture your well-being. It means saying no when something compromises your peace. It means taking the time to listen to your own needs, even if others don’t understand.

For me, investing in myself looked like finally saying yes to therapy. It looked like turning down invitations that drained me, and instead spending quiet time journaling, walking, or simply being. It looked like learning how to support myself the way I’d supported everyone else for years.

It was uncomfortable at first. I worried I was being selfish. But I realized: prioritizing yourself is not selfish—it’s survival. And over time, I saw how much better I could show up for others when I was also showing up for myself.

The ROI of Self-Investment

When you invest in yourself, you start to:

  • Build resilience
  • Strengthen your boundaries
  • Increase your capacity for joy
  • Reconnect with your purpose
  • Attract healthier relationships

And perhaps most importantly, you start to trust yourself more deeply. You become someone you can rely on. That’s powerful.

Start Where You Are

You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Start with one intentional choice a day. One small way to say, “I matter.” Maybe it’s drinking a full glass of water first thing in the morning. Maybe it’s taking five minutes to breathe. Maybe it’s setting a boundary you’ve been avoiding.

Whatever it is, let that choice be an act of self-respect.

Because when you invest in your well-being, you’re not just surviving—you’re building a life that supports you.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What does investing in yourself mean to you personally?
  2. What small act of self-care can you commit to today?
  3. Do you feel guilty prioritizing your well-being? Why?
  4. How might your relationships shift if you were more centered and grounded?
  5. What would change if you treated your mental health like a top priority?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Say yes to what nourishes you
  • Let go of guilt and shame
  • Act with intention, not obligation
  • You are worth the effort

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can invest in your well-being this week?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s always giving but rarely giving to themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Manifest Your Life

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it really means to manifest the life you want. For me, right now, it means making my own opportunities, not waiting for things to magically align. It means looking for the voids in what’s already there and figuring out how my talents and gifts can best be utilized. It means seeking inspiration from what already exists, then adding my own spin. It’s not about sitting around and dreaming; it’s about rolling up my sleeves, doing the work, and creating the life I want.

Taking Action Over Dreaming

Manifestation isn’t about wishing or hoping that things will get better. It’s about becoming an active participant in your own journey. I used to think that if I visualized enough, or just stayed positive, the universe would magically deliver. But what I’ve learned is that the universe meets us where we are—and we need to meet it halfway.

Manifesting means being intentional about what we want, but it also means moving with courage toward those goals. It’s about spotting the gaps and opportunities in your life and stepping into them. It’s about creating solutions, not waiting for them.

So I ask myself:

  • What areas of my life feel stagnant?
  • Where do I feel a pull to create something new?
  • How can I take my unique skills and perspectives and bring them to the table?

The Power of Inspired Action

Inspiration is everywhere. Look at what already exists—the businesses, projects, stories—and ask yourself: What’s missing? What would make this better? How can I bring my unique perspective to this space?

For me, this journey has meant embracing the idea that I’m the architect of my life. I’ve stopped waiting for someone to hand me the blueprint. Instead, I’m sketching it myself. That doesn’t mean it’s easy, and it doesn’t mean the plan is always clear, but it does mean I’m taking action rather than waiting for permission.

The universe loves movement. When we act, even in small ways, we generate momentum. We show that we’re serious about the life we’re building. That’s when opportunities start to show up—sometimes in the most unexpected places.

Letting Go of Perfection

One thing that held me back for years was the belief that I had to have it all figured out before I could start. That I needed to know exactly what I was doing, where I was going, and how it was going to turn out. But life doesn’t work that way.

Perfectionism is the enemy of progress. When we wait for the perfect moment or perfect plan, we risk never starting at all. I’ve learned to embrace the idea of starting before I feel ready, of learning as I go, and of adjusting the course as needed.

It’s not about getting it right on the first try—it’s about having the courage to try at all.

Manifestation Through Community

Manifesting your life doesn’t mean doing it all alone. Some of the most beautiful things I’ve created have come from collaborating with others, from sharing ideas and getting feedback, from leaning on a supportive network.

When I’m feeling stuck, I reach out. I ask for input. I listen to stories of how others have overcome challenges. Community fuels creativity, and connection reminds us that we’re not alone in this journey.

If you’re feeling isolated, reach out. Connect with someone who inspires you. Share your ideas. Be open to where the conversation might lead.

Living It Today

Manifesting isn’t about some future version of your life. It’s about living with intention today. It’s about making the most of this moment, taking the next step, and trusting that each step will lead you closer to where you’re meant to be.

So today, I’m asking myself:

  • What small action can I take today that will move me forward?
  • How can I show up for myself in this moment?
  • What can I create today that will make me proud tomorrow?

I’m choosing to live my manifestation in real time—not as a wish, but as a practice.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Are you waiting for permission to go after what you want?
  • What opportunities or gaps do you see around you?
  • How can your unique perspective and talents fill those spaces?
  • Are you stuck in perfectionism or fear? What’s one action you can take today?
  • Who can you reach out to for inspiration or support?
  • How can you live your manifestation today, not tomorrow?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one action you’re ready to take to manifest your life?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s inspire each other to take bold steps.

And if you know someone who’s ready to start manifesting their dreams, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a spark to start creating our own magic.

SLAY on.

Rest and Digest: The Power of the Pause

There was a time in my life when I reacted to everything.

Fast. Defensive. Ready to pounce.

I lived in constant fight or flight mode—responding not from thought, but from fear. It felt like life was a game show, and I had to buzz in before the question was even finished. But spoiler alert: there was no prize behind door number two. Just more stress, more chaos, and more regret.

I wasn’t resting.
I wasn’t digesting.
I was just surviving.

Living on the Edge (and Not in a Good Way)

Before I started walking this path of healing, I had no self-care. No grounding. No pause. I was always “on.” And that always-on state pushed me into situations where I wasn’t proud of how I showed up. I wanted to be right. I wanted to win. And I never stopped to ask myself if being right was worth the cost of peace—or relationships.

I’ve written before about the power of the pause, and I’ll say it again here:
That pause saved me.
It taught me to breathe.
To reflect.
To choose differently.

Response Over Reaction

In recovery, I had to retrain my brain. I made a commitment to myself:

  • Don’t act right away.

  • Don’t respond just to fill the silence.

  • Don’t feel pressured to have the answer right now.

I started saying things like,

“Let me think about that.”
“I need to check in with myself.”
“Can I get back to you?”

Those phrases were a revelation.
Because life is not a game show—there’s no buzzer, no penalty for taking your time.
In fact, slowing down is often how we win.

Self-Care Creates Space

Making rest and nourishment a priority changed everything for me.

When I’m rested, fed, and grounded, I don’t jump into the fire—I assess the flames. I choose how I want to show up. I give myself the chance to respond instead of react.

And when I pause, I listen better. I learn more. I catch myself before I repeat an old pattern.

Reacting is living in the past.
Responding is choosing from the present.

When the World Feels Like Too Much

We’re living in challenging times. The news is overwhelming. Emotions are high. People are hurting.
But when everything feels loud and urgent, that’s exactly when we need to rest and digest.

We may not be able to control what’s happening around us—but we can absolutely control how we move through it. We can hit pause. We can take care of ourselves. And we can choose to respond from a place of calm, compassion, and clarity.

That’s how we move forward. Together.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Do you find yourself reacting before fully thinking things through?

  • Why do you think you do that?

  • How has it affected your relationships or peace of mind?

  • Have you ever regretted jumping in too quickly? Did you make amends—or avoid it?

  • How do you feel when you think back on those moments?

  • What would pausing look like for you?

  • How can you begin to practice rest and reflection before action?

Take a breath, SLAYER.
Let your calm lead the way.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you pause when life feels overwhelming?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who tends to react fast and regret later, send this to them.
Sometimes, we all need a gentle reminder that the pause is where the peace lives.

Start With Gratitude, End With Thank You

The Shift from Despair to Gratitude

There was a time when I woke up dreading the day ahead—angry that I had even woken up. I wasn’t looking for a new start. I wasn’t searching for light. I was living in a cycle of silent suffering, hoping that sleep would take me away from it all. But hoping isn’t a plan. Hoping isn’t healing.

It wasn’t until desperation pushed me to the edge that I found the courage to ask for help. That moment—the moment of deciding to share my truth—was my first act of gratitude, even if I didn’t see it that way at the time. It was gratitude for my own life, for a future I wasn’t sure I deserved but was willing to fight for.

Bookending the Day

When I reflect on how I stay positive—especially during challenging or uncertain times—I always come back to this: I begin and end my day with gratitude. It’s not complicated. Sometimes it’s a list. Sometimes it’s a pause and a silent thought. But it anchors me.

Throughout the day, life happens. Stress, frustration, and setbacks can pull me off course. But when I revisit my gratitude list—or take a small positive action—I’m reminded of what matters. At the end of the day, I say thank you. For everything. For the lessons, for the moments of peace, for the people, for the growth.

Living with Gratitude

Starting and ending the day with gratitude doesn’t guarantee a perfect day, but it sets the tone. It creates space for positivity. It invites me to see beyond the challenges.

When I wake up with dread, I pause and ask myself what I’m grateful for. Even on the toughest days, there’s something—a sliver of light, a moment of connection, a breath. And when I plan something to look forward to after a difficult task, it keeps me anchored in possibility.

Living a life of gratitude means being intentional. It means creating moments of thankfulness and allowing them to guide us. It’s not about ignoring hardship—it’s about finding resilience through gratitude.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you tend to start your day in a positive or negative mood?

  • What triggers a negative start for you?

  • How can you turn it around?

  • Have you tried gratitude practices before? If so, what worked? What didn’t?

  • Do you allow a negative morning to affect your entire day?

  • How can you incorporate gratitude into your routine to shift your mindset?

  • Do you consciously end your day with thankfulness? Why or why not?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re grateful for today?
Share it in the comments. Let’s uplift each other with gratitude.

And if you know someone struggling to find positivity, send this to them.
Sometimes, a simple “thank you” can be the spark they need.

You Set The Tone To How You Want To Feel

When I stepped onto this path, I was told, “You can just decide to have a good day, and it will happen.” I thought that was ridiculous. Clearly, these people didn’t understand how bad my life was or what a piece of crap I thought I was. But they insisted—and over time, I realized they were right.

At the start, my mind was rarely positive. I had to practice focusing on the good. I began writing down the things I was grateful for—sometimes only one thing, but it still counted. I’d carry that piece of paper in my pocket, and when the shadows crept in, I’d take it out and read it aloud. Just that simple act would bring some light back.

As I got better at it, my mind cleared, and the list of good things grew—as did the light and positivity in my life.

Building a Solid Foundation

To feel good, I had to do good things for myself. Self-care wasn’t just a buzzword—it became a necessity. For me, that meant:

  • Getting enough sleep

  • Eating well

  • Moving my body in some way

  • Connecting with my spiritual side

These were the key ingredients that gave me the best shot at having a good day.

And here’s a secret I learned: even if the day took a turn for the dark, I could still infuse it with light and turn it around. We’re not victims of our thoughts or feelings—unless we choose to be.

Staying Present in Uncertainty

During times of uncertainty, feelings can creep in and derail our day if we let them. It’s crucial to stay connected to what we’re feeling and why. Many times, those feelings point to something we’re holding onto from the past.

Setting an intention for positivity—of staying present and in the moment—cuts those ties to the past. If our mind drifts back, we can acknowledge it without letting it take over.

We set the tone for our day, SLAYER, so let’s make sure we’re setting a good one.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you feel like you’re bullied by your own feelings and thoughts?

  • Do you set an intention for your day?

  • When you do, are you able to hold onto it? If not, what pulls you away?

  • What kind of intention do you set?

  • Can you work harder on setting a positive tone for your day? What steps could you take?

  • How can you pause in the morning and decide to have a positive day?

  • How can you shift back into a positive mindset if negativity creeps in?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one intention you’ll set for yourself tomorrow morning?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to set a positive tone for their day, send this to them.
Sometimes, we all need a little reminder of our power.

Kindness Is Contagious

Kindness. It’s something we should all be happy to spread around, and it only takes a second. These days, when we’re out in the world, the energy around us is often filled with nervousness, frustration, fear, or just the urge to get back home safely. Amidst all that, we should always remember to be kind.

The Power of a Simple Gesture

We’re all in the same boat. Some are still trying to get essentials and supplies, navigating through aisles, following store arrows, finding empty shelves, or limits on how much they can buy. And if you’re like me, you can feel that energy and begin to take it on as your own. But that’s where kindness comes in—because the antidote to all of that is kindness.

When I focus on being kind, it calms me. It keeps me steady, considerate, and compassionate toward others who are navigating those same aisles, looking for the same things. When a moment presents itself—whether it’s a smile, a thank you, or a small act of service—I see the result in the eyes of the person in front of me. It changes their energy. We all have the power to be kind. And especially now, we should be wielding it like a superpower.

A Shift from Self to Service

When I was living in the dark, I still had that power, but most of the time I chose not to use it. I was focused on what life could give me, what I could take, and how life had let me down. That mindset kept me sick, miserable, and isolated. Sure, there were moments of kindness, but for the most part, I was too wrapped up in myself.

When I began my recovery journey, I was told that a big part of my healing would come from being of service to others. I didn’t believe I had anything to give at first. But I was reminded that I could always be kind. Just focusing on kindness shifted my thinking and lifted my mood as I stepped out each day. Even when I didn’t feel up to it, I was told those were the days I needed to lean into kindness even more.

And they were right.

Even on my darkest days, when I mustered up kindness for someone else, it changed me. It brought light into a dark moment. Kindness is contagious not just for those receiving it—but for us too.

Little Acts, Big Impact

Today, I make a point of looking for those moments of kindness. Even a simple “hello” or “how are you” can shift the energy. Just yesterday at the pharmacy, I asked the man behind the counter how he was. He looked at me, paused, smiled, and said, “I’m fine, and thank you for asking.” His energy lifted. We shared a brief, pleasant exchange, and both of us felt the power of kindness.

Spreading Light in Uncertain Times

It’s easy to rush through life, hyper-focused on the tasks at hand. But let’s not forget the others out there who may be under stress, fear, or anxiety. Let’s take an extra moment to check in, to say thank you to the front-line workers, the grocery clerks, the baristas, the people taking our temperatures. Let them know they are seen and appreciated.

We’re all in this together. Why not spread something good while we’re out there? Let your kindness be a light in an uncertain time.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • When you’re out in the world, do you make a point of being kind?

  • If not, why not?

  • How do you feel when someone says or does something kind for you?

  • How do you feel when you offer kindness to someone else?

  • Have you made an extra effort to be kind lately? If not, why?

  • Has someone been extra kind to you? How did that feel?

That feeling is a gift we can offer to anyone we see—and it’s a gift we’ll get back when we do.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one simple act of kindness you can offer today—big or small?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s lift each other up.

And if you know someone who could use a little kindness, send this to them.
Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder that kindness is powerful.

Do You Like Yourself?

I used to say yes. To your face, I’d smile and say, “Of course I do!” But inside, the truth was always no.

From as far back as I can remember, I felt I wasn’t good enough. I thought I was weird, different, and if you knew who I really was, you wouldn’t like me. I set impossible standards for myself, and every time I couldn’t meet them, I’d beat myself up. Over the years, those unrealistic expectations grew bigger—and so did my self-hatred.

I had a constant, negative narrative running in my head, berating myself for not measuring up. My lack of self-love dragged me to darker places, until I stopped caring about my well-being. I took dangerous chances with my life, not because I wanted to die, but because I didn’t care if I lived.

It was only through a friend that I found the courage to reach out for help. That was the beginning of a new path—and the road from self-hatred to self-love was bumpy, messy, and full of stumbles. But it was worth every single one.

Starting with Forgiveness

When I began this journey, I couldn’t even look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” Just thinking about it makes me sad now. But I knew if I was ever going to like myself, I had to start by forgiving myself. And that wasn’t something I could do alone. I worked with a mental health professional and found support in groups of people walking the same path. Their guidance helped me move forward and start believing that I was worth forgiveness.

Gratitude and Giving Back

Gratitude was a key step. In the beginning, it felt nearly impossible, but I was encouraged to start with just one thing each day—one thing I was grateful for, and one thing I liked about myself. Some days I struggled to find even one, but I’d write it down and carry it in my pocket. Whenever I felt discouraged or fearful, I’d take it out and remind myself.

And then there was giving back. Early in my journey, I was shown that we always have something to give, even if we don’t think we do. Simply sharing our truth, asking someone how their day is, or offering a kind word can lift not just them, but also us. No matter how far down we may feel, someone else may feel even lower, and reaching out creates a connection.

Reflection in a Time of Pause

During this time of social distancing and isolation, when the world feels paused, we have an opportunity to ask ourselves: do I like who I am? If not, why? This is the perfect time to explore those feelings and make positive changes. And if we struggle to find things we like about ourselves, it’s okay to ask a trusted friend or family member what they see in us. Sometimes, seeing ourselves through their eyes helps us find the light.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Would you say you like yourself? If not, why not?

  • If you do, what do you like about yourself?

  • Have you always liked yourself? If not, what changed?

  • If you don’t like yourself, was there a time when you did? What changed?

  • What can you do today to find something you like about yourself?

  • What are you grateful for today?

Focus on those things, SLAYER. Challenge yourself to discover more in the days to come. Ask others for their insights. Make sure the reasons you tell yourself don’t keep you stuck in negativity. And if they do, ask why you’re holding onto them. Learn to let them go, or forgive yourself for them. Self-love—or even just self-like—is waiting. Take that first step today.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you like about yourself today?
Share it in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs this message, send it to them.
Sometimes, a little reminder is all it takes to start a journey.