Good morning SLAYER! Our only competition is ourselves, and our only job is to be better than we were the last time, or, the best we can be in that moment. Let go of expectations that get in your way of enjoying yourself and your life, and allow yourself to let the people in who love and care about you.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
I was reminded the other day how sneaky the ego can be. It shows up when we least expect it, whispering tales of inadequacy, pushing us to do more, be more, prove ourselves—sometimes even at the cost of our well-being.
For so long, I let my ego lead the way. Even in my darkest moments, when I felt broken and unworthy, my ego clung to its illusion of control. It told me I was too good to admit defeat, too strong to ask for help, too proud to let anyone see me vulnerable. I may have felt like a failure, but I was going to be the most impressive failure you’d ever met.
Even today, when I’m in a better place, my ego tries to step in. It tells me I should be doing more, having more, being more. It convinces me to push harder, to disregard my needs, to ignore the quiet voice inside me that speaks of self-care and balance.
Ego latches on to everything—an achievement, a relationship, a dream, an idea. It clings and demands recognition. But when we practice detachment, we loosen its grip.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
Detachment isn’t easy. From an early age, we’re taught to chase results: the prize at the end of the race, the grade at the top of the paper, the validation that makes us feel worthy. But what if we measured success not by accolades, but by the intention behind our actions?
Every day brings its own challenges. We wake up with different energy, different emotions, and different capacities. Instead of holding ourselves to impossible standards, what if we simply did our best each day and called that enough?
The ego might shudder at the thought. But here’s the truth: Detachment is where we find freedom.
When we detach from the ego’s grip, we give ourselves permission to live authentically. We stop measuring our worth by external markers and start appreciating our effort, our resilience, and our humanity.
SLAY on.
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you step back from your ego’s grip and embrace detachment?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s lift each other up.
And if you know someone struggling with self-worth and expectations, send this to them.
Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder: you are enough.
Good morning SLAYER! We are in charge of our anger, if we are feeling angry it’s our job to figure out why before we act out on it and possibly do or say something we can’t take back. Pause before you act.
New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!
We’ve all felt it—that boiling surge of frustration, the kind that hits you like a tidal wave and demands to be noticed. But here’s a question we don’t ask often enough: What is your anger really trying to tell you?
It’s easy to blame the person or situation in front of us, but most of the time, the fury isn’t actually about the moment at hand. It’s about something deeper. A past hurt. A lingering wound. A time you weren’t heard, respected, protected. So before you explode, pause. Ask yourself: Where is this really coming from?
For many of us, anger is an old friend. It comes from childhood trauma, from being dismissed, silenced, bullied, or made to feel small. When those memories go unprocessed, they fester. And when something in the present taps on that old bruise?
We react.
And we react big.
I used to live in that space. I didn’t always know why I was so angry, but it was always simmering, ready to spill. I lashed out. I snapped. And more often than not, I had to circle back with an apology to someone who got hit with the shrapnel of my unresolved pain.
But here’s the thing: that anger was valuable. It wasn’t just chaos—it was a clue. A road map pointing me to the places inside that still needed healing.
If you’re like me, you may need some help unpacking your anger. And that’s okay. Anger is loud. It covers things up. But underneath it?
There’s usually sadness. Hurt. Shame. Fear.
When you get curious instead of combative, you give yourself the power to shift from reactive to responsive.
Here are five practices that help me navigate my anger today:
Here’s what I know now: we are not built to live in a state of constant rage. That’s not power, that’s pain. And it will eat you from the inside if you don’t find a healthier way to understand it.
Be the detective. Find your triggers. Get curious about your reactions. Let your anger lead you to the parts of yourself that still need attention—then offer those parts compassion.
When you do the work, when you learn to listen, anger becomes less of a wrecking ball and more of a compass.
And that, my friend, is how you slay.
SLAY Reflection
S-L-A-Y:
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What is your anger really trying to tell you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s struggling with anger, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder.
I used to believe I had to be perfect to show up.
Perfect timing. Perfect skills. Perfect hair, even. And if things didn’t line up just right—if I didn’t line up just right—I’d sit it out. I’d pass on the opportunity. I’d talk myself out of the dream. Looking back, I can’t count the chances I missed because I let perfectionism run the show.
But perfection is a lie we tell ourselves when we’re scared.
It gives us a reason to wait, to hide, to stay small. We convince ourselves we’re not ready, not worthy, not enough—so we don’t begin. But here’s the truth: Perfection is not required. Showing up is.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
No one has it all figured out. No plan is bulletproof. No path is paved just right. Life is messy, and we’re messy too.
The trick is to move forward anyway.
Start with what you’ve got. Doubt? Bring it. Fear? Take it with you. Confusion? Totally normal. You don’t need to wait for the moment to be perfect—you just need to be brave enough to begin.
It reminds me of being a kid on the playground, standing in front of a merry-go-round already spinning. I’d spot my opening, take a breath, and jump. Was it scary? Sure. But it was also thrilling. I didn’t need a guarantee—I just needed to go for it.
So why do we stop doing that?
Because we’ve fallen. We’ve been judged. We’ve been told to wait until we’re “ready.” But the only way to be ready is to start anyway.
Let me say this loud for the people in the back:
You are already worthy of showing up.
You don’t have to be “fixed” or “perfect” or polished to begin. The real magic happens when you show up as you are. That’s what makes you relatable. That’s what makes you real.
You are perfect in your imperfection. Unique. Valuable. Needed.
And when you let go of chasing perfect, something incredible happens—you start living. You stop waiting. You begin to believe in what’s possible for you.
So whatever it is you’ve been putting off—start it. Show up. Say yes. Jump in. Your life isn’t waiting for perfect. It’s waiting for you.
SLAY Reflection
S-L-A-Y:
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What have you been putting off because it wasn’t perfect?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s stuck waiting for the “right time,” send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
We’ve all sat and thought about the things we should be doing, we should exercise more, we should eat better, we should get more sleep, we should apply for that job…the list goes on. It’s easy to live in the shoulds, but the shoulds don’t get us anywhere except adding to an unending list that we allow to pull us down into resentment and despair because we’re not taking action so the list just keeps growing longer and longer. The shoulds are typically seen as a negative because we’re not executing them, they hang around and nag us, but until we change them into coulds, they will continue to drag us down.
Living in a place of could is a more positive place. A place of possibility, of hope, and of change. Just changing our attitude from should to could isn’t enough though, but it is a start. We can take our should list and make a conscious effort to change it into our could list, and then from there take action where we can. It’s a matter of perspective and how we choose to look at the things we want in our life. We have the power to make change, we have the power to go after what we want, to have those things on our list, but it requires us to actually pull the trigger and do the work, magical thinking will not get us magical results. When we’re living in the shoulds, and in negative thinking, we limit our view to the outside world, it gets narrow, we only concentrate on what we’re not doing or getting instead of changing what we can, our limited view only lets us see what we don’t have, it can paralyze us. Negative thoughts don’t allow us to see the choices we have around us, thinking we have none, we give up. But when we live in the coulds our brain sees the possibility, it opens up our mind to more options, which in turn allows us to build new skills that can help us eventually get from could to did, which is ultimately where we want to go. So, how do we achieve more positive thinking in our lives?
The more joy, love, and contentment we feel in our lives, the more positive we feel. So, if you don’t know already what in your life brings you those things, it’s about finding them and what fills you up, what nourishes you, what excites you, what makes you smile. Do those activities to help you focus and find a more positive outlook, or find new activities that can help you, maybe, meditation, writing, and play time. Now I know some of you cringe at the word meditation, and think it is only sitting quietly with a clear mind. Next to impossible right? But there are many different ways one can meditate, for me, what works best, is a walking meditation, getting out in nature, by myself, and starting a conversation with myself about what’s going on, what I’m concerned about, what I’d like to try, whatever is on my mind. Just breathing the air, taking time to soak up my surroundings and just being with myself, helps me to sort through many issues or mental blocks that I may be experiencing. There are many different ways to meditate, find one that works for you. Writing is also a good one. I was never a writer before this journey, I would never just sit down and write, but I found that when I did interesting things would come out of it, things I didn’t even know I thought, or felt, would pour out onto the page or screen, don’t think about it, just start writing. And, if you’re struggling with positivity in your life, write down five positive things at the bottom of the page each time. If you have a hard time starting to write, maybe start with what the benefits are of accomplishing each item on your should list, how would that benefit you, how would that change your life. Focus on the positive nature of doing good things for yourself and improving your life with those actions. The third activity, play, make sure to schedule fun in your life, those things that make you smile, laugh, or fill you with joy. There are always things we have to do that we don’t necessarily want to do so I always make sure to bookend those things with something fun, something I enjoy or like to do, that way I’m going into the not so fun activity with joy and I have something to look forward to when I finish.
When we feel good about ourselves, finding love, joy, and contentment in our day, we find it easier to go from should to could, and, taking action with our could list, we ultimately find that list turned from could to did. You can do it SLAYER, I know you can, but it starts with believing you can and then pulling the trigger and doing it.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you make excuses for not going after or doing the things on your should list? What’s stopping you? Are these legitimate reasons, or excuses? What can you do to start to take action on the items on your should list? Pick one. What can you do to tackle this? Have you tried in the past? How did you fail? How did you succeed, even if it was just a little. How can you try to tackle it in a different way than last time? Do you believe you can tackle and take action on the items on your should list? If not why? You can SLAYER. You have the power to do that, it just takes commitment and some work, but it’s worth it, you’re worth it, start small and build from there. Each step you take in a positive way will build a strong foundation under your feet, and help you build the skills you need to continue moving forward. SLAY on.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you
Good morning SLAYER! The first step to change is to recognize our own bullshit, then we’re better able to bulldoze through others’.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
Good morning SLAYER! It is important to check in with ourselves, but it’s just as important to check in with the world around us, to broaden our view and see what’s in front of us.
New blog goes up Sunday, until then…SLAY on!
There’s a danger in looking inward too much—when your world becomes a mirror that shows only your problems, your pain, your fears. That’s what it means to be a navel gazer: constantly watching yourself, magnifying your flaws, and forgetting there’s a wider world that offers both perspective and relief.
But when we only gaze inward, we isolate ourselves from life, community, and meaning. We inflate our burdens and lose sight of the beauty around us. The antidote? Turn your gaze outward. Let your life breathe again in connection, contribution, and service.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
When you’re stuck in your head, every error feels fatal. Every criticism feels crushing. Every setback feels permanent. You spin—overthinking, replaying, analyzing—until your problems look like monsters.
I’ve been there. Trying to figure everything out before I moved, second-guessing every emotion, judging myself for what I felt. The more I did that, the more stuck I became.
Here’s what I finally came to see: self-focus without action is just self-absorption. You can think harder, but unless your gaze shifts, nothing changes.
Looking inward has its place—it can deepen self-awareness, healing, and growth. But only when balanced with looking outward.
When we only look in, we:
Magnify small issues into crises
Drown in self-criticism
Lose touch with what really matters
Disconnect from community
When we turn outward, we:
Remember there are bigger stories than ours
Find wisdom in serving, contributing, listening
Lighten our own burdens by lifting others
Reconnect with purpose beyond ourselves
The world doesn’t need more perfect self-reflection—it needs your presence. Your light. Your gift.
The shift out of navel-gazing is not denial. It’s not pretending nothing hurts. It’s choosing when to look inward—and when to look outward.
Here’s what it looked like for me:
When pain surfaced, I wrote it out. Then I stepped outside my four walls and asked someone else how their day was.
When fear whispered, I visited someone I knew needed encouragement—and I encouraged them.
When shame rolled in, I shared a fragment of truth with a trusted friend—I turned inward language into outward connection.
I found that the more I did that, the less power my internal spirals had. The more I engaged in life, the smaller my worries seemed in comparison to what we could create together.
You don’t have to live life wrapped up in your own thoughts. Here are ways to shift your gaze outward, even when you feel pulled inward:
Serve Someone Every Day
Small acts—listening, encouraging, volunteering—remind you that your struggles are not the whole world.
Ask Questions, Then Listen
Ask someone else’s story, their fears, their joys. Let their story expand your soul.
Join a Cause or Community
Be part of something bigger than yourself. Let your life connect with people, not isolate.
Practice Gratitude Scans
Each day, list 3 things you see outside of you that bring joy—sunlight, a smile, a bird’s song.
Pause the Mirror Time
When your thoughts spiral inward, pause and redirect—with kindness—to what’s outside: a walk, a view, a voice, a touch.
When you step out of the spiral of navel gazing, something beautiful begins:
Problems shrink. They don’t disappear, but they feel less overwhelming.
You find solutions in unexpected places—through others, through service, through connection.
You reclaim your place in life’s big story. You aren’t just a spectator—you’re a participant.
You step into joy less burdened by the weight of your internal drama.
You begin to see that your life isn’t about solving every internal fault—it’s about living, with heart, with impact, with connection.
How often do you find yourself trapped in your own thoughts or problems?
What costs you when you stay inward too long—peace? energy? relationships?
What is one small act you can do today to shift your gaze outward?
Who in your circle might need your presence, support, or listening?
How might your life change when you stop magnifying your worries and start magnifying your service?
S – Stop spiraling inward without purpose
L – Look outward and engage with the world around you
A – Act small, act kind, act beyond yourself
Y – Yield your focus to meaning beyond your mind
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever caught yourself overthinking or turning inward too much—and what helped you shift your focus outward again?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck in their own head, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder to lift our gaze and reconnect with the world around us.
I used to think being stubborn made me strong.
I wore my “wood-head” nickname like a badge of honor, proud that no one could get me to change my mind once it was made up. I believed my rigidity protected me.
But what it really did was keep me stuck.
I was unyielding, closed off, and resistant to change. And eventually, I broke.
I hit the floor, empty and out of options. My stubbornness wasn’t strength—it was a wall between me and growth, between me and peace.
When I finally made the choice to walk a better path, I realized I could channel that same stubbornness into something good.
I learned to use it to push through the tough days, to hold myself accountable, and to keep moving forward even when old behaviors tried to pull me back.
Instead of fighting against myself, I started fighting for myself.
Life is always changing, tossing curveballs our way. If we cling to what’s familiar, we stay stuck. But when we’re willing to bend, to try a new direction, we create space for something better.
Flexibility doesn’t mean giving up your values—it means recognizing when it’s worth letting go, shifting perspective, or simply approaching something with a fresh mind.
It’s about learning to move with grace and openness, discovering that the “new way” might just be the better way.
Being stubborn felt safe. It gave me a sense of control. But it also kept me from experiencing new opportunities, relationships, and growth.
Have you ever pretended to “try” something new, just to prove it wouldn’t work? I did that too. But I’ve learned that true trying means approaching with a positive, open heart, willing to embrace whatever outcome arises.
Are you stuck in your ways of how things should be done? Why do you think you are?
What do you think will happen if things aren’t done your way?
Is this something that threatens your well-being, or just your comfort zone?
Can you think of a time when you tried something new, and the result was a positive surprise? How did that feel?
This week, I challenge you to bend—try something new, or approach something familiar in a different way.
Write them down. See how many new things you can add to your list, and then reflect on the results.
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ll try differently this week?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s inspire each other to be flexible and open to new possibilities.
And if you know someone stuck in their old ways, send this to them.
Sometimes, a nudge is all it takes to start bending in the right direction.
SLAY on.
