loneliness

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! Those mountains you are carrying, you were only supposed to climb.

New blog goes up Sunday, until then… SLAY on!

Not Alone

The Perceived Danger Of Loneliness

There’s a reason loneliness can feel like danger.

Centuries ago, being alone was a legitimate threat. If you were separated from your tribe, you were more vulnerable to predators and physical harm. That primal instinct still lives in us today—so when loneliness creeps in, it doesn’t always just feel sad. It can feel scary. Like we’re under attack. Like we’re in danger.

But the truth is, in most cases today, that danger is no longer external—it’s internal. And that’s why it can be so hard to recognize and even harder to break free from.

Loneliness Isn’t Just Isolation—It’s Fear

When I was living in the dark, I felt completely alone. And I did feel like I was in danger. The danger of being found out. The danger of being consumed by depression. The danger of not making it out alive. My thoughts became a battlefield, and my body was constantly in survival mode—tight, tense, panicked.

Some of that fear was justified. I was making choices that weren’t safe. But much of it was perceived—fed by my mindset and fueled by the lies I told myself about who I was and what I deserved.

And the lonelier I felt, the more danger I imagined. I convinced myself I was better off alone. That no one would understand. That I didn’t belong.
But that wasn’t true. That was just the fear talking.

The Way Out Is Connection

The moment things began to change was the moment I heard someone else’s story. Someone who had been where I was. Someone who understood the darkness. That tiny moment of connection cracked something open in me—and I found the courage to ask for help.

That help came in the form of community. Of people who weren’t perfect, but who were honest. Who shared their truths. Who didn’t try to fix me, but simply walked with me.

And that’s when the perceived danger began to dissolve. Because I wasn’t doing it alone anymore. I wasn’t in survival mode—I was in connection mode.
And connection, not isolation, is where healing begins.

You’re Not Alone (Even When It Feels Like You Are)

We are never as alone as we think we are. Even in our darkest moments. There is always someone out there who will understand—because they’ve been there too.

And when we share our truth, it connects us. It takes away the power of fear.
When we speak our loneliness out loud, we remind ourselves that we are human—and we give someone else permission to do the same.

You don’t have to suffer in silence. You don’t have to go it alone.
There is always a hand to reach for—and a voice waiting to say, “Me too.”

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Do you associate loneliness with danger? And what does that danger feel like?

  • What thoughts or fears come up when you’re feeling lonely?

  • Do you tend to isolate or reach out?

  • Who can you confide in—right now, today?

  • Are you filling your loneliness with distractions or connection?

  • What’s one step you can take to reach out and remind yourself you are not alone?

Connection is the antidote to fear. And vulnerability is the path to healing.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What has helped you move through loneliness into connection?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling in silence, send this to them.
Sometimes, the bravest thing we can do is remind someone they’re not alone.

Loneliness Is Curable

If someone had told me that my loneliness was curable before stepping on this path I would have laughed. I had always felt lonely, even in a big room full of people. I always felt apart from everyone else, different, and those feelings kept me from connecting with others. I always had friends, and had several long-term romantic relationships, but I never really let anyone in completely, fearing that what they would find in me they wouldn’t like, because I didn’t like myself on the inside. That feeling of loneliness was always present in my day-to-day life. What I didn’t realize is that I held the key to that loneliness, I could let people in and find a peace and love in myself to wipe out the loneliness I felt.

Just as we hold the key to most of our suffering, we hold the key to our recovery from our past. For me, I found a way to connect with a spiritual way of life, to find a belief in something greater than myself. That took some time, even though I had always believed there was something out there, I was told it was up to me to find something that I could connect to and nurture a relationship with. I set out to find something that wanted the best for me, that was there to guide me and watch out for me, and I started to talk and connect with that idea. That alone wasn’t enough, but it was a great start. As that connection grew stronger I started to feel less alone, and that along with making an effort to connect with others like myself, who were on a similar path, those feelings of loneliness started to subside. It wasn’t always easy at the start, to reach out to people I didn’t really know, but it helped to focus on our commonality and those things I knew we shared and when I was able to do that asking someone to meet for a coffee or for their phone number became less scary, and as I did that and formed new friendships and relationships my life got richer and fuller. I still maintained many of the friendships from before, but it helped to form new ones with people who understood the journey I was on.

We, many times, impose our own loneliness, we sentence ourselves to be alone, because we may not feel worthy, or may not like ourselves or convince ourselves we don’t deserve to have good people in our lives, we do, but we have to believe we do and then set out to form those friendships. And, if you live in a smaller community where it’s more difficult to find people like yourself, find them online, find groups or fandoms that you can relate to, and that have common interests, goals or ways of life that coincide with yours. They’re out there. There are so many ways to cure your loneliness, all it takes is some effort on your part, no matter where you find yourself, no matter what interests or excites you, there are people just like you who will not only accept you, but embrace you, so let them know you’re out there and invite them in. Your loneliness is within your control, take your power back and let yourself live as your true self, allowing others to celebrate who you are along with you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel lonely? When do you feel lonely? Why do you think you feel lonely? Have you always felt lonely, or was there a specific time or event that started your loneliness? Do you feel like there is something missing from your life? If so, what is it? Are you able to identify it? Do you have a spiritual belief or relationship in your life? If so what is it? When you connect with something greater than yourself, do you feel less lonely? Does connecting with it give you comfort or make you feel more confident? Do you have trouble making new friends, or seeking out new people with similar interests or a similar journey? If not, why not? What gets in your way? Find the courage, SLAYER, to reach out those like yourself if you’re feeling alone, work on engaging with those people and find a commonality with them you can connect to. You can cure your own loneliness, but it takes work, so get to work and kick loneliness to the curb!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you