god

The Boogeyman Only Lives in the Dark

Fear has a way of creeping in when the lights are out—both literally and metaphorically. When we’re uncertain, overwhelmed, or vulnerable, our minds can convince us that the shadows hold monsters. And when we avoid shining a light on those fears—when we stuff them down, pretend they don’t exist, or try to outrun them—they only grow bigger, louder, and harder to face.

The truth? Fear feeds on silence and secrecy. When we leave it unchecked, it multiplies in the darkness of our minds. But when we turn on the light—through awareness, honesty, and courage—fear begins to shrink.

So if you think there’s a boogeyman around, it’s time to stop hiding under the covers. Flip the switch. Call it out. See it for what it is.

Darkness Is the Breeding Ground for Fear

Think about the last time you were afraid of something—really afraid. Chances are, it wasn’t the thing itself that scared you most. It was not knowing.

Not knowing what someone thought of you.
Not knowing how a situation would turn out.
Not knowing if you could survive the pain you were in.

The unknown is where fear lives. And the more we let our imagination run wild in that dark space, the more terrifying the “boogeyman” becomes.

But here’s the thing: most fears, when brought into the light, lose their power. Naming your fear is the first step in shrinking it. It’s not the monster under the bed—it’s your anxiety about failing, being rejected, or not being enough. Once you see it clearly, you can deal with it.

Shine the Light of Truth

When we start to shine a light on fear, it doesn’t mean the fear disappears overnight. But it does mean we stop letting it run the show.

For me, facing my fears meant getting rigorously honest with myself. I had to admit where I was scared and why. Sometimes it was rooted in old wounds or trauma. Sometimes it was tied to lies I had told myself for years. And sometimes, it was just the unknown of stepping into a new chapter.

The more light I brought in—the more I talked about my fears, wrote about them, or even prayed about them—the less they controlled me.

Fear thrives in the dark. Truth thrives in the light.

The Boogeyman Is Rarely What You Think

Most of the time, the “boogeyman” isn’t nearly as scary as we’ve built it up to be.

Maybe the conversation you’ve been avoiding brings clarity instead of rejection.
Maybe the risk you’ve been afraid to take opens a door you never thought possible.
Maybe the pain you’re carrying becomes lighter when you finally share it.

Fear wants you to stay in the dark. But your healing requires the light.

Flip the Switch

So how do you “turn on the light” when fear is looming?

  • Name it. Write down exactly what you’re afraid of. No filters.
  • Share it. Talk to someone you trust. Speaking fear out loud weakens it.
  • Challenge it. Ask yourself: is this fear based in fact, or in old stories?
  • Take one small action. Even the smallest step forward shines light into the dark.

The boogeyman can’t survive in the light.

So next time you feel fear creeping in, don’t stay stuck in the dark. Reach for the switch. Bring it into the open. Remind yourself: you are braver than the shadows.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What fear have you been keeping in the dark?
  2. How does avoiding it give it more power?
  3. What would shining a light on it look like for you?
  4. Can you trace your fear back to old wounds or beliefs?
  5. What’s one small action you can take today to face it?

S – Stop letting fear grow in silence
L – Let the light of truth guide you
A – Acknowledge your fears instead of hiding them
Y – Yield to courage, not the shadows

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What fear did you finally bring into the light—and how did it change things for you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s hiding from their “boogeyman,” send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a light to remind us we’re not alone.

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! If you’re living in harmony with yourself, you’re living in harmony with the universe.

New blog goes up Friday, until then…SLAY on!

state of slay universe

How Do I Know I’m In The Flow?

Someone recently asked me how I know when I’m in the will of the universe or my own will. For me, I can typically tell because when I’m not trying to force my will things go smoothly, it’s like being in the express lane on the freeway.

Looking back, before stepping on this path, I only wanted things my way. Nothing went smoothly because I was trying to force things into happening the way I wanted them and when I wanted them. There was no waiting or investigating to find the right way, or the right time, I wanted what I wanted and I wanted it now! As a result I wasted a lot of time and energy on things I had no business being a part of, and would often get involved with people I shouldn’t have, or get involved with them for the wrong reasons. Nothing just flowed into the right direction because I was trying to override that direction with the direction I was trying to make happen, which led me into dishonesty and manipulation. It was all a slippery slope with me, and when I’m in a mode of trying to force my will I’ll go to almost any length to make that happen, ignoring the signs around me that I’m heading in the wrong direction.

The Universe, God, Higher Power, whatever makes sense for you, does send us guidance and signs if we ask for them, and, we are looking for them. Sometimes those signs do come like a slap in the face when we’ve been ignoring them, and there may be something that comes that is even bigger than a sign and just stops you dead in your tracks, but when we are open to working with a force that is bigger than ourselves, and look for direction, I have found it is there, and if it’s not in that moment I know that I am not supposed to do anything at that moment, to keep doing the work, keep investigating, keep asking for direction, but stay right where I am until I feel confident about the next move. It is during those times, when I am in alignment with where I am supposed to be that I feel at peace, that things do fall into place, many times, quite miraculously, and I feel grounded and centered on my path. Now that may sound like some mumbo jumbo if you don’t have a belief or understanding in something greater than yourself, but I am a firm believer in a higher power and I know, from plenty of experiences in my life, that there is something out there that watches over me, and I also know that when I connect with it, it has my back, in fact it’s even had my back when I haven’t connected with it, but it works better when I do, and I certainly feel better.

There are signs and direction everywhere if we choose to see them and take the direction. We can try to run the show and steer the ship ourselves, but we’re likely going to hit solid ground at some point steering it alone, now that’s not to say that hitting bottom isn’t a part of your journey, and, could possibly be a blessing to get you where you need to be, but why cause more chaos than you really need to, life is meant to be enjoyed, we’re not meant to suffer at your own hand. Find your flow, be open to new ideas or directions, and look for the signs, they’re there and they’re there to show us the way. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you believe that there is something greater than yourself that guides you and looks after you? If not, why not? If you do, what is your understanding or belief in what that is? How has it guided you in the past? When have you seen the guidance and chosen not to take it? What was the result? What signs have you seen in your life that there seems to be some guidance from that source? How do you connect with it? How can you connect with it more? It comes down to having faith SLAYER, faith in something you cannot see but can feel, if you consciously work on forming a relationship with it, and allow yourself to loosen the reigns and let something else show you the way, that connection, or bond, will get stronger, and that direction clearer. There is a lot out there we don’t know, so why not let yourself believe and trust that you may have more on your side than you thought?

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Alone In A Godless Room

That sums up my life before stepping on this path. Even just reading the title of this blog, I feel a pit in my stomach, just remembering how alone I felt, and that no one, or nothing was watching over me. I had put myself there, and little did I know, there was something watching over me, but because I didn’t connect with it, or anything, I felt alone, in the dark. Now God can be many different things to many people, and none of them are wrong, many may refer to the Universe, their Higher Power, Goddess, and many others, nature may be your God, and none of them are wrong, for me, I use different words, but it’s all the same thing for me, I feel like when I really need to dig in, when I’m feeling alone, or lost, or confused, I use God, it sounds official, and much bigger than me, and when I’m just cruising through my daily life I tend to use other names, but ultimately I’m connecting to the same thing, a “God” of my understanding, and, design.

My connection to my Higher Power is really important to me today, it’s like a strong friendship I’ve cultivated over the last 12 years, one where I decided who and what I was talking to, and who was talking to me. I’ve shared this before on STATE OF SLAY™, a few times, but most prevalent in the blog A Power Greater Than Myself, the night I should have died alone on the beach, and the moment, when I thought I was going to die there, and when I reached out and asked for help in the dark, I heard a voice say to me, “it’s going to be OK,” to me, that is my God, and, everything did end up being OK, even though I shouldn’t have made it off that beach. Today, I do believe there is something out there, much bigger than me, watching out for me, and when I reach out to it, listen for it, and look for the signs, my life does seem to go a lot smoother. It may not always go in the direction I’m thinking it should go, but it’s going in the direction it’s supposed to go. And in that journey I always find miraculous things I wouldn’t have found otherwise.

Today I trust that guidance, I look for it, listen for it, and understand when it comes that is then that I need to take action. Guidance is only valuable if you take the necessary action after we receive it, otherwise, it’s just us trying to run the show when we don’t have all the information.

Which brings me back to being alone in a Godless room. My life before this path was me trying to make things happen the way I wanted them to happen. To manipulate, cheat or steal to get the result I wanted. I tried to be my own God, or director, and try to force the people, places and things in my life to do what I wanted them to, which of course, I was not able to do, and, only got me more frustrated, depressed, and angry. Also, thinking I knew better kept me out of the light, it kept me in the problem, and that problem kept getting bigger as I tried harder and harder to control everything around me without sharing with anyone what was going on. That room I was sitting in got darker, and smaller, like the walls were closing in and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. But, what’s interesting is that, on the last night of living in my darkness, when I got really scared, I instinctively reach out and prayed, to what I didn’t know, because I didn’t think I was worth anything actually listening, let alone, helping me, but I still prayed, and I asked for help, and the next day I woke up and heard a voice say, “you’re done,” which to me meant, you’re done living like this, and I miraculously picked up the phone and asked a friend for help. My God, Higher Power, the Universe, whatever I choose to call it, works in my life when I work to have a relationship with it, but looking back, even when I didn’t, it still was there to watch over me.

Turn on the light, and reach out to what speaks to you, what your heart connects with, and what you believe walks with you on your path. If you don’t know, today is a great day to find out.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a belief or understanding in something greater than yourself? If so, what is it? How did you come to believe, or discover it? If you don’t, why don’t you? Is there something holding you back? Can you think of times in your life when you feel you were saved from something, or a situation you had gotten yourself in? Write down those times. I guarantee you SLAYER, you have them, we all do, whether a near miss on the road, not getting hurt or injured when you should have been, or perhaps you may have gotten out of a situation you shouldn’t’ have. There is a bigger force at work around us, much bigger than ourselves, maybe it’s time to tap into it, and maybe make it your own, something you feel comfortable with so you are not sitting alone in a Godless room. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

A Great Day Of Gratitude

Monday will mark the 8th Anniversary of the night I almost died, and by all accounts, should have died. It is a day, for many years, that left me feeling lost, unsure, and sad. It took me a while to process the event, something I still don’t know what to call, a slip, a fall, an accident, I still don’t really know, but what I do know is that against all odds I did survive and I know I didn’t do it alone.

If you’re not familiar with my night on the beach my blog, A Power Greater Than Myself, can be found by clicking this link, A Power Great Than Myself, I talked about that night, the little bit of memory I do have from it and how I was saved by an unknown man who never left his name. I believe he was an angel, in every sense of the word, he most likely saved my life, a life that should have already been taken by a severe concussion, the ocean, and hypothermia. I still haven’t been back to that beach in Malibu, that place where I surrendered to a power greater than myself when I could no longer help myself, no longer walk, no longer fight what was, I was hooped, I thought I was going to die on that beach. And as angry as I was to be there, in the dark, shaking uncontrollably with no way of helping myself, or getting help, as angry as I was with God for having me go through all that I had been through, for seeing me through fighting my way to a better place, and for seemingly letting me die alone in the dark cold night, I realized I had gotten myself there, I had stayed out too long, too late, and I had decided to leave my phone in the car to cut myself off from the world to find some uninterrupted peace. Well, I had done just that, and now that I needed help and had nowhere to turn, I had no one to turn to but the God of my understanding to ask for help. Damn I was angry. But God isn’t there to do it for me, I have the power of choice, and my choices got me in that place, not God. It was a sense of entitlement that had gotten me angry, that sense that I had turned my life around so now I should be protected from bad things, from harm, but I hadn’t protected myself that day, and, just because we are living as our true selves and living in the light that doesn’t mean we are never touched by the darkness. I don’t think I articulated quite that well that night shivering in the night, but I did come to the realization that I had gotten myself there and all I could do was surrender. And surrender I did. I looked up at the night sky, the stars, and surrendered to whatever was next, and when I did that, I felt a wave of calm come over me. That was the last memory I have on that beach. My next memory was waking up the next day in emergency room in Santa Monica.

A lot has happened since that night, and as I had mentioned, it took me a while to process what had happened and to come to terms with why I survived, why I was saved. I’ve shared this before, I feel I am here to be of service, to give back, to share my light with those who may be sitting in the dark, and I think we all have that gift to give. For me it took something almost catastrophic to realize that lesson, with me it often does, but what it taught me is, even though we do have the ability to make our own choices and take our own action, there is something out there watching over us, protecting us when we get ourselves way off track, even when it doesn’t seem like there is, if you look back there were signs, mine were more than signs, I heard a voice that night, it told me everything was going to be OK, and it was, and that voice is a reminder on days that might go dark that there is a light waiting for me to reach for the switch, because when I surrendered and stopped fighting, an angel appeared and saved my life.

If you are struggling or fighting today I encourage you to surrender, I don’t mean give up, I mean stop fighting because you feel like you should have been given better, stop fighting yourself, stop fighting for things to only looking a certain way and embrace what is, and what can be. It is only then that we can rise above the darkness, that we can live in the light, and, we can spread our wings and fly.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you fight what you know you should do because you want things to be or look a certain way? What is the result of that? Do you think it helps? How does it hurt you? Are you open to new things? Do you see that your best thinking, or your way of doing things, may have brought you to the place where you are not happy and quite possibly stuck spinning your wheels? How can you change that? If you are unsure of how to take positive steps in your life, who or what can you go to ask for guidance? If no one comes to mind, where can you look? The answers are out there SLAYER when we look, when we have an open mind and an open heart, the answers, and help, is all around us. Surrender to the light, to the good, to the unknown of doing things differently, you just may have more help than you ever could have imagined. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you