belief

Slay Say

Good morning SLAYER! There is a place inside you where anything is possible.

SLAY on!

State Of Slay Belief and Action

Loneliness Is Curable

If someone had told me that my loneliness was curable before stepping on this path I would have laughed. I had always felt lonely, even in a big room full of people. I always felt apart from everyone else, different, and those feelings kept me from connecting with others. I always had friends, and had several long-term romantic relationships, but I never really let anyone in completely, fearing that what they would find in me they wouldn’t like, because I didn’t like myself on the inside. That feeling of loneliness was always present in my day-to-day life. What I didn’t realize is that I held the key to that loneliness, I could let people in and find a peace and love in myself to wipe out the loneliness I felt.

Just as we hold the key to most of our suffering, we hold the key to our recovery from our past. For me, I found a way to connect with a spiritual way of life, to find a belief in something greater than myself. That took some time, even though I had always believed there was something out there, I was told it was up to me to find something that I could connect to and nurture a relationship with. I set out to find something that wanted the best for me, that was there to guide me and watch out for me, and I started to talk and connect with that idea. That alone wasn’t enough, but it was a great start. As that connection grew stronger I started to feel less alone, and that along with making an effort to connect with others like myself, who were on a similar path, those feelings of loneliness started to subside. It wasn’t always easy at the start, to reach out to people I didn’t really know, but it helped to focus on our commonality and those things I knew we shared and when I was able to do that asking someone to meet for a coffee or for their phone number became less scary, and as I did that and formed new friendships and relationships my life got richer and fuller. I still maintained many of the friendships from before, but it helped to form new ones with people who understood the journey I was on.

We, many times, impose our own loneliness, we sentence ourselves to be alone, because we may not feel worthy, or may not like ourselves or convince ourselves we don’t deserve to have good people in our lives, we do, but we have to believe we do and then set out to form those friendships. And, if you live in a smaller community where it’s more difficult to find people like yourself, find them online, find groups or fandoms that you can relate to, and that have common interests, goals or ways of life that coincide with yours. They’re out there. There are so many ways to cure your loneliness, all it takes is some effort on your part, no matter where you find yourself, no matter what interests or excites you, there are people just like you who will not only accept you, but embrace you, so let them know you’re out there and invite them in. Your loneliness is within your control, take your power back and let yourself live as your true self, allowing others to celebrate who you are along with you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel lonely? When do you feel lonely? Why do you think you feel lonely? Have you always felt lonely, or was there a specific time or event that started your loneliness? Do you feel like there is something missing from your life? If so, what is it? Are you able to identify it? Do you have a spiritual belief or relationship in your life? If so what is it? When you connect with something greater than yourself, do you feel less lonely? Does connecting with it give you comfort or make you feel more confident? Do you have trouble making new friends, or seeking out new people with similar interests or a similar journey? If not, why not? What gets in your way? Find the courage, SLAYER, to reach out those like yourself if you’re feeling alone, work on engaging with those people and find a commonality with them you can connect to. You can cure your own loneliness, but it takes work, so get to work and kick loneliness to the curb!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Alone In A Godless Room

That sums up my life before stepping on this path. Even just reading the title of this blog, I feel a pit in my stomach, just remembering how alone I felt, and that no one, or nothing was watching over me. I had put myself there, and little did I know, there was something watching over me, but because I didn’t connect with it, or anything, I felt alone, in the dark. Now God can be many different things to many people, and none of them are wrong, many may refer to the Universe, their Higher Power, Goddess, and many others, nature may be your God, and none of them are wrong, for me, I use different words, but it’s all the same thing for me, I feel like when I really need to dig in, when I’m feeling alone, or lost, or confused, I use God, it sounds official, and much bigger than me, and when I’m just cruising through my daily life I tend to use other names, but ultimately I’m connecting to the same thing, a “God” of my understanding, and, design.

My connection to my Higher Power is really important to me today, it’s like a strong friendship I’ve cultivated over the last 12 years, one where I decided who and what I was talking to, and who was talking to me. I’ve shared this before on STATE OF SLAY™, a few times, but most prevalent in the blog A Power Greater Than Myself, the night I should have died alone on the beach, and the moment, when I thought I was going to die there, and when I reached out and asked for help in the dark, I heard a voice say to me, “it’s going to be OK,” to me, that is my God, and, everything did end up being OK, even though I shouldn’t have made it off that beach. Today, I do believe there is something out there, much bigger than me, watching out for me, and when I reach out to it, listen for it, and look for the signs, my life does seem to go a lot smoother. It may not always go in the direction I’m thinking it should go, but it’s going in the direction it’s supposed to go. And in that journey I always find miraculous things I wouldn’t have found otherwise.

Today I trust that guidance, I look for it, listen for it, and understand when it comes that is then that I need to take action. Guidance is only valuable if you take the necessary action after we receive it, otherwise, it’s just us trying to run the show when we don’t have all the information.

Which brings me back to being alone in a Godless room. My life before this path was me trying to make things happen the way I wanted them to happen. To manipulate, cheat or steal to get the result I wanted. I tried to be my own God, or director, and try to force the people, places and things in my life to do what I wanted them to, which of course, I was not able to do, and, only got me more frustrated, depressed, and angry. Also, thinking I knew better kept me out of the light, it kept me in the problem, and that problem kept getting bigger as I tried harder and harder to control everything around me without sharing with anyone what was going on. That room I was sitting in got darker, and smaller, like the walls were closing in and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. But, what’s interesting is that, on the last night of living in my darkness, when I got really scared, I instinctively reach out and prayed, to what I didn’t know, because I didn’t think I was worth anything actually listening, let alone, helping me, but I still prayed, and I asked for help, and the next day I woke up and heard a voice say, “you’re done,” which to me meant, you’re done living like this, and I miraculously picked up the phone and asked a friend for help. My God, Higher Power, the Universe, whatever I choose to call it, works in my life when I work to have a relationship with it, but looking back, even when I didn’t, it still was there to watch over me.

Turn on the light, and reach out to what speaks to you, what your heart connects with, and what you believe walks with you on your path. If you don’t know, today is a great day to find out.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you have a belief or understanding in something greater than yourself? If so, what is it? How did you come to believe, or discover it? If you don’t, why don’t you? Is there something holding you back? Can you think of times in your life when you feel you were saved from something, or a situation you had gotten yourself in? Write down those times. I guarantee you SLAYER, you have them, we all do, whether a near miss on the road, not getting hurt or injured when you should have been, or perhaps you may have gotten out of a situation you shouldn’t’ have. There is a bigger force at work around us, much bigger than ourselves, maybe it’s time to tap into it, and maybe make it your own, something you feel comfortable with so you are not sitting alone in a Godless room. SLAY on.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you