We’ve all done it. Scrolling through social media, sitting in the park, walking through a crowd—comparing our inner pain to someone else’s seemingly perfect life. I used to do it constantly. I’d look at all the smiling, polished people around me and think, “How did I get it so wrong?”
From the outside, it looked like everyone else had it all together. Meanwhile, my insides felt like chaos. Shame, darkness, self-doubt—I was living with all of it, convinced I was the only one who felt so broken. I judged myself harshly because I didn’t understand that most people are carrying something they’re not showing the world.
What I’ve come to realize is this: everyone has their struggles. Everyone has pain they don’t post about. And no one—no one—gets a free pass through life.
The Trap of Comparison
When I was in the dark, I couldn’t see past the highlight reels. I didn’t just compare—I internalized those comparisons. I thought of myself as garbage, unworthy, undeserving. And yet, I never considered that others might be hiding their struggles just as well as I was.
I was good at masking my pain. I could look “put together” even when I was falling apart inside. So why did I believe I was the only one pretending? That illusion kept me isolated, and the more I fed it, the deeper I sank.
What saved me was connection. Sharing my truth. Hearing someone else say, “Me too.” That’s when the healing started. That’s when I stopped envying the outside and started healing the inside.
The Power of Sharing
Opening up helped me build real relationships. It gave me community. And it helped me see that I wasn’t alone in the fight. When I started connecting with people who were also doing the inner work—people who had also known darkness and were walking toward the light—I finally saw how similar we all are beneath the surface.
It’s easy to get tricked by the filters, the curated feeds, the constant performance of happiness. But behind those shiny moments are real people with real struggles—just like you.
Let Your Inside Shine
Instead of comparing your worst days to someone’s best moments, take a moment to check in with yourself. Find the light that is there. Talk to someone you trust. Focus on what’s real instead of what’s being performed. And most importantly, be kind to yourself.
We’re all on a journey. Yours might not look like theirs—and that’s okay. In fact, that’s beautiful.
Live in your truth. Let your inside match your outside. And when you do, you won’t need a filter to shine.
SLAY on.
SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise
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Do you compare your insides to others’ outsides?
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What do you think they have that you don’t?
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How can you bring light into your own life—starting today?
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What’s something real you can share with someone else this week?
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SLAYER, write down 10 things about yourself that money can’t buy—and be grateful for them.
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’ve learned by letting go of comparison and embracing your own journey?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s stuck in the comparison trap, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that we’re not alone.
