There was a time in my life when I second-guessed myself. I would speak up when something didn’t feel good, and then spiral afterward—replaying the moment in my head, wondering if I was overreacting, if I made things awkward, if I should have just stayed quiet.
But here’s the truth I wish I had known sooner:
You did nothing wrong by asking to be treated right.
There is nothing wrong with saying “that hurt my feelings” or “I don’t like how that made me feel.” There is nothing wrong with saying “I deserve better than this.” Because you do. You always have.
What is wrong is how often we’re taught to feel guilty for setting a boundary. We’re told we’re too sensitive, too difficult, too much. So we shrink. We tolerate. We accept less. And with each time we swallow our truth, we chip away at the trust we have with ourselves.
Over time, we begin to question whether we even deserve what we’re asking for. We start to silence ourselves before anyone else even has the chance to.
But the voice inside you that whispers, “this doesn’t feel right”—that voice is sacred. And it deserves to be heard.
We’re often praised for how much we can endure, how quiet we can stay, how agreeable we can be. But healing isn’t about being palatable. It’s about being real.
It’s about letting go of the version of you that never got to speak up, and becoming the version who knows how to say, “I’m not okay with this.”
Because you matter. What you feel matters. What you need matters.
It’s Not Asking for Too Much
It’s not just about the person on the other end of the conversation. It’s about you. Your self-worth. Your healing. Your nervous system. The way you allow yourself to take up space and take care of yourself.
Honoring how you feel isn’t selfish—it’s self-respect.
Asking to be treated with kindness, consistency, and care is not asking for too much. It’s asking for the bare minimum. And if someone can’t meet you there, that’s not your failure. That’s their limitation.
You don’t have to convince people to do the right thing. You just have to be willing to do the right thing for yourself.
Letting people know where your lines are isn’t pushing them away. It’s giving them a clear map of how to love you.
And if they walk away? Let them. Anyone who leaves because you asked for respect was never offering it to begin with.
Protecting your peace is not dramatic. It’s necessary. Saying “no more” is not cruelty. It’s clarity. And standing up for yourself is not a betrayal of others—it’s a commitment to yourself.
When you start honoring what you know to be true, you stop seeking validation from people who never had the capacity to see you clearly.
Trust What You Know
So if you’ve ever walked away from a conversation, a relationship, or a space because your boundaries weren’t honored—let me remind you:
You did not fail.
You did not overreact.
You did not do anything wrong.
You simply chose yourself.
And that is something to be proud of.
You’re not hard to love—just hard to manipulate. And anyone who’s confused by that difference was never meant to hold your heart.
Let your purpose lead. It knows the way.
SLAY Reflection
- Have you ever felt guilty for speaking up about how you were treated?
- Where in your life are you still tolerating what doesn’t feel good?
- What would change if you fully trusted your feelings and instincts?
- Who in your life consistently respects your boundaries?
- How might your life shift if you believed you weren’t “too much” for simply asking for respect?
S – Speak your truth without apology
L – Let your boundaries be your guide
A – Ask for what honors your worth
Y – Yield to self-respect over people-pleasing
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s something you’ve asked for that made you feel proud for standing up for yourself?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s second-guessing themselves for speaking up, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
