mental health journey

Reality Has Two Sides: The Grim and The Pleasant

Reality isn’t just one thing.
It’s not all light. It’s not all dark.
It lives in the in-between—where truth, growth, and resilience are found.

Sometimes, especially when the world feels heavy, we lean into one side more than the other.
We might cling to the positive and avoid anything unpleasant.
Or we might become so focused on the negative that we lose sight of anything good at all.

But true clarity comes from being able to hold both sides—
To acknowledge what’s difficult while still seeking what’s beautiful.

When Reality Felt Like a Trap

When I was deep in my illness, the word “reality” felt like a punishment.
I wanted to escape it as much as possible.
So I did—by distraction, by denial, by diving into anything that gave me a quick fix of false peace.

Substances, shopping, friendships, exercise—whatever would pull me away from the darkness I was living in.
But the darkness always found its way back in.
Because I wasn’t looking at life clearly.
I was stuck in a one-lens view of the world—and that view was grim.

Even when something good happened, I didn’t trust it.
I expected it to be taken away.
And in that fear, I would sabotage the very light I craved.

I thought life was cruel.
But in truth, I was stuck in a loop of my own perspective.

The Shift Begins with Perspective

When I made the commitment to seek help, one of the biggest lessons I had to learn was this:

Life is both beautiful and brutal.
It contains joy and pain.
Peace and discomfort.
Light and shadow.

If I wanted to heal, I couldn’t keep turning away from the parts I didn’t want to see.
I had to look at life for what it was—and stop trying to control it through avoidance or fantasy.

One of my mentors compared life to the ocean—always ebbing and flowing.
Sometimes calm, sometimes crashing, but never still.
Even the moments that feel still are part of the movement.

That metaphor saved me.
Because it reminded me that hard times do pass.
And the good times don’t need to be clung to—they’re part of a rhythm.

I didn’t need to hide from reality.
I needed to learn how to ride the waves.

Balance is Where Power Lives

It’s easy to fall into extremes.
To live in denial and pretend everything is fine.
Or to spiral into the darkness and believe everything is falling apart.

But when we live in one extreme, we lose our power.
We stop making intentional choices.
We stop growing.

Reality, in its most honest form, gives us space to do something.
To help others.
To show up for ourselves.
To feel our feelings, without letting them control us.
To face what’s hard and still reach for what’s good.

It’s not about pretending everything is fine.
And it’s not about assuming it never will be.

It’s about finding the balance between the grim and the pleasant—
and choosing to live with eyes open and a heart that stays willing.

SLAY Reflection: How Do You See the World?

  1. Do you tend to view life through only one lens—either the positive or the negative?
    Which one do you default to?
  2. How has that perspective affected your emotional or spiritual well-being?
    What have you gained—or lost—by living that way?
  3. What makes it uncomfortable to see both sides of reality?
    Where do you feel resistance?
  4. What would it look like to live in the in-between more often?
    How could that help you make more grounded decisions?
  5. How can you honor both your challenges and your joy this week?
    What small shift could move you toward balance?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ve learned to live in the balance between the difficult and the beautiful—and how has it changed your relationship with reality?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to stay centered in uncertain times, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

No One Ever Injured Their Eyesight Looking At The Brightside

There is always a bright side. Sometimes, it may feel impossible to find—but it’s there if we look for it. Often, we don’t see it until later, when hindsight reveals that not getting what we thought we wanted brought something even better.

But here’s the thing: when we actively choose to seek out the good, the positive, the light—it trains our minds to keep looking. And eventually, it becomes second nature.

We are bombarded by fear and negativity every day. So why not choose the opposite? Why not be intentional about focusing on what’s working, what’s good, and what’s worth celebrating?

How I Found the Bright Side

Before I began walking this path, I lived in a negative world—one fueled by fear, shame, and pain.

The light didn’t last long in those days. I had fleeting moments of brightness, but the clouds of my own mind would roll in and dim it. I always defaulted to the worst-case scenario, and even when something good happened, I’d immediately brace for when it would be taken away.

My hope lived in superficial things—external markers I clung to like a lifeline. If something bright appeared, it was often a distraction rather than a shift. And because it wasn’t rooted in anything lasting, it never stuck around.

Recovery changed that. It taught me to start with gratitude. To look for moments of light. And when I couldn’t feel it? To write it down anyway. Even on my darkest days, I could find one thing. A kind word. A warm cup of coffee. A song I loved. Those small sparks reminded me that light is always there—we just have to invite it in.

Train Your Eyes to See the Light

Every day, we’re given a choice: focus on the fear or look for the light.

And as someone who has lived in both places, I can tell you—choosing the light is where everything changes.

It’s not about pretending things are perfect. It’s about deciding not to let the darkness win. It’s choosing to see that yes, things may be hard—but they’re not only hard.

The more we practice gratitude and look for the good, the more it shows up. That’s not magic—that’s mindset. And it’s powerful.

Be someone who looks for the bright side. And even better? Be someone who becomes the bright side for someone else.

Our light shines the brightest when we share it.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Choosing to See?

  • Do you tend to focus on the negative or look for the light? What habits shape that tendency?
  • Was there a time in your life when you struggled to find anything good? How did that affect your day-to-day experience?
  • What small moments of light have shown up for you recently? Did you notice them?
  • Has something you once saw as a disappointment turned out to be a blessing?
  • What could shift in your life if you committed to seeing the bright side—just once a day?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’re choosing the bright side today—even when it would be easier to stay in the dark?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs a little light right now, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that it’s still there—waiting to be seen.

Your Mind Replays What Your Heart Cannot Delete

We’ve all been there—tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep, replaying a conversation or event from the past. Wishing we had responded differently. Wondering why it still hurts. Telling ourselves to let it go—but we can’t.

Our mind replays what our heart hasn’t yet released.

It’s like our brain is trying to rewrite the story to heal us, but instead, the loop only deepens the ache. Until we learn to extract the lesson, offer ourselves grace, and let go of what we can’t change, we keep ourselves stuck in the pain of yesterday.

Before the Release: The Cycle of Replay

Before walking this path, I never let anything go.

I was a walking vessel of resentment. Conversations looped in my head for days, weeks—sometimes years. I’d even replay them out loud, alone in my room, beating myself up for not saying the “right” thing or for freezing in the moment.

The weight of those replays followed me into new relationships and opportunities like a ball and chain. Every fresh connection felt like a repeat of the old one. I filtered every interaction through the pain and fear I hadn’t dealt with. Eventually, I started to isolate—bitterly and often.

And yes, my heart hurt. A lot. But what I didn’t realize was that I was choosing to stay in that hurt every time I pressed play again.

Rewriting the Loop

It wasn’t until I began prioritizing my peace—my healing—that I realized how much control I had.

Letting go didn’t mean letting someone else off the hook. It meant letting me off the hook. No longer dragging around conversations that had already ended or wounds that no longer served me.

I began to ask: What can I take from this? What’s mine to own? And what do I need to release?

Sometimes, yes, the harm done wasn’t my fault. But the replay? That was on me.

By valuing my peace over my pain, I slowly turned the volume down on the noise—and finally found some quiet.

You Can Mute the Past

We may not be able to delete every painful moment from our hearts—but we can learn to mute the noise. To press stop on the loop. To extract the wisdom and throw out the rest.

Because the longer we replay what hurt us, the longer we stay hurt.

Let it teach you. Then let it go.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Are You Replaying or Releasing?

  • Do you find yourself mentally revisiting the same events or conversations? Why?
  • How does that impact your mood, energy, and relationships?
  • What would change if you gave yourself permission to let it go?
  • What can you learn from that moment instead of reliving it?
  • How might your life shift if you muted the loop—and chose peace instead?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one loop you’re ready to stop replaying—and what’s one way you’ll start letting it go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in replay mode, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a new way to rewrite the story.

Living In Limbo

Before I began walking this path, I knew limbo well.

When I was living in my illness, I felt stuck. Paralyzed. Like life was moving forward around me while I stayed frozen in place. I wanted to believe I had no control, but the truth was—I was holding the key to my own cell.

I wasn’t taking action. I wasn’t doing the work. And when nothing changes, nothing changes.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point—and instead of breaking down, I reached out. I asked for help. I found support. I took one step, then another. Slowly, my life started to inch forward. Hope returned. Light returned. And I started to feel alive again.

Navigating the Now

I think of that time a lot lately.

Because while the world may feel paused again, I know I don’t have to be. I focus on what I can do each day to move things forward—mentally, emotionally, creatively, and spiritually. I pour energy into meaningful connections, creative projects, and quiet rituals that keep me grounded. I say yes to what feels good and nourishing, even if it’s just a cozy moment in pajamas with a good book.

Limbo doesn’t have to mean lifeless. We get to choose how we respond—and where we put our energy.

Yes, some days feel heavier than others. And yes, I still feel the ache of what’s been lost or put on hold. But I’ve learned that in this stillness, we also have an opportunity. To pause. To reflect. To renew. And to rise.

Limbo Isn’t the End

This chapter may feel uncertain, but it isn’t forever.

We can move forward—internally, emotionally, spiritually—even when the outside world feels stalled. Our gifts, our growth, our goals—they’re still here. They’re still possible.

And when the world begins to move again, we’ll be ready. Because we didn’t just wait—we used the pause to prepare.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: What’s Your Relationship with Limbo?

  • Do you feel like your life is in limbo right now? How does that affect your daily mindset?
  • What small actions can help shift you out of a holding pattern?
  • Have you found new ways to connect, create, or rest during this time?
  • What unexpected lessons or strengths have emerged in this space between?
  • How can you show up for yourself today—even from a place of pause?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
How are you moving forward—even in the waiting?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck in the pause, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder that we’re not standing still alone.

Someone Is Praying for What You Have Right Now

It’s easy to forget how far we’ve come.

On the hard days—when we feel lost, stuck, or like we’re not where we think we should be—it can be hard to see our own progress. We lose sight of the blessings. We downplay our growth. We focus on what’s missing instead of what’s already here.

But the truth is, someone out there is praying for what you have right now.

Even if it feels small to you. Even if you’re struggling. Even if today doesn’t feel like a victory.
To someone else, your “hard day” might look like a dream come true.

Gratitude Lives in Perspective

Not long ago, I was sitting with a group of women I see regularly. One of them was sharing how far she’s come over the last three years, and she said something that stopped me in my tracks:

“On the days I feel low, I remind myself—there’s someone out there praying for what I have right now.”

That. That’s the perspective shift.

Even when we don’t feel our best. Even when things aren’t perfect. Even when we feel behind or broken or unsure—there’s someone out there who would give anything to be where we are.

Your Journey Is Worth Honoring

Everyone’s path is different. No two stories are the same. But most of us tend to minimize our own milestones, especially on the darker days. We often see our blessings last, long after others have already noticed the light within us.

But that doesn’t mean they’re not there.
You’ve come a long way—even if today doesn’t feel like it.

There were times in my life when I would’ve given anything to have the life I have now… even on my hardest day. I know what it’s like to feel like every day is a worst day. But I also know what it’s like to come through the other side—and forget, for a moment, just how far I’ve traveled.

That’s why I share my story. That’s why I speak about mental health and addiction. Because it reminds me—and others—that our stories matter. That our journeys aren’t over. And that someone out there might be waiting to hear exactly what we’ve been through so they can find their way forward.

Your Bad Day Might Be Someone Else’s Breakthrough

We’re all allowed to have our feelings. We’re allowed to be frustrated, tired, or sad. But we can also hold those feelings alongside a deep awareness of how much good exists around us.

There are people out there who would give anything for what we might take for granted. And that’s not about guilt—it’s about gratitude.

Gratitude grounds us.
It reminds us that we’ve already come through so much.
It keeps us humble.
And it helps us serve others from a place of truth, not perfection.

So even on the days when it’s hard to see the light—know that you are the light. And someone is praying for the glow you don’t even realize you have.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Are you focusing more on what you lack—or what you’ve already overcome?

  • Do you recognize the good in your life, or does your mind lean toward the negative?

  • What blessings do you have now that you once prayed for?

  • When was the last time you acknowledged how far you’ve come?

  • What steps have you taken to be where you are today?

  • How can you use gratitude to fuel your growth?

Your path has power. And your progress is worth celebrating—even on the hard days.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s something you have today that you once dreamed of having?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s feeling stuck, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a reminder of how far we’ve already come.

Feelings Can’t Kill You, But Avoiding Them Can

We can’t outrun our feelings forever. We try. We bury them, numb them, distract ourselves from them. But in the end, what we avoid will eventually rise. And for some of us, like it was for me, it can become a matter of life and death. This is a story about learning to feel again—and finding freedom on the other side.

The Fear of Feeling

Before I started walking the path of recovery, I did everything I could to not feel. I didn’t care if the feeling was good or bad—I just didn’t want it. I got so good at pretending everything was fine that I started to believe it myself, until all that was left was the heaviness I’d shoved deep down. The more I numbed, the more detached I became—from others, from joy, from myself.

I turned to anything I could: food, shopping, relationships, alcohol, travel. And it worked, temporarily. But the feelings always bubbled back up. The older I got, the harder it became to keep them down. I was a pressure cooker on the brink of exploding. And when I couldn’t keep the lid on anymore, it nearly destroyed me.

What I Didn’t Know Then

I thought the only way to escape the pain was to end the struggle altogether. I believed no one would understand, that I was alone in what I was feeling. But that wasn’t true. I was just hiding so well that no one had the chance to see me. Luckily, someone did. Someone who had been where I was bravely shared their story with me—and gave me just enough hope to reach out.

It didn’t happen overnight. It took time, more suffering, and finally a breaking point. But I reached out. And that changed everything.

The Tsunami of Emotion

When I began my recovery, I was told I’d have to learn to feel again—and that it would be OK. That idea terrified me. I hadn’t felt my feelings since I was a kid, and those childhood wounds were exactly what I’d been running from. But I couldn’t keep running anymore.

And when I stopped, it hit like a tsunami. Decades of anger, shame, fear, resentment, grief, and heartbreak came crashing in. There were days I could barely get out of bed. Days I clung to my mattress or curled in the bathtub, afraid I’d drown in it all. But you know what? I didn’t drown. I survived. And each time I allowed myself to feel, the intensity lessened. With the support of others, therapy, and time—I began to heal.

Feeling Doesn’t Mean Failing

What I’ve learned is that feelings are just information. They’re not good or bad—they just are. They tell us what we care about, what hurts, what needs our attention. Feeling them doesn’t make us weak. Avoiding them is what breaks us down.

It took time, but I began to see that not only was it safe to feel my feelings—it was necessary. And it was also OK to feel good. That was a big one. After so much pain, it took work to believe I deserved to feel joy. But I did. And so do you.

Choose to Feel

Today, I still check in with myself often. Some feelings are harder than others. Some still scare me. But I know I can face them now. And I know I don’t have to face them alone.

Your feelings can’t kill you—but avoiding them can. They are part of your story, and they deserve to be heard. You deserve to feel, to process, to heal. Take your time. Ask for help. Let the emotions teach you something. Let them show you who you are.

Because when you stop running, that’s when the real journey begins.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you avoid certain feelings? What are they?
  2. How do you typically numb or distract yourself when emotions get hard?
  3. What’s one feeling you’re afraid to face—and why?
  4. Who in your life could support you in feeling safely?
  5. What might change if you let yourself fully feel, without judgment?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Stop numbing and start noticing.
  • Let your emotions rise without shame.
  • Ask for support when you need it.
  • You are allowed to feel—and to heal.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one feeling you’ve been avoiding—and what’s one small way you could start feeling it today?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.