kindness matters

Your Energy Writes the Invitation

Energy isn’t invisible—it’s contagious. The way we move through the world speaks volumes, long before we say a word. That’s why it’s so important to be mindful of the energy we give off. Because whether we mean to or not, we’re always sending out an invitation—and what we invite will show up.

The Energy Exchange is Always On

You don’t have to be in someone’s presence for long to feel their energy. Some people lift a room. Others bring it down. We’ve all felt it. And whether we like it or not, we’re putting out our own energy, too.

If I’m being real, there were times in my life when I walked around spewing frustration, negativity, or fear—and then wondered why the same kept showing up in return. The truth? The energy I put out was the energy I got back. It wasn’t personal. It was physics.

What You Put Out, You Welcome In

I had to learn the hard way that if I didn’t want chaos, I couldn’t keep putting out anxious, defensive energy. If I didn’t want drama, I had to stop contributing to it. The way I spoke to myself, the way I reacted to others, the thoughts I repeated silently—all of it was casting energetic invitations out into the world.

And the guests always showed up.

It took time and effort to shift the energy I was putting out. But once I started leading with calm, openness, kindness—even when I didn’t fully feel it yet—everything around me began to change.

You Don’t Have to Be Perfect, Just Present

Let’s be clear: we all have hard days. You’re not expected to radiate sunshine 24/7. But awareness is key. Ask yourself:

  • Is this the kind of energy I would want to receive?
  • Would I want someone to speak to me the way I’m speaking to them?
  • Am I leading with intention or just reacting?

Your energy doesn’t have to be perfect—but it should be honest, compassionate, and intentional.

A New Kind of Invitation

Today, I try to think of my energy as a handwritten note I send out to the universe. What does it say? Is it welcoming, kind, curious? Or is it guarded, judgmental, defensive? Whatever I send, I know it’s going to bring something back to me.

So I try to send what I’d want to receive: peace, patience, gratitude, joy. And on the days I can’t muster those feelings genuinely? I pause. I breathe. I reflect. Because I’d rather send nothing at all than send something I’ll regret.

You’re always casting invitations. Make them count.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What kind of energy are you putting into your relationships, conversations, or even your self-talk?
  2. Have you ever noticed the same energy you give off coming back to you?
  3. What would shift if you led with more kindness or curiosity?
  4. Are there moments in your day where you could pause before reacting?
  5. What kind of invitation do you want your energy to send today?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Slow down before you react.
  • Lead with intention, not impulse.
  • Ask yourself what energy you’re inviting.
  • You have the power to shift the energy in any room.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one shift you can make today in the energy you’re putting out into the world?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in a negative loop, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Carrying A Message Of Hope

It wasn’t a dramatic moment. There were no grand speeches or earth-shattering revelations. Just a quiet, honest story from someone who had been through it, too. A simple retelling of a journey—his lowest lows and the moment he decided to ask for help.

That story gave me the courage to reach out. It was the first spark of hope that told me maybe I didn’t have to stay where I was. Maybe change was possible. Maybe I could begin again.

That is the power of carrying a message of hope. And it’s why I do what I do now.

We All Need a Spark

Hope doesn’t always come with fanfare. Often, it shows up in the form of a shared experience. In someone else’s voice. In a message that says, “You are not alone. I’ve been there, too.”

Especially in challenging times—when life feels uncertain or heavy—those stories matter more than ever. We may feel isolated, ashamed, or like our pain is too much of a burden to place on anyone else. But when someone dares to tell their truth, they give permission for others to speak theirs.

And sometimes, that’s all it takes to change a life.

We weren’t meant to do this alone. I know I couldn’t have walked this path without the people who were willing to share their light when mine had gone dim. Whether it was a friend, a professional, or someone who simply saw me and cared enough to reach out—each one helped carry me forward. Now I do the same.

Your Story Has Power

We often think our story isn’t worth sharing. That it’s too messy, too painful, or not inspirational enough. But that’s not true.

Your story—exactly as it is—might be the one someone else needs to hear. It might be the bridge that helps them cross from fear to courage, from shame to honesty, from isolation to connection. You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be real.

Kindness counts. Connection heals. And hope spreads when we pass it on.

Simple Acts, Big Impact

During difficult seasons, I’ve learned to slow down, keep things simple, and focus on the people, practices, and projects that bring me joy. That is what fuels me.

Hope isn’t loud. Sometimes it’s a quiet hello. A knowing glance. A kind message. A reminder that someone cares.

Today, offer your story. Offer your presence. Offer your hope. You never know who needs it—including you.

SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection: Share the Light

  • Have you ever received hope from someone else’s story? What impact did it have on you?
  • Do you find it easy or difficult to share your truth with others? Why?
  • Is there someone in your life who could benefit from your experience?
  • What stops you from reaching out—and what could help you move through that fear?
  • How can you carry a message of hope in your own way, today?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
Who carried a message of hope to you—and how are you carrying it forward?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who could use a little light, send this to them.
Sometimes, hope is hiding in someone else’s words.

Words Can Hurt And Words Can Heal

Words can build bridges.
Words can burn them down.

They can make someone feel seen, valued, loved—or they can tear open wounds that never fully heal. The truth is, words are some of the most powerful tools we have. And yet, many of us throw them around carelessly, forgetting that once spoken, they can’t be taken back.

We’re living in a world that feels more divided and reactive than ever. Which is why this matters so much: the way we speak—to others and to ourselves—matters. It always has. And it always will.

The Language of My Past

Before I began walking this path, I used words as weapons.
I used them to hurt, to manipulate, to control the narrative.

Even more painfully, I used them on myself. Quietly. Cruelly. I would tell myself I wasn’t good enough, that I didn’t deserve love, that I was destined to fail. And those words? They stuck. They festered. They kept me small.

I remember being told early in my recovery that I had a barbed tongue. At the time, I almost wore it like a badge of honor—proof I could defend myself in any verbal battle. But really, I was just scared. I was always in fear. And fear made me lash out. It made me forget that love—real love—starts with what we say when no one else is listening.

The Way You Speak to Yourself Shapes Everything

If you wouldn’t say it to someone you love, why say it to yourself?

That was the question that changed everything for me. Because the truth is, we’re always listening to our own inner dialogue. And when we speak harshly to ourselves, our body, heart, and mind all take that in.

So I started small.
I started with one kind sentence a day.
Sometimes I didn’t believe it. Sometimes it felt fake.
But I kept going.

And eventually, those gentle words turned into something bigger: compassion. Forgiveness. Even love.

Speak Like It Matters—Because It Does

When I shifted the way I spoke to myself, something else changed: the way I spoke to others. And sometimes that was easier—giving kind words to others, even when I couldn’t give them to myself. But what I found is that the more kindness I gave away, the more I saw myself as someone capable of kindness. The cycle slowly started to shift.

Today, I try to ask myself before I speak:
Will these words hurt or heal?

That one question has the power to change a conversation. A relationship. A life. Let your words be the ones that bring light—not pain.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you pause before you speak, or do your words just pour out?

  • Have your words ever hurt someone you love? What happened?

  • How do you speak to yourself—especially when you’re struggling?

  • Can you remember a time when your words helped someone heal?

  • What would change if you made kindness your default language?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one small way you can use your words today to heal instead of hurt—either for yourself or someone else?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been hard on themselves lately, send this to them.
Sometimes, the right words come at the right time—and change everything.

Kindness Is Contagious

Kindness. It’s something we should all be happy to spread around, and it only takes a second. These days, when we’re out in the world, the energy around us is often filled with nervousness, frustration, fear, or just the urge to get back home safely. Amidst all that, we should always remember to be kind.

The Power of a Simple Gesture

We’re all in the same boat. Some are still trying to get essentials and supplies, navigating through aisles, following store arrows, finding empty shelves, or limits on how much they can buy. And if you’re like me, you can feel that energy and begin to take it on as your own. But that’s where kindness comes in—because the antidote to all of that is kindness.

When I focus on being kind, it calms me. It keeps me steady, considerate, and compassionate toward others who are navigating those same aisles, looking for the same things. When a moment presents itself—whether it’s a smile, a thank you, or a small act of service—I see the result in the eyes of the person in front of me. It changes their energy. We all have the power to be kind. And especially now, we should be wielding it like a superpower.

A Shift from Self to Service

When I was living in the dark, I still had that power, but most of the time I chose not to use it. I was focused on what life could give me, what I could take, and how life had let me down. That mindset kept me sick, miserable, and isolated. Sure, there were moments of kindness, but for the most part, I was too wrapped up in myself.

When I began my recovery journey, I was told that a big part of my healing would come from being of service to others. I didn’t believe I had anything to give at first. But I was reminded that I could always be kind. Just focusing on kindness shifted my thinking and lifted my mood as I stepped out each day. Even when I didn’t feel up to it, I was told those were the days I needed to lean into kindness even more.

And they were right.

Even on my darkest days, when I mustered up kindness for someone else, it changed me. It brought light into a dark moment. Kindness is contagious not just for those receiving it—but for us too.

Little Acts, Big Impact

Today, I make a point of looking for those moments of kindness. Even a simple “hello” or “how are you” can shift the energy. Just yesterday at the pharmacy, I asked the man behind the counter how he was. He looked at me, paused, smiled, and said, “I’m fine, and thank you for asking.” His energy lifted. We shared a brief, pleasant exchange, and both of us felt the power of kindness.

Spreading Light in Uncertain Times

It’s easy to rush through life, hyper-focused on the tasks at hand. But let’s not forget the others out there who may be under stress, fear, or anxiety. Let’s take an extra moment to check in, to say thank you to the front-line workers, the grocery clerks, the baristas, the people taking our temperatures. Let them know they are seen and appreciated.

We’re all in this together. Why not spread something good while we’re out there? Let your kindness be a light in an uncertain time.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • When you’re out in the world, do you make a point of being kind?

  • If not, why not?

  • How do you feel when someone says or does something kind for you?

  • How do you feel when you offer kindness to someone else?

  • Have you made an extra effort to be kind lately? If not, why?

  • Has someone been extra kind to you? How did that feel?

That feeling is a gift we can offer to anyone we see—and it’s a gift we’ll get back when we do.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one simple act of kindness you can offer today—big or small?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s lift each other up.

And if you know someone who could use a little kindness, send this to them.
Sometimes, all it takes is a reminder that kindness is powerful.

Giving Rather Than Getting

There was a time when everything I did came with a silent expectation.
If I showed up for you, I wanted something in return. If I helped, I hoped you’d notice. And if I gave anything of myself, I measured it against what I might receive.

The scales were always out—always tallying the effort and the reward. And when the reward didn’t match the effort? I’d spiral. I’d get resentful, frustrated, even self-righteous. I wore my “sacrifice” like a badge, convincing myself I was generous, when in reality, I was just trying to fill an empty space inside me.

But living that way left me exhausted, isolated, and hollow. It was all about me—and it never felt like enough.

Learning to Give Without Expectation

When I began my recovery journey, one of the first things I was told was this: to keep what you’ve been given, you have to give it away.

At first, that made no sense to me. I was barely hanging on. I felt like I had nothing to offer. How could I give when I was still trying to survive?

But I quickly learned that we always have something to give. Even when we’re at our lowest, our honesty, our story, our presence—they matter.

On the days when I felt broken or unsure, just saying “I’m not okay today” gave others permission to say the same. That alone created connection. And that connection helped both of us breathe a little easier.

Service Is a Two-Way Street

Giving isn’t just about grand gestures. It’s about showing up. Listening. Checking in. Offering time or kindness without needing anything back.

And here’s the thing: when we shift our focus from ourselves to someone else, something powerful happens. We get out of our heads. We stop obsessing over our problems, even for a moment. And sometimes, those moments are exactly what we need to find our footing again.

Helping others helps us, too. It reminds us of how far we’ve come. It brings us back to the present. And it shows us that we’re capable of making a difference—even on days when we feel like we’re falling apart.

But it only works when we give without strings attached.

Check Your Motives

There’s a big difference between offering help out of love and offering help because you expect something in return.

One is generous.
The other is transactional.

And when we expect something in return, it turns kindness into manipulation.

It’s not always easy to recognize. Sometimes, our ego disguises expectation as “helpfulness.” But if you’re giving with a secret hope that someone will praise you, repay you, or see you differently—it’s time to check your motives.

The truth is, the real reward of giving comes when we release the outcome. When we trust that showing up with a pure heart is enough.

Let the Act Be the Gift

When we give freely, with no attachment to the result, we open ourselves up to deeper joy, unexpected blessings, and real connection.

Sometimes the reward is knowing someone else feels less alone. Sometimes it’s gaining perspective on our own journey. And sometimes it’s simply the peace that comes from doing the next right thing.

The universe has a way of putting us exactly where we need to be—if we’re willing to stay present and let go of what we think we should get out of it.

So next time you feel moved to give, ask yourself: Am I giving for the right reasons?
If the answer is yes—lean in. You never know how far that act of kindness might reach.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s get real, SLAYER:

  • S: Do you focus more on giving or on what you might get in return?

  • L: Have you ever felt disappointed after giving? What were your expectations?

  • A: What would giving look like in your life if you let go of the outcome?

  • Y: How can you show up for someone today simply because you want to—not because of what you might receive in return?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
When was the last time you gave without expecting anything in return—and how did it shift your day or your perspective?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling with expectations, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Results vs. Rewards

Before I started this journey, I was very rewards-oriented. If I did something nice for someone, I expected something in return—or at the very least, an acknowledgment of my good deed. And if I didn’t get that, I’d hold onto one heck of a resentment. I wouldn’t say anything about it until I could throw a zinger at them later—a quick-witted one-liner meant to sting.

I was good at those, too. I even prided myself on them.

I thought if I did the right thing, the universe owed me something good in return. But it rarely worked that way. Because when you go into a situation with an expectation, you’re not going in with a pure heart—or the right frame of mind.

Doing It for the Right Reasons

I’ve talked about this before: we should never enter into anything unless we want to do it—and don’t expect anything in return.

Oh, that’s right. That’s the only reason to do anything. Because you want to. Period.

It’s the only way to keep your intentions pure. It’s the only way not to be let down when your expectations aren’t met.

When I’m having a challenging day—or I’m just plain grumpy—it happens. I’ll do something nice for someone without them knowing. It could be paying for someone’s coffee or putting money in a meter that’s about to expire. It might be something bigger. But the point is, I do it without expecting a reward.

But here’s the twist: we do get something in return. A result. And a result is far more important than a reward.

Esteemable Acts Build Self-Esteem

Sure, it’s nice to get a reward. I think we can all agree. But if that’s your sole purpose for doing something, you’re going to be disappointed—often.

It’s the result of doing something that truly matters. When we do esteemable acts, we build self-esteem. We begin to like who we are, respect who we are, and learn to trust who we are.

I had to learn this when I made the choice to get better. I had to make a conscious decision to practice it each day.

It felt strange at first—to do something nice without the other person knowing. I was told that if they found out, it didn’t count and I’d have to find something else. So, I turned it into a little game. Like a positive secret.

I used the same cleverness I once used to manipulate people to figure out how to do something kind without them finding out it was me. It actually became fun. And the more I looked for those moments, the more I found them.

The result? My mind stayed positive because I was looking for positive things to do. And that kept me living in the light. No reward could do that for me. A reward might shine a light on me temporarily, but it wouldn’t keep the light on in my life day after day.

Choosing the Path of Growth

We live in a world that’s very reward-oriented. It’s easy to fall into the expectation of getting something for doing something.

But we SLAYERS are better than that.

We’re about growth, learning, and striving to do better. What we want are results.

Results that help us build a strong foundation. Results that keep us on the right path, doing the right things, and remembering why we’re doing them.

Esteemable acts build self-esteem. They help us shed the feeling of being “less-than” or deficient. They quiet those negative voices because we’re not just doing what’s best for us—we’re also considering those around us.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Do you do things and expect a reward? What happens if you don’t get one, or aren’t acknowledged for your good deed?

Do you feel negatively toward that person? What if you didn’t expect a reward? What if you just did good things to do them—without expecting anything in return?

I challenge you, SLAYER, to do three good things for three different people this week without them knowing. If they find out, it doesn’t count, and you’ll need to find something else.

Write down how you feel after doing them. Then write down how you feel compared to before you did them.

Keep going, SLAYER. When we look for the good, we find the good.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one small act of kindness you’re committing to this week—just because?
Share your thoughts and stories in the comments. Let’s inspire each other to keep growing.

And if you know someone who could use this message, share it with them.
Sometimes, the best rewards come from giving freely.