satisfy

What You Worship Will Eat You Alive

Whether you consider yourself religious, spiritual or an atheist, many of us still worship something. It may be money, clothes, ourselves, weight, beauty, travel, it can be a person, but whatever it is, whenever we place too much importance, above and beyond our own well-being, mental health and spiritual fitness, will eventually eat us alive, as what we worship will never be enough.

We can chase these material or idealistic ideas into our grave, thinking if only we just had more of it that would solve all our problems, if only we could obtain it all, then we would be enough. Nothing, that we can touch, taste or feel will ever replace peace of mind and self-love. Trust me, I tried for more than half my life. I chased clothes, shoes, handbags, beauty products, career, friends, anything I could that I thought would fill the void I felt inside, and no matter how much I got, it never did, I still felt empty, and I still hated myself. And not only did it not fill that void, it filled with me with jealousy and envy of those I thought had I wanted or needed to finally be fulfilled, and, I thought, happy. That thinking brought me down some pretty dark paths, and sparked some serious selfish motives in my day to day life. My drive, all of my thoughts, went to obtaining those things, and even when I would get what I was wanting, it was never enough, because there was always something bigger and better just out of reach. I was never going to have all of clothes, the shoes, the handbags the money, the projects, the friends, and so on, that I thought I needed to finally feel the way I wanted to feel, and that obsession brought me to a place where, realizing that, I then reached for whatever I could to numb myself so I wouldn’t feel the disappointment of that, and the fear that I was never going to fill that void inside of myself.

I had to learn that life isn’t about all of those things I thought I needed for happiness, it is about learning to love myself, and sharing that love with others. Those moments we get to share with someone else who appreciate our time and who we are, just as we are. It’s about all the stuff we can’t buy. And, it’s stuff we shouldn’t have to chase, or, it wasn’t meant for us in the first place. It turns out the trick to finding happiness was living in gratitude, it was being honest with myself, of finding forgiveness, of learning to laugh when I make mistakes, and letting my light and heart shine. There is nothing that can be bought or taken that can replace any of those things, never mind worshiped. What we should place our attention on is positive thinking, is healing, of giving back, and finding something that we can connect with that may guide us, or help us to feel grounded and at home, that, for me took the place of all the other stuff, and that is what finally filled my heart.

It’s easy to look at what others may have, or the latest and brightest new thing that promises to make our life better and think that is what  is going to make our life better, but we are the only ones who can do that by the choices we make and what we choose to place as being important in our lives. When we put too much energy into obtaining something or someone and give it all of our power we are in trouble. What we seek may eat us alive from the inside out. Start to find happiness from within and see how that radiates in everything you do, you may just realize you’re wealthy in ways you had never seen, and instead of hording the things you think you need, perhaps you will share yourself with those who will love and appreciate you. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you worship material things, or, people and places, thinking you need to have them in order to be happy? What do you worship? Why do you think that is the key to your happiness? What is enough to make you happy? Is it ever enough? Or, is there always more, or something newer or better? Do you ever feel satisfied? If not, why not? What can you do today to look within, to find some happiness in yourself or perhaps in a spiritual connection that makes you feel loved? When we place so much importance on outside things we set ourselves for disappointment, and, eventually even self-destruction. Put your focus on the right things, the things that give back to yourself and the things you can share with those in your life, not the things that can be bought, those things that matter most, you, just as you are.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Sing For Joy, No Other Reason

We should always do what makes our spirit bright, and for no other reason but that. We can get caught up in doing things for the recognition, for our ego, for bragging rights, to prove our worth, but none of those things will fill us up like just doing it for the joy of it. We place importance on certain events or opportunities, put pressure on ourselves to perform at a certain level or we feel we’ve failed, we don’t fully appreciate the moment and how it makes us feel because we’re focused on the result, or what we hope it will be instead of just letting ourselves go and enjoying what we’re doing and how it makes us feel when we do. The real questions are, what motivates us to do what we love, what are we looking for from doing them, and why are we drawn to them in the first place?

Before stepping on this path I always had ulterior motives for doing what I did, even the things I loved. It was very rare that I would really just let myself go and let myself enjoy those things, without wanting something, even to just feel something specifically, instead of just allowing myself to feel what came naturally. I tried to make myself feel specific things by doing specific activities, to try to force those feelings, because I wanted to feel them, but wouldn’t allow myself to organically feel them by just being true to myself. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t know how to be true to myself because I had stuffed down my true self so deep I didn’t even know where to find her anymore, or who she really was. So everything I did was manufactured, to look and feel the way I wanted to, nothing was just for joy. Nothing was ever done and left to chance. I tried to always manipulate the outcome. It was a lot of work, and I was never truly satisfied because nothing was ever real, and the more I did it, the more I lost touch with reality and what really did bring joy to my life. I told myself certain things did because it looked or sounded good, or because I thought I should, or may have remembered it did once, but I lost touch with the joy in my life, and what used to bring it to my life.

Today I need to do the things in my life that bring me joy, I need to feed that part of me that shines when I do, that part that nourishes me, that makes my heart smile, I need those things today, it gives me fuel to keep going, and to share my joy with others. That’s the thing about joy, it’s contagious, and when we feel it, it pours out of us and gives others permission to seek out their own joy, or maybe tap into to ours a little bit until they find their own. And if I want to sing, I will sing, because I feel like I want to, even though I can’t sing, it doesn’t matter, as long as it brings me joy, that is the only result I seek today. Now, having said that, I will come up against old thinking sometimes that wants to put pressure on me to do things for the wrong reasons, but typically I can stop myself and remind myself to have fun, to do it for fun, and to let it go. The more we stay out of the results, the happier we’ll be.

Let yourself go SLAYER, do what you love just for the joy of it, even if you’re not great at it, as long as you are enjoying that’s all the matters, that is a win, just do it. Take the pressure off yourself for things to look or feel a certain way and just be. Just be, and trust that is enough, because when you are in that place of authenticity you will always be guided to what will bring you the most joy. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: What in your life brings you the most joy? When you do that thing that brings you joy do you allow yourself to just do it without any expectations or concern about the results? If not, what are you expectations or hope for the results? What if you let those go? What then? Do you remember a time when you didn’t have those expectations or hope for those results? How did that feel? What can you do today to let go of your expectations and just let yourself be in the moment? Write down 5 things that bring you joy. Now, set out to do them for the only reason that you should have, because you want to, and because it lets your heart shine. Keep letting it shine, and keep finding your joy.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you