emotional well-being

It’s OK Not To Be OK

After a challenging week, I realized I needed a mental health break. And maybe you do too. So, here’s something I want to share with you again: It’s OK not to be OK.

Living Behind a Mask

For most of my life, I was an expert at pretending everything was fine. I stuffed down my feelings and convinced myself that showing emotion was a sign of weakness. Even when I was falling apart inside, I smiled and put on a brave face. I believed that if I pretended everything was OK, no one would ask questions. And I was right—until I couldn’t pretend anymore.

I surrounded myself with people who were emotionally unavailable, people who wouldn’t ask too many questions. If someone did get too close, I’d quietly phase them out. I believed that admitting I wasn’t OK would push people away. What I didn’t realize was that hiding my truth was isolating me—and killing me from the inside out.

The Moment of Truth

Everything changed the day I finally reached out for help. In a place of desperation, I said the words that had been trapped inside me for so long: “I’m not OK, and I don’t know what to do about it.” To my surprise, the world didn’t fall apart. Instead, it opened up. People I expected to retreat actually drew closer. They offered support, love, and understanding. My honesty became a bridge—connecting me to others who were also struggling, or who had found their way to the other side.

That moment wasn’t just about seeking help. It was about reclaiming my power. Speaking my truth loosened the shame that had gripped me for so long. Instead of feeling weak, I felt strong. Instead of feeling alone, I felt connected. And for the first time in a long time, I felt hope.

The Strength in Vulnerability

No one is OK all the time. No one. Yet we hold ourselves to impossible standards, expecting to be strong, unshaken, and fine—even when we’re anything but. When we keep our struggles hidden, they grow heavier. They fester. They become harder to carry.

Sharing your truth doesn’t make you weak. It makes you brave. It doesn’t push people away—it invites them in. And it creates space for healing, connection, and community. I know because I’ve lived it.

A New Kind of Courage

I’m not saying it’s easy. The first time I admitted I wasn’t OK, it was terrifying. But with each honest conversation, it got easier. Over time, I discovered that vulnerability was not my enemy—it was my greatest ally. It connected me to a SLAYER army of people who understood, who had been there, and who were ready to stand beside me as I fought my way back to the light.

You’re Not Alone

If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re the only one struggling—hear me now: You’re not alone. We all have days when we’re not OK. And when those days come, it’s not a failure. It’s a sign to reach out, to lean on others, and to remember that you don’t have to carry it all by yourself.

Speak your truth. Share your struggle. And know that in doing so, you’re taking the first step toward healing.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • When you’re not OK, do you share that with others?

  • If you don’t, why not? What are you afraid of?

  • Are these fears based on facts, or imagined outcomes?

  • Who in your life do you trust to share your truth with?

  • Think of a time when you shared your truth. How did it feel?

  • If you’ve never shared, I challenge you to start today.

  • Remember: It’s OK not to be OK, and just saying so gets you on the road to recovery. Take that step, SLAYER.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What has helped you feel more comfortable sharing when you’re not OK?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who needs this reminder, send this to them.
Sometimes, knowing they’re not alone makes all the difference.

If It Costs You Your Peace It’s Too Expensive

I used to let my stubbornness steal my peace.
If there was something I wanted, I was hellbent on making it happen—no matter the cost. I believed that pushing, forcing, and controlling the outcome was how you “won.” But all I really won was anxiety, burnout, and a whole lot of frustration.

Peace?
I didn’t even know what that looked like. And in my mind, if I had to sacrifice it to get what I wanted, so be it.

I also let relationships rob me of my peace. I gave them too much power, placed too much value on maintaining certain connections—whether or not they were good for me.
My life was one big internal tug-of-war between what I wanted and what was actually happening.

I was never at peace. And I didn’t realize just how much that was costing me.

Peace Is the New Priority

When I started this path, I was told something that stuck with me:
Your peace is more important than anything you’re chasing.

At first, I wasn’t sure how to take that. I thought it meant giving up. But it didn’t. It meant shifting my priorities—choosing myself.

It didn’t mean stop going after what I want. It meant not letting the pursuit of it wreck me in the process.

If what I’m chasing is costing me my peace?
It’s too expensive.

That became my new measuring stick.

When the Price Is Too High

When I feel anxiety start to build, when I feel myself getting defiant, angry, or obsessive—I know.
Whatever I’m chasing has tipped the scale.
It’s no longer about the goal—it’s about control.
And that’s when I have to step back.

This way of thinking was completely foreign to me at first.
I used to believe that pushing through the pain, sacrificing myself for the win, was what strength looked like.
I thought that was self-care—doing whatever it took to succeed.

But it wasn’t self-care. It was self-abandonment.
And I didn’t know the difference until I got honest about what peace actually meant.

Real Peace Is Rooted in Self-Love

Today, I know better.

True self-care doesn’t bulldoze you to the finish line.
It doesn’t demand you give up your mental, emotional, or spiritual well-being in the name of achievement or connection.

Real peace is quiet.
Gentle.
Steady.
And the more I protect it, the more clarity I have.

I no longer force things into being.
I no longer chase what isn’t meant for me.
I no longer need to prove I’m right or make something “work” when every sign tells me it’s not aligned.

That doesn’t mean I don’t work hard. I do.
It just means I work in a way that doesn’t betray myself in the process.

Peace Over Proving

Now when something feels “off,” I pause. I check in with myself.
Is this discomfort a sign I’m stepping out of my comfort zone—or is it warning me that my peace is at risk?

There’s a difference.

One is growth. The other is self-sacrifice.

Today, I choose peace. I protect it. I guard it like the sacred thing it is—because I’ve learned that nothing I want is worth losing it.

So when something feels forced or frantic, I ask myself:
Is it costing me my peace?
If the answer is yes, then it’s not worth it.

SLAY Reflection: Is It Worth Your Peace?

  1. What things or people are you allowing to steal your peace right now?
    What’s the result of that?
  2. Why do you continue to chase things at the cost of your well-being?
    Is it a habit, fear, or need for control?
  3. What does peace actually feel like for you?
    And when was the last time you truly felt it?
  4. What boundaries could you set to protect your peace more consistently?
    What might change if you did?
  5. What can you do today—right now—to honor your peace above all else?
    Because it is not replaceable.

    Call to Action: Join the Conversation

    I’d love to hear from you.
    What’s one thing you’ve had to walk away from in order to protect your peace?
    Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

    And if you know someone who’s struggling to choose peace over pressure, send this to them.
    Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Willingness: The Key To Change

Before there’s change, before there’s healing, before there’s transformation—there’s willingness.

Not certainty. Not a roadmap. Not a plan. Just the smallest shift that says: maybe there’s another way. That shift is the spark that lights the path forward.

Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.

The Power of Being Open

Willingness isn’t a commitment—it’s a crack in the door. A whisper of possibility. A softening where there once was resistance.

Change is hard. Growth can be uncomfortable. And yet, when we allow ourselves to be open—to just consider a new perspective—we invite in something powerful. We make space for clarity, connection, healing.

When I first stepped onto the path of recovery, I wasn’t ready to overhaul my life. I didn’t have all the answers. But I was willing. And that willingness brought people into my life I never expected. It helped me find tools I didn’t know I needed. And slowly, my world expanded. It got bigger, brighter, and full of light.

It wasn’t easy. In fact, it almost didn’t happen. I had reached a point so low, I could barely imagine a way forward. But in that moment, the tiniest willingness cracked through the darkness—and everything changed from there.

What Willingness Actually Looks Like

We often think willingness means taking big leaps. But really, it’s more like:

  • Saying, “Maybe I don’t have all the answers.”
  • Being open to new tools, even if they feel unfamiliar.
  • Letting someone help you—really help you.
  • Admitting something isn’t working the way you hoped.

Willingness makes life bigger. It breaks us out of the echo chambers in our heads and says, “What if there’s more?”

The Shift That Changes Everything

Willingness is not about setting an entire plan in motion. It’s about being open to the idea that something might be possible.

That maybe you don’t have to keep living under the weight of what’s not working. That maybe your life could feel lighter. That maybe there’s help—and healing—available to you.

When you’re willing, you become a magnet for the right people, places, and opportunities. You notice support instead of deflecting it. You welcome answers instead of defending limitations. You shift from surviving to slowly, gently, learning to thrive.

I Still Choose Willingness Every Day

Even now, years into this journey, willingness remains one of my most powerful tools. Every time I fall, every time I face something unfamiliar, I remind myself: I just have to be willing. Not perfect. Not fearless. Just willing.

Because willingness invites the Universe to show up. It creates space for grace. And that space? It’s often where the biggest breakthroughs begin.

So wherever you are today, ask yourself: Am I willing?

You don’t have to say yes to everything. You don’t have to commit to a massive shift. But if you can find even a flicker of willingness, that might just be enough to change everything.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What does willingness mean to you?
  2. Are there areas of your life where you’ve been closed off to change?
  3. What’s one thing you might be willing to consider today?
  4. How might your life shift if you simply stayed open?
  5. What scares you about being willing—and what excites you about it?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Start small—openness begins with a thought
  • Let go of the need to have all the answers
  • Allow yourself to explore, not commit
  • You are allowed to grow at your own pace

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one area of your life you’re willing to shift?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to take the first step, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

You Are Not Responsible For Other People’s Happiness

News flash, SLAYER – you’re not responsible for other people’s happiness! I spent so much of my life trying to make or keep everyone else happy. It wasn’t until I started this journey that someone told me my real responsibility was to make sure I was happy. At first, it felt selfish.

It was pointed out that my efforts to make others happy were sometimes rooted in wanting something in return – even just acknowledgment. I wasn’t doing it purely from the goodness of my heart. Instead, I was trying to fill my own void or prove I was a “good” person.

The People-Pleaser Pattern

As a kid, I constantly tried to make my parents happy. I wore that effort like a badge of honor. Even into adulthood, that need to please followed me. I thought if I could make someone happy, that would mean I had worth. But what it really meant was putting others’ feelings ahead of my own, neglecting my needs, and losing my voice.

I’d martyr myself when my efforts weren’t appreciated. I’d lash out or resent the person for not seeing what I was doing for them. But the truth is, I was trying to do someone else’s job—their happiness—and ignoring the work I needed to do for my own.

Happiness Is an Inside Job

Here’s the reality: we’re all responsible for our own happiness. No one else can do it for us. Sure, it’s lovely when someone does something that makes us feel good. But relying on others to provide our happiness is like expecting someone to go to work for you while you still cash the paycheck.

Happiness comes from within. It’s about being authentic, living our truth, and knowing what lights us up. It’s about asking for what we need without fear and showing compassion for others while still prioritizing our own joy.

Shifting the Narrative

Doing nice things for others can bring happiness—it feels good to spread love. But it should nourish, not replace your happiness. Sometimes, seeing what makes others happy can reveal what makes us happy. But one should never replace the other.

Start identifying what makes you happy. Explore, try new things, say yes. Your happiness shouldn’t hinge on someone else’s feelings. When you make yourself a priority, that joy spills over to those around you—authentically and without strings.

Happiness Is Contagious (But Starts With You)

Our path is about finding what makes our hearts shine. It’s okay to do things we don’t want to do sometimes, but not at the expense of our own happiness. When we cheat ourselves, we also cheat others of finding their happiness.

Fill your life with what brings you joy. And by making your happiness a priority, you might just inspire others to do the same. See how that works?

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflection Questions

  • Do you put others’ happiness before your own?

  • Why do you think you do that?

  • Do you believe you deserve to be happy? (You do!)

  • What truly makes you happy?

  • How can you challenge yourself to prioritize your happiness today?

Happiness is your job, SLAYER. Make it a priority. SLAY on.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you’ll prioritize your happiness today?
Share your thoughts in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to put themselves first, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.