We all make mistakes.
It’s how we grow. It’s how we learn.
Sometimes we learn to do things differently, and sometimes we simply learn that mistakes are just part of the process—an oops, not an identity.
But there’s a dangerous turning point many of us reach:
When we start to believe that we are the mistake.
That’s when mistakes stop being lessons and start becoming labels.
And when we internalize our failures, we block our own growth.
The Trap of Perfectionism
When I was living in the dark, I believed I was a mistake.
Every time I messed up—even just a little—I used it as proof that I was broken, unworthy, or incapable.
I set impossibly high standards for myself, and when I didn’t meet them, I punished myself emotionally.
- I beat myself up.
- I questioned my worth.
- I kept mental score of every misstep.
Perfection wasn’t just the goal—it was the requirement.
And every time I fell short, I used it as another reason to feel like I had failed at life.
The Permission to Mess Up
Everything changed when I got help.
I was told something I had never even considered:
It’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, it’s encouraged.
Mistakes meant I was trying.
Mistakes meant I was doing something new.
Mistakes meant I was taking action—even if the outcome didn’t go as planned.
That shift in thinking opened the door to something I hadn’t felt in a long time: freedom.
I stopped needing to be perfect and started focusing on being present.
I learned to ask, What can this mistake teach me? instead of, What does this say about me?
Listening to the Signs
Another thing I began to notice?
I made more mistakes when I wasn’t taking care of myself.
If I was tired, overwhelmed, underfed, or overworked—my errors increased.
And instead of blaming myself, I started seeing those slip-ups as signals.
- Maybe I needed rest.
- Maybe I needed better boundaries.
- Maybe I needed to slow down.
Mistakes became more than just missteps—they became a check-in.
An opportunity to notice where I might be neglecting my own needs.
Mistakes That Lead to Magic
Here’s the other thing:
Some of my biggest mistakes?
They’ve led me to some of the most beautiful parts of my life.
If I hadn’t taken the wrong turn, I wouldn’t have found the right path.
If I hadn’t said yes when I probably should have said no, I wouldn’t have learned what a real yes feels like.
We don’t always know in the moment, but sometimes what we call a mistake is actually just a redirection.
A plot twist with a purpose.
The Only Real Mistake?
The only mistake you can make is not taking action because you’re afraid of failing.
Playing it safe. Holding back. Staying small. That’s where real regret grows.
Life isn’t about getting it right all the time.
It’s about trying.
Learning.
Adjusting.
And trying again.
Mistakes are just part of the road.
They’re not roadblocks. They’re guides.
And they are never who you are.
SLAY Reflection: What Are You Learning?
- Do you tend to beat yourself up when you make a mistake?
What does your inner voice sound like in those moments? - Have any of your past mistakes led to something unexpectedly positive?
What did you learn? - What can you do to be more forgiving of yourself when you mess up?
What would you say to a friend in your position? - Are you holding back from taking action out of fear of making a mistake?
What might shift if you gave yourself permission to just try? - How can you begin turning your mistakes into tools for learning instead of weapons for self-punishment?
What would change if you saw them as stepping stones instead of stop signs?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one mistake you’ve learned from—and how did it help you grow?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s being too hard on themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
