entitled

Entitlement, Entitlement!

When I first started to walk this path, I had to give up a lot of things, make changes, leave my old way of life behind. The ways I used to deal with problems or cope with life were killing me, literally, and so I had to learn new ways, and even though I knew what I was doing was for my greater good, it’s hard to let go of a lifetime of doing things a certain way, ways that my brain told me protected me and helped me to function in my dysfunctional world. But I did it. I dove in to these changes to the best of my ability and as I got better at implementing them in my life, without me even realizing it, I started to feel entitled to having things go my way. I thought, well, I’ve made all these changes, done all this work, how dare life just go on as normal and throw me these curve balls, or difficult things to handle, when I should now have everything go my way. Doesn’t life know how much I’m working to make positive changes in my life!? Well, sure I was working hard, and I was making progress, but that doesn’t mean that life now was going to roll out the red carpet and I would be on easy street for the rest of my life. Life still did what life does, it ebbs and flows, and, we have no control over that.

What we do have control over is our attitude, and how we look at perceived negativities in our life. Life may not always go the way we’d like it to go, but how do we know what way it should go anyway? We only have the tiniest bit of information, the part that pertains to us, we don’t know how our part plays into the big scheme of things, and how all of those, perceived, negative things may just end up being the most positive thing in our lives because they challenged us, and taught us, and coached us into being who we are today, or who we were meant to be. Life doesn’t owe us anything. We owe ourselves our best effort everyday, to be the best of who we are, or at the very least, the best we have in that moment. It’s up to us to find those positive places in our life and to let our light shine, not only for ourselves, but so others can see it, and know there is light in the world, even at it’s darkest. We are not entitled to anything just because we’ve made positive changes in our life, but, when we make positive changes positive things come, and some negative things will come as well, but when we live in the light those negative things may not seem to big as they once did, or, you may realize that they were never really negative at all, they were just shifting your path or direction slightly to align you to where you were supposed to be. Where we find grace in our recovery or positive direction is when we can ride those waves, accept what is, learn where we can, and make the best or better choices for ourselves, without making more waves.

During the years of living this way, I do expect the good, because I give and live in the good, but I by no means feel entitled to it. I know what comes my way is there to guide me and teach me so I can continue to learn on this path, so that I can continue to meet others, like me, on this path and learn from them, and so I may share what I’ve learned on this path with those who may have just started their journey. Life is going to do what it’s going to do, and I’m going to do what I’ve been taught, to except what comes my way as what is meant to, then, it’s up to me what I do with that. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you feel like life owes you something? If yes, why? Do you see that that kind of thinking only breeds resentments? What positive changes have you made in your life lately and what have been the effects of that? How does this change how you deal with negative things in our life? How has the way you deal with these negative things changed? How as that changed you? We are not guaranteed anything in life, but we can make the most of what we have and what we’ve been given. We can choose to learn from those things we may not have wanted for ourselves, and choose to see the lesson in them, or the opportunity to do better than we have in the past. Maybe even use them to help someone else, you never know what you are capable of as long as you live in humility and accept whatever life throws your way instead of expecting life to cater to your wishes and needs.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

You Are Not Entitled To Be Happy

Yeah, I bet that got your attention. It is up to each and every one of us to find our happy. Within every circumstance. Being happy is a choice. It’s about being open to new things, different things than the things we thought were going to make us happy. It’s about releasing the constraints of what you think you need to be happy, to let happy happen even when it doesn’t look exactly how you think it should, or needs to be.

I’ve heard people around me say, many times, “well, I did all of these good things for myself, cleaned up my life, played by the rules, and I still didn’t get what I wanted,” and I always say, “you’ve gotten what you’re supposed to have gotten, when you’re supposed to have gotten it.” Sometimes The Universe, God, whatever your belief is, saves us from ourselves, because what we think we want, isn’t what is good for us, or best for us, or, we’re just not ready for it. I always try to look at opportunities I thought I missed out on as exactly that. Things I wasn’t meant to have, or may not have been in the right place for, even though I thought I should be there or get those things. It’s about trusting you are where you’re supposed to be, and knowing that, life hasn’t forgotten about you, if you feel stuck, that’s a time to ask yourself how you can move forward, or if there is something you are doing that’s keeping you stuck, how can you contribute to yourself moving in the direction of what you want, of, well, happy. I mean, we should be finding happy exactly where we are, but it’s also OK to want to keep going, to get to the next step or level in our lives to a place, or places, we’ve always wanted to go. Just don’t forget to appreciate where you are right now, and what you’ve overcome to get there. Don’t get so caught up in the future that you can’t appreciate the now. The now is important, and it’s important to find happy in the now.

We, as human beings, only know a little, we can only see what’s in front of us, and where we’ve been, but we only have our own perspective, we can’t see the bigger picture, how our lives fit into the overall tapestry of lives all around us, and even beyond, because we are all connected in many ways, and everything we do, as it does with others, affects those around us and far beyond, beyond we even realize, or could ever know. Each decision we make, each action, has a ripple effect, and it keeps rippling out, maybe for a lifetime. I know myself that, there are many people who have affected my life and their actions still are active in my life today, even though it may have been many many years since that interaction. Trust, that the people who are and are coming into your life are meant to be there for a reason, some for a long time, and some for a short period, but no one comes in without a reason, good, bad, it’s all about learning, loving, and well, finding our way to happy, even in the moment.

My favorite word that is used to define happy is buoyant, which means able to stay afloat or rise to the top. That describes my happy. When I think back to the unhappy time in my life, the years and years of unhappy, I was sinking, I was not afloat, it took me shedding the pain, shame, and anger of my past to learn to float, and today I float at the top, and I am happy.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you get angry that you are not happy? Do you feel like life owes you happiness? Why? Why do you think you can’t find happiness? Have you ever felt happy? When was that? Why were you happy? How do you think you lost it? How do you think you can get it back? Do you trust that you are where you’re supposed to be? If you are not happy in that place, is there something you can do to get yourself out that you are not doing? Why haven’t you done it? Do it SLAYER, find your happy, and if you are getting in the way of your own happiness, let it go, go get your happy, it’s worth the work, because you deserve to be happy. SLAY on!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you