chance

Sing For Joy, No Other Reason

We should always do what makes our spirit bright, and for no other reason but that. We can get caught up in doing things for the recognition, for our ego, for bragging rights, to prove our worth, but none of those things will fill us up like just doing it for the joy of it. We place importance on certain events or opportunities, put pressure on ourselves to perform at a certain level or we feel we’ve failed, we don’t fully appreciate the moment and how it makes us feel because we’re focused on the result, or what we hope it will be instead of just letting ourselves go and enjoying what we’re doing and how it makes us feel when we do. The real questions are, what motivates us to do what we love, what are we looking for from doing them, and why are we drawn to them in the first place?

Before stepping on this path I always had ulterior motives for doing what I did, even the things I loved. It was very rare that I would really just let myself go and let myself enjoy those things, without wanting something, even to just feel something specifically, instead of just allowing myself to feel what came naturally. I tried to make myself feel specific things by doing specific activities, to try to force those feelings, because I wanted to feel them, but wouldn’t allow myself to organically feel them by just being true to myself. The truth of the matter was, I didn’t know how to be true to myself because I had stuffed down my true self so deep I didn’t even know where to find her anymore, or who she really was. So everything I did was manufactured, to look and feel the way I wanted to, nothing was just for joy. Nothing was ever done and left to chance. I tried to always manipulate the outcome. It was a lot of work, and I was never truly satisfied because nothing was ever real, and the more I did it, the more I lost touch with reality and what really did bring joy to my life. I told myself certain things did because it looked or sounded good, or because I thought I should, or may have remembered it did once, but I lost touch with the joy in my life, and what used to bring it to my life.

Today I need to do the things in my life that bring me joy, I need to feed that part of me that shines when I do, that part that nourishes me, that makes my heart smile, I need those things today, it gives me fuel to keep going, and to share my joy with others. That’s the thing about joy, it’s contagious, and when we feel it, it pours out of us and gives others permission to seek out their own joy, or maybe tap into to ours a little bit until they find their own. And if I want to sing, I will sing, because I feel like I want to, even though I can’t sing, it doesn’t matter, as long as it brings me joy, that is the only result I seek today. Now, having said that, I will come up against old thinking sometimes that wants to put pressure on me to do things for the wrong reasons, but typically I can stop myself and remind myself to have fun, to do it for fun, and to let it go. The more we stay out of the results, the happier we’ll be.

Let yourself go SLAYER, do what you love just for the joy of it, even if you’re not great at it, as long as you are enjoying that’s all the matters, that is a win, just do it. Take the pressure off yourself for things to look or feel a certain way and just be. Just be, and trust that is enough, because when you are in that place of authenticity you will always be guided to what will bring you the most joy. SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: What in your life brings you the most joy? When you do that thing that brings you joy do you allow yourself to just do it without any expectations or concern about the results? If not, what are you expectations or hope for the results? What if you let those go? What then? Do you remember a time when you didn’t have those expectations or hope for those results? How did that feel? What can you do today to let go of your expectations and just let yourself be in the moment? Write down 5 things that bring you joy. Now, set out to do them for the only reason that you should have, because you want to, and because it lets your heart shine. Keep letting it shine, and keep finding your joy.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Nice Lady

There’s a supermarket I frequent in Los Angeles, I typically go in two to three times a week, and most times I walk in there is a security guard I say hello to as I pick up my basket. I always make sure to start my shopping with a hello to him and a smile, and as a result he has dubbed me “nice lady.” Now at some point I know I introduced myself to him but he has stuck with “nice lady” as my name when I walk in the store. It always makes smile. It makes me smile because before I stepped on this path he probably wouldn’t have called me that. Not that I would necessarily be mean to him, but I most likely would have walked right and never made eye contact with him, ignored him, lost in my own thoughts and pit of darkness. I walked around like that for a long time, more than half my life, and it makes me wonder about all the missed opportunities I had to connect with genuine, nice people, people I may have seen regularly, but I would not engage with. I’ve talked about this many times before, how a smile or a hello can possibly change someone’s day, how important kindness is, or just to acknowledge someone is there. We all want to feel like we matter, that we’re being seen and heard, that we are noticed, and it’s easy to forget that others do as well as we go about our busy days with our to-do lists and eyes glued to our phones.

I was out for lunch the other day and there was a sign at the counter that said “we will gladly help you once you finish your phone call.” It didn’t surprise me that this restaurant, a very busy LA lunch spot, felt the need to put up that sign, and it made me sad to think that the cashiers that work there had experienced so many people ignoring them while talking on their phone that they felt a sign was needed. I have to say, the day I was there, there wasn’t a single person in line talking on their phone. Perhaps, people got the hint, or perhaps it was just luck, but it takes very little effort to be kind, to look someone in the eye and say hello, maybe even throw in a smile, or a “how are you?” And I understand there are days when you just don’t feel like connecting with anyone, or reaching out, especially to someone you don’t know, but I can tell you, that’s exactly when you should be reaching out, because that act will get you out of your own head, and your funk, really quickly. When we do something nice for someone else, and stop thinking about ourselves, we get out of our own way, we shift the focus away from us and engage with those around us, and even when we may be reluctant to do so, we still receive the gift of the relief of self, and, you never know, you just might find yourself in an unexpected conversation with a stranger who makes you smile in return.

I didn’t write this blog today to toot my own horn, I wrote it because it’s a reminder to myself how far I’ve come, how far we can all go when we focus our attention out and pay attention to those around us, when we let your true light shine, even when it feels dim, and we share that with someone else. I now look forward to those random or chance encounters, and I look for opportunities to make someone smile, especially when I may be in environment that is busy, or stressful, or there is someone else being unpleasant, I love that challenge, and most of the time I can turn it around, which in turn, makes me smile. It reminds me of Dean Martin singing “When You’re Smiling,” the lyrics, “When you’re smilin’, when you’re smilin,’ the whole world smiles with you, when you’re laughin’, oh when you’re laughin’the sun comes shinin’ through.” Now the whole world doesn’t always smile back at us when we smile, but a lot of it will, and isn’t it better to leave a situation better than how you found it,  rather than to be the cause of the problem? Keep smiling SLAYER!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you make a conscious effort to make contact with people when you are out in your day-to-day life? If yes, why? If not, why not? If you don’t, what do you think will happen if you start? How will this hurt you? How might this help you? How does it make you feel when someone smiles and acknowledges you? Do you see how reaching out to others during the course of your day can help you when you are having a day where you are struggling? I challenge you SLAYER to reach out, especially on days when you don’t feel like it, or you’re in your own head, smile, say hello, ask someone about their day, I guarantee you, you will feel better, and you never know, you may just turn someone else’s day around too. SLAY on!

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you