self-acceptance

Be Your Own Fairy Godmother

Some of us grew up believing someone would swoop in and fix everything. A magical godmother. A rescuer. A sign from the universe that now is the time, that this is the moment our lives change for the better.

But here’s the truth no one tells you as a kid:

The magic wand is already in your hands.

Waiting for someone else to save you keeps you stuck. Hoping for permission to live fully delays your joy. You don’t need a fairy godmother. You just need to believe in your own power to create change, healing, and magic.

You don’t need a transformation. You need a reminder of who you already are.

I Spent Years Waiting for a Rescue

I thought love would save me. Or success. Or finally being “enough.”

I believed that if I kept trying, kept achieving, kept pleasing, eventually someone would say, “You’ve made it. You’re worthy now.”

But that moment never came—because I was looking outside of myself for something only I could give.

It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom that I realized no one was coming to save me. I had to be the one to pull myself out. I had to be the one to say, “Enough. I choose me now.”

It wasn’t a grand, glittery moment. It was quiet. Personal. But it changed everything.

When you stop waiting to be chosen, and choose yourself instead, that’s when the real magic begins.

And that decision? It didn’t come from perfection. It came from truth. From realizing that I deserved better—not someday, but right now.

Create Your Own Magic

We’ve been taught that magic looks like glass slippers and pumpkin carriages. But real magic? It’s setting boundaries. It’s speaking your truth. It’s taking the brave next step—even when your voice shakes.

It’s no longer waiting for someone to tell you that you’re ready. You already are.

It’s recognizing that you are worthy of love, rest, joy, peace, and purpose—without having to earn it.

Magic is found in the everyday moments when you show up for yourself. When you advocate for your well-being. When you care for your spirit. When you speak kindly to your reflection.

Magic is deciding not to abandon yourself again.

It’s building a life that honors your truth, your pace, your values. Not the ones someone else handed you.

You don’t need a crown. You don’t need a costume. You don’t need anyone’s permission.

You’ve had the power all along.

Let this be your reminder: You are the magic. You are the moment. You are the one you’ve been waiting for.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • Where in your life are you waiting for someone to rescue or choose you?
  • What would it look like to choose yourself instead?
  • What’s one area where you can take your power back today?
  • What belief about worth or magic are you ready to release?
  • How can you show up for yourself like someone who truly has your back?

S – L – A – Y

S: See where you’ve been waiting for permission.
L: Listen to what your inner voice truly wants.
A: Act from a place of self-trust, not self-doubt.
Y: Yield to your own magic—it’s been waiting for you.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever realized you were the one you’ve been waiting for?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck waiting to be saved, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Love on a Leash

There’s a kind of love that doesn’t feel like love at all. It looks the part—smiles, sweet words, even grand gestures—but underneath, it’s tethered to expectations, rules, and unspoken conditions. It’s love, but only if. That’s love on a leash.

Love on a leash says: “I’ll love you if you behave a certain way.” Or worse, “I’ll love you when you’re less of this and more of that.” Sometimes, the leash comes from others. But just as often? We hold the leash ourselves.

We believe we must be a specific version of ourselves to be lovable. We shrink. We twist. We contort our identities to avoid rejection, or worse—abandonment. We believe we’re only worthy of love if we’re easy to handle, always agreeable, or constantly achieving.

And over time? That leash tightens. We stop reaching. We stop expressing. We stop showing up as who we really are.

I Know That Leash All Too Well

I’ve felt it—the pull of wanting to be loved so badly that I’d trade my truth for someone else’s comfort. The tension of walking on eggshells just to keep the peace. The guilt that rises when I try to set a boundary, even a healthy one, because I fear I’ll lose the connection if I do.

But here’s what I’ve learned:

Any love that demands you abandon yourself isn’t love. It’s control.

Love shouldn’t feel like a leash. It should feel like a safe place to land.

Real Love Doesn’t Require a Performance

Authentic love sees the real you. It invites all your parts—your fire and your softness, your growth and your mess. It doesn’t flinch at your vulnerability. It honors it.

And the same goes for how we love ourselves.

When we hold ourselves to impossible standards, we put our own hearts on a leash. We tell ourselves we’ll be worthy when we’re thinner, calmer, more successful, more perfect.

But we’re worthy now. We’ve always been.

You don’t have to earn love by becoming someone else. You get to be loved for who you are.

Releasing the Leash

Letting go of love with conditions means facing our fears. It means risking disapproval. It means standing in our truth, even if someone walks away.

But it also means freedom.

It means deeper connection, greater peace, and the kind of joy that only comes from being fully known and still fully accepted.

It starts with you. How you love yourself. How you speak to yourself. What you tolerate—from others and from your own inner voice.

And maybe most importantly? It starts with the unlearning of what love was never supposed to be.

You don’t have to stay tethered. The leash can come off.

And when it does?

You’ll remember: real love doesn’t confine—it expands.

SLAY Reflection

Ask yourself:

  • Have you ever felt like love came with conditions?
  • Who’s holding the leash—someone else, or you?
  • What stories about love and worth are you still carrying?
  • How can you begin showing yourself more unconditional acceptance?
  • What kind of love do you want to give—and receive—from this point forward?

S – L – A – Y

S: Spot the conditions—where do you feel limited in love? L: Let go of outdated beliefs about what makes you lovable.
A: Affirm your worth without needing to prove it.
Y: Yield to relationships that offer real connection—not just compliance.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever experienced love on a leash—and what helped you take it off?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to feel seen for who they truly are, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Release The Need To Judge Yourself Negatively

Why are we always so hard on ourselves?

We hold ourselves to impossible standards, judge our every move, and then wonder why we feel stuck, small, and not good enough.
We speak to ourselves in ways we’d never speak to someone else—calling ourselves idiots, failures, brain-dead, or worse.

And we may not even realize we’re doing it.
That inner dialogue becomes so automatic, so embedded in our thinking, that the jabs feel normal.
But they’re not.
And worse—they’re harmful.

Those words don’t just disappear.
They settle into our energy, into our nervous system, into the way we show up in the world.
And over time, they become the very thing that holds us back from becoming who we are meant to be.

The Judgments That Keep Us Stuck

Before I began my journey in recovery, I judged myself constantly.

Nothing I did was ever “good enough.”
Even when I succeeded, I’d discredit it—call it luck, minimize the achievement, or immediately nitpick what wasn’t perfect.

My expectations were so high, they were built to break me.
And they did. Over and over.

The voice in my head wasn’t just critical—it was cruel.
It kept me sick. It convinced me I’d never be enough. It told me to give up before I even tried.
And I believed it.
I lived inside that mental prison for years.

I’d get these little bursts of self-confidence, moments where I felt like maybe I could do something great.
But the voice always returned—louder, meaner, and more persuasive.
It was a cycle that drained me and kept me from healing.

The Turning Point: Choosing to Get Better

When I finally made the decision to seek help, one of the first things I had to face was my own thinking.

I had to get honest about the way I spoke to myself.
And what I discovered?
I had become my own worst bully.

If anyone else had said the things I said to myself, I never would have stood for it.
So why was I allowing it to happen in my own mind?

That realization changed everything.

I began to:

  • Forgive myself for the judgment
  • Unlearn the habit of self-abuse
  • Practice self-compassion, even when it felt unfamiliar
  • Focus on progress, not perfection

And slowly, something started to shift.
The voice got quieter.
The harsh words faded.
And I started to celebrate myself—for real.

Make Room for Grace

No one gets it right all the time.
We all make mistakes.
We all fall short sometimes.

But that doesn’t mean we’re failures.
It means we’re human.

Mistakes are how we grow.
They help us refine our goals, improve our preparation, and get clearer on what we really want.

And when you set realistic goals—ones that allow for learning, flexibility, and growth—you give yourself a chance to succeed.
Even the smallest win becomes a reason to celebrate.

You Are a Work in Progress (And That’s a Good Thing)

You are not the voice in your head that tells you you’re not enough.
You are not your mistakes.
You are not your worst day.

You are a work in progress—a beautiful, evolving human being.
And your job is not to be perfect.
Your job is to keep going.

So speak to yourself with kindness.
Encourage yourself like you would a best friend.
Celebrate every step, every shift, every bit of progress.

You’re doing better than you think.

SLAY Reflection: How Do You Speak to You?

  1. Do you judge yourself harshly?
    How does that show up in your thoughts or self-talk?
  2. What do you tell yourself when you make a mistake or fall short?
    Would you say the same to someone you love?
  3. How has your inner critic held you back?
    Where would you be if that voice got quieter?
  4. What daily habit could help you be kinder to yourself?
    Affirmations, journaling, gratitude?
  5. What can you do today to encourage and celebrate yourself?
    Start now—pick one thing you’re proud of and name it out loud.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one negative thing you’ve told yourself that you’re ready to replace with kindness?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling with self-judgment, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

The Oops Factor

Growing up, I never left any room for mistakes. I expected myself to do everything perfectly—and when I didn’t, I beat myself up. I carried these unrealistic expectations with me through childhood, my teenage years, and well into adulthood, never giving myself permission to simply be human. The result? A constant negative narrative playing on loop in my head, convincing me I wasn’t good enough. Every mistake felt like proof of failure, which I used as an excuse to abandon self-care, spiral into self-doubt, and reinforce the lie that I could never get better.

I see now that none of that thinking was true. I made it feel true by keeping my struggles to myself and believing the cruelest voices in my mind. I nearly rode that train all the way into the station—but thankfully, I got off before the final stop.

The truth is: our mistakes are where we learn the most. They shape our character. They build the resilience we need to accomplish the things that really matter. No one is meant to get it right every time. The growth is in the slip-ups. That’s why we need to embrace what I call the “Oops Factor.”

What Perfectionism Really Cost Me

Expecting myself to be perfect—even when I knew better—set me up to fail. I’d aim impossibly high and, when I missed the mark (which was inevitable), I’d use that as ammunition to tear myself down. Even when I succeeded, I picked apart the outcome. I never gave myself permission to feel proud. That made relationships harder too. I lived in fear that people would see me for the fraud I thought I was.

Eventually, I reached a breaking point and asked for help. In that process, I learned something life-changing: mistakes are a sign that I’m trying. They mean I’m pushing myself. And even when things don’t work out the way I hoped, there’s always a lesson or a growth opportunity—often the real reason I was on that path in the first place.

Over time, I’ve learned to trust that I’m exactly where I need to be. My job is to take the next right step. I can’t control the outcome—just the intention behind the action. And when I show up with that mindset? It’s always a win. Trying is the victory. There’s always something to gain.

Make Room for the Oops

We’re all allowed to make mistakes. In fact, we should be making them. That’s how we grow.

Start leaving space for the Oops Factor in your life. When something doesn’t go as planned, look for the lesson—or simply laugh it off. Don’t let the fear of messing up keep you from taking risks or being yourself. Let go of the pressure to be perfect and redefine what success looks like. Maybe, just maybe, being exactly who you are today is enough.

Mistakes don’t define you. But how you respond to them just might.

SLAY on!

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you expect yourself to be perfect?
  • How do you usually react when you make a mistake?
  • Does that response help you—or harm you?
  • What’s one belief about mistakes that you’re ready to let go of?
  • What’s one thing you’ve learned from a recent oops moment that helped you grow?

Give yourself permission to stumble. Learn, laugh, and get back up stronger.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can show yourself more grace when you make a mistake?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been stuck in a shame spiral, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a little reminder that it’s okay to mess up.

We Are Not Meant To Be Perfect

I was scrolling through my social feed recently when a post from a friend stopped me in my tracks. She was being hard on herself—and calling herself out for it. That kind of self-awareness is powerful. But it also reminded me just how common it is for us to beat ourselves up for not being perfect.

For most of my life, I felt like I was less than. I believed everyone else had it easier, did it better, or simply was better than me. I didn’t just chase perfection—I punished myself for not catching it. And I know now, that wasn’t living. That was surviving under pressure I created for myself.

But here’s the truth I’ve learned along the way:

We are not meant to be perfect.

The Lie of “Perfection”

Perfection is a moving target. It’s shaped by the media, our upbringing, our culture—and our own inner critic. What’s “perfect” to one person might feel totally wrong to someone else. And yet, we often use it as a ruler to measure our worth.

I used to think if I could just do everything right—look right, act right, succeed right—then I’d finally feel good about myself. But chasing perfection only left me feeling more broken. I saw my mistakes as failures instead of lessons. I saw my body as wrong because it didn’t match an airbrushed image I was never meant to emulate.

The beauty and fashion industries thrive on this illusion. As someone who has worked in that world, I can tell you firsthand: most of what you see has been digitally altered. The people in the photos don’t even look like that in real life. So why are we holding ourselves to impossible standards?

Your Imperfection Is Your Power

True growth happens in the mess. We learn through failure. We build strength through struggle. We connect through our flaws—not despite them, but because of them. And when we stop trying to be perfect, we start learning how to be authentic. That’s when the real magic begins.

What if you let go of the map you were handed and created your own version of “perfect”?
What if your quirks, your softness, your scars—what if those were the most beautiful parts of you?

They are.

When you love the things you can’t change—and commit to working on the things you can—you stop being at war with yourself. You start building a life you actually want to live.

Celebrate Who You Are

We’re all meant to be different. To stand out. To evolve.
So what if instead of chasing the illusion of perfection, you embraced the truth of who you are right now? What if you stopped waiting to feel worthy—and decided you already are?

That’s not weakness. That’s power. And it’s yours to claim.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

Are you chasing an idea of perfection that’s keeping you from loving who you are today?

  • What does “perfect” mean to you—and where did that definition come from?

  • Do you speak kindly to yourself when you fall short, or do you criticize?

  • What parts of yourself do you struggle to accept? Can you reframe them with love?

  • What makes you uniquely you?

  • How can you start celebrating your journey instead of comparing it?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one way you can let go of perfection and embrace who you are right now?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been beating themselves up for not being perfect, send this to them.
Sometimes, the reminder we need most is that we’re enough—just as we are.

A Little Honesty Goes A Long Way

Coming from a life of hiding my truth, living in fear of being found out, and wanting to appear to be more than I was, I understand dishonesty. I lived a dishonest life, even from myself, so how could I be honest with others? I lied even when I didn’t need to, unaware of the weight of those lies. My life became a tangled web until I couldn’t keep track of it all, and the only truth left was that everything was unmanageable, and I had fallen so far into darkness I wasn’t sure I could find my way out.

Thankfully, someone came into my life and shared his honesty with me. That act gave me hope.

When I began walking the path of recovery, I had to learn to be honest, starting with myself. I had to stop believing the lies that kept me sick and face the truth. I had to get rigorously honest if I wanted to build a new life from the foundation up. That foundation had to be honesty. So, I rolled up my sleeves and got to work.

Facing the truth wasn’t always easy. It meant looking at my past actions, what I’d said, the harm I’d done to myself and others. My lies always pointed fingers outward, but the truth—the honest truth—was that I played a role in my pain and chaos. Letting go of my fear of judgment, I began to speak my truth. Even though my head told me not to, I charged ahead anyway. And on the other end of that honesty, I found support. People didn’t reject me or push me away—they offered their hand, their understanding, and their ear. As I shared my truth, my guilt, anger, and fear started to melt away.

I was taught, and continue to learn, to be honest about my intentions, my time, and what I am truly willing and able to contribute. It was scary at first, but as I practiced it, the results were always better. That doesn’t mean there weren’t disappointments or frustrations, but they were far fewer than when I was saying what I thought others wanted to hear.

The truth is, most people want the truth—not some made-up story to save face. Being honest shows not only respect for yourself but also for others. It shows vulnerability and opens the door for collaboration, understanding, and solutions we might not have found on our own. When we are honest, we have nothing to hide. And when we’re not spending our energy hiding, we are free.

Sometimes, we enter situations with the best intentions and realize the reality doesn’t match. Instead of pretending or keeping up appearances, try being honest. You may find that instead of working against you, others will work with you toward a solution. Even if things don’t go the way you hoped, the act of being honest itself is a win because you are speaking your truth, instead of pretending to be something—or someone—you’re not.

Be honest about who you are, what you can offer, and what you can truly give. As they say, the truth will set you free. And that freedom? It’s all in your hands.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Rise

  • Do you tend to be honest with others? If not, why?

  • Are you honest with yourself? If not, why not?

  • Has dishonesty caused you trouble in the past? How might things have changed if you’d been honest?

  • What can you do today to be more honest, with yourself and others?

  • Are you afraid of honesty? Why?

  • How can you begin letting go of fear and speak your truth?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one truth you’re ready to speak today—about yourself or to someone else?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone struggling to be honest with themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to tell the truth.

You Don’t Have To Be Perfect, You Just Have To Be

I used to believe I had to be perfect to show up.

Perfect timing. Perfect skills. Perfect hair, even. And if things didn’t line up just right—if I didn’t line up just right—I’d sit it out. I’d pass on the opportunity. I’d talk myself out of the dream. Looking back, I can’t count the chances I missed because I let perfectionism run the show.

But perfection is a lie we tell ourselves when we’re scared.

It gives us a reason to wait, to hide, to stay small. We convince ourselves we’re not ready, not worthy, not enough—so we don’t begin. But here’s the truth: Perfection is not required. Showing up is.

It’s Never Going to Look Perfect—Do It Anyway

No one has it all figured out. No plan is bulletproof. No path is paved just right. Life is messy, and we’re messy too.

The trick is to move forward anyway.

Start with what you’ve got. Doubt? Bring it. Fear? Take it with you. Confusion? Totally normal. You don’t need to wait for the moment to be perfect—you just need to be brave enough to begin.

It reminds me of being a kid on the playground, standing in front of a merry-go-round already spinning. I’d spot my opening, take a breath, and jump. Was it scary? Sure. But it was also thrilling. I didn’t need a guarantee—I just needed to go for it.

So why do we stop doing that?

Because we’ve fallen. We’ve been judged. We’ve been told to wait until we’re “ready.” But the only way to be ready is to start anyway.

Flaws and All, You’re Already Enough

Let me say this loud for the people in the back:

You are already worthy of showing up.

You don’t have to be “fixed” or “perfect” or polished to begin. The real magic happens when you show up as you are. That’s what makes you relatable. That’s what makes you real.

You are perfect in your imperfection. Unique. Valuable. Needed.

And when you let go of chasing perfect, something incredible happens—you start living. You stop waiting. You begin to believe in what’s possible for you.

So whatever it is you’ve been putting off—start it. Show up. Say yes. Jump in. Your life isn’t waiting for perfect. It’s waiting for you.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What’s one thing you’ve avoided because you were waiting for the “perfect” moment?
  2. How has perfectionism kept you from living fully?
  3. What would it feel like to show up just as you are?
  4. What’s one small step you can take this week toward something you’ve been putting off?
  5. Can you write down 5 things that make you uniquely you—and remind yourself why they matter?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Start without needing it to be perfect.
  • Listen to your inner voice—not your inner critic.
  • Accept yourself as you are, flaws and all.
  • You are the magic you’ve been waiting for.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What have you been putting off because it wasn’t perfect?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck waiting for the “right time,” send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.