For a long time, my entire life was a secret.
I hid what I was thinking.
I hid what I was doing.
I hid how I was really feeling.
I carried shame, confusion, and anger quietly, convincing myself that keeping everything inside was somehow safer than letting anyone see the truth. I believed secrecy gave me control.
Instead, it made me sick.
Very sick.
And the hardest truth to accept was this:
I was the one holding myself there.
The Illusion of Control That Secrets Create
When we keep secrets, it often feels like protection.
We tell ourselves we’re avoiding judgment.
We think we’re sparing others.
We believe silence keeps us in control.
But secrets don’t protect us — they isolate us.
They keep us from asking for help.
They keep us from being known.
They keep us trapped in our own minds.
I believed that if no one knew, I could manage it on my own. But what I was really doing was cutting myself off from the very things that could have helped me heal.
The Moment the Truth Lost Its Power
Everything changed the first time I asked for help.
The first time I said out loud what I had been hiding.
That’s when I heard a phrase that landed like a weight in my chest:
“You’re only as sick as your secrets.”
It was devastating — and freeing — all at once.
Because suddenly, I could see how much suffering I had endured not because of what I’d done, but because I refused to speak it. The moment I shared my truth, it lost its grip on me.
There was nothing left to hide.
And in that openness, I found freedom.
Shame Thrives in Silence
Secrets feed shame.
They whisper that we are bad people.
That we’re unlovable.
That no one would understand.
But shame lies.
There is nothing you’ve done that someone else hasn’t already done, felt, or survived. We like to believe our pain makes us uniquely broken — but the truth is, our experiences connect us far more than they separate us.
When we share our truth, what we usually meet is not punishment — but understanding. Compassion. Connection.
And sometimes, in telling our story, we give someone else permission to tell theirs.
Why I’m Not Afraid to Share My Story
People often ask me if I’m afraid to share my truth publicly.
Do I worry about judgment?
Do I fear what people might think?
And the answer is no.
Because the people who matter most in my life already know my story — the broad strokes, the truth of where I’ve been and who I am now. I told them years ago, and in doing so, I was released from the bondage of my past.
I own my story.
I own my choices.
And I also know I am no longer that person.
There is power in that clarity — far more power than silence ever gave me.
Secrecy Makes Us Vulnerable Honesty Makes Us Safe
The kind of “power” secrets give us is false.
It feels like control, but it actually leaves us exposed — to ourselves, to our darkness, and sometimes to people who would exploit what we hide.
Honesty removes that leverage.
When you are open, there is nothing to hold over you. No threat. No fear of being found out. You get to stand in truth instead of hiding behind it.
And that truth doesn’t just heal you — it protects you.
Sharing Your Truth Builds Real Connection
Being honest about where we’ve come from allows people to understand us more fully.
It deepens relationships.
It opens communication.
It builds trust.
Sometimes it also keeps us physically or emotionally safe — especially when others need to understand our boundaries, our triggers, or the reasons we must protect ourselves from certain people or situations.
Your truth gives context to your needs.
And context invites compassion.
Freedom Lives on the Other Side of Secrecy
At the end of the day, you hold the key to your freedom.
Keeping secrets you believe are “unshareable” doesn’t protect you — it imprisons you. It keeps you from intimacy, from support, and from fully living your life.
You don’t have to tell everyone everything.
But you do need to tell someone.
Because secrecy keeps pain alive — and truth allows it to heal.
You are only as sick as your secrets.
Don’t let them own you.
SLAY Reflection
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: Are there parts of your life or past you’ve never shared with anyone?
L: What fears keep you holding those secrets?
A: What do you believe would happen if you spoke your truth out loud?
Y: How might your life change if you chose honesty over hiding?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
Have you ever experienced freedom after sharing something you thought you had to hide?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone who’s carrying secrets that are weighing them down, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
