ignite

Your Life Doesn’t Get Any Better By Chance, It Gets Better By Change

What’s the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing and expecting different results? That was me, for most of my life. I wasn’t happy with the results I was getting but I didn’t do anything differently to change them. I certainly hoped they would changed, and wished for them to change, but without taking different action there was really no hope at all that they would. The only way change happens is if we take action and make changes.

Change takes work. It takes risks. It takes us getting out of our comfort zones and doing something we’re not used to doing, maybe something we may not believe we can. But we can. We just have to do it. Those voices we hear may tell us we can’t, but we can. For me I had to hit a pretty hard bottom before I made the changes I needed to make. I was one stubborn gal and even though I didn’t like where I was and how I was living my life, I thought I could just wish it away, and not only did it not go away, it got worse. So for me, it took my life being in jeopardy to finally make some changes. You don’t need to wait quite that long, in fact, you can start right now!

It can be scary to start something new, or try a new way of life, but it’s typically just scary at the beginning, those first few steps, and once you’ve taken them you feel it’s right and taking the next few steps becomes less scary because you’ve already taken some, and it’s already feeling good. For me, I made sure to surround myself with others doing the same, and those people already in my life who supported me and cheered me on, it helped to have a cheering section and a group of people doing it with me, so even when things may not have gone as planned, there were always people there to encourage to keep trying, and that’s the key, just keep trying, each step isn’t always going to go the way you would have liked, and it’s those steps that we typically learn the most, they may sting in the moment, but that sting will help us grow, and, hopefully ignite the fire in us to try again.

Nothing changes if nothing changes. It’s that simple. In fact, in my case, and in others as well I’ve spoken to, when nothing changes, a lot of times, things actually get worse. The universe has a way to pushing us in the right direction, and if we’re not taking the hint, those nudges can sometimes feel more like a push, there’s a reason for that, we’re not supposed to be where we are. Take those cues, those hints, and look at your life and what you may not be changing, or taking action on, look at what may not serve you, and maybe never did, but you convinced yourself it did. Be honest with yourself SLAYER, and truly look for those areas that need change, that you can take action on and take it. Don’t even think about it, just take it, trust that you’re being directed where you should be and take the leap, we’re all here to catch you if you stumble.

Wishing for the life we want without doing the work doesn’t work. We have to roll up our sleeves and get to work, once we do we see that things start to fall into place, there may be a few bumps in the road, but those bumps don’t come close to the despair of staying somewhere we shouldn’t be. Trust that you have what it takes to get what you want, what you’ve imagined for yourself, go take it, and you may just find that you’ve made your own chances and a life that you once only dreamed of.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you take action when things don’t feel right, or hope they just get better on their own? What in your life could you take action on but haven’t? Why haven’t you? How long have you lived in this place and not take action? How does that feel? What can you do, SLAYER, to take action in that area of your life? Are you afraid? What are you frightened of? Does not taking action and staying stuck where you are bring you even more fear? It should. We are not meant to stay in one place, we are meant to learn, grow, explore, and challenge ourselves, get out there and go after what we want, make the changes we need to have the life we want, the life, up until now, we’ve only dreamed of. Make those dreams a reality, one change at a time.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you

Explosion In Reverse

I was with a group of people the other day and someone said, “watching you get better was like watching an explosion in reverse.” It made me laugh, but then when I thought about it, it was the perfect analogy. I myself had certainly imploded years ago, and even after the implosion I still went on for years before seeking help.  It’s like all of the good parts of me, my heart, my soul, had blown away in an explosion and yet I kept on going, an empty vessel propelling itself forward, until it just couldn’t anymore. All of my pieces had blown away and there was nothing left but a shell. Imagining myself, and all those pieces coming back to together is a beautiful image. I like to think they came back in a different order, or arrangement then they weren’t in before, and, perhaps, picked up some new ones, better ones, along the way. But that statement got me thinking about what happens to us as we break down, as we lose parts of ourselves as we slowly, or with one big bang, explode from the inside out.

I’ve talked a lot about feeling empty and hollow, and that I’ve seen pictures of myself from that period of time in my life and have not recognized the person in the picture as me. Not only were all the good pieces gone, but my light had completely gone out, just leaving the darkness, and a deadness in my eyes. The first time it happened it scared me, it scared me to look at that woman and know that had been me, that woman looked like the walking dead, and the part of her that was still walking was wishing she was dead. I tell you this because that’s how far down I had fallen, I had reached a place where there wasn’t much left, and there wasn’t much to lose, but even when you’ve fallen that far down I can tell you, you can still climb back up, and, find those pieces you lost again.

I think about an actual explosion, that there is that moment where something ignites and boom! So when I think about an explosion in reverse, of ourselves, coming back to together, I think there is a boom and eventually, and ignition, that is when our light comes back on, when all those pieces we’ve lost come hurling back together, boom! There we are. It can be hard to muster the energy needed to pull off an explosion in reverse, I know for me, there were many days I didn’t think I had it in me, but I would rally my energy, and I would surround myself with others who had done it, or where doing it, so when I felt I couldn’t do it I used their energy, their light, to gather strength, to find the light within them to light my path until I had enough of my own to create my own explosion, the one that put me back to together.

I never want to forget that woman with dead eyes, that woman who stares back at me sometimes from old photographs, as hard as it is sometimes to look at her, I never want to forget her pain because if I do, and I forget that she still lives inside of me, I may forget why I work as hard as I do to keep her safe, to keep me safe from an explosion that could blow all my pieces away again.

SLAY OF THE DAY: When you think about yourself, do you feel like there are pieces of you that you’ve lost? What parts? How do you think you lost them? How can you get them back? Do you see a moment, or a time in your life, that you feel like you blew apart? What has been the result of that? What parts have you managed to recover? What are you still looking for? Find those parts SLAYER. For me it took different things, a lot of support from others, it took counseling, a lot of journaling, sharing my story with others, allowing others in, letting them love and support me, and learning to love myself. It didn’t happen overnight, but it did happen, a beautiful explosion in reverse. Let yourself go boom SLAYER, and come back to together.

S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you