I know what you’re thinking — why would I say thank you for something I didn’t want?
Why would I be grateful for disappointment?
For loss?
For situations that didn’t go my way?
For things that hurt, frustrated me, or felt unfair?
For a long time, I wouldn’t have.
I used to divide my life into simple categories:
good if it benefited me,
bad if it didn’t.
If I got what I wanted, it was positive.
If I didn’t, it was negative.
But life has a way of teaching you that those labels don’t actually hold much truth.
Learning to See Differently
Over time, I started noticing something about myself.
When something didn’t go my way, I could choose to sit in frustration…
or I could choose to look for the lesson.
And almost every single time, there was one.
Sometimes the lesson was about me —
that I needed to prepare better,
ask better questions,
set clearer expectations,
communicate more honestly,
or let go of control.
Sometimes the lesson was about other people —
their limits,
their patterns,
their boundaries,
their capacity.
Sometimes the lesson was simply learning humility.
Learning grace.
Learning patience.
Learning acceptance.
None of those situations felt good in the moment —
but every single one shaped me.
Gratitude Wasn’t Natural for Me — It Was Learned
This wasn’t something that came naturally.
I had to practice it.
I had to stop immediately labeling things as “bad”
and start asking myself:
What can I learn from this?
What is this teaching me?
What is this showing me about myself?
How can this help me grow next time?
When I started doing that, something shifted internally.
I stopped feeling like life was happening to me
and started feeling like life was working for me.
Even when it didn’t feel good.
The Shift From Resentment to Grace
I realized how easy it is to live in bitterness when things don’t go our way.
It’s easy to feel wronged.
To feel blocked.
To feel unlucky.
To feel like life is unfair.
I’ve lived there.
But when I started practicing gratitude — not just for what felt good, but for what taught me — I felt a shift from poor me to fortunate me.
Not because everything was perfect.
Not because everything worked out.
But because everything had meaning.
Everything had purpose.
Everything carried information.
Everything offered growth.
This Is What Living in Grace Looks Like for Me
Living in grace doesn’t mean pretending things don’t hurt.
It doesn’t mean bypassing emotion.
It doesn’t mean spiritualizing pain.
It doesn’t mean toxic positivity.
It means choosing perspective.
Choosing to look for learning instead of loss.
Choosing growth instead of bitterness.
Choosing awareness instead of blame.
For me, this is what living in a State Of Slay™ actually means.
Not controlling life —
but trusting it.
Not resisting experiences —
but extracting wisdom from them.
Why I Say Thank You Anyway
I say thank you because I grew.
Because I learned.
Because I became wiser.
Because I became more aware.
Because I became more grounded.
Not because I liked it.
Not because it felt good.
Not because it was easy.
But because it shaped me.
Every experience becomes a teacher when I let it.
Choosing Gratitude Changes Everything
When I look for the good, I find the good.
When I look for the lesson, I grow.
When I choose gratitude, I create peace.
This doesn’t mean I’m perfect at it.
This doesn’t mean I never get frustrated.
This doesn’t mean I don’t feel disappointed.
But I live here more often than not — and that’s enough to change everything.
Say Thank You, Even If You Don’t Like It
Say thank you for the lesson.
Say thank you for the clarity.
Say thank you for the redirection.
Say thank you for the growth.
Say thank you for the wisdom.
Even when you didn’t want it.
Even when it hurt.
Even when it felt unfair.
Be grateful.
Learn.
Grow.
Find the good.
Create the good.
Be the good.
SLAY Reflection
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: What situations in your life do you still label as “bad”?
L: What might those experiences have taught you that you’ve overlooked?
A: How would your mindset shift if you practiced gratitude instead of resentment?
Y: What is one experience you can say thank you for today — even if you didn’t like it?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s something in your life you didn’t want — but ended up learning from?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone stuck in bitterness or disappointment, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
