anxiety relief

The Boogeyman Only Lives in the Dark

Fear has a way of creeping in when the lights are out—both literally and metaphorically. When we’re uncertain, overwhelmed, or vulnerable, our minds can convince us that the shadows hold monsters. And when we avoid shining a light on those fears—when we stuff them down, pretend they don’t exist, or try to outrun them—they only grow bigger, louder, and harder to face.

The truth? Fear feeds on silence and secrecy. When we leave it unchecked, it multiplies in the darkness of our minds. But when we turn on the light—through awareness, honesty, and courage—fear begins to shrink.

So if you think there’s a boogeyman around, it’s time to stop hiding under the covers. Flip the switch. Call it out. See it for what it is.

Darkness Is the Breeding Ground for Fear

Think about the last time you were afraid of something—really afraid. Chances are, it wasn’t the thing itself that scared you most. It was not knowing.

Not knowing what someone thought of you.
Not knowing how a situation would turn out.
Not knowing if you could survive the pain you were in.

The unknown is where fear lives. And the more we let our imagination run wild in that dark space, the more terrifying the “boogeyman” becomes.

But here’s the thing: most fears, when brought into the light, lose their power. Naming your fear is the first step in shrinking it. It’s not the monster under the bed—it’s your anxiety about failing, being rejected, or not being enough. Once you see it clearly, you can deal with it.

Shine the Light of Truth

When we start to shine a light on fear, it doesn’t mean the fear disappears overnight. But it does mean we stop letting it run the show.

For me, facing my fears meant getting rigorously honest with myself. I had to admit where I was scared and why. Sometimes it was rooted in old wounds or trauma. Sometimes it was tied to lies I had told myself for years. And sometimes, it was just the unknown of stepping into a new chapter.

The more light I brought in—the more I talked about my fears, wrote about them, or even prayed about them—the less they controlled me.

Fear thrives in the dark. Truth thrives in the light.

The Boogeyman Is Rarely What You Think

Most of the time, the “boogeyman” isn’t nearly as scary as we’ve built it up to be.

Maybe the conversation you’ve been avoiding brings clarity instead of rejection.
Maybe the risk you’ve been afraid to take opens a door you never thought possible.
Maybe the pain you’re carrying becomes lighter when you finally share it.

Fear wants you to stay in the dark. But your healing requires the light.

Flip the Switch

So how do you “turn on the light” when fear is looming?

  • Name it. Write down exactly what you’re afraid of. No filters.
  • Share it. Talk to someone you trust. Speaking fear out loud weakens it.
  • Challenge it. Ask yourself: is this fear based in fact, or in old stories?
  • Take one small action. Even the smallest step forward shines light into the dark.

The boogeyman can’t survive in the light.

So next time you feel fear creeping in, don’t stay stuck in the dark. Reach for the switch. Bring it into the open. Remind yourself: you are braver than the shadows.

SLAY Reflection

  1. What fear have you been keeping in the dark?
  2. How does avoiding it give it more power?
  3. What would shining a light on it look like for you?
  4. Can you trace your fear back to old wounds or beliefs?
  5. What’s one small action you can take today to face it?

S – Stop letting fear grow in silence
L – Let the light of truth guide you
A – Acknowledge your fears instead of hiding them
Y – Yield to courage, not the shadows

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What fear did you finally bring into the light—and how did it change things for you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s hiding from their “boogeyman,” send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a light to remind us we’re not alone.

Today I Will Not Stress Over Things I Cannot Control

Easier said than done, right?
Especially now.
It feels like everything—from the world at large to our daily lives—is spiraling beyond our control.

And it’s true: most of life really is outside of our hands.
No matter how hard we try to will something into existence or change an outcome, some things just are.
But here’s the truth I’ve come to live by:
I may not be able to control what happens around me—but I can control how I respond to it.
And that’s where the power is.

The Illusion of Control

When I was living in the dark, I was consumed by control.
Trying to manage everything and everyone.
Manipulating, bargaining, obsessing—believing that if I could just control the situation, I could finally feel safe.

But no matter how hard I tried, life had other plans.
It didn’t care how hard I worked to bend it to my will.
And I exhausted myself trying.

The more I tried to control, the more unmanageable everything became.
It didn’t just wear me out—it wore me down.
My mental health suffered.
My self-worth took a hit.
And I lost myself in the process.

Letting Go Was the Turning Point

When I finally made the decision to change my life, I was told something that made me flinch:
“You have to accept that you can’t control everything.”

That one sentence lit up every fear I had.
I didn’t want to hear it.
But I needed to.

Because as terrifying as letting go felt, holding on was doing more damage.

So I started small.
I worked on myself.
I practiced gratitude.
I focused on the good.
And I gave back where I could.

Slowly, the need to control started to loosen its grip.
And I began to feel something I hadn’t felt in a long time: peace.

The Freedom in Acceptance

Letting go doesn’t mean giving up.
It means accepting reality as it is—and choosing to move forward anyway.
It means doing what you can, where you are, with what you have.

It means focusing on your choices, your behavior, your energy—not the chaos around you.

And when you feel that old need for control creeping in?
Put the focus back on yourself.
Or do something kind for someone else.
It’s a powerful reset.

Because the truth is, trying to control what’s out of your hands only ends up controlling you.

What I Can Do Today

There are still plenty of things I can’t control—and many of them deeply disturb me.
But I’ve learned that obsessing over what I can’t change doesn’t help.

What does help?
Doing what I can.

I show up for myself.
I show up for others.
I make better choices.
And I leave the rest.

Because acceptance isn’t giving up—it’s breaking free.

SLAY Reflection: Where Are You Holding On Too Tight?

  1. Do you stress over things that are out of your control?
    What are they—and how do they affect your peace?

  2. How has your need for control shaped your relationships, habits, or mental health?
    What patterns do you see?

  3. What’s one area of your life where you could let go a little more today?
    How would that feel?

  4. What are you really afraid of when you try to control everything?
    Is it fear of failure? Rejection? Uncertainty?

  5. What would shift if you focused on your response, rather than the outcome?
    Where can you put your energy to use in a healthier way?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one thing you’re ready to stop stressing over because you’ve realized it’s out of your control?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s stuck in the loop of control and frustration, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Patience Is To Sit In Your Suffering

Patience is a skill I never had when I was living in the dark. I wanted what I wanted—and I wanted it now. If something took longer than I thought it should, I unraveled. I’d stew in my own anxiety, convinced that worrying over it somehow meant I was “doing something.” But it never helped. In fact, it only made things worse.

The reality is, I was causing myself more pain by holding on.

Suffering Is Optional (But It Doesn’t Feel That Way)

When I started my journey toward healing, I had to face a hard truth: patience isn’t passive. It’s active. It’s powerful. It’s choosing to sit still when every part of you wants to control, manipulate, and fast-forward the process.

I was taught something simple, yet profound—do the footwork and let go. And actually let go. Not say I would, then sit in agony while pretending to surrender. That took time. It still does. But every time I allowed myself to sit in discomfort, without reacting, something shifted.

Here’s what I learned: the suffering didn’t come from the waiting—it came from the clinging.

Letting Go of the Illusion of Control

So much of my anxiety came from the belief that I had to manage everything. I believed I had the best plan, the right answers, and the perfect timeline. But that was just my ego talking. And when I realized how wrong I’d been before—how lost and broken I felt trying to run the show—it humbled me.

I had to accept that I wasn’t the director of the universe. That my vision was limited. That maybe—just maybe—there was a bigger plan unfolding, and my job was to participate, not dictate.

That’s where the power of patience lives. Not in forcing, but in trusting. Not in pushing, but in practicing peace. And the more I practiced, the less I suffered.

Choosing Peace Over Pressure

Let’s be honest—letting go is not easy. Especially when we care deeply about the outcome. But once we start to realize that the suffering is self-inflicted—that it’s not coming from the waiting, but how we wait—it becomes easier to breathe through it.

The truth is, when we choose to surrender, we reclaim our power.

Patience doesn’t mean inaction. It means taking the action that’s yours, and then releasing what isn’t. It means being OK with not knowing, trusting that the right things will unfold in the right time. That may feel uncomfortable at first. But comfort isn’t the goal—freedom is.

And freedom comes when we stop clinging to control and let go of the suffering we’ve been dragging around.

SLAY on.

SLAY OF THE DAY: Reflect & Release

  • Do you try to force outcomes instead of letting things unfold?

  • What’s the cost of that tension—emotionally, mentally, physically?

  • How do you feel when you’re able to truly let go?

  • What fear is keeping you in the suffering?

  • What step can you take today to release control and choose peace?

Suffering shows us where we’re clinging. Let it be your invitation to let go.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one area of your life where you’re holding on instead of letting go?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s struggling to sit in the waiting, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is permission to pause.

Breathe Louder Than Your Thoughts

Breath is the one thing we all have access to—and yet, it’s the first thing we forget when life gets loud. But here’s the truth: your breath is more powerful than your panic. More steady than your stress. More faithful than your fear.

It was yoga that first taught me to really breathe. To use my inhale as an anchor and my exhale as a release. Over time, I realized something deeper: the sound of my breath could drown out the noise in my head.

Silence Isn’t Empty—It’s Full of Truth

I used to run from silence. I filled every quiet space with background noise—TV, music, podcasts—because when things got quiet, my thoughts got louder. And let me tell you, those thoughts weren’t kind.

But here’s what I didn’t know back then: avoiding the silence meant avoiding myself. I couldn’t hear my needs, my pain, or my intuition because I was drowning them out. It took time, intention, and practice to sit in silence and just breathe.

Now? Silence is my sanctuary. It reminds me I’m here. I’m alive. I’m present. My breath is the proof.

Shallow Breath, Shaky Ground

When I’m stressed, scared, or angry, I don’t always notice my breath at first. But then the chaos comes rushing in—racing thoughts, old triggers, worst-case scenarios. Shallow breathing invites old versions of me back in: the reactive one, the revengeful one, the version I’ve worked hard to outgrow.

That woman lives in my short breath. So I take a deep inhale and send her packing. I breathe in the present. I exhale the past. Because the woman I am today lives in my deep breath.

Let Breath Lead the Way

When things feel hard, when fear gets loud, when you’re tempted to run or lash out—pause. Breathe.

Your thoughts may scream. Your fears may shout. But your breath? Your breath will always whisper, “You’re safe. You’re here. You’ve got this.”

As SLAYERS, we don’t run. We breathe. We root down. We move forward with intention. Even when we’re scared. Especially when we’re scared.

Breath Is Power. Use It.

Next time you find yourself spiraling, check in with your breath. Are you breathing shallow and fast? If so, pause. Place your hand on your belly. Breathe in for four counts. Hold for two. Breathe out for four.

Do it again.

And again.

Let your breath get louder than your thoughts. Let it lead you back to the truth. You are not your fear. You are not your panic. You are not your past.

You are here. You are present. And you are powerful.

So breathe in, power up, and SLAY on.

SLAY Reflection

  1. Do you notice your breath change when you’re stressed or overwhelmed?
  2. What happens to your thoughts when you take deep, intentional breaths?
  3. How do you typically react when fear gets loud?
  4. What calming practices help bring you back to yourself?
  5. What would it look like to let your breath guide your next step?

S-L-A-Y:

  • Stop and notice your breath.
  • Listen to what it’s telling you.
  • Act with intention from a grounded place.
  • You hold the power to shift your state with a single inhale.

Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What helps you breathe through the noise when life gets loud?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s been feeling overwhelmed lately, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a breath—and a reminder.