This is a tall order! My goodness, there is so much out there, most things in fact, that we have no control over. It seems, during these times, that our lives, and much of the world, are completely out of control. I know for myself, there are many things I cannot control, and no matter how much I try to will them to happen or change, they just refuse to. I can choose to drive myself crazy trying to control the uncontrollable, or, I focus on what I can control, my reaction to all of those things. That is the one thing we can control, how we choose to react to the uncontrollable world around us, and that is where we take our power back.
When I was living in the dark I spent a lot of energy trying to control people, places and things. I would tire myself out trying to manipulate, bargain with and outsmart life, but no matter how hard I tried, or how sneaky I thought I was, life just kept on doing it’s thing, not caring at all what I wanted or how hard I had worked to change the outcome of the way things were. The mindset of control drove me to many unhealthy habits and ultimately to harm myself. It also caused me a lot of anxiety and frustration which chipped away at my mental health. Looking back it seems foolish to have thought that I could control the uncontrollable, but I spent many years of my life trying to do just that.
When I made a commitment to change my life and get better, I was told I had to accept that I could not control what was around me. Even that statement gave me anxiety, and those negative voices in my head screamed, “but wait, we can’t do that,” but I could, and I did. It took time, but the more I focused on myself, making better choices, choosing to focus on the positive, living in gratitude and giving back where I could, the need for control started to fade away. I had more than enough to do working on myself and when I was disturbed by something and felt like I should try to control it, I put the focus back on me or helping someone else. As I began to loosen my grip I felt less anxiety and found myself to be a much happier person, I also began to be more forgiving of myself, to do the best I could every day, but not beat myself up if I stumbled, accepting that the little trips where a part of my journey and growth.
Today there are a lot of things that are out of my control, many of which I do not like, but I know that fixating on them and trying to control the uncontrollable will only make a challenging time unbearable. Acceptance is my freedom and only I hold the key to that door. I do what I can each day and leave what I cannot change and focus on what I can do to leave a positive mark on these challenging times. Don’t stress over what you can’t control, or it will control you. SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you stress over things you can’t control? Like what? How does that affect your life? How has it controlled your life? What can you do to stop that from happening? What disturbs you the most today? How much of that is in your control? What can you do today to let go of your need to control? Why do you think you have to control things? What are you afraid of? Most of life is out of our control, but what we can control is our reaction to it, when we let go of our need to control we set ourselves free. Focus on what you can control, do what you can each day to better yourself and your community and give up your need for control.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you