When I was living in the dark I would look for outside things to try to create some light. Whether it was buying something new, planning a trip or finding something, anything, to escape the daily mental turmoil I was going through, I was constantly trying to find a quick outside fix to solve an internal problem. I would be heard saying often that I needed to find something to look forward to, never wanting to live in the moment of where I was because it was easier to try to distract myself than deal with the problem itself, but, and each time I did that, the problem just got stronger. Being in denial and fear of what I might have face if I stayed present and in the current moment, or day, I kept placing things ahead of me to look forward to and then would count down the days to that thing or event. It wasn’t until I finally found myself in paralyzing fear of where my denial and distractions had taken me that I finally stopped and humbly asked for help.
Even in my recovery it became all about looking forward to milestones, and as it was great to have goals to work toward, I had to make a conscious effort to stay present and make better choices for myself one moment at a time. Each day was important to my daily recovery, and I had to use each day to it’s fullest and learn healthy ways to mark increments of time, and, stay present, even if it was uncomfortable to do so. When I felt lost, or overwhelmed, I was encouraged to reach out to someone else and ask them about themselves. At first I didn’t really understand why it was suggested I do that, but when uncomfortableness got to be too much I picked up the phone to give it a try, and, lo and behold, it worked! Reaching out to someone else got me out of my own head and gave me an opportunity to find compassion for someone else and form a connection, and it did each time I did it had the same result. From there I was encouraged to help others, to share my story and to support others on their journey, which helped me on mine. As I began to do that more often my days began to count more, and the more I focused on how I could be of service to others my days counted even more, it gave my days value that they had never had, and it them a purpose. Instead of living a life in isolation, as I used to, I was living a life, actually living it, engaging with others, trying new things, and, getting better, and before I knew it, those days turned into months, and then years, but each one of the days in between have counted and brought me right to where I am today.
It’s easy to surf off into the future in our minds and wish for what we don’t have, or wait for something that’s coming, but when we do we miss out on what’s right here and now, and even though we may not place much value on what we have, it’s value becomes apparent when we focus on making each day count. How can you make your day count today? SLAY on!
SLAY OF THE DAY: Do you often look to get out of the present day by looking at the days ahead? Why do you do this? How do you do this? How does this help you? How does this hurt you? How have you, or do you, try to escape the day ahead? What do you use to get out, or stay out, of the present? What can you do to get yourself back to the present? How can you make today count? What do you have to offer that may make someone else’s day better or brighter? What if you just made a phone call to ask someone how their day was going without starting the conversation by unloading yours? Just the act of taking interest in someone else other than yourself gives your day for meaning, and, can bring some perspective of what may be weighing you down or troubling you. Everyone we encounter can bring us insight into our own lives as we may do the same for them. We are all connected and walk through each individual journey with many alongside us, so why not invite them in and share what you have and allow them to do the same. You’ll be amazed how each day begins to count and you stop counting those days when each day is filled with value.
S – self L – love A – appreciate Y – you