There was a time when I believed avoidance was survival.
If something hurt, I distracted myself. If something scared me, I delayed it. If something overwhelmed me, I convinced myself it would pass on its own.
Sometimes it did.
But most of the time, it waited.
And eventually, whatever I was avoiding showed up again. Usually louder. Usually heavier. Usually, at a time when I felt even less prepared to handle it.
That was when I finally understood something that has become a guiding truth in my life.
The only out is through.
Not around it. Not over it. Not pretending it is not there. Through it.
And while that realization was intimidating at first, it ultimately became freeing.
Prefer to listen? The Audio Blog version is available here.
Avoidance Feels Safer Until It Isn’t
Avoidance gives temporary relief. It lowers anxiety in the moment. It allows us to breathe for a second.
But unresolved emotions, difficult conversations, grief, fear, and truth do not disappear simply because we delay them.
They accumulate.
They surface in stress, burnout, irritability, anxiety, and even physical symptoms. And often, the longer we avoid something, the bigger it feels.
Facing something directly is rarely comfortable. But avoiding it usually costs more in the long run.
That was a hard lesson for me.
But a necessary one.
Growth Lives On The Other Side Of Discomfort
Every meaningful shift in my life required walking through discomfort.
Healing. Honest conversations. Setting boundaries. Admitting mistakes. Asking for help. Letting go of relationships that no longer served me. Even allowing joy again after loss.
None of that happened by bypassing difficult emotions.
It happened by moving through them.
And while the process was not always graceful, it was transformative.
Because growth rarely happens in comfort zones.
It happens when we face what we would rather avoid.
Emotional Courage Builds Emotional Strength
Courage is often misunderstood.
People assume it means fearlessness. But most of the courageous choices I have made happened while I was afraid.
Speaking honestly when silence felt easier. Showing vulnerability when hiding felt safer. Choosing healing when numbness felt familiar.
Courage is not the absence of fear.
It is movement despite fear.
And each time you move through something difficult, your emotional resilience grows.
That confidence compounds.
My Own Turning Point
There was a moment when I realized I could not keep outrunning myself.
Old patterns. Old pain. Old coping strategies. They were not working anymore. They were exhausting me.
So I made a choice.
Not to rush healing. Not to force perfection. Just to start walking through what I had been avoiding.
Therapy. Honest conversations. Self-reflection. Accountability. Forgiveness.
It was uncomfortable. Sometimes painful. Occasionally messy.
But it was also liberating.
Because each step forward reduced the weight I had been carrying.
Through Does Not Mean Alone
One important clarification.
Moving through something does not mean you have to do it alone.
Support matters. Friends. Family. Therapists. Mentors. Community. Shared experiences.
Connection often makes difficult processes more manageable. It provides perspective, encouragement, and accountability.
Strength is not isolation.
Strength is allowing support while doing the work.
And that combination is powerful.
Progress Is Not Linear
There were days I felt strong. Days I felt exhausted. Days I felt hopeful. Days I felt overwhelmed.
That fluctuation is normal.
Healing is rarely a straight line. It is often a spiral. You revisit themes at deeper levels. You grow gradually. You build resilience incrementally.
The key is movement.
Even slow movement counts.
Even uncertain movement counts.
Forward is forward.
Peace Comes From Processing, Not Avoiding
When you move through something instead of around it, something shifts internally.
Clarity replaces confusion. Acceptance replaces resistance. Peace replaces tension.
Not instantly.
But steadily.
And that peace becomes a foundation you carry forward into future challenges.
Which makes future obstacles feel less intimidating.
Because you already know you can move through them.
SLAY Reflection
Let’s reflect, SLAYER:
S: What situation or emotion have you been avoiding lately?
L: What feels most uncomfortable about facing it directly?
A: Who could support you as you move through this experience?
Y: What small step today would represent forward movement rather than avoidance?
Call to Action: Join the Conversation
I’d love to hear from you.
What challenge taught you that the only way forward was through, and what did you learn on the other side?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.
And if you know someone navigating a difficult season, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.
