learning through failure

Just Because You Make Mistakes Doesn’t Mean You Are A Mistake

We all make mistakes.
It’s how we grow. It’s how we learn.
Sometimes we learn to do things differently, and sometimes we simply learn that mistakes are just part of the process—an oops, not an identity.

But there’s a dangerous turning point many of us reach:
When we start to believe that we are the mistake.

That’s when mistakes stop being lessons and start becoming labels.
And when we internalize our failures, we block our own growth.

The Trap of Perfectionism

When I was living in the dark, I believed I was a mistake.
Every time I messed up—even just a little—I used it as proof that I was broken, unworthy, or incapable.

I set impossibly high standards for myself, and when I didn’t meet them, I punished myself emotionally.

  • I beat myself up.
  • I questioned my worth.
  • I kept mental score of every misstep.

Perfection wasn’t just the goal—it was the requirement.
And every time I fell short, I used it as another reason to feel like I had failed at life.

The Permission to Mess Up

Everything changed when I got help.
I was told something I had never even considered:
It’s okay to make mistakes. In fact, it’s encouraged.

Mistakes meant I was trying.
Mistakes meant I was doing something new.
Mistakes meant I was taking action—even if the outcome didn’t go as planned.

That shift in thinking opened the door to something I hadn’t felt in a long time: freedom.

I stopped needing to be perfect and started focusing on being present.
I learned to ask, What can this mistake teach me? instead of, What does this say about me?

Listening to the Signs

Another thing I began to notice?
I made more mistakes when I wasn’t taking care of myself.

If I was tired, overwhelmed, underfed, or overworked—my errors increased.
And instead of blaming myself, I started seeing those slip-ups as signals.

  • Maybe I needed rest.
  • Maybe I needed better boundaries.
  • Maybe I needed to slow down.

Mistakes became more than just missteps—they became a check-in.
An opportunity to notice where I might be neglecting my own needs.

Mistakes That Lead to Magic

Here’s the other thing:
Some of my biggest mistakes?
They’ve led me to some of the most beautiful parts of my life.

If I hadn’t taken the wrong turn, I wouldn’t have found the right path.
If I hadn’t said yes when I probably should have said no, I wouldn’t have learned what a real yes feels like.

We don’t always know in the moment, but sometimes what we call a mistake is actually just a redirection.
A plot twist with a purpose.

The Only Real Mistake?

The only mistake you can make is not taking action because you’re afraid of failing.
Playing it safe. Holding back. Staying small. That’s where real regret grows.

Life isn’t about getting it right all the time.
It’s about trying.
Learning.
Adjusting.
And trying again.

Mistakes are just part of the road.
They’re not roadblocks. They’re guides.

And they are never who you are.

SLAY Reflection: What Are You Learning?

  1. Do you tend to beat yourself up when you make a mistake?
    What does your inner voice sound like in those moments?
  2. Have any of your past mistakes led to something unexpectedly positive?
    What did you learn?
  3. What can you do to be more forgiving of yourself when you mess up?
    What would you say to a friend in your position?
  4. Are you holding back from taking action out of fear of making a mistake?
    What might shift if you gave yourself permission to just try?
  5. How can you begin turning your mistakes into tools for learning instead of weapons for self-punishment?
    What would change if you saw them as stepping stones instead of stop signs?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
What’s one mistake you’ve learned from—and how did it help you grow?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who’s being too hard on themselves, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.

Falling Down Is Part Of The Process

When we step into a new chapter—filled with intention, purpose, and growth—we often expect things to go smoothly. We’re showing up, doing the work, making better choices… shouldn’t that mean we’re past the hard parts?

Not quite.

Falling down is part of the process. Always has been. Always will be.

I’ve learned more from my falls than I ever have from my wins. Those stumbles gave me new tools, revealed blind spots, and taught me that even when there isn’t a clear solution, I’m strong enough to get back up again.

Falling isn’t failure—it’s feedback.

Setbacks Aren’t Stop Signs

It’s easy to feel discouraged when things don’t go the way we hoped.

When you’re working so hard to be better, live authentically, and move forward, setbacks can feel personal. It’s frustrating. It’s deflating. But here’s the truth: setbacks don’t mean you’re off track—they mean you’re on it.

Every fall is an opportunity to pause, reflect, and ask:

  • What did this moment teach me?

  • What was my part in it?

  • What new tool or insight can I take forward from here?

If everything went perfectly all the time, we wouldn’t learn much. We wouldn’t build strength. And we definitely wouldn’t develop the resilience we need for long-term growth.

Every Fall Is Just Information

Let’s take the drama out of the fall.

Not every stumble is a crisis. Not every setback is a disaster. Sometimes it’s just a signpost that says: Not this way. Try another.

When we start to look at our missteps as information—not identity—we take back our power.

A fall doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means something needed your attention.

Maybe you weren’t doing what you needed to do.
Maybe you missed a red flag.
Maybe the lesson was simply about learning how to stand back up.

Whatever the reason, the fall isn’t the end. It’s just part of the path.

Falling Forward with Intention

Some of the most painful moments in my life were the result of my own choices—or lack of action. But with each one, I had a decision to make: let the fall define me, or let it refine me.

If we ignore what the fall is trying to teach us, it’s likely we’ll end up back in that same spot—only this time it’ll hurt more, because we’ll know better.

But if we take the time to reflect, gather what we need, and move forward differently, we turn what was once a painful experience into a stepping stone toward something better.

Keep Showing Up

The key isn’t avoiding every fall. That’s impossible. The key is learning how to rise, gather the lesson, and keep moving.

No matter how hard you fall, you can get back up.
No matter how lost you feel, you can find your way again.

Eventually, you’ll recognize the patterns. You’ll learn where the pitfalls are. And you’ll start to navigate the path with more confidence.

Falling doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re growing.
And growth is never a straight line—it’s a beautifully messy journey.

SLAY Reflection

Let’s reflect together, SLAYER:

  • S: What’s your usual reaction when you fall—do you give up or get curious?

  • L: Can you recall a setback that led to growth or a better decision later on?

  • A: How can you start viewing setbacks as information rather than personal failure?

  • Y: What’s one fall you can reframe today as a stepping stone instead of a stopping point?

Call to Action: Join the Conversation

I’d love to hear from you.
When was the last time you fell, and what did it teach you?
Share your story in the comments. Let’s cheer each other on.

And if you know someone who feels defeated by a recent fall, send this to them.
Sometimes, all we need is a nudge.